Reader Mail

Name That Clinton Dog

TAP readers answer the call to help name the new laborador a certain former ex-prez has collared. Also: ''Yassir, we don't mean maybe,'' and more.

4.2.02

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NAMING BILL'S NEW FRIEND

Editor's Note: On Monday the Prowler, after an item on Buddy and his successor, asked: "But what will the new Clinton dog be named? Send your recommendations to: Bill's New Friend c/o Reader Mail (click below). All entries final. Please don't stigmatize the animal by naming him after David Brock." The following were judged Top of the Show:

How about Chelsea, Oops, he already has a dog by that name! How about Hillary -- what you say, he has a dog by that name too! Darn all the good names are taken! Oh well he could name it Dick (after Morris of course! Get your mind out of the gutter!).
-- Ron Olliff
Loganville, GA

Rich, of course. Then the command can be given to the pup, "Mark, Rich." Doggedly yours,
-- Mike Nolan

Pardon.
-- Ronnie Moore

Hillary.
-- Jim Stevenson

Dead Dog Walking.
-- unsigned

Since "Priapus" doesn't quite roll easily off the tongue, how about just "Randy"?
-- Jim Tyson
Fairfax, VA

At first, I thought of Hillary. But then I remembered he already had a Hillary. Then I thought about Monica, but he would never name a dog that; besides what if it were a male? I needed a unisex, simple name. I settled for Stain and, in my minds eye, imagined him calling the dog.
--Tim Hart

May I suggest the name "Prop" for the latest unfortunate animal to be taken into the "home" of our EX-president? For surely he will be a mere prop for staged photo-ops at the Clinton "country home" in rural Westchester County. In my opinion, it is extremely unwise to permit someone who leads such a peripatetic existence to adopt yet another pet. I do hope there are kind people at the "country home" who will give the dog the love, care and attention he deserves.
-- Judith Baker
Arlington, VA

Bill's new friend should be named "Felonious."
-- unsigned

Poor Boy.
-- Ardys Parrish

May as well call him Doomed.
-- unsigned

Two things to remember about Labs:
1. They are brain-dead, lovingly loyal to their owners.
2. They create LARGE piles of "puppy poop" where ever they go.
Hmmmmm.... how about Carville?
-- George Nelson
nelsong@cableone.net

The name Webb is a natural -- he'll already be experienced at "rolling over" for his owners.
-- T.C. Drabik

Just call him...Lonesome.
-- Roger T
Atlanta, GA

Name it Broaddrick.
-- John Lauer

Monique.
Thanks for the chance.
-- Ed Wolfe

Old Yeller.
-- Andrew J. Macfadyen, M.D.
San Antonio, TX

DNA ("Dee," for short, if the dog's a female).
-- unsigned

Clinton's dog can only be named "Spunk"
-- James H. Gilliam

Too obvious -- RoadKill III
-- Jan Kamholtz

I nominate "Photo Op IV"

Photo Op I = Chelsea
Photo Op II = Socks
Photo Op III = Buddy

... Hope this brightens your day. I also feel so very sorry for the poor dog who will be totally ignored except for, you guessed it, photo ops.
-- Tom Badham
Bessemer, AL

Poor thing should be named Photo Op #2. He shouldn't have a pet. Animals have rights, too.
-- Donald Kaiser

I think the dirtbag should name his new friend "Mulligan." The last one got hit out of bounds.
-- Robert Keeler

Buddy -- that way it will be easier for Clinton's lackeys to deny the first one died.
-- Mike Albrecht
Cincinnati, OH

THE MEANING OF IS, IS
Re: Peter Hannaford's No Prollem:
How about my favorite, the big "is, is," and now morphing into "was was"? As in: "The problem is, is that the blah blah ..." "So I told him that the issue then was, was that ..." Sean Hannity, and other public figures, say this all the time; even Rush, and Richard Bey; not to mention every broadcaster on news programs. If you guys can do something to impact (WHOOPS! Sorry!!) this misuse of language, I'd be eternally grateful.
-- Helen Westover

DARN RIGHT
Re: Reader Mail's letter from Gene Smith:
"Damn skippy"? Is that a New Hampshirism? I about fell off my chair!
-- Kevin M. McGehee
Coweta County, Georgia

Gene Smith replies: No, I'm afraid it's not a true New Hampshirism. I think I picked it up from one of my adult kids. Don't know where they picked it up from. Sorry I can't provide a better etiology of the expression.

RED SOX KILLER
Re: Jerry Carter's The Nickname Hall of Fame:
How could you overlook the immortal Walter "No Neck" Williams?
-- Bill Kelly

WRETCHED OF THE EARTH
Re: John Corry's The Clinton Faithful:
Two most telling moments in Newsweek apologia: When asked if he regretted Rich pardon, Clinton replied in the affirmative but only because it was politically foolish. Nothing about the fact he circumvented our judicial system or helped a man who made millions off illegal arms trading. No, he was sorry for a political mistake that hurt Bill Clinton. Second, his intoning about having been subject to "prosecutorial abuse" (a term thrown to him by the softball reporter). You just want to wretch.
-- Robert C. Yeager

ALL CLEAR
Re: Wlady Pleszczynski's Reaching Out to Arafat:
Glad you cleared up something. Wife and I had been wondering if Andrea Koppel wasn't Ted's daughter. I was convinced almost to the nth degree when I observed the palpable deference afforded the novice Ms. Koppel by the moderator and other panelists on the session of "Capital Gang" which you mentioned. Of course she, like all sons and daughters of the famous, made it entirely on her own.

What is your take on the virulent anti-Bush, anti-administration propaganda floated by the media in recent days? My guess is that the liberal media sense an opening in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict to inflict serious damage on the administration. Charlie Rose went so far tonight (Monday) as to suggest that George Bush appoint Bill Clinton as a special representative to solve the crisis. The depth of admiration of the sleazy reprobate on the part of the Clinton lovers never ceases to amaze.

Another observation: Have you noted how CNN is loading its guest lists with left-over has-beens from the Clinton administration? Not to mention the new format for "Crossfire" which stars the two idiot-savant Clintonites, Begala and Carville. Having seen the maiden voyage of this shouting match of a program tonight, I predict viewership will fall like a lead balloon. All of which is CNN's contribution to the aforementioned campaign of discrediting the current administration, in my view.

I recall how the same unrest was being engendered during the build-up to the Afghanistan campaign. Fortunately the dazzling victories in the field of conflict over there quickly squashed the nay-sayers who wound up looking like idiots. However, our memories are barely longer than our attention span and all that success in Afghanistan is quickly forgotten - or at least conveniently ignored in the quest for a way to bring down Bush's high approval numbers.
-- Boyd Dodson
Dyer, Arkansas

Had justice prevailed, Arafat (who incidentally is not an elected leader -- his term ended in 1999 and he "grudgingly" agreed to stay on as Chairman by eliminating any major opposition through assassination and intimidation -- sounds like Robert Mugabe?) would now be in The Hague awaiting trial for crimes to humanity. Arafat stands accused of crimes against Jews (not just Israelis) stretching back 37 years, and crimes against fellow Arabs and so-called "Palestinians."

Unfortunately, the U.N. -- a democracy of dictatorships and repressive governments -- protects its own. Mr. Sharon is guilty of taking too little action. Arafat's elimination would cause most consternation among the media and EU. The Arab fiefdoms would hardly shed a tear. Neither would the Palestinians. Yes, we should reach out to Mr. Arafat, and deposit him in the cage he deserves.
-- Jacob Wajsbort
Melbourne, Australia

NOW AND THEN
A bit of alternate history, with apologies to Harry Turtledove:

April 1, 1942, Headlines in New York Times:
FDR asks Hitler to Denounce German Invasions.
Sec'y of State Tells Britain to Stop Shooting Down German Planes:
"Must break cycle of violence."

April 5, 1942, Headline in Neues York Times-Zeitung:
Heil Hitler! Herzlich Willkommen Wir Unsern Neuen Fuehrer!

Of course, it didn't really happen that way. So why is it happening that way now?
-- unsigned

BY ANY OTHER NAME
Is he or isn't he? President Bush says that Yasser ain't a terrorist. If that's so, Yasser sure is trying like h... to be one.
-- Ken Wyman
Huntsville, AL

SITED
What an amazing site. How will you survive? Click ads? Just wondering how it works...
-- Gregory Leslie, President
Cardinal Media, Inc.
Poulsbo, WA

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