Among the Intellectualoids

Crabs vs. Kochs

The Lefties continue to think that millions (of dollars) can buy millions (of freedom lovers).

By 8.31.10

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The sometimes organized Left has caught on to the big dirty secret about the Tea Parties and it is now blasting the news all over its blogs and media outlets: that conservative patrons exercise total mind and body dominion.

Look, for example, at the weekend's Lincoln Memorial rally hosted by Glenn Beck (from whom they take their cues). Somehow the coercive Astroturf effect of Americans for Prosperity and FreedomWorks made hundreds of thousands of people -- from all over the country -- appear suddenly in Washington. They spilled off the steps of the Memorial past the Vietnam War Wall, the Korean War Memorial, the Reflecting Pool, the World War II Memorial, and onto the hill in front of the Washington Monument. As leftists like the New York Times' Frank Rich and the New Yorker's Jane Mayer reported, the billionaire private oil profiteers Charles and David Koch enabled AFP/FW to make it all happen.

You see, the Kochs have lots of money -- intoxicating, limb-controlling gobs of it. With it they lured those flag-waving lawn chair-toters onto planes and buses from all over the South and Midwest to head to the nation's capital. These zombies, after enduring long lines to obtain their Metro farecards, then rode the subway to the Mall where they could congregate in the August heat for several hours and listen to Beck talk about God. And everyone knows that's the message the Big Oil Kochs are paying for everyone to hear.

But it's pretty hard to put a good conspiracy like that over the deep-thinking Left, especially the environmentalist ones -- at least for very long. Now nearly all of them have caught on to the scheme: Greenpeace, Center for American Progress, Media Matters for America, Mother Jones, the Rockefeller Brothers Fund, MSNBC, among many others -- oh, and the White House too: 

Right now all around this country there are groups with harmless-sounding names like Americans for Prosperity, who are running millions of dollars of ads against Democratic candidates all across the country. And they don't have to say who exactly the Americans for Prosperity are. You don't know if it's a foreign-controlled corporation. You don't know if it's a big oil company, or a big bank. 

Yes, the liberals are too smart for us. Their strategy to expose their political opponents as tools of Big Oil has been a smashing success, as the Washington Post reported on Sunday:

A year ago, these groups seemed to be at the peak of their influence, needing only the Senate's approval for a landmark climate-change bill. But they lost that fight, done in by the sluggish economy and opposition from business and fossil-fuel interests.

Now the groups are wondering how they can keep this loss from becoming a rout as their opponents press their advantage and try to undo the Obama administration's climate efforts. At two events last week in Wisconsin, environmental groups seemed to be trying two strategies: defiance and pleading for sympathy.

Neither one drew enough people to fill a high school gym.

The Badger State would seem as good a place as any to press the anti-"Big Oil Billions" message, which the environmentalists have employed for a long time now. But despite the tens of billions of dollars of their own they've had at their disposal in the climate debate, they have nothing to show in either legislation or public support. Gallup says Al Gore is losing the global warming debate and Pew poll found that Americans believe global warming is the lowest priority political issue of the 20 they asked respondents to rank.

Don't know why the average citizen would feel this way about environmentalists and their message:

…In Milwaukee, the CarnivOil -- put on by Clean Energy Works -- took a different tack.

Instead of holding out hope for a climate bill, they declared it dead and tried to blame the oil and gas industry for killing it.

"The message to folks outside of Washington is that, while they're not paying attention, big oil's having a carnival in Washington," Clean Energy Works' Di Martino said. "Anything and everything that threatens their business model, they're able to stop. And the message to people is to wake up."

Every few minutes, there would be a fight. The person in the crab costume -- said to be boxing on behalf of the environment -- would take on the fake oil executive. Each bout followed the same script: The oil executive would bribe the referee, who would make the crab take off his boxing gloves.

Soon after, the crab would be lying on the mat, KO'd.

"Oh! The Earth is down! It's taken too many hits!" yelled "ref" Scott Thompson. "Remember, folks, just like in the real world, big oil always gets the upper hand!"

So Big Environment gets billions so they can stage "CarnivOils" with guys in crab suits, while organizations like Americans for Prosperity and FreedomWorks use their resources to build a voluntary movement for freedom.

Yep, hard to believe Americans are buying it, whether it's the Kochs or some other blokes helping transport the willing masses. 

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About the Author

Paul Chesser publishes CarolinaPlottHound.com, a news aggregator for North Carolina, and is a contributor of articles, research and investigative reports for both national and state-level free-market think tanks.