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Paul Sands of Pun Salad has collected a "best of" from the recent police logs of my hometown of Rochester, New Hampshire. Highlights include:

10:12 a.m. - At the station a man reports getting a strange message on his cell phone, to whit: "It looks like she's dead." These dire words have come from a phone in Dover. Police there track it to a city landscaper and discover he was talking about a dead sprinkler head. So she may be restored to life.

11:22 a.m. - Two strange sheep munch in a Dry Hill Road yard, but then move along.

11:24 p.m. - A man steals a 30-pack from Cumberland Farms on Milton Road and escapes on foot, despite baggy jeans.

11:27 p.m. - A party rages on Main Street, Gonic. No officers are available to handle the call. Rage on, McDuff.