The Spectacle Blog

Democrats’ Healthy Habits

By on 5.11.09 | 1:17PM

Sen. Tom Harkin and Sen. Max Baucus want to give incentives for “healthy” behavior as part of the Democrats' “health care reform.” It depends on what the meaning of “healthy” is.


Democrats’ Healthy Habits
      By Asher Embry

Well, here comes Harkin’s “Nanny State!”
As Democrats deliberate,
And plot their brand new health care laws,
They’ll try to “fix” each person’s “flaws”;
Incentivize how we behave.
Just don’t refuse; the costs are grave.

They’ve made a list as is their wont,
Of things to do and those we oughtn’t.

There’re incentives if we stay smoke-free,
Eat right, avoid obesity.
They want our bodies strong and trim;
Make sure we daily use the gym.

But as we’re talking Democrat,
We know their list won’t stop at that.
They’ll legislate to have their say;
Make sure we live our lives their way.

Rewards, they surely will provide,
To those who take a same-sex bride.
They’ll give incentives if we use,
A Prius or pay union dues.
Watch Olbermann on our TV,
Mock protesters with bags of tea.
Read Newsweek and the New York Times.
(Scratch out a living peddling rhymes?)

They’ll want us all to emulate,
The leader who they celebrate:
Accept all Venezuelans’ books,
Give Chrysler lenders dirty looks.
Hurl slurs about returning vets,
Add trillions more in yearly debts.
Negotiate with any mullah;
Bow in front of King Abdullah.
Put Grey Poupon on all your burgers;
Find U.S. homes for hostile Uighurs.
They’ll also make reward-invoking:
If no one photographs you smoking.

Know the cherished final goal that’s
Desired most by Democrats:
The best way to improve your health?
They’d say: Let Dems remove your wealth.

(You can read more of Asher Embry's Political Verse at www.politicalverse.com.) 

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