The American Spectator

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Who's In The Bushes At 3 AM?

By J. Peter Freire on 3.12.08 @ 1:42AM

As a recovering English major, it is actually refreshing to come across such a brilliant satire as what Harvard professor Orlando Patterson offers in the Times:

The trouble is, Patterson isn't being satirical. That 3 a.m. ad? It was reminiscent of The Birth of Nations, another historical document that would have been funny if it hadn't been so earnest.

Let me introduce to you Professor Orlando Patterson, insomniac internet user:

At 3 a.m., Professor Patterson is stirred by the feeling of dread that goes beyond his usual disdain for negative campaign tactics. Indeed, Patterson arrives at the same conclusion as the rest of us who've all suffered from too much YouTube.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch:
It could be anything! It could be Washington Irving, or a bomb, or the final season of The Wire!
So goodbye Orlando Patterson, PhD. Ahoy Detective 'Lando, Image Investigator!
Obviously, when the phone rings at 3 a.m., we're most worried about Which is why people felt compelled to vote for Hillary because, once they saw her in her grey business suit at 3 a.m., they knew... In other words: Orlando Patterson has endorsed the only person capable of saving us at 3 a.m.: Jack Bauer.

topics:
Business, Satire