Streetcar Line

A Wreck of a Case

The Libby obsessed Patrick Fitzgerald, in the role of Mike Nifong.

By 1.23.07

The perjury trial of Lewis "Scooter" Libby, former top aide to Vice President Dick Cheney, began this week, with prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald playing the role of Mike Nifong. With apologies to Gordon Lightfoot, then, and to the victims of a famous shipwreck, here's how the bards will tell the tale:

The legend lives on from main Justice on down
Of the thrill of the big prosecution
The "kill," it is said, gives a rush to one's head
When the perp for his sins makes ablutions.
And with yellowcake tales and reporters in jail,
Well, then, Patrick Fitzgerald sensed vict'ry.
But Fitz, the fed man, soon would get his hide tanned
When Bob Woodward did clear up the myst'ry.

Before Valerie Plame, the young Fitz had a name
As a g-man of growing distinction.
But his own lust for blood got him stuck in the mud,
And it's taking his case toward extinction.
'Twas Joe Wilson who lied, but not the Veep's side:
Scooter knew Cheney wasn't in peril.
Though the case it was lame, Pat's ambition, aflame,
Caused the wreck of the Patrick Fitzgerald.

Consider the background: When Robert Novak found
That Joe Wilson and Ms. Plame had reason
To make Cheney look bad; and that Wilson, that cad,
Had falsified his dates, times and seasons,
The Left changed the focus with some hocus pocus
About how Ms. Plame was a key spook.
But at Georgetown salons, her background was well known.
Her CIA links were an op/en book.

Yet, who leaked the name of "spy" Valerie Plame
Made the case just too big a treasure trove.
After all, thought the Left, if we give it some heft,
Perhaps we'll kill that SOB Karl Rove.
But their plans all died when Woodward took Rove's side
And the "leak" clearly was inadvertent.
But by now Fitz was hooked; if he produced no crook
Then his whole case would seem unimportant.

He hid Armitage, and he tried arbitrage:
In his market, the down side was prison.
But Miller endured, and her martyrdom cured
The press of buying Fitz's grand vision.
No underlying crime meant he'd wasted his time
And his glory nobody would herald.
The young prosecutor craved fame as his suitor
But fame wrecked Mr. Patrick Fitzgerald.

So, let Scooter go; let us call off this show:
By now, it is just a bad circus.
The case is a mess; and by now, more or less,
Patrick Fitzgerald has no good purpose.
The legend has died, and with it, the pride,
Of the Fitz who would go down in hist'ry.
'Cuz doubts rightly surged, and all perjury purged,
When Bob Woodward did clear up the myst'ry.

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About the Author
Quin Hillyer is a senior editor of The American Spectator and a senior fellow at the Center for Individual Freedom. Follow him on Twitter @QuinHillyer.