The Spectacle Blog

Sorry Kids, You Can’t Be on the Supreme Court

By on 9.27.05 | 10:54AM

At least Richard Cohen is an honest liberal -- meaning he does not hide his condescension, arrogance, and willingness to play the class/race card whenever convenient. According to Cohen in today's Washington Post ("An Easy Life With Easy Answers"), John Roberts, though eminently qualified to be Chief Justice on the merits of his intellect and experience as both lawyer and jurist, is ultimately unqualified because he grew up in comfy, mid-western, middle class ease. Says Cohen: "There is almost nothing in Roberts' record or life story that he has any idea of what it is like to be the underdog."

We don't even have to extrapolate Cohen's absurd premise to come to its logical conclusion (rich white people are unqualified to serve on the High Court). He states it plainly: "Nothing about the man suggests he knows what it is like to have a cop test your reflexes with a billy club or to be faced, down and out, with a calamitous pregnancy."

Having grown up without the silver spoon, I have always admired the boot-strappers, the self-made, and the underdogs. But having achieved some small measure of financial comfort, I am fairly well adamant that my three children have the advantages that come with being thrice removed generationally from Ellis Island/>/> and firmly ensconced in suburban bliss. I admit it; I chose for them a private Catholic school over the public option. We live in a nice little home in a nice little neighborhood surrounded by well-kept gardens and BMWs. Until today, their little lives have been relatively free of major disappointments -- the kind that can't be cured with a trip to the ice cream store.

But this afternoon when they return from school, I'll have to hand them their first bit of truly bad news: according to Richard Cohen, they are already unqualified for the Supreme Court. The two girls may be devastated, though I'm sure the boy will bounce back as he had his eyes set a little higher: shortstop for the New York Yankees.

Meanwhile, someone quickly phone the President. It seems that Mike Tyson is available and interested in the O'Connor slot.

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