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Cheap Savage, Dear Prudence

It gets better, we hope.

By 5.4.12

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Americans used to ask advice from bluestockings named Prudence. Now we seek guidance from an unbalanced guy named Savage. Only a barbarian would miss the symbolism.

“We can learn to ignore the bulls--- in the Bible about gay people the same way we have learned to ignore the bulls--- in the Bible about shellfish, about slavery, about dinner, about farming, about menstruation, about virginity, about masturbation,” Dan Savage, a professional homosexual and amateur theologian, explained to high school journalists last month.

The National High School Journalism Conference invited the advice columnist to speak to fledgling Fourth Estaters in Seattle. Savage told the teenagers about how enticing his husband looked in a speedo. He cursed. He claimed that Republicans want to stone brides who aren’t virgins. And he likened the Bible to animal excrement.  

When dozens of teenagers reached their fill of abuse, they didn’t rush the podium, shout down the speaker, or burn his books (all experiences I’ve endured with student audiences). They quietly left the auditorium. They’re Christians, not extremist Muslims, after all—a fact the speaker no doubt considered when preparing his remarkable remarks.

 Savage should have apologized to his captive audience, a few of whom had the sense to make a jailbreak. Instead, he doubled-down on dumb. “It’s funny, as someone who’s been on the receiving end of beatings that are justified by the Bible, how pansy-assed some people react when you push back,” he said of the door-going departed. In non sequitur fashion, he announced: “I have a right to defend myself.”

From what?

Savage has a show on MTV. He’s been a feted (fetid?) guest at the White House. His preachy “Savage Love” advice column remains a staple of free city newspapers and hipster webzines.

But persecution is his profession, so he plays the martyr even when he picks on fifteen-year-old Christian girls.

It gets better. Savage, along with his husband, founded the anti-bullying organization “It Gets Better.”

A half-million have taken their pledge: “Everyone deserves to be respected for who they are. I pledge to spread this message to my friends, family and neighbors. I’ll speak up against hate and intolerance whenever I see it, at school and at work. I’ll provide hope for lesbian, gay, bi, transgender and other bullied teens by letting them know that ‘It Gets Better.’”

Did Savage cross his fingers when he took the pledge?

Consider the advice columnist’s mean-spirited, high-volume gossip that a prominent moderate Republican prefers the company of gentlemen to his lady. “And if [that politician] killed himself tomorrow? Would I feel bad? Nope. Because [he] is not the victim here, he’s the victimizer—he’s a brute, a man who has more than earned an outing.”

It’s worth noting that he directs this dehumanizing vitriol not at a Moral Majority mainstay, but a champion of “inclusiveness” to the Left of every Republican candidate who sought the presidential nomination this cycle. In fantasizing about the death of a person he believes to be homosexual, Savage strangely keeps company with Westboro Baptist Church parishioners and other homophobic cretins.

Like most bullies, Dan Savage externalizes his self-esteem issues. He crusades against intolerant bullies and self-righteous preachers. He is what he hates. The flipside to the golden rule is that if you treat yourself abominably you will treat others abominably, too.

When Savage shames political enemies by outing their homosexuality, or transforms Rick Santorum’s last name into a word for the residue left after gay sex, he exhibits his self-torment for all to see.

If gay is good, why associate it with all that you find bad?

Dan Savage doesn’t have issues with Christians, Republicans, or bullies. Dan Savage has issues with Dan Savage.

Love thyself. The rest will follow.

Sexually adventurous correspondents write Savage more for affirmation than advice. The dispenser of advice would be better off seeking it, and from one with more discretion and judgment and less brutality and viciousness.

In other words, he could use more Prudence, less Savage.

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About the Author
Daniel J. Flynn, the author of The War on Football: Saving America’s Game, edits Breitbart Sports.