Enemy of the Week

America Held Hostage

The Reid Gang can ride, but it can't hide.

By 11.2.05

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Observers say they haven't seen Harry Reid so confident and happy since the last time he stepped into a brothel county in his home state of Nevada, not that he would ever engage in closed-door sessions in such surroundings. Dick Durbin, his second in command, and not someone reputed to turn down seconds, looked as if he'd just swallowed a tasty canary. His face beaming, he rubbed his tummy round and round. Sort of the same motion Chuck Schumer applies to his bald spot, in the certainty that it's a halo. A very stern gang, these Democratic leaders, hijackers, and hostage takers. Plus they engage in domestic abuse, slapping Reid's Republican counterpart across the face. It was an afternoon that will live in infamy. We have a Department of Homeland Security and it allowed something like this?

The Democrat insurgents have convinced themselves that they have slowed the nomination of Judge Samuel Alito. Hope springs infernal. In fact, they can see him confirmed now, or they can see him confirmed later. After all, he's from New Jersey. Better yet, he's really from greater Philadelphia, the most authentic part of that state. Meanwhile, these vigilantes (or lynch mob, as Senator Specter might call them) think Bush numbers are down because of Democrats like themselves. It has yet to dawn on them that the president's popularity will revive because of appointments like Alito. Conservatives have never felt more muscular. They can make George W. Bush, or they can break him -- and then put him back together again. That's the thinking.

Rosa Parks continues to unify the country. Her funeral in Detroit yesterday brought Hillary and Bill Clinton back together, if only for a moments of bliss, the most extended amount of time they've spent in each other's company since Chelsea's college graduation. Mr. Clinton continues to find it impossible to break old habits. Just last Sunday he was spotted collecting a suspiciously large check from an Asian-looking source, who upon closer inspection turned out to be teenage professional golfing sensation Michelle Wie. Mr. Clinton called Ms. Wie "an inspiration," both on and off the course. Hmmm. For her part, Wie said "it was really awesome" and "really cool to see a former president." Talk about your diamond in the rough.

In the originalist colony of Virginia, the sagging gubernatorial campaign of Jerry Kilgore received a shot in the arm when America's most admired widower this side of O.J. Simpson, Mr. Michael Schiavo, came out to endorse Mr. Kilgore's opponent, Democrat Tim Kaine. For Schiavo the last straw apparently was Kilgore's advocacy of the death penalty for Adolf Hitler, as explained in a controversial television spot last month. Joseph W. Wilson IV, Ron Reagan, and David Frum have yet to heard from. Only four days left before Election Day.

Is it true that sainted Aaron Brown has been put to pasture by CNN? Sounds like a major victory for Fox News when a rival network can no longer afford to allow a compassionate voice to be seen and heard on primetime. The news comes as a particular blow to leading liberal blogger Joshua Marshall, who might as well have been Brown's agent given all the gushing he did about him over the years. Brown now joins Judy Woodruff in the wilderness, a victim of O'Reillyization and declining standards. One thing is certain -- if Wolf Blitzer and Larry King are cut, Enemy Central will have to go back to watching al-Jazeera.

And who might we find there? Heroic defenders of the people's right not to know like David Frost, Iran's unpronounceable president who allegedly once invoked Rule 21 against American embassy personnel, Araby's best friend in America Brent Scowcroft, and now, presumably, Dingy Harry himself, who has long dreamed to be as respected as old Dirty Harry in his prime. Sorry, ain't gonna happen. As winner of this week's Enemy of the Week special election, he becomes a felon and as such loses his voting privileges. Unless of course he promises to vote a straight Democratic ticket from here on out. In some precincts that passes for cruel and unusual punishment.

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