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The Onion Explains ObamaCare

By Doug Bandow on 10.7.09 @ 10:01PM

What would President Barack Obama's proposed takeover of health care mean? The Onion explains:

President Barack Obama held a nationally televised address Tuesday to "clarify any misunderstandings" about his health care proposal, assuring Americans that under the new bill senior citizens-and not the federal government-will have the right to choose how they are executed.

"Let me dispel these ridiculous rumors once and for all and set the record straight: Under my plan, seniors are going to be killed the way they want to be killed, end of story," said the president, who acknowledged that "wiping out" the nation's elderly population has always been his No. 1 priority. "If your grandmother would rather be euthanized in the privacy of her own home than be gutted and hanged on a high school soccer field, she is entitled to that right."

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Pingback| 10.7.09 @ 10:57PM

Twitter Trackbacks for The American Spectator : AmSpecBlog : The Onion Explains Obam links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:

…Philip Klein amspec American Spectator 112 Show more Shortened Links Linking to the spectator.org page http://bit.ly/igXnk info http://bit.ly/1RVw3g info 3 tweets Tweet The American Spectator : AmSpecBlog : The Onion Explains ObamaCare spectator.org/blog/2009/10/07/the-onion-explains-obamacare – view page – cached What would President Barack Obama's proposed takeover of health care mean? The…

jharp| 10.7.09 @ 11:18PM

Sounds a lot like Palin's description.

Steve Lucas| 10.8.09 @ 2:18PM

It's the Onion. It's supposed to be funny.

It is funny.

Bob| 10.8.09 @ 8:27AM

Can we ask CNN to 'factcheck' this Onion story please?

bluecollarbytes| 10.8.09 @ 8:47AM

Sounds like these Democrats need the courage of convictions of the general populace. By releasing the bill 72 hours before a vote, people will actually Read what's in it and make their opposition known, again, thereby handing 'courage' to those Democrats who have more brains than Party/Obama allegiance.

Grzmlyk| 10.8.09 @ 12:06PM

Hmmm. SNL and now The Onion?

Is the Obama bandwagon going off the rails?

I'm just waiting for one of the gangsters in the Obama crib to say, "Et tu, Matthews?" Although the vernacular, "Yo, butt boy! Why you ain't layin' out the props no mo, mo fo?" will doubtless be employed.

Kidding, of course: Matthews and Krugman and the rest of them will remain in their deck chairs, blissfully oiling up, well after the Titanic settles at the bottom of the ocean.

But even I am seeing signs of hope and change. I live in uber-liberal Burlington, VT. Three months ago you couldn't swing a dead cat and not hit a Prius or a Subaru or a Volvo that had the obligatory "Obama/Biden" bumper sticker worshipfully affixed to its posterior - right next to the "War is NOT the Answer" bumper sticker (ah, idiocy springs eternal).

Do my eyes deceive me or have most of them disappeared? On my way home from work the other night, I counted zero!

Be still my beating heart, but I think the bloom may really be coming off the Obama rose. When the Vermont left abandons a would-be Marxist icon, there ain't a whole lotta places he can go for succor.

Surely, strutting around in front of Michelle in the fatigues Castro sent him cannot be all that satisfying, no matter how vigorously she effects the old Nazi salute. And with ACORN's construction of the "Leader for Life" apparatus interrupted by those nasty young guerilla journalists, Obama may actually be forced to contact Tony Rezko to land him a sweet condo deal by 2013.

Yes, the next leftist messiah looms just over the horizon and waits patiently for his or her cue; after all, one thing is certain: We will never be rid of liberalism's toxic allure for those who are gravity-challenged.

But we conservatives may be in for a very satisfying and very unequivocal implosion of a figure that just months ago did bestride the world like a colossus and did bring together the fools and the knaves in one glorious onanistic orgy.

Unfortunately for us, he and his fellow thugs are determined to bring the whole edifice down with them. And they’ve got a wicked head start.