Political Hay

Declaration of Independence (From Liberals)

We hold these truths -- about liberals -- to be self-evident.

By 7.5.07

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When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident -- yea, even in the Year of our Lord 2007 -- that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, and not from judicial activists who serve at their pleasure.

The history of the present leaders of the Democratic Party is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over these United States. To prove this, let the facts be submitted to a candid world.

They have refused their assent to laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good; ignominiously ignoring election regulations in the states of New Jersey and Florida.

They have refused to pass other laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those districts pledge allegiance to them in perpetuity.

They have called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant, or fled from them into neighboring states when necessary.

They have disrespected Conservative representatives repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness their invasions on the rights of the people.

They have endeavoured to expand the population of certain states; and for that purpose obstructing the laws for naturalization of foreigners; refusing to pass others to discourage their migrations hither.

They have obstructed the administration of justice by refusing their assent to laws for the confirmation of judiciary powers, as enumerated under the U.S. Constitution.

They have erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither swarms of officers to harass our people and eat out their substance and have kept among us, in times of peace, standing armies of bureaucrats without our consent.

They have attempted to render the military irrelevant to and devoid of the affections of the civilian power.

They have imposed income taxes on us in opposition to our Founders' intent.

They have combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our Constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving their assent to their acts of immoral legislation:

For depriving us, as in the case of Terri Schiavo, of the benefit of trial by jury:

For diminishing our Constitution, abolishing our most valuable laws and altering fundamentally the limited forms of our governments:

For superseding our own legislatures and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever, enacting law from the bench, without the consent of the governed.

They have excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and have enabled the emergence on our shores of merciless Islamist savages, whose known rule of warfare is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

They have given appeasement to our enemies by protecting them with mock trials, from punishment for any murders which they should commit on the inhabitants of these States.

They have plundered our private property, ravaged our educational system, disparaged our history, and demoralized the very lives of our people by discouraging public worship of the almighty and merciful Sovereign of the universe.

In every stage of these oppressions we have petitioned for redress in the most humble terms: our repeated petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A party whose character is thus marked by every act which may define tyranny, is therefore unfit to participate in the governance of a free and moral people.

Nor have we been wanting in attentions to our Republican brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their moderates to extend their agenda over us. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We may someday, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity which denounces our separation and hold them, as we hold liberals; enemies in war, in peace friends.

We, therefore, the Conservatives of the United States of America, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by authority of the good people of these red states, solemnly publish and declare, that we are, and of right ought to be, free and independent from liberals; that we are absolved from all cooperation with the Democratic Party, and that all political connection between them and us, is and ought to be, totally dissolved.

And that as a free and independent people, we have full power to levy war, pursue peace through victory, worship God, and to do all other acts and things which the United States was founded to do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.

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About the Author

Lisa Fabrizio is a columnist who hails from Connecticut (mailbox@lisafab.com).