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The God of No God

The religion of atheists and Christophobes.

By 12.24.13

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It’s Christmas. Our atheist friends are out there doing their thing. No to a crèche here, take down that cross over there, absolutely not to the Ten Commandments display somewhere else. And, of course, as the folks at GLAAD have just recently reminded us in the Duck Dynasty contretemps, there’s nothing like being out of the closet as Christophobes.

Christophobes being defined here as those with fear or contempt of Christians or those who believe in God, not to mention those who exhibit behavior based on that feeling of fear and contempt for Christians and believing in God.

It’s time.

Time to recognize that contrary to all the endless PR, atheists and Christophobes in fact have a God. It’s time to demand formal recognition of atheism and Christophobes for what they really are: followers of the religion that worships The God of No God.

As with the Judeo-Christian and Islamic gods, The God of No God is everywhere — both visible and invisible. He — and while The God of No God could be called She or even It, we will settle here for the irritating He — appears in a limitless number of ways.

Notice the town crèche that is the subject of controversy? What do you see all around that crèche — not to mention when the crèche is removed?

Notice that cross that was removed? What was in its place?

What replaced the crèche and the cross, and in fact is everywhere according to atheists, is The God of No God. Nothing. Or something… liberalism, the Democrats, being gay, abortion, having money, computers, the Internet, pornography, television, the environment, animals… the list is endless. But that interminable list always boils down to one thing: The God of No God. Wherever the object of worship is not related to Jesus Christ, the Almighty, Allah, Buddha — which is to say a spiritual deity… The God of No God demands…say again demands…your allegiance.

Where to find the worshipers of The God of No God?

Listen to the voice of Wilson Cruz, a spokesman for GLAAD. Mr. Cruz’s God of No God is gay marriage, and with the certitude of the Pharisees to Jesus or the Stalinists to Russians, discussing the Duck Dynasty flare-up with CNN Cruz said with all the fervor of a God of No God zealot that Phil Robertson “needs to get in line.” Translation: You will worship my God of No God — gay marriage — or else. Apparently Mr. Cruz skipped all those classes on bullying. He must have been too busy reading up on Hitler’s Brownshirts.

Then there’s Mikey Weinstein, whose God of No God is called “Military Religious Freedom.” Actually, Mr. Weinstein seems to have more than one God of No God. Over here at his website the first sentence boasts that Mikey Weinstein is “the undisputed leader of the national movement to restore the obliterated wall separating church and state….” Or, more plainly put, The God of No God in that corner of the world is…. Mikey Weinstein.

As with Mikey Weinstein, it is a big mistake to believe that the followers of The God of No God do not follow their own version of the Ten Commandments. Not surprisingly, the Ten Commandments of the God of No God follow along remarkably with the original Ten Commandments. And just as the original Ten Commandments read slightly differently depending on whether you are reading, say, the King James version or the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, so too are there different versions of the Ten Commandments of the God of No God. Here are just a few versions, below:

The Ten Commandments of The God of No God

First Commandment — GLAAD version: Thou shalt have no other gods before you other than gay marriage. Sieg Heil.

Second Commandment — Military Religious Freedom Foundation version: Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth that does not resemble the undisputed leader of the national movement to restore the obliterated wall separating church and state — me, Mikey. Mikey Weinstein. Ruler of the Kingdom of Obliterating the Wall Separating Church and State and the sub-kingdom of fighting Bill O’Reilly.

Third Commandment — MSNBC version: Thou shalt not take the name of Barack Obama in vain.

Fourth Commandment — A&E version: Remember the LGBT movement, to keep it holy.

Fifth Commandment — National Organization of Women version: Honor thy liberal feminists and know that Hillary Clinton but not Sarah Palin is holy.

Sixth Commandment — Planned Parenthood version: Thou shalt not refuse to abort.

Seventh Commandment — Hugh Hefner and Bill Clinton version: Thou shalt not think committing adultery is a big deal.

Eighth Commandment — Barack Obama version: Thou shalt not steal unless in the name of redistribution and income equality.

Ninth Commandment — John Podesta version: Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor unless thy neighbors are House Republicans and deserve to be called members of a Jonestown cult.

Tenth Commandment — Socialist version: Thou shalt covet everything that belongs to someone else that you want.

The Fundamentalist No Godders are, of course, always out there leading the fight for official recognition as a religion. Over at the American Atheists, for example, they are demanding official recognition of their faith with a fervor that would shame Billy Graham or the late Jerry Falwell. Says the AA: “American Atheists has filed suit against the IRS to challenge the special treatment given to churches in the Tax Code.”

Which is just another way of saying that the Fundamentalist branch of the Church of The God of No God, American Atheists, want equality of treatment and official recognition of their religion by the U.S. government. What’s good enough for the Gods of Presbyterians and Jews in the tax code must be good enough for the American Atheists and their passionate belief in The God of No God.

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About the Author
Jeffrey Lord is a former Reagan White House political director and author. He writes from Pennsylvania at jlpa1@aol.com.