You're watching SBSN, the Suicide-Bomber Support Network. It took a visionary like Ted Turner to found it, and viewers like Mrs. Tony "Cherie" Blair and Oliver Stoned to solidify its ratings. Yet truth be told, this trio was rather slow to react to this week's slaughters -- reacting only after the bombers had earned their bonuses from Saddam. As always the future belongs to those who see it ahead of time, and promise aid and comfort long before it's fashionable to do so.
Once again, California and would-be Californians show the way, as a letter released one week ago by people of conscience organized by Hollywoodian Ed Asner and a score of Noam Chomsky admirers made plain. Prominent Americans including Gloria Steinem, Alice Walker, Martin Luther King III, Casey Kasem, Michael Lerner and a member of the Chico (CA) Feminist Women's Health Center's board of directors, not to mention Asner and Chomsky, signed on to an updated Communist Manifesto, which includes such choice lines as "we draw inspiration from the Israeli reservists who, at great personal risk, declare 'there is a limit' and refuse to serve in the occupation of the West Bank and Gaza." What did these treason-mongers know about "great personal risk," and when did they know it?
The signers complain that in response to 9/11 the U.S. government is acting as if it had "a blank check to drop commandos, assassins, and bombs wherever it wants." As a result of this policy, "brutal repercussions have been felt from the Philippines to Palestine." Not to mention the nation's networks, where ABC and PBS are now at war.
It all started when Peter Jennings decided to exclude the charmingly macho country singer Toby Keith from an ABC July 4 show, on the grounds that his patriotic renditions make too many of the ladies swoon, a reaction an Islamist like Jennings feels only he should be permitted to generate and monitor. But now PBS has done Peter one better. According to a Pentagon insider, who covers the civilian sector for Enemy Central, PBS has decided to eradicate Charlie Daniels and his hit "Last Fallen Hero" from a planned tribute to those who died on 9/11 and its aftermath. Two solutions suggest themselves. Peter Jennings should be forced to make an honest woman out of Hannah Ashrawi, his former Palestinian flame. And at PBS privatization should be the order of the day. Turn the Pinko Broadcasting System over to the Armed Forces Radio Network, and let it be run by Army privates.
Breaking nine months of painful silence, the Hon. David Gergen has spoken out about the impact of 9/11. It's all in a New York Times op-ed, so you know he's serious, and deeply concerned, particularly because he knows appearing in a prestigious venue will line him up lots of lucrative speaking gigs in which to repeat his high-minded calls for sacrifice on the part of every working American. As he explains in the Times, President Bush's "adaptive leadership" has fallen short. Only he -- Gergen -- understands that we need "the creation of a new sense of purpose in our national life." Someone has to "call for common sacrifice." That means, Mr. President, tear down those tax cuts. Let "the savings be redirected toward a broad social cause like improving the lives of children." We need to make the demand for universal service universal. The president must "not only demand common sacrifice but link it to a galvanizing vision." Our idealistic youth demand and deserve nothing less. "Today's younger generation is one of the most idealistic in years." The Rev. Peter Gomes of Harvard has so informed him.
We haven't been splattered by so much mush since the day some three decades ago when a middle-aged professor in blue jeans and denim shirt appeared at an idealistic pro-Woodstock, anti-war protest to offer a public reading of "Song of Myself." Having survived this offensive Gergen offensive, our happy band at Enemy Central has been inspired to make the ultimate sacrifice and attach an EOW medal to David's bulging chest. We're confident that if the lecture circuit doesn't pan out for him, somebody at ABC or PBS will make it worth his while to sing an ode to tax hikes on their patriotic shows. Certainly Peter J. will find David G. less threatening than Toby K.
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