Enemy of the Week

From Russia With Hate

Someone in a position to know informed Our President.

By 7.18.14

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Even EOW laureate Piers Morgan was appalled. “President Obama massively dropped the ball just now,” he tweeted. “23 Americans killed and he says ‘it looks like a terrible tragedy’ then back to jokes?” If you’ve lost Piers, is there anyone left to lose? Perhaps Joe Biden, whose looks our president mocked during his photo-op stop in Wilmington yesterday. Then it was on to New York City for an up-to-$32,000-a-pop fundraiser or two. Seriously. His timing is impeccable. Will he next impose sanctions on himself?

But enough about him. Let’s hear a word of cheer from someone else. We’ve settled on the fleshiest fish in the barrel, former whatever he was Al Gore, who’s still at it, droning away in Australia this time about how climate change is “the biggest crisis our civilization faces.” A few days later Brisbane registered it coldest morning in 103 years. Must be because Al absorbed all the heat.

At least two other troublemakers fled the country as well. Virginia governor Terry McAuliffe, took his crony capitalist “trade mission” act to China and London this week, the Washington Post securely in his pocket. As it noted in an adoring sendoff, TM over his long career “was accused of mixing business and politics to enrich himself,” the implication being that it was Republicans who had made those unsubstantiated charges. In fact it was none other than the Post itself, in a long investigative piece five short years ago. Perhaps the Post forgot its contents, so busy it was bringing down Terry’s predecessor on chump change charges.

The other foreign tripper is hizzoner Bill de Blasio, off tonight for a ten-day vacation in the big booted country of Italy—“the longest foreign trip by a New York mayor in a generation.” You can tell he’s not the sentimental type. Otherwise he’d be going back to Nicaragua. Maybe next year.

Two kvetchers continued to kvetch. As the president’s party suffers under his leadership, Maureen Dowd sees a silver lining: “the best news for Democrats is that Republicans are talking impeachment.” Actually, no. It’s Maureen Dowd talking about Republicans supposedly talking impeachment. Once again, after that Colorado cannabis cookie spree, she’s still seeing things. Meanwhile, Sen. Barbara Boxer wants to know: “Why Are We Still Fighting Over Birth Control in the 21st Century?” What do you mean “we,” Babs? You’re the one determined to pick a fight. Have you considered women’s professional boxing?

Or learn from your good friend, the Hon. Hillary. She went on Jon Stewart’s show and had just the sweetest time. Birth control doesn’t concern her now — she’s going to be a grandmother! So her book’s not selling. But who reads books anymore? Only thing that matters is whether she’s going to run. Well, duh. Stewart couldn’t have been nicer. He’ll probably help her out in picking drapes for the “home office” she wants to work out of, shaped as it will be without corners, as he put it and she red-facedly concurred. Only thing he didn’t ask about was that closet in which interns sometimes work. Maybe she’ll have no interns.

You think V.V. Putin has interns? What kind of question is that. He’s a serious man, even when attending the World Cup finale in Rio last Sunday along with LeBron James and Tom Brady, and they don’t use interns either. No one happened to see him at the game, though he was photographed beforehand in the company of Chancellor Merkel, Angela of Repose we like to call her. Later she would kiss every member of the winning team as if he were her son. Putin, we trust, she kicked with the shoes Lotte Lenya sported in From Russia With Love. With better results, we hope. Enemy of the Week doesn’t really capture his standing. Not the man responsible for the downing of today’s successor to the Lusitania.

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