The Spectacle Blog

Who Is Trying to Heal Ferguson?

By on 3.12.15 | 4:38PM

Attorney General Eric Holder has publicly condemned last night's shooting of two police officers in Ferguson. Indeed, Holder went off-script and referred to the shooter as a "damn punk". In the prepared portion of his remarks that he delivered in D.C. announcing a pilot project for the National Initiative for Building Community Trust and Justice, Holder stated:

What happened last night was a pure ambush. This was not someone trying to bring healing to Ferguson, but someone who wants to stoke unrest. This disgusting and cowardly attack might have been intended to unravel any sense of progress, but I hope that doesn’t happen. Incidents like the one we have witnessed throw into sharp relief why conversations like the one we convened today—to build trust between law enforcement and community members—are so important.

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John Kerry, Frequent Flier, Outraged at Fossil Fuel Usage

By on 3.12.15 | 2:49PM

Last year, John Kerry logged a lot of travel in his position as Secretary of State. By November of this year, he's certain to log many, many, many more. 

As these trips necessarily involve going over large bodies of water, and as we have yet to invent a reliable method of transportation that replaces private air travel, such as a Star Trek transporter that allows John Kerry to hop from capitol to capitol in a sparkly haze of atoms, John Kerry is still forced to rely on fossil fuels. And even if he's not traveling for work, his home, cars and yacht don't run on puppy farts and rays of sunshine.

But being that he's John Kerry, it matters not how much of a carbon footprint he leaves behind. You see, he is very busy and important, saving the world from the greatest threat to humanity, carbon emissions. As such, his movement and egregious consumption of dead dinosaur juice is not only justified, it is warranted and necessary in the service of something much greater than the sum of John Kerry. 

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TIME Magazine Makes Hillary Clinton a She-Devil

By on 3.12.15 | 12:57PM

Literally.

Time magazine — which still exists, much to the relief of dentists’ offices nationwide — released its latest issue this morning, and with it, its latest cover image — which appears to give Hillary Clinton horns. Sort of.

I say “sort of,” because the camera seems to be tracking Hillary from the side, with the sihouetted figure turned only slightly from the field of view, heading away. Hillary’s actual horns, if we’re going to be anatomically correct, would be closer together, given the perspective. And I guess I always imagined that, with Hillary Clinton, they’d be bigger.

But I suppose it's all relative to who you are and what kind of horrible, devilish things you’ve accomplished. I don’t know a lot about horns. 

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The Secret Service Throws Better Parties Than You

By on 3.12.15 | 12:48PM

Last week was tough on the White House. All they were trying to do was negotiate this nuclear arms deal with Iran, and everything just kept getting in the way. First, Hillary Clinton decides to take over a week to figure out what excuse would work best for her missing emails. Then, the Republicans decided to make a whole thing out of asking why the administration was openly negotiating a treaty with a terrorist state. Thankfully, the Secret Service was able inject some levity into an otherwise depressing state of affairs, or the White House might be led to believe their circumstances are not so rosy.

Apparently, last Wednesday, a couple of Secret Service agents decided to have a tiny bit too much to drink at a local party and then test their colleagues' preparedness by getting into their vehicle and driving straight into a security pylon on the White House lawn.

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Pickin’ on Cotton?

By on 3.12.15 | 12:14PM

I must say that after reading Ross' article detailing his objections to Senator Tom Cotton's letter to Iran's leaders signed by him and 46 other Republican Senators leaves me perplexed.

Ross derides the Cotton letter in harsh terms throughout his piece. He begins by stating the letter "reminds us why the GOP can’t seem to get away from its reputation as having an uncanny ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of political victory."

He then describes the letter as the "political equivalent of a football fumble" before proclaiming that it "plays into the caricature of Republicans as a party incapable of governing".

For good measure Ross also calls the letter an act of "self-destructive futility" and "a mistake in every important aspect" before concluding that Cotton is "playing directly into the hands of America's enemies, both foreign and domestic."

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Lindsey Graham Jokes That He Would Use the Military to Contain Congress

By on 3.12.15 | 11:55AM

Lindsey Graham is about as far from a serious candidate for President as possible, but every once in a while you get a hint of something lurking just below the surface. It's not a good thing, necessarily, but enough of an inkling to realize that Lindsey Graham does indeed have a contingency plan if and when he is declared supreme benevolent dictator of this United States. 

Yesterday, when asked what he would do if things got out of hand in his negotiations with Congress as President, Graham jokingly posited that he'd round up the military and position them at all of the exits so that no one left town until he said so.

…[A]nd here is the first thing I would do if I were President of the United States: I wouldn’t let Congress leave town until we fix this. I would literally use the military to keep them in if I had to. We’re not leaving town until we restore these defense cuts. We’re not leaving town until we restore the intel cuts.

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Jimmy Greenspoon, R.I.P.

By on 3.12.15 | 9:18AM

Jimmy Greenspoon, the longtime keyboard player for Three Dog Night passed away yesterday from cancer. He was 67.

Greenspoon was an original member of Three Dog Night and was touring with them until earlier this year.

His keyboards can be heard in such Three Dog Night classics like "One", "Mama Told Me Not to Come" and "Joy to the World".

On a personal note, I've had the opportunity to see Three Dog Night perform several times. Their music holds up quite well and they remain a very a good live band. It will be nearly impossible to replace him.

 

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Two Ferguson Police Officers Shot & In Serious Condition

By on 3.12.15 | 8:42AM

Early this morning, two Ferguson police officers were shot outside the Ferguson police station and are in serious condition as of this writing.

I guess neither Eric Holder's report last week nor the resignation of Ferguson police chief Thomas Jackson yesterday is enough.

These so-called protesters want dead cops.

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Anthony Weiner’s Twitter Lady Snags Another Democrat

By on 3.11.15 | 3:45PM

It's been all Clinton all the time in my news feed, so we're definitely due for a palate cleanser. 

While we've all been reliving the most important sex scandal of the 1990s (outside of anything that happened on Beverly Hills: 90210), why shouldn't we also relive the most important sex scandal in the history of 2013? Anthony Weiner may have sworn off sexting women on Twitter, at least, as far as we know, in favor of just simply berating random people in the virtual space on rare occasions, but his DM partner-turned-adult film star Sydney Leathers has not similarly sworn off social media. And, thanks to Amazon receipts obtained by gossip website, The Dirty, we know that she's still in the same field: conducting virtual trysts with Democratic politicians.

Sydney Leathers is back. The woman at the center of former congressman Anthony Weiner's (D-N.Y.) 2013 sexting scandal is at the center of another, this time with an Indiana state lawmaker.

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Petition to Charge Sen. Tom Cotton With Treason Gets Fewer Signatures than “Deport Justin Bieber”

By on 3.11.15 | 2:01PM

I've heard more about the Logan Act from armchair political science scholars in my Facebook feed in two days than I heard in actual political science classes. 

This is all because, apparently, a bunch of Senators who wrote a letter confirming that the Obama Administration couldn't unilaterly approve a nuclear technology treaty with Iran without first consulting Congress. Suddenly, they're "siding with hardliners" (as though there is anything but in Iran) and undermining the authority of the President (to do, what, exactly?), even though John Kerry himself admits that nothing hammered out with Iran is final or legally biding. As fantastic as the letter has been for Obama's standup comedy career, it does drive home the point that any agreement reached is temporary, at best.

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