One thing we know: Sheryl Crow never went to Charmin school. The annual White House Correspondents' dinner, to be sure, attracts all sorts: presidents, senators, scribes, Comedy Central comedians, sundry Hollywood riff-raff. But Ms. Crow was the first stalker to attend, and also the first former mol of a tough hombre biker. Apparently she boxes too, landing a few jabs against Karl Rove's chest in the early rounds. Unwanted physical contact is a no-no in most public precincts. But not now, not in the era of global warming, the clear cause of many unbecoming hot flashes. It's said that Ms. Crow sings. Let's be honest, if speciesist: She caws.
It seems everyone's on a charm offensive these days. Ms. Crow's sidekick, the estimable Ms. Laurie David, still holding out for a pontiff named Pope Prius, has graciously agreed not to file a lawsuit against Mr. Rove, whose magnetism had attracted her to his side from across a very crowded room. Besides, like any self-respecting liberated La-La Landian of the female persuasion, she relies on men to do her serious work. That's where Henry Waxman, her congressperson, comes in, loaded for bear and overflowing with subpoenas, most every one of them engraved with Karl Rove's name. It's a hoary ritual going back at least to the days of Joseph Stalin, a committed believer in public accountability and the settling of scores.
News flash: According to the new Wall Street Journal/NBC poll, former Senator John Edwards now enjoys 20 percent support in his race for the Democratic presidential nomination, a 5 point increase in one short month. So it was worth it for him to invest $400 on a visit to his hair doctor. Yet if he went to the trouble to have his hair done, why didn't he attend the Correspondents' dinner -- was there no room at the Breck table?
Harry Reid remains a lost soul. Lacking in Sheryl and Laurie's charisma, he's learning the hard way that the First Amendment doesn't protect everyone who hides behind it. Now everybody is ganging up on him, including the dean of D.C. journalists, David Broder, who told the Bob Edwards Show, "I think at some point down the road the Democrats are going to have to have a little caucus and decide how much further they want to carry Harry Reid...." and agreed that Reid is an "embarrassment to Democrats." Which is exactly what Nancy Pelosi told Bashar Assad and what Bashar Assad told Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and what Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was all set to tell Don Imus, except Don Imus wasn't there.
Dean Broder must have had something to do with that too, particularly after the severe scolding he gave fellow journalists who had deigned to appear on the Imus show despite its emanating from the sewers. In fact, said Mr. Broder, "I was stunned to learn how many of the journalists I admire had been regular guests on the program." Where was Mr. Broder all this time? Let's let him explain: "I had never heard Imus's broadcast, because I am a longtime fan of NPR's 'Morning Edition,' which is on at the same time." David may be pushing 80, but he's the sweetest, most innocent man in Washington.
Which is more than we can say about our next gray eminences. On PBS last night, the Rev. Bill Moyers, who topped off his career several years ago when he was arrested for "negligent" driving under the influence, threw his remaining empty bottles at the mediocrities in the liberal media who failed to resist the movement toward war in Iraq. Pleading guiltiest was Dan Rather, who, plagiarizing from the Media Research Center's many tributes to him, told Moyers: "I don't think there is any excuse for my performance...." Gee, Dan, if you hadn't been so hard on Saddam in the interview you conducted with him at his palace back in late February 2002, the world would be a better place. Remember when you were asked, "Are you satisfied with [the] translation?" and you replied: "Yes, no, the translation is excellent. It's superb."
Another Enemy Central first -- fella' comes out of retirement and promptly clinches EOW prize. Dan, you're gonna have a lot of 'splainin' to do to Harry and Laurie and Sheryl and Bill.
Send your Enemy of the Week nominations to Enemy Central c/o firstname.lastname@example.org.
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