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More snow is coming to the mid-Atlantic region.  It's not supposed to be a lot.  But we really have had enough snow to last a lifetime.  Other than the beneficial impact of shutting down Washington, nothing positive can be said about the approaching fifth storm in a couple of weeks.

Obviously the snow gods are angry.

People have tried to stop the storms by begging, screaming, and crying.  Nothing has worked.  It's time to try a new tactic.  Human sacrifice.

I don't make the suggestion lightly.  But it turns out that there are people who enjoy this horrid white crap that covers my house, lawn, driveway,  and sidewalk.  Which fills parking lots and road shoulders.  And which still impedes travel on most roads.

Reports the Washington Post:

Snoverdose?

No way, says Anita Boice: "I don't think I have a breaking point with snow. I love all this snow."

Boice, a Coast Guard field biologist from Woodbridge, is a rare breed of Washingtonian: She's not just excited about predictions of more snow on Monday, she's rooting for the region to become absolutely buried. Again. "Feets and feets of snow!" Boice says hopefully. "I know a lot of people hate it. My mom hates it. And there's bad parts to getting this much snow. But you've gotta enjoy it."

Let most everyone else mutter "sno mas" from behind these enormous drifts; Boice and her fellow winter-weather geeks want nothing more than, well . . . more.

"As long as we've already set the record, let's keep going and get it as high as possible," says Brian DeCorla-Souza. At home in Alexandria, he's been analyzing the latest weather prediction models and comparing notes on the Internet with other amateur forecasters and some professional meteorologists. Major accumulation is looking unlikely; three inches or less seems probable, DeCorla-Souza sighs.

Amazing.  Who are these misanthropes?  These enemies of humanity?

As a family website, I can't express what I really think of these people.  But I do have a solution.

The snow gods obviously are angry and must be propitiated.  Who better to sacrifice than the people who enjoy snow, who revel in the monstrous deluge from the sky?!

I won't mention any names, though the Washington Post article is a good place to start.  Anyone who announces to hundreds of thousands of people around him that he or she likes snow is, well, asking for it.

And most of us probably know of secret snow lovers, people who fear public retribution so they keep quiet about how much they enjoy mountains of white stuff all around.  It's time to identify the miscreants and impose proper punishments.

How many must go?  However many it takes to get Mother Nature to stop.  Desperate times call for desperate measures.

What if it doesn't work?  Well, no worries.  It still would be satisfying to shut up those who really, truly, do enjoy the white stuff!

View all comments (13) | Leave a comment

Richard Baker| 2.14.10 @ 10:24AM

I grew up in Lorton, Virginia which is about 26 miles south of DC. Glad to see the snow has returned. More!

Tish| 2.14.10 @ 11:31AM

No, let's start with Phil Jones and all the other scientific cheaters, then most of the MSM science writers. If that doesn't do the trick, we can then turn to those cursed with the snow-lover gene expression.

Yosemeti Sam| 2.14.10 @ 11:41AM

" ... Time for a Sacrifice to the Snow gods ...."

Yo:

In its' winding intricacies - GOD guided-nature will have its' way on climate change .

Who is man - to aver that they have a say?

To entertain wildly that they the faux cocksure climate scientists' insightfullness - bowing to garbage in garbage out man parametrized computer models - have the final word of prophecy on Earths' dynamic bubble of
atmosphere sustaining LIFE.

LOL.

Mike| 2.14.10 @ 2:29PM

Since climate change is a" hoax" (as clearly demonstrated by the snow in D.C. and Dallas) one would think those who have decried this "hoax" would be gleeful at the "vindication" of their views.

Nick| 2.14.10 @ 9:47PM

Are you the same Mike who tried to pose as a conservative while making racist remarks?

Mike| 2.15.10 @ 8:20AM

No

wwwexler| 2.16.10 @ 4:49PM

You lie!

Missy| 2.14.10 @ 10:32PM

Hey, Mike, in case you haven't noticed, most of the Globaloney Warming scientists are back-pedaling (BIG TIME!) from the silly 'global warming' hoax they invented. Seems the self-appointed climate minders "lost their data."

Uh huh, yeah sure.

Hysterics aside, you greenies have got nothing.

Franklin| 2.14.10 @ 5:49PM

I nominate Algore to be first!!

Missy| 2.14.10 @ 7:56PM

Yeah, Algore--he would count as FIVE sacrifices!

Jack| 2.15.10 @ 6:35AM

Certainly his ego is worth at least five sacrifices!

John W.| 2.15.10 @ 9:15AM

Doug,

Terrible article! After "Obviously the snow gods are angry" you got everything wrong.

Yes, the snow gods are angry. After events at Copenhagen, our East Coast, and now the entire country, I think it's quite clear they are angry at those who pronounced their demise. That being the case, the only responsible action is to begin the human sacrifice with the pagans of the AGW cult.

8^)

Steven Schmitt| 2.15.10 @ 10:18AM

Why the heck does the Coast Guard have biologists? Not only that, but can it really be that this particular biologist apparently does not know "feets" is not a correct usage in English?

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More Blog Posts by Doug Bandow

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