Media Matters

Yes, It Does

CNN really does suck lemons.

By 4.20.09

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"CNN Sucks."

Sure, there were more clever signs at Tax Day tea parties around the country. Some were clutched by indebted children. Others made "pox on both (political party) houses" statements. And there were the required bailout bashes.

But no sign I spotted at any Lipton-lobbing rant fest summed up the nationwide sentiment like the one I saw on Fox News' "Hannity" program Wednesday night from Atlanta.

The poster scribe could have condemned any other media formerly known as mainstream. He (or a brash she) could have written "MSNBC Sucks," but what's so bold about stating the obvious? He could have scratched out "USA Today Sucks," for promoting their love for big government, but the McPaper's crosswords are pretty good. He could have stated "the Journal-Constitution Sucks," but why disrespect the dead?

Or he could have raised awareness about crappy individual reporters like the Denver Post's Mark Jaffe, or the Washington Post's Kari Lydersen, or any New York Times journaleftist, for they all inhale deeply. But they are too obscure.

Instead mallet mashed spike precisely in the Peach State capital, where CNN Sucks resides. That the bold pronouncement was held aloft where an aerial Fox camera could capture the sentiment was perfect. Recent days have confirmed it:

• At 4:00 p.m. Thursday as the nation was still abuzz with the tea party aftermath, the CNN Sucks homepage had zero (except for their lame citizen iReports) stories about the gatherings. Instead they featured an oversized photo of Mrs. Bates with a story about Mexican drug gangs.

• At the same time Cable sNooze Network highlighted its Twitter war with That 70s Show star Ashton Kutcher. How fitting that the actor won.

• And as April 15 approached former Clintonista Paul Begala posted an inane, Biden-esque commentary about how patriotic it is to pay taxes. "This country has showered me with the blessings of liberty. So what do I owe my country in return? Paying my fair share of taxes, it seems, is the least I can do."

• Meanwhile empty-suited Anderson Cooper fulfilled dreams of one-day fitting in with dreamboat Keith Olbermann on MSNBC, as he cracked gay-themed "teabagger" jokes about the events. Put this pair's viewer ratings together and they might one day come close to Fox's 5:00 p.m. show hosted by Glenn Beck.

And then there's reporter Susan Roesgen. I'd never heard of anyone with that last name before – much less heard of you, Susan Roesgen – but thank you so much for unveiling your scorn while playing tea party in Chicago. You made yourself famous by demonstrating what a poor playmate you are and thus how much CNN really does suck. You recited the JournoList script admirably, but unfortunately for you pulled the short straw at the assignment desk, and thus your performance was judged before a nation of tax-resisting Simon Cowells. Sorry, no save for you this week.

While activists exercised their outspokenness against big spending, overtaxing, and over-regulating government, Susan Roesgen (thumbs up for Bush-Hitler; thumbs down for Obama-Hitler), Anderson Teabagger and even Ashton Kutcher helped them achieve a milestone that most of them don't realize. It's that the media formerly known as mainstream has seen its re-categorization completed. MSNBC, the New York Times, and other mainstream outlets joined CNN Sucks in either dissing or disregarding the tea party protests' newsworthiness. They now belong with semi-known far left publications such the Nation, Mother Jones, and American Prospect.

Glad you confirmed it, Susan Roesgen.

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About the Author

Paul Chesser publishes CarolinaPlottHound.com, a news aggregator for North Carolina, and is a contributor of articles, research and investigative reports for both national and state-level free-market think tanks.