Live From New York

The Jesse Jackson Delusion

An accident-prone hater can bring piece to the Middle East?

By and 8.1.02

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The most amazing thing to us is that Jesse Jackson can still attract world media attention despite so many examples of his phony and opportunistic behavior. With the possible exception of Bill Clinton, who other than Jackson is allowed to hypocritically posture as a fighter for human rights while, at the same time, intimidating and double-talking people all over the country? Anyone else who tried would either be ridiculed, humiliated or at least forced to listen to Lawrence Welk records.

Volumes of authenticated information have proven Jackson avoided taxes and harassed corporations with phony claims or threats of racial discrimination (not to mention the history of monies paid to make these threats "disappear"). You would think that after all this was made public, he would be hiding under a rock, or at least in a cellar in Pittsburgh. He has no respect for either the truth or the people to whom he talks. His motive is simply: money. You would think that by now, no one would care to listen to him longer than it takes to pick up the remote control on a TV and turn it off. But because black people have been discriminated against in previous years, white people are desperate to atone for the sins of their predecessors. This created an opportunity for a demagogue like Jackson to cash in on fake accusation and watch white people grovel like prisoners in front of a firing squad, crying and begging for Jackson's holy pardon. Meanwhile, Jackson shows up in $300 shirts, $2,000 jackets, and chauffeured limousines all the while screeching about the plight of the oppressed black people.

After so many years of this vulgar exhibition of reverse discrimination, Jackson, in his disguise as a civil rights crusader, further degraded himself with obscene behavior when he was caught with his pants down having fathered an out-of-wedlock baby. This, he shamelessly portrayed, was as a result of an accident.

We have all heard of someone running a red light by accident, but how does anyone have a baby by accident? It's possible not to see a red light. Is it possible that Jackson didn't see how close he was to the girl next to him? Was it so dark in the room at the time that he didn't know it was a girl? What could he have thought -- it was a horse? If any other spiritual leader had betrayed the values he himself preached by denouncing the birth of an illegitimate baby, he would be driven, carried, or thrown out of town before he could collect the Viagra pills that made it possible.

Jackson is now in the Middle East pretending to bring peace to the world. That makes just as much sense as President Clinton becoming the voice of chastity, morality and marital fidelity. Jackson spent his whole life preaching love while, at the same time, fomenting hate and outdoing Clinton in the field of uncontrollable lust, sinfulness, and hedonism. As a result of public outrage, Clinton at least had enough respect, after the blatant orgy of lies in the Monica Lewinsky episode, to stage an orchestrated charade of repentance, anguish, and severe pain.

Was it any surprise that the man best suited for the job of spiritual adviser to Clinton was Jesse Jackson? What a marriage! If there were ever any doubt that some marriages are made in heaven, that doubt won't plague us anymore. Jackson obviously found that the best way to outdo Clinton's lust was by buying himself a faster car. After that, Jackson moved from house to house at such breakneck speed that by the time Clinton got there, every girl in the neighborhood was too tired to do anything with him. He is probably the only man in the Western world that could make Clinton look like a moral person.

While Clinton had enough self-control to create only a stain on a dress, Jackson, in his dealings with the public, created greater a stain on his own character. Who would think that of all places Jackson would now have the temerity to posture as the peacemaker, it would be in the Middle East? Nobody asked, invited or hired him to do the job. On any public opinion poll that would be taken to name possible peacemakers for the Middle East, it is hard to think of anyone who would rate lower than Jesse Jackson. Fidel Castro would probably rate at least two points higher and Saddam Hussein would rate at least equal.

We all know about Jackson's experience in creating hate. After all, he depends on hate for a living. For every day that there is peace, it represents a threat not only to his income but also to his stardom because it's a day without his name in the headlines. If he were the man who could create peace, wouldn't the President of the United States be happy to pick him for the job? If Bush could present us with a peace agreement in the Middle East, and if Jackson was the instrument of its accomplishment, Bush would not only guarantee him the freedom from any questions about past misdeeds but would probably even send him a one-way ticket 'round the world.

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About the Author

Jackie Mason is a comedian.

About the Author

Raoul Felder is a lawyer.