The Nation's Pulse

Happy Days

Prosperity is right around the corner.

By 11.12.08

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We have just witnessed an historical election to be sure. Not because we have sent a black man to the seat of power, but because a fortuitous confluence of economic occurrences has convinced our fellow citizens that a change in leadership was necessary.

A great many Americans apparently believe -- not without the help of the liberal media -- that despite the fact that Democrats have controlled both houses of Congress for the past two years, those reptilian Republicans are responsible for our current economic woes.

Add to this the virtual browbeating meted out to the racist, hate-mongering Americans who dread an Obama presidency and the notion that those who fear socialism have made a virtue out of greed, and you've got a pretty gloomy group of conservatives out there.

And more than one naysayer has lamented that our present economic situation is as bad as or even worse than the days of the Great Depression. And just as Democrats blamed corporate greed for the problem back then, their current solutions are frighteningly similar: giveaways, higher taxes, over-regulation and the strengthening of labor unions. We can only fret as we recall how well that worked out the first time.

But not to worry, good folks. Prosperity, as a fellow Republican once said, is just around the corner, because now as then we will have a beneficent Democrat to rule us. So, with apologies to lyricist Jack Yellen, take heart, because happy days will soon be here again:
 
Bitter clingers, far-right wingers,
We are rid of you at last.

Greedy bankers, oil tankers,
You are now a thing of the past…

Happy days are here again;
The skies are free of clouds and rain;
We have banished snow and hurricane.
Happy days are here again!

Hail we now the holy one;
The former poor and lowly son;
For the battle now is wholly won;
Happy days are here again!

We have no fear of McCain;
We've found a man with a brain.

Peace and love will flow once more;
They'll be no need to go to war;
We have got the guy our foes adore;
Happy days are here again!

Joyful tunes will fill the air;
As Earth intones a thankful prayer;
That a nuanced Yank is in the chair;
Happy days are here again!

Those Russian tanks will turn back,
When faced by saintly Barack.
   
Plenitude will soon arrive;
The GNP can't fail to thrive;
Because price-controls we'll soon revive;
Happy days are here again!

Thankfulness shall be profound;
As hymns of praise and joy resound,
While we spread the common wealth around;
Happy days are here again!

Our bills and taxes are nil;
A boon from Capitol Hill.

Righteous times are coming fast;
As cowboy chic has been outcast;
Chicken hawks and Shrub are in the past;
Happy days are here again!

Fraud and vice will be unseen;
The White House air will be pristine;
Save a trace of latent nicotine;
Happy days are here again.

With one grand pass of his wand,
O's rent the Rovian bond.

Cheer the man of history;
His greatness is no mystery;
He's the cause of glee and bliss for thee.

Happy times
Happy nights
Happy days
Are here again!

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About the Author

Lisa Fabrizio is a columnist who hails from Connecticut (mailbox@lisafab.com).