Happy Father’s Day to my dad, all my friends who are dads,
and, I suppose, to me.
The whole Mother’s Day vs. Father’s Day thing has always
seemed a little unbalanced to me. I don’t remember our family
doing much or saying much about Father’s Day when I was a kid,
particularly in comparison to Mother’s Day.
Perhaps it’s not a big surprise because, at least in terms
of recognition of the holidays by the federal government,
Mother’s Day has been around since 1914 while a presidential
proclamation of Father’s Day waited until Richard Nixon in
1972.
So, when I was a young kid, Father’s Day didn’t officially
exist. When I was an older kid, it perhaps still didn’t seem like
a “real” holiday and anyway my dad didn’t seem the type to care a
lot about a day dedicated to appreciating him.
I sort of feel the same way, maybe because I grew up
without Father’s Day seeming like a big deal and maybe because I
feel like the stuff I do for the family is what I’m supposed to
do. It’s like celebrating a soldier for his day-to-day tasks
while serving in the Army. But we tend to celebrate soldiers
after their military service, whether they left it living or not,
rather than just for doing their jobs. And in the short years
that I’ve been a father, I’ve felt much the same
way.
Mother’s Day, on the other hand, was always a big deal when
I was growing up, at least in comparison to many other holidays,
and remains so in my house today. My wife anticipates it, I
prepare for it and try to get my kids to play along — not easy
with toddlers but fun to try.
I have always told my wife (since we’ve had kids, thus
making me eligible for celebration) that I don’t want to make too
much of Father’s Day, that I don’t really think what I’m doing is
all that special or worthy of taking an otherwise beautiful
Sunday and complicating it with unneeded
festivities.
But as I think about it more, as I progress through
fatherhood, I’m objecting to Father’s Day less. Sure, there’s
lots of inherent joy and happiness in being a dad. But there’s
also lots of effort, lots and lots of cost, hundreds of hours of
driving and diaper changing and other things taking me away from
things I’d rather be doing. So, maybe, if it’s OK to celebrate
Mom’s contribution to the family and to raising the kids and to
the sacrifices she makes, just maybe it’s OK to celebrate us
dads, too. Maybe it’s OK for us to have a day of being pampered
and appreciated just for being us.
So it’s in that spirit that I promise to enjoy this
Father’s Day. We’re going to go down to a friend’s place where a
big group of our small circle of friends will get together on
this perfect Colorado almost-summer day for food and drink and to
let our kids play in the small lake in their neighborhood. With
luck, I won’t have to spend the whole day watching the kids —
but knowing me I’ll probably do just that out of
habit.
Anyway, I hope those of you who read this who are dads will
find a way, like me, to realize that perhaps we are worthy of a
little celebration even though we would do what we do, like a
soldier, without it.
And now, I have to go mow the lawn.
SoCon| 6.20.10 @ 3:21PM
Happy Father's Day, Ross; and Happy Father's Day to all you great dads out there. You're more than deserving of a day in your honor.
You're the best!
bluecollarbytes| 6.20.10 @ 5:26PM
Ross Kaminski: "I sort of feel the same way, maybe because I grew up without Father's Day seeming like a big deal and maybe because I feel like the stuff I do for the family is what I'm supposed to do."
Good way to put it. We need more of 'doing stuff for the family because we're supposed to'. My dad's duty was to his wife (after God) , then his children. But his duty Was his life. He wouldn't have had it any other way. He would feel awkward for being complimented for doing his duty/ living his life.
bluecollarbytes| 6.20.10 @ 6:38PM
...that's Ross Kaminsky (duh)