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Tom Terrific
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Sports Arena
Will Welker Walk?
The Patriots and their wide receiver will have to get open quickly.
(Page 2 of 2)
Nevertheless, salary caps are relatively flat this year and it may be hard for Welker to get the money he wants — and probably could have commanded last year — on the open market. There are a number of quality free agent wide receivers out there, and Anquan Boldin and Percy Harvin could soon join them.
From the Patriots’ perspective, the risk is that the cupboard is bare at wide receiver. The Patriots likely need to acquire another wideout even if Welker stays, especially if the team decides not to pick up Brandon Lloyd’s $3 million option after a good but not great 2012 season. If Lloyd goes, special teamer Matthew Slater is the only receiver with game experience still under contract. Slater has one career reception.
Without Welker, the team will likely have to spend considerable money at the receiver position anyway. Having some combination of tight end Aaron Hernandez and wide receiver Julian Edelman replace Welker is risky, because neither player has been as durable. Ditto tight end Rob Gronkowski, a monster on the field who has been injured at critical moments of the last two seasons.
Edelman’s return isn’t guaranteed either. He is a free agent and there have been reports of talks with the Cleveland Browns. Danny Woodhead, the Pats’ top pass-catching running back, is also a free agent. Tight end Jake Ballard sat out last season and is coming off a serious knee injury.
The Patriots could use speedster who can take the top off defenses even with Welker. If they rely on Welker substitutes, like any of the above mentioned or the St. Louis Rams’ Danny Amendola, they will have no choice but to bid for a deep threat with a high price tag.
This is what sets up the one scenario where things may get out of hand, causing Welker to leave the team. If Welker tests the waters too long, the Patriots will have to make moves in free agency that account for his departure. That may further reduce what they are willing to pay Welker. Maybe that knowledge brings him back to the table faster. Maybe it causes him to go elsewhere.
Welker’s detractors emphasize his inopportune drops, which can be explained by the team asking him to do too much. It remains to be seen whether Welker becomes one of the Patriots’ unfortunate drops himself.
Photo: UPI
About the Author
W. James Antle, III, author of the new book Devouring Freedom: Can Big Government Ever Be Stopped?, is editor of the Daily Caller News Foundation and a senior editor of The American Spectator. You can follow him on Twitter @jimantle.
Letter to the Editor View all comments (275) | Leave a comment
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Derek Leaberry| 3.11.13 @ 8:21AM
Although there are risks for the Patriots if Welker walks, Welker risks his legacy and perhaps a spot in the Hall of Fame. Duplication of Welker's recent seasons puts him over 1000 catches in three seasons while a move to another NFL squad will probably expose his limitations. For example, does Welker want to finish out his career for the Houston Texans and catch 60 balls a year?
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JimP| 3.11.13 @ 11:14AM
I hope Welker stays in NE. I think he'd be making a mistake to simply go for the money. How do you put a price on a combination like Brady, Welker and Bellichik's system. They really, really click, as we used to say. It's great to watch and must be infinitely more satisfying, and FUN, to be WW in that system than say, WW at KC or Houston or even GB.
BTW, I think you are too hard on Cassel. Yeah he definitely benefited from the system, but so did/does Brady. No QB would be any good in KC the last, what, ten years? Longer? I can't even remember. Wasn't Schottenheimer there the last time they won? That's AFH now. Poor Cassel. He went for the dough and playing must not be much fun since 2008. Especially now that everyone including his management dogs him all the time. He mighta' been somebody if he'd stuck around awhile longer. Now he's just beat up and everyone calls him a bum.
Don't go, Wes. You'll get paid more if you leave, but enjoy it less.
W. James Antle III | 3.11.13 @ 9:04PM
I don't think Cassel is a bum at all. He deserves credit for solid play when he stepped in for Brady in 2008 and he led the Kansas City Chiefs to the playoffs just two years later, winning the AFC West.
But I do think it's fair to say there was a drop-off in play from Brady to Cassel. The Patriots went 11-5 with Cassel at the helm, but the AFC East got to play very weak AFC West and NFC West divisions that year.
Those two divisions accounted for 7 of the Patriots' 11 wins that year, with the other 4 coming from inside the AFC East. Playoff-caliber defenses that hadn't been a problem for Brady just the year before, with most of the same offensive skill players Cassel had at his disposal, manhandled them.
Cassel's a fine quarterback when he plays with a top-flight offensive coordinator.
Bandido| 3.11.13 @ 11:18AM
Welker's best days are behind him. He's taken a beating over the years. The Patriots are probably letting him test, because, although they would like to keep him, they know the player well and will not overspend for his diminishing skills. Their outlook is, better to lose a good player a year too early rather than a year too late.
RAM| 3.11.13 @ 4:52PM
...or with Andew Luck
hrgfue | 3.11.13 @ 10:15PM
Which is the best blog for us.we are enjoy it and will show them to everyone.
homme nike air max BW | 3.12.13 @ 5:35AM
This year the franchise tag was too rich for Welker or any of the team’s other top free agents, even after Brady restructured and extended http://www.shoxinfr.com/ his contract to free up more salary cap space. It is unwise to devote too much cap space to any one player, as it will handcuff the team from making other necessary moves.
TLP| 3.13.13 @ 3:47PM
"Would you like to play a game?" (War Games)
The Sequester. What is it? Is it an agreement, put forth by this President, to set up a Baseline of Cuts, should He, and Congress, fail to reach an agreement on The Fiscal Cliff?
Or, was it always intended to be a CRISES, that was too good to Waste? Even though Everybody Knows that it was this President's Idea? He continues to LIE, and Blame it on everybody else.
Think: Liar Liar. The 1997 Movie starring John Carrey, who was Forced to tell the Truth, the whole Truth, and nothing but the Truth, because of a Blow Out The Candles Birthday Wish by his Son, who got Screwed, one time to many, by his Father - Jim Carrey.
With that premise in mind? Now picture the exact opposite.
This man would lie, if the question was: Are you the President of the United States?
He lied about taking Federal Matching Funds, in 2008. He lied about putting all new Legislation up on the Web for 72 Hours, before a Vote. He lied about holding all Obamacare Negotiations on CSpan. He lied about Reverend Wright, Louis Farrakhan, and Bill Ayers. He had his Cabinet members Forge Documents to a Federal Judge about the BR Oil Spill, and he lied about Fast and Furious. He's guilty of a Lie of Ommission, by not releasing his Sealed Records. And, he lied about everything that happened in Benghazi.
And, now he Lies about Sequestration.
Moe Blotz| 3.15.13 @ 8:14AM
You misspelled BP.
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 12:55PM
You spelled "BJ" wrong.
Joellen| 3.15.13 @ 3:34PM
Tim, I cant seem to grasp this "you spelled...." wrong - cause I'm never quite sure when I've spelled something right.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 7:59AM
It's okay, Joellen.
It's just a sophomoric joke from a sophomoric guy.
The "words" that are misspelled are made up.
TLP| 3.13.13 @ 3:48PM
He said that he had nothing to do with Sequestration, right up to and even after Jay Carney caved and told the truth.
He said that the $85 Billion in Cuts would Devistated the very fabric of everything we hold dear in this Country. Police, Fire Departments, Teachers and First Responders would have to be let go.
He lied.
The real number was $44 Billion and all of those Indespencible Personell are State Employees, not Federal Government Employees.
We couldn't send out Carriers. Troops could no longer be Trained. And the the lines to get on a plane were gonna be Insufferable.
Why, even the White House Tours had to end, because they couldn't afford it, anymore.
But, he had nothing to do with any of it. After all. He's just the President. And if we don't raise Taxes on the Rich, again? We will cease to be The United States of America.
Then, and against all odds, something happened that rarely happens with a Democrat President.
The Truth began to surface.
First, it was an Email to the Agriculture Dept. that was leaked. The Email instructed everyone in every Department to Stick to the Talking Points. It instructed all Depertmants not to say anything that would part with the Official Story. ie - Stick to the Party Lie.
Next, it was Jay Carney, wilting under the Kleeg Lights and Admitting that the ending of The White House Tours came Directly from the White House, putting the Lie to President Liar's denunciations of any Knowledge of the White House Tours Elimination.
TLP| 3.13.13 @ 3:51PM
The game goes like this: I've given you a Story that's out there in the News, as well as a Movie Analogy of a similar situation.
Your job is to come up with an Analogy of your own. It doesn't have to be a Movie. It can be a Play. It can be a Poem, a Song Parody, a Show Tune, a Joke, or something from John Navritil's stack of Jack Mags.
Keep it clean. Keep it Polite. This is not a place for Anger, Divisiveness, or Anger.
If you wanna disagree? By all means, disagree.
Just do it using an Analogy.
We fight and scrape all week long. This is a time for fun, and to leave all of our Animosities behind.
We'll be open all weekend long.
The winners will recieve all of Ross' Credit Card Numbers, as well as his Home Address, Phone Number, and the Third World Leper Colony that he'll be going to this year on Vacation with his Family.
The losers will get a list of everyone on the site who has been arrested for Indecent Exposure and Urinating in Public.
Good Luck.
Have Fun.
And, be safe out there.
TLP| 3.14.13 @ 8:38AM
The intro is long because we were SUPPOSED TO BE someplace else this Weekend, and I was expecting "Guests".
Also......If the whole "Opposite of Jim Carrey in Liar Liar" isn't your cup of tea?
Think of His Majesty's lying sack a Shitt performance during this whole Sequester Kabuke Dance, as The Opposite of the Multi-Platinum Award Winning Episode for the Ages of Dukes of Hazzard, where Boss Hoss was given Sodium Pentothal and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't Tell a Lie.
Evidently, there's another Drug out there that has the Polar Opposite effect that Sodium Pentothal produces, and this THING in the White House has an unlimited supply of it.
Al Adab| 3.15.13 @ 2:34PM
TLP:
Sawadee Krup. I just reviewed yesterdays thread and saw your most generous offer. I appreciate the gesture very much but will pass since mostly I just played golf for 6 mos in Bagio. A year ago next month I lost an old friend who landed on the beaches of Okinawa. He earned every bit of it.
Joellen| 3.15.13 @ 3:33PM
Al Adab - thank you for your kind words the other day; may your dear friend be at rest with our Lord & Savior this moment and may your heart and memories of him bring you peace.
Al Adab| 3.15.13 @ 4:33PM
Thank you Joellen. Have a wonderful weekend.
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 3:57PM
I just cleaned up my Golf Bag, and made myself a new Putter.
FORE!
Al Adab| 3.15.13 @ 4:35PM
Tim:
Maybe when we get around to having that AmSpec blogger convention we could get in 18. Thanks again for the offer and have a great weekend.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 5:10PM
tpennell4@comcast.net
Give me your Mailing Address and your Shirt Size, and I'll get you that Veterans Shirt out this week.
Red, White, or Blue.
You won't regret it.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.14.13 @ 9:36AM
Since Thursday is the new Friday, I'll make my first entry.
Since the contest this week is about the consequences of being caught in a lie, I’d like to start with “Some Like It Hot”. For those unfamiliar with the classic comedy filmed during the 1950s, a pair of musicians (Joe and Jerry-played by Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon) in Chicago during the Roaring 20s accidentally observe a St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, and are forced to flee before the mob can eliminate them. As the gangsters are watching the train and bus stations, the musicians impersonate women and join a female orchestra en route to Florida to make their escape.
Joe becomes Josephine and Jerry becomes Daphne. On the train, Joe becomes smitten with Sugar, another member in the band, who is played by Marilyn Monroe. After the band arrives in Miami, in order to pursue his affections with his band mate, Joe/Josephine adopts a third persona, pretending to be a Cary Grant sounding millionaire known as Junior.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.14.13 @ 9:37AM
Sugar falls for the ruse, after Joe/Josephine as Junior manages to sneak aboard a yacht to woo her; whereas the real yacht-owning eccentric millionaire, Osgood Fielding, falls in love with Daphne. Meanwhile, the gangsters seeking to murder the witnesses wind up at the same hotel in Miami, attending a national syndicate meeting, where they are murdered, but only after they detect their targets in their midst. After an epic chase, they escape from the dock at the hotel, taking a speedboat to Osgood’s yacht. En route, Jerry/Daphne confesses his ineligibility to marry, but his betrothed in unfazed. As he reveals that he is in fact a man, Osgood opines “well, no one’s perfect”.
This film seems in many ways perfect for this administration, though. Not only does it start in Chicago, and features its gangster way of doing business, but it is about a Big Lie begetting more lies. Of course, with the normalization of gay marriage being thrust upon the country, soon the context of the closing line will likely be lost on future generations.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.14.13 @ 9:38AM
I’d like to think of Obama in the Tony Curtis role of Joe/Josephine/Junior, with Jerry/Daphne representing Biden and the rest of the administration. The massacre they witness is Benghazi, and the fake identities as women is the pretext that the the deaths were caused by a spontaneous demonstration caused by rage over a video trailer no one had seen, rather than a planned attack by a resurgent al Qaeda that they had been describing as defeated and on the run. The fake millionaire identity is the pretext that Obama puts over on the low information voters (played by Marilyn Monroe) in convincing them that he is an outsider running to fix the economy instead of the schemer who is worsening it. Osgood Fielding represents the limousine left, willing to finance destruction of societal convention to satisfy their own impulses and cravings.
The best that we can hope for is that we assume the role of Osgood’s unseen mother, who has sufficient resources to clean up whatever mess he helps generate. Worse case scenario: we wind up as victims of the next massacre (though in the sequel, it would likely be Obama and his cohorts wielding the tommy guns).
TLP| 3.14.13 @ 3:36PM
And I thought my Wizard of Oz analogy was the best one ever.
I can't wait to meet you.
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 9:58AM
And, by "Meet You" I mean: Borrow Money from you.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 10:16AM
I pay all debts, public and private, in Pad Thai and Singha Beer.
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 11:16AM
But I need Chicken Feet!
AuH2O Girl| 3.15.13 @ 12:35PM
You spelled meat wrong
SUBVET| 3.15.13 @ 9:26AM
Jr. ........wonder if JFK thought Sugar was a good lay ?
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 9:54AM
Can you imagine?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 9:59AM
I'm guessing not; otherwise, why would he let his little brother have a shot, too.
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 11:16AM
I guess he loved his little brother.
SUBVET| 3.15.13 @ 11:27AM
In the Navy that's known as a port & starboard keep it in the family.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 1:54PM
I thought that was why JFK made RFK Attorney General (but I guess each year has both a Christmas and a birthday).
Joellen| 3.15.13 @ 3:40PM
Excellen Albert - however, since Hillary was actually in charge during Benghazi she could play either Curtis or Lemon au natural.
Kwan| 3.15.13 @ 3:51PM
I’d like to think of Obama in the Tony Curtis role of Joe/Josephine/Junior.....As long as we're on the subject of which Flaming Drag Queen most closely resembles Flaming Drag Queen Obama let me suggest Flaming Drag Queen RuPaul whose melanin pigmentation is a closer match-up to Flaming Drag Queen Obama then Flaming Drag Queens Josephine/Curtis, Purp, or Awnie.
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 3:59PM
Since you mention it?
Has anyone seen Bathhouse Boy and Ru Paul together, at the same time?
Kwan| 3.15.13 @ 7:39PM
Has anyone seen Bathhouse Boy and Ru Paul together, at the same time?....Not to my knowledge. Then there is that unsettling report that Michele was observed kissing a RuPaul look-a-like on a beach in Hawaii. And an earlier report that after indoctrinating a young Barack in Marxist ideology, Frank Marshall Davis performed another type of indoctrination that included a 10 gallon bucket of K-Y Jelly.
TLP| 3.14.13 @ 4:38PM
I can't wait til Friday.
R Martin| 3.14.13 @ 10:23PM
You don't have to wait. My entry is the Obama ad, “The Life of Julia”.
A well-known lie from start to finish which needs no further analogical explanation. Now, if the judges think this entry is a bit brief for serious consideration, may I remind them we live in the Democrat age of Socialist equality where literary one percenters are to be cut down to the size of the rest of us. Accordingly, my entry and Constantine’s should be added together and averaged out. Therefore, his 540 word “Some Like It Hot” entry becomes a less verbose 272 words and mine gains 268 pearls of wisdom only the Womyns Department at UD could conceive. It’s only fair.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.14.13 @ 11:06PM
I believe the Obama Administration's Fairness Czar would also approve.
CJW| 3.15.13 @ 6:48AM
R Martin
Obama may take up your proposal to have a progressive tax on ideas and comments to "spread the wealth" of such ideas to those not fortunate in life's lottery of ideas.
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 8:46AM
First of all......You spelled "Anal Sex" wrong.
And, secondly.......You actually counted every word in Albert's fantastic rendition of whatever the hell he wrote? That's dedication to your Craft.
A person, whom some claim was a better Writer than I am (something I think we all know is a big buncha Bullshit) once said that Brevity is the Soul of Wit. And, what you have Entered here is definately Full of Wit. And, so are You.
Seriously.....Well Done.
We are off to a Helluva Start.
I hope I didn't Misspell anything.
What say you (_!_) ?
TLP| 3.14.13 @ 7:05PM
I can't believe nobody's here, but me and Albert.
I know that I said: Tomorrow.
But that's never stopped you guys, before.
Where's (_!_) ?
Moe Blotz| 3.15.13 @ 8:21AM
National Pi Day required my full attention and I was celebrating with a slice of raisin pie. ( _!_ )
Moe Blotz| 3.15.13 @ 8:22AM
Damned spacing. ( _!_ )
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 12:06PM
Hey Moe!
(_!!_)
Would this be the emoticon one would use if someone just tore you a new one?
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 2:23PM
Nice one.
Moe Blotz| 3.16.13 @ 7:30AM
Sorry Al, but no. That one looks more like you and Timmy side by side. Tearing a new one for me would look like ( + ).
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 8:03AM
Don'tcha mean ( O ) ?
Moe Blotz| 3.16.13 @ 10:31AM
When I am speaking, yes.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 8:42AM
Actually, it presents a good image of this half-assed administration...
7-08| 3.14.13 @ 7:11PM
Can't be here tomorrow.
My sincerest apologies to Eskimo Nell…….
Gather ‘round, all ye girthy!
Gather ‘round and hear my story!
When a man grows old, and belly grows bold,
No tip can he possibly view,
Far from a life of fat index strife,
He can tell you a tale or two.
So pull up a seat, and buy me a sweet
And a tale to you I will tell,
About the Jersey Gov and three term Mike,
And the dusky White House Belle.
When Jersey Gov and three term Mike,
Go forth in search of food,
It’s Jersey Gov that wields the fork,
And Mike who’s sour and rude.
When Jersey Gov and three term Mike,
Are ravenous, glycemic and sad,
It’s a Jersey Bundt that bears the brunt,
And Mike always ends up mad.
Now Jersey Gov and three term Mike,
Lived up where liberals speak,
And such was there luck, in a fast they were stuck,
For nigh on half a week.
Oh, a cruller or two, and a cheese fondue,
And a side of beef or so,
But for Jersey Gov with his kingly fork
The gluttony was mighty slow.
Gov snaps his bib with a terrible crack,
And says, “I need a munch.”
“It’s been nearly a week, my belts going slack,
I’d kill for a buffet lunch.”
So do or dare, this progressive pair,
Set off for the House of White,
Jersey Gov with his six tined fork,
And Mike with his portion sized spite.
Then as they blazed their flatulent trail,
No Deli, their path withstood.
Many a waitress, the deli’s pride,
Died bearing the weight of food.
7-08| 3.14.13 @ 7:12PM
They reached the seat of government,
At the height of a blazing noon,
One with ravenous malcontent,
The other an abstinent buffoon.
Past the reflecting pool,
Through the Garden of Rose,
To the banquet kitchen doors,
Following his nose.
The rumbling of his stomach,
And the gleam of a ravenous eye,
Proclaimed to all with aprons
You cook, you serve or you die.
Now, the cooks had heard of Jersey Gov,
From humbled kitchens past,
So with scarcely worse than a muttered curse,
They began their culinary task.
The waitresses too knew his gastronomy,
From Lobbyist legends past,
Four score strong, with some on call,
They donned and greased their skates.
When Jersey Gov lets loose his fork,
He’s got no time to spare,
His speed and load is greased with lard,
His dining a binge affair.
Helping six was a memory,
When into that waitress hell,
Strode a dusky maid who had never been weighed,
And her name was White House Belle.
Jersey Gov had got his fork,
Well into course twenty two,
When White House Belle let out a yell,
She bawled at him, “Hey you.”
He gave a twitch of his six tined fork
And a ham flew over his head,
And he wheeled about with an angry shout.
A piller of buttery spread.
She remover her sleeves, one at a time,
Like Rand upon the stage,
And as she stood in her womanhood,
Her biceps flexed with rage.
She sashayed to Three Terms table
And before he could even blink,
She snatched him up and gulped him down,
Chased by a four quart drink.
7-08| 3.14.13 @ 7:13PM
The serving wenches cleared a path,
And brought her chairs times three,
Jersey Gov would bear the wrath,
Who could eat the most? We’d see.
She flexed her jaw and stretched a bit,
And faced down the rotund Pol,
When stuffing food down her craw,
She’d perfect “gun” control.
“Here’s the bet, no run you get,
No 2016 you’ll see,
If I eat your lunch, you’ll diet forever,
And POTUS Hillary will be.”
To each a hundred Whoppers,
Appeared upon a platter,
The chef said “GO,”
No primary now would matter.
White House Belle her mandrels flexed,
No canines ever keener,
The Whoppers vanished down her maw,
Like a culinary vacuum cleaner.
Gather ‘round, all ye slim!
Gather ‘round and hear my story!
When a man is gaunt, no belly fat sought,
No carbs in the menu,
Living the life, of diet strife,
He can tell you a tale or two.
The exercise bike, it’s now his life,
And each day a calorie hell.
For the Jersey Gov, no doughnut love,
No Oval Office to be,
Hail to the Chief, not the chef,
And four more of Hillary.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.14.13 @ 8:50PM
Snap!SnapSnap!Snap!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.14.13 @ 9:11PM
In the land way up north just the brave sally forth
Eating reindeer and Eskimo Pie
As I read the last poem about pols near my home
I thought I would laugh til I die
Now there’s some who get nervous and they can’t copy Service
Or Remember a lady named Lou
The above epic rhyme it arrived just in time
And it landed on target too
One who ate way too much and his neighbor as such
Who couldn’t leave any alone
With another who’d focus while she ate like a locust
And finished him down to the bone
And another bad spouse with her husband-a louse
Who took freedom away without pause
And an overweight gov that the unions don’t love
Please stand as I give you Applause
KennesawJack| 3.16.13 @ 6:04PM
Good stuff that there are so many fans of Mr. Service at this site. Hadn't thought of it before, but it makes sense he would appeal to self-reliant folks, aka Conservatives. 7-08 and Al, I'm sure Robert W. would be proud of both of you. Very, very well done!
Joellen| 3.15.13 @ 3:45PM
7-08 BRAVO - BRAVO - BRAVO!
Next time I get a soliciation letter from Christie Creme, I SENDING THIS!
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 4:05PM
"I SENDING THIS" ?
Joellen| 3.15.13 @ 4:08PM
Did I spell fluck right?
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 8:05AM
Fluckin eh.
Li'l Jen| 3.14.13 @ 11:13PM
Wowza!
I missed the impromptu contest last week, so I stopped by early to make sure I didn't miss it this time.
TLP, ACJ, and 7-08 have thrown down their gauntlets!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.14.13 @ 11:24PM
Li'l Jen, we know you can lay down some rhyme, so we'll be waiting breathlessly for the competition.
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 8:58AM
Albert and I may have thrown down Gauntlets, but 7-08 ( which I'm assuming is the Code the Cops use on their Radio: "We have a 7-08 in progress" :as they move in to surround his house every weekend) has thrown down what can only be described as: An Epic Tome. One for the Ages. Sponge Worthy. Something that (_!_) can only Dream of ever writing.
I do hope that he realizes we'll be here all Weekend.
Moe Blotz| 3.16.13 @ 7:52AM
O illustrious benefactor of analogous composition, if only I were so inclined with benefit of certain creative propensities. In real life I haul junque and fix my machines when they break. Youse with the time and juices to write top notch analogies please carry on and I will be happy to observe from my cheap seat in New Juhsey. Meanwhile I will dream about finding a cheaper way to make duck butter.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 8:08AM
You spelled "Fluffernutter" wrong.
Moe Blotz| 3.16.13 @ 10:33AM
That is spelled TLP.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 4:15PM
( O ).
CJW| 3.15.13 @ 7:00AM
The problem I am having with this analogy is that there are so many movies and tv shows where a lie is the central part of the story but the liar is usually a funny likable person. For example George Costanza as Art Vandelay or the marine biologist or the architect, or James Rockford, our hero, always lying about his motives and identity to do his detecting. But Obama is neither funny or likable.
We like these types and maybe that helps explain why many seemingly intelligent persons voted for Bubba and Obama. We all know they are lying yet we voted for them, well not the real intelligent "we" at this site.
My entry: The Sting, starring those lovable lefties, Paul Newman and Robert Redford. They constructed an entire casino, all with phoney identities, with good music, and the audience cheered for them to pull off the sting. You have Obama as a combination of Newman/Refdford, with Biden as the stupid sidekick,who repeatedly says stupid comments, and the audience likes him because he is so stupid.
Obama pulls off the biggest STING of all. He convinces the voters he is not a radical socialist, even after he passes Obamacare. Of course he has a strong supporting cast in this movie, he has the MSM writing the script for the audience.
R Martin| 3.15.13 @ 8:44AM
CJW, I have the same problem. My first thought was Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, a movie about a high school boy who never tells the truth, but is somehow so endearing that everyone protects his dishonesty in such a way that he never has to pay consequences for his lies. Is that Obama, or what?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 9:29AM
The Chicago setting works, too, but if we were to really work on the Ferris Bueller analogy, George W Bush would be blamed for getting Ferris sick in the first place.
Ferris would probably work best as the American system of government, with Obama as the odious Mr. Rooney. Until the time is put in to develop that analogy (get to work, UD Womyn's collective), despite the Second City setting, Rooney is Michael Bloomberg for me, and Ferris is the typical American consumer.
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 11:26AM
I'm thinking that Ferris would be Obama, and George Bush would be Ferris' rich friend - Cameron - who is about to take the Blame for Ferris' (Obama's) total Destruction of his Father's Ferrari (The United States Economy).
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 8:54AM
Of course, the way a Sting is supposed to work is that you can't cheat an honest man. Obama has benefited from the Left's campaign (largely successful the last 50 years) to convince people that the principles established by the Founding Fathers in the Constitution were not a brilliant combination of limited government with checks and balances between the branches and levels to ensure that government exists to protect freedoms given from God; but rather a conspiracy to establish and protect the white male patriarchy (and therefore a legitimate target for their con).
Secondly, a truly successful con requires sufficient smoke and mirrors to leave the mark uncertain that they were actually conned. Hence, the fawning press failing to report on Benghazi; the unemployment reports which ignore fewer people working in a larger population, claiming instead a drop in the unemployment rate, etc.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 8:10AM
The LIES aren't the Subject Matter. The Sequester is.
The Analogies need to be about the Sequester, and the way the Halfrican he handled it.
Pecos Pete| 3.15.13 @ 7:38AM
1st obligation: Tim is great! Tim is Pretty!
2nd obligation: Ol Tim, my horse, is resting easy in a warm barn having not seen AnnaK for at least two weeks. The pigs are happy lying in their slop with The Village Idiots.
3rd obligation: It's Friday and time to say hello to my TAS friends. Hello once again from the mountains, trees and streams of Northern New Mexico.
sky is blue
wind is kind
sun shines on TAS's crew
sequestor couldn't unwind
beauty of the view.
And now for King O's lies. Based on a poem by Andrea Y. Gallego.
Pecos Pete| 3.15.13 @ 7:40AM
Crushed like Ice
Like twenty tons have been thrown on the nation's soul
Obama spoke those words that emitted through his vocal cords like venom
A snake Obama were
Looking through liberals eyes into our nation's core
So delicately
Obama devised his plan, to kill everything inside the nation
Skillfully he weaved his web, planted his trap
And with liberal's love decoy blindfolded voters logic
All which was open was voters trust
His weapon
He deceived, They believed
His arms were so warm,
Now the only warmth we feel
Is that of our blood
Spilling from our soul
As our life swings carelessly
Like a pendulum
Back and forth
Higher and higher
But going nowhere
The 5 senses have gone numb
We scream louder and louder
But no one hears us
We speak we call out for help
Congress cannot hear
Look at us look at the nothingness Obama has brought onto us
The well hath run dry
As the nation lay
Crippled from Obama's fangs
Until nothing remains
But the nation's backbone
Obama hath eternally forsaken her
The nation's life has become
Life's lesson to us all
Better to be Free
Than not at all.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 8:56AM
Snap!Snap!Snap!
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 9:04AM
I can actually imagine Pesco running his Entry by Ole Tim, and Tim nodding his head up and down, and Stomping his Hoof up and down.
Oh, I almost forgot.
The Horse has a Boner.
Pecos Pete| 3.15.13 @ 9:12AM
Sad to say, at least for Ol Tim, is that Ol Tim is a gelding. Thus, Ol Tim doesn't have a Boner, he only dreams of such from long ago.
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 9:31AM
So, what you're saying is that Ol Tim is just like the House Leadership, the Wookie's Husband, and Ross Kaminsky?
You got that right.
Great Entry though, Pesco.
You other people could learn a lot from this man, and his adherence to Rules #1 and #3 and the Money he sends me, on Thursdays.
Well done.
AuH2O Girl| 3.15.13 @ 9:27AM
If ole Tim has a boner, that's not the sound of his hoof stomping the ground. Just sayin....
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 9:34AM
Whoever said that Silence was Golden, didn't know what he was talkin about.
Nothing like a Boner to bring out the best in a girl.
(Is it me? Or is this all veering off in the wrong direction?)
AuH2O Girl| 3.15.13 @ 9:36AM
Extreme reckless comments are welcome!
SUBVET| 3.15.13 @ 11:38AM
Ho2 Girl...... Anna posted Tim had peyronie's disease but she didn't care.
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 2:27PM
If I have it?
It's pointing to the Right.
You can count on it.
Joellen| 3.15.13 @ 3:50PM
You did it again PESCO PETE - you got me all weepy again.
When I have my glass of wine tonite - I am tipping it to you.
Pecos Pete| 3.15.13 @ 5:28PM
Joellen, down the hatch! Cocktail hour in 33 minutes for me.
Moe Blotz| 3.15.13 @ 8:38AM
This is off subject, but I refer to the photograph at the header on the Welker article. Is that the greatest linebacker to ever play the game, Ray Lewis, lying prone on the turf as he watches Wes Welker's feet disappear into the end zone? RA, who cares, but I just thought I would stir up Dr.Right.
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 9:07AM
He was away for a while, apparently.
I did invite him here, today. Hopefully he'll show up.
crankitup| 3.15.13 @ 8:43AM
If this is a contest, how come nobody goes by the rules? You don't even start the contest on the required and posted start time. It's like a nancy pelosi edict, are refreshments served. Is mustafa j. el hassan brennen watching ? Can we use spell check. At this point what differnce does it make? I'm back! The name been changed to protect the innocent SOS.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 9:01AM
If one saw a magician doing his best W.C. Fields imitation, saying "Pick a crank, Any crank", it might not work as well, but it wouldn't be Hard to guess what he really meant.
I'm glad to see that by rearranging, adding and or discarding the letters, you can fool the DHS drones.
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 9:12AM
Are we to assume that's Anna K from Flucke U?
I though she was due for an Anal Doorknobectomy?
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 9:16AM
Or, is that Dreckman, back from a Dryout Session at the local Drunk Tank?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 9:17AM
The roots of the current administration took hold in the mid 1960s (though the seed could be found more than a century earlier in the writings of Marx, and originates in Genesis when the snake tries to convince
MichelleEve that the powers of God could belong to man if she just changed her diet).In the same turbulent era of nearly 50 years ago, there was an early quasi-psychedelic hit on the pop charts by a group known as the Castaways, entitled “Liar,Liar”. As the words were difficult to understand or follow (like “Louie, Louie”) and this task was made more difficult through AM radio broadcast through 3 inch speakers, I have updated the lyrics to meet the needs of this week’s contest, and the current POTUS:
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 9:18AM
Liar, liar, pants on fire
You cancelled White House tours to show us your ire
We have Obama, He’s really bad
Trashed the economy now we’re all sad
Tried to blame Bush but we know it's a lie
look for a job with me and see how I cry
Why must you hurt the red, white and blue
Take the Constitution Rip it in two
Can’t make a statement which would be true
We wanna cry when we see what you do
Liar, liar, pants on fire
You cancelled White House tours to show us your ire
Keep spendin’ money tellin' those lies
Soon there’ll be little our dollar buys
There'll come a day when we could be gone
Follow Obama, it won't be long
When the day comes, that you’ll be gone
Be free of you, there’ll be a new dawn
Spent all our money left us all broke
Tried to see it go up in smoke
Liar, liar, pants on fire
You cancelled White House tours to show us your ire
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 9:46AM
Nice one, Albert.
Ya know...........All the Fun and Frivolity is great. But without the Entries? Without the Foundation that they bring here, by forcing us to THINK? The whole thing would fall like a house of Cards.
It would be akin to being stuck in a Locker Room Stall, with nothing to read but lame jokes about Anna And Purp, and their Phone Numbers which they, themselves, wrote there. As opposed to being stuck in the Ancient Library at Alexandria for the Weekend.
Again: Well Done.
Joellen| 3.15.13 @ 4:02PM
Albert, Albert thou are the wisest
your words of wisdom
does empower
those who take this weekly journey
walk away with delicious power
SUBVET| 3.15.13 @ 9:21AM
Good morning Mr. Frank D.......
AuH2O Girl| 3.15.13 @ 9:35AM
I'm traveling to FL today to visit my bro and sis-in-law, for a week of drinking until someone bleeds. My posts, if I manage to gather a coherent thought and keep it long enough to post, may be sporadic. However, you can bet that I will be checking on my best friends yet unmet, and sharing the more outrageous and profane comments with our group. Party on boys and girls!
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 9:51AM
I'm trying to follow along with the scenario you've laid out.
You're going to Florida with the intention of Drinking until you, or your Sister, gets their Period? Is that what you're saying?
Cause, after seeing your first entry, concerning Ol Tim?
I'm thinking you better put a Pad on, now.
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 9:56AM
Is ANYONE reading the Introductions at the beginning of The Contest?
Do you even Know what the Prizes are?
Drunken Sailor| 3.15.13 @ 4:09PM
Is it a naughty Monkey?
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 8:13AM
Finally!
AuH2O Girl| 3.15.13 @ 10:02AM
Actually, my husband started the tradition last year. He was on a blood thinner for several months after a surgery, and didn't realize his nose was bleeding after an afternoon of margaritas, or Morrocan Maritas, as he referred to them late in the day.
AuH2O Girl| 3.15.13 @ 10:03AM
I forgot to add how sweet and pretty our host TLP is today!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 10:23AM
Do blood thinners enhance or deftract from the effect of alcohol (and I'm not just asking because Happy Hour starts in another 335 minutes)?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 10:24AM
deftractdetractAuH2O Girl| 3.15.13 @ 12:31PM
My guess is they enhance the effect of alcohol. Not recommended unless you have a really good stain remover
Drunken Sailor| 3.15.13 @ 4:10PM
Or you drink naked. Just saying.
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 11:29AM
Can ya hear that?
That's my "Hoof" hitting the ground.
AuH2O Girl| 3.15.13 @ 12:32PM
So if someone says they are hoofing it, we have a visual!
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 2:29PM
Pretty much.
SUBVET| 3.15.13 @ 6:14PM
We need major sucking up no.....some ob-seen sucking up.
Movie please..........
crankitup| 3.15.13 @ 10:24AM
What's that reading thingie about, that's a pelosi trick, you have to read it at the end to find out what's in it. Now that's not so HARD to understand is it? Prizes We don't need no stinkin' prizes. How about CASH !!! sandra flucke!!!
R Martin| 3.15.13 @ 10:28AM
I have to break rules #1 and #3 here to suggest the contest organizers have not thought this thing through properly. Like Moe’s improper spacing, the rules are only half complete. What good is it to analogize a lie without considering the motivation behind that lie?
Therefore, I’m entering Macbeth. Like much written by Shakespeare, this play is full of lies and deception, but it stands out for this analogy because what drives the perfidy is the blind personal ambition of the title character, prodded in evil by his lovely and sometimes charming wife, Lady Macbeth. One can imagine the conversations on the second floor of the white house sounding very much like those from Cawdor Castle.
Of course none of the ladies and gentlemen on this site would wish the fate of Macbeth and his Lady on the Obamas, except metaphorically, of course.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 11:21AM
...and I don't think we yet have our Mac Duff (my guess would be that given his father's profession, Rand Paul would have been delivered naturally; I really have no other data on any other potential contenders)...
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 11:32AM
You spelled "McDuck" wrong.
SUBVET| 3.15.13 @ 11:44AM
You Sir spelled "peyronie's " wrong.
davidh| 3.15.13 @ 12:23PM
With all these soldiers at your disposal is there a way to impact the national conversation?
We could coordinate comments on different sites on different days.
My take is that if we can change the terms of the debate we can change the outcomes.
The ruse is class warfare. Obama and government lovers are saying “fair share” when they know the real money they need is the middle class.
Obama is brilliant. He has convinced millions of Americans that he is defending the middle class. This is amazing.
Printing money to cover the deficit is killing the middle class(inflation). The payroll tax is killing the middle class.
Increasing health premiums will kill the middle class.
Maybe a few million poor will now get health care. Maybe 50 million now get food stamps. And yes Washington is now the “Rome”, the “Emerald City” and those tapped into this gravy train are getting wealthy as we write here.
But the rich are not paying for this, the middle class are. And if this story is told Obama will be done
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 1:51PM
...or perhaps, ♫ we just set ♩♪ the message ♬ to music...
davidh| 3.15.13 @ 2:42PM
music is nice!
whatever works
beer time?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 3:21PM
Happy Hour in about 40 minutes...
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 2:32PM
And, what Movie was that from? Cause I'm looking at the Judges and they're kissing each other.
That can't be good.
Joellen| 3.15.13 @ 4:06PM
You spelled Daffy correct.
Li'l Jen| 3.15.13 @ 12:48PM
My analogy comes from Disney’s Little Mermaid. Ursula is Obama, and she gets Ariel/Julia/the uninformed voter to accept her agenda by lying, and promising the impossible and unaffordable.
I admit that in the past I've been in a choom gang
They weren't kidding when they called me, well, “pot head”
But you'll find that nowadays
I've mended all my ways
Repented, run for office, and reduced the debt
True? Yes
And I fortunately know how to steal elections
It's a talent that I always have possessed
And here lately, please don't laugh
I use it on behalf
Of the miserable, lonely and depressed
(Pathetic)
Poor unfortunate souls
In pain
In need
This one longing for free health care
That one wants an Obamaphone
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad
So true
They come flocking to my campaign
Crying, "Favors, Obama please!"
And I help them?
Yes, I do
Now it's happened once or twice
Someone couldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals
Yes, I've had the odd complaint
But on the whole I've been a saint
To those poor unfortunate souls
Li'l Jen| 3.15.13 @ 12:49PM
([Obama:] Have we got a deal?
[Julia:] If I vote for you, I’ll never live in freedom again
[Obama:] But you'll have your man—me! Life's full of tough choices, innit?
Oh - and there is one more thing. We haven't discussed the subject of payment.
[Julia:] But I don't have any -
[Obama:] I'm not asking much. Just a token, really, a trifle. What I want
from you is . . . your “fair share”.
[Julia:] But if I can’t keep what I earn, how can I-
[Obama:] You'll have your phone! Your unemployment benefits! And don't underestimate
the importance of food stamps! Ha! )
Washington elites don't like checks and balances
They think a filibuster is a bore
Yes, around here it's much preferred
For the Bill of Rights to be ignored And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?
Come on, we're not all that impressed with the Constitution
True politicians avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a constituent who’s a pawn
It's those who hold their tongues who get guns banned
Come on, you poor unfortunate soul
Go ahead!
Cast your ballot!
My wife’s a busy woman
And I haven't got all day
It won't cost much
Just your wallet!
You poor unfortunate soul
It's sad
But true
If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet
You've got to pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and sign the scroll!
Valerie, Michelle, now I've got her, gals
The boss is on a roll
This poor unfortunate soul
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 1:17PM
Snap!Snap!Snap!Sn
Another excellent effort from the highly animated Li'l Jen.
Joellen| 3.15.13 @ 4:32PM
Lil Jen the perpetual winner!
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 2:34PM
My hoof is stomping like nobody's business.
Drunken Sailor| 3.15.13 @ 4:11PM
They have shots for that.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 8:16AM
I'm allergic to Penicillin.
crankitup| 3.15.13 @ 12:55PM
you spelled chicken feets wrong.
crankitup| 3.15.13 @ 12:56PM
also you spelled mc flucke wrong.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 3:28PM
To further understand the minds of the left, you have to study the 1970s, as well. A decade in which as a society, culture and a nation we were adrift, and without a moral foundation.Anything goes, and soon much was gone. The economy was terrible, inflation incredible; we abandoned our allies. Then, it got worse, and we got Jimmy Carter.
In order to keep the masses pacified during the first half of the 70s, there were mind altering substances, and pop music which functioned in much the same way. Three Dog Night released hit after hit. In honor of the theme this week, I’ve reworked one of there numbers, also known as ”Liar”:
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 3:30PM
There’s a deficit, but it don’t really matter
We’ll help the middle class, but take away the ladder
Vote for me anyway
Believin’ the things I say, bein’ a fool
I've taken the oath, now I want your soul
I told a big lie, you swallowed it whole
You love your country too
that’s something that I don’t do
But don't move away
Don’t trust what I said?
Don't trust what I said?
I know what you say-
Liar, Liar, Liar
You have no rights
While I do no wrong
Don’t you disagree, you better go along
You can believe in me
You best believe it, I won't let you down
Don’t trust what I said?
Don't trust what I said?
I know what you say-
Liar, Liar, Liar
We've taken freedom, now we want your cash
We took your land and left a pile of ash
I want all that you save
and leave you an early grave
But don't run away
Don’t trust what I said?
Don't trust what I said?
I know what you say-
Liar, Liar, Liar
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 3:30PM
Now, Happy Hour beckons.
TLP| 3.17.13 @ 9:37AM
What Albert's trying to say is that "The Golden Girls Marathon" is on T.V.
Li'l Jen| 3.15.13 @ 3:34PM
Within months, Ariel/Julia/duped voters realize their mistake, and wish they would've voted for Romney instead. Still, unable to take responsibility for their actions, and fearful of retribution in the form of drones, they sing this song (mostly) by Fleetwood Mac:
If I could turn the page
In time then I'd rearrange just a month or four
Close my, close my, close my eyes
But I couldn't find a way
So I'll settle for a way to believe in four years more
Tell me, tell me, tell me lies
(Chorus)
Tell me lies
Tell me sweet little lies
(Tell me lies, tell me, tell me lies)
Oh, no, no you can't disguise
(You can't disguise, no you can't disguise)
Tell me lies
Tell me sweet little lies
You promised more transparency
But your backroom deals have doomed the economy
Close my, close my, close my eyes
No more White House Tours
But we’re better off just blaming the other guys
Tell me, tell me, tell me lies
(Chorus)
If I could turn the page
In time then I'd rearrange just a month or four
Close my, close my, close my eyes
But I couldn't find a way
So I'll settle for a way to believe in four years more
Tell me, tell me, tell me lies
TLP| 3.15.13 @ 4:14PM
Where's Navritil?
Where's Drunken Sailor?
Where's Colonel Mike?
Where's Warrior?
Li'l Jen| 3.15.13 @ 4:34PM
Maybe they're still working on their entries.
Joellen| 3.15.13 @ 7:29PM
In honor of Saint Patricks Day this weekend:
O'Danny Boy
My country cries and weeps
once beloved but now rifed with many enemies
once built with pride
but oh how sloth has taken hold
and all because we've let the liberals take the reign
O Danny Boy
the Patriots are calling out you see
our only wish to reclaim her majesty
and set her on to great recovery
so gleam she might into the night for all to see
O Danny Boy we Love our country so
not willing just to let her go
we'll fight till death
to again bestow
all honor, pride, and dignity
O Danny Boy
our fifes and drums will play
as in those revolutionary days
our battle though we've just begun
we will not cease until we've claim all victory
And when it is that we must lie
beneath the soil of GOD's green earth
we'll sing out loud
Dear Lord do not forsake
tis country that we've loved
from birth till now
KennesawJack| 3.16.13 @ 10:30AM
Not that they need a reason to do it, but I'm going to forward this to a few friends of mine of Irish descent who, I'm sure, will raise more than a pint or two in your honor. Nicely done, Jo.
Joellen| 3.16.13 @ 2:41PM
Thanks KennesawJack - dont forget to remind your friend Saint Patrick was Roman:)
For some reason that always irks my Irish Brother-in-Law.
Warrior| 3.15.13 @ 9:40PM
Homeland Security at its finest:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XMr3QO2Sbc
Many of the names are pseudonyms for our ever present site trolls.
Joellen| 3.15.13 @ 10:15PM
This is the day that I took control
November 6 which wasnt long ago
conned the people so easily
they came out to vote
more than once some believe
The party you see
made it my destiny
The fools that I played read not their history
swallowed my lies with relative ease
no questions were posed on guns Holder had sold no one could care less that people are dead
Learn to work the masses now
and taught all just how to bow
cause I am emperor, and all must sing
"we are Obama's fools"
The media lied from the beginning
there was no such thing as investigating
continued to poke those who didnt agree
with the agenda that I have decreed
they'll never kneel down
at my feet you see
continue to cry
that damm Patriots Pride
It's trouble I see - if we cant take out the Tea Party
My chins in the air - A hero for Marxist fans
I crawl like a snake throughout this land
but what's that I see above the Horizen
it's TLP and his loyal Posse
Time to send Obama Drones - remind Tim Who sits on the throne - and if they continue I'll send Joey Biden - with his made up home made shotgun
This is the night that I've dreaded you see
I am crying now cause I see what the rest cant see
the Patriots are coming and there's no where to
flee - It's been oh so easy for me - mucking up this country - but now its all over
its time to take cover
TLP & his Posse are here - gonna kick my ass right out of here
There's no one to turn to - so surrender I must do
Call me Liberal blue
Li'l Jen| 3.16.13 @ 12:23AM
a hundred *likes*!
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 8:21AM
Wow. Look at you.
Someone's found their Niche.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 4:21PM
And, her Potty Mouth.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 10:26PM
Joellen just made another excellent entry. When we all were younger, the world seemed as if there was more hope, and there was. After Carter, there came Reagan, along with Margaret Thatcher, and Pope John Paul II. By 1980, even with the Soviets in Afghanistan, and Iran holding American diplomats hostage, and the world looking like it was falling apart, we still had the hope that those named above brought us,
Before that, though, was the rest of the decade of the 70s.
Of course, even the early part of the 70s had many pop singers, even before the advent of disco. Of course, while there was great overseas competition from Abba, and so many of us await the next release by Klaatu, one of the great pop/folk singers (beloved by Frank Drackman, and mentioned on a contest a couple of weeks past) was Jim Croce. While he couldn’t defy the laws of gravity with respect to air travel, he left a legacy on song, and in light of this week’s theme, I will appropriate one of his biggest hits “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown” for use here”:
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 10:27PM
Well in Hyde Park in Chicago
Is the softest part of the dam
And if you go over there
You better just beware
Of a man named Barack Obam’
Now Barack he’s a Lefty
and likes when others go on out to fight
but if you want a man to stand on up you can
just press Call Forward to Reverend Wright
And he's bad, bad Barack Obam’
He’s the weakest bread on which you spead your jam
Quiet as a churchyard mouse Steamier than any bath house
Now Barack has his Michelle
And she don’t come from the South
And she likes to stop any good food to drop
into anybody’s mouth
He’s got the tours there of his White House
A few Trillion he can spend
but no money for rent if they just cut a cent
So all the good times he will end
And he's bad, bad Barack Obam’
Make the country crash but he don’t give a damn
He doesn’t think about a bit
If we run a deficit
Well Friday at the start of March
Barack made a pledge
If the House didn’t vote
to raise everybody’s taxes
That we’d all fall off the edge
Well then a few there checked with Woodward
And the trouble then unfurled
Barack Obama had to step into the drama
in the midst of a digital world
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.15.13 @ 10:28PM
And he's bad, bad Barack Obam’
If you don’t agree you’re gonna get a slam
Stronger than Hindu Kush
Then you blame it on George Bush
Well the country took to fightin'
But we kept it short of civil war
With biennial election
and Congressional selection
We remembered what elections are for
And he's bad, bad Barack Obam’
Tried to paddle the country over the big dam
Guaranteed to bring you tears
Now can you hold your breath for four more years
Li'l Jen| 3.16.13 @ 12:25AM
One hundred more *likes*!
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 8:23AM
I think she likes you, Albert.
KennesawJack| 3.16.13 @ 10:14AM
As good as it gets, Al. Well done. Worthy, at the very least, of the week old contents of Purp's gym bag after a workout with Arnie.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 4:20PM
It was better that that.
That deserves the Wet Tissues from Purp's floor, after a "Workout" with Arnie.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 8:27AM
To Rickey Martin and CJW.
The Subject is Not the Lies, per se.
The actual Sequester is the Subject. A subject that was REQUESTED by a certain Professional Mime, whom has yet to arrive.
R Martin| 3.16.13 @ 9:39AM
Now just a darn minute here. CJW and I are not the only ones who interpreted the contest theme as “The Lie”. Everyone has; read the submissions. And justifiably, too. With your intro beginning at 3:47 Thursday and continuing with the three that follow, you use the words “liar or lying” 21 times, you use “truth” five times while “sequester” is mentioned just four times.
May I humbly suggest that in the future you set the contest parameters AFTER you’ve taken your medicine. Or I could save you some trouble for the next one: the theme could be to analogize TLP changing horses in the middle of the stream.
Contestants, please ignore that man behind the curtain; continue with “The Lie” analogies. After all, Albert has already got his UD Womyns Department minions working on his closing based on that subject.
7-08| 3.16.13 @ 9:57AM
You spelled "change horses" correctly.
Listen up TLP, unless you want to end up in Pecos Bill’s stable, *four limbs handcuffed to the corners of a stall and straddled across a saw horse, I humbly suggest you allow me a vote as to the winner of this contest.
My own contribution was moot, simply a plagiarized mimic of a true literary master (unknown author). For consideration - very carefully examine ACJ’s contribution as a comment and the temporal displacement of my submission and his. He constructed elegant prose as a direct response to “Belle” in perfect rhyme, in perfect context, and with impeccable humor all within the span of twenty one minutes; that accomplishment, my friends, represents the literary talent of a master wordsmith, as well as a poet of considerable merit.
My hat is off to you Jr., and my vote is in your column. (Rest assured, after donning blackface, I will log on with several aliases and place numerous other votes in your column as well.)
*Any videos of equestrian carnal episodes that are of New Mexico origin will be forwarded to Quinn for revue and dissemination to his RINO base.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.16.13 @ 10:24AM
Many thanks for your kind endorsements. Unfortunately, the determination of winner for the purposes of awarding the prizes is done by the judges(an elite who have only our well-being guiding their actions) who only communicate through TLP.
Of course, we are all winners here, just by showing up and making an entry (or if I might channel the character of Jim Rockford from "The Rockford Files" Episode 113, entitled "Nice Guys Finish Dead" originally aired on 111679, "I think the nomination itself is the award")
CJW| 3.16.13 @ 1:10PM
Is that the one where they took the award from Jim and gave it to Lance (Tom Selleck)?
Maybe instead of analoziging a lie to Obama we should try analoziging the truth to Obama. But we may then have only a few entries because there are only a few truthful statements made by Obama and so many lies.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.16.13 @ 1:25PM
That is the episode, which was also known as "The Goodhues" (after the award's name). Several recurring characters appeared-Simon Oakland as Vern St. Cloud, James Whitmore, Jr. as Freddy Beamer, as well as Selleck as Lance White.
Larry Manetti played the real killer, within a couple of years he would be joining Selleck (and Rockford producer Charles Floyd Johnson) over at Magnum, P.I.
TLP| 3.17.13 @ 9:39AM
That was the Episode where Magnum is Sodomized by Higgins, with a Coconut.
John Navratil| 3.16.13 @ 9:33AM
I present the winning entry from Dorothy Rabinowitz' column of October 12, 2012 in the WSJ entitled "The Unreality of the Past Four Years"
"In the 1967 film "A Guide for the Married Man," a husband, played by a peerless Walter Matthau, is given lessons in ways to cheat on his wife safely. The most essential rule: "Deny! Deny! Deny!"—no matter what. In an instructive scene, he's shown a wife undone by shock, and screaming, with reason: She has just walked in on her husband making love to a glamorous stranger.
"What are you doing," she wails, "who is that woman?"
"What woman, where?" the husband serenely counters, as he and the tart in question get out of bed and calmly dress.
So the scene proceeds, with the distraught wife pointing to the woman she clearly sees before her, while her husband, unruffled, continues to look blankly at her, asking, "What woman?" Confused by her spouse's unblinking assurance, she gives up. Two minutes later she's asking him what he'd like for dinner."
I know it seems like cheating, but there is no way I could top that.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 4:28PM
You might be right.
That was Perfect.
I'm thinking that Rickey Martin just hasn't Danced enough, and CJW just hasn't Drunk enough.
This isn't that hard. (That's what she said. "She", being my Wife)
As Flick said - in A Bugs Life - "Just use your Imagination".
KennesawJack| 3.16.13 @ 10:04AM
My entry, humbly submitted for the approval of the Master of the Greatest Analogy Contest in the History of Western Civilization, is inspired, to a degree, by my increasing admiration for a young Senator from Wisconsin who seems to be among that small group of Senators who possess political courage (I was gonna say "balls" but that would exclude Kelly Ayotte, which I would NEVER do). I have borrowed from Longfellow one of his most famous, if not THE most famous poem he wrote, "Paul Revere's Ride". Be forewarned, for those of you who are not afficionados of poetry, Longfellow's poem is difficult to follow. It doesn't have consistent rhyme schemes nor even stanzas. Its "stanzas" are not uniform and are really strophes. That being said, I was faithful to the meter and rhyme as Longfellow used it. Herewith, "Paul Ryan's Ride".
KennesawJack| 3.16.13 @ 10:06AM
Listen, my children, and you shall hear
a tale, in the telling, t’will fill you with fear.
‘Twas the first of March, two-thousand thirteen.
How could anyone have foreseen
sequester was lurking so very near?
I said to my friend, “If Obamarx takes
the nation to the brink of collapse.
If sequester comes it may raise the stakes
for all those who so gleefully set these traps.
Those of us on the opposite side
must then spread the word both far and wide.
Ready to tell and spread the alarm
through every school district, fact’ry, and farm,
for the common folk to be up and to arm.
Then my friend said “Good-night!” and with darkened brow
left to tell who would listen, that here and now
sequester had come as of this day.
For our military, Hell to pay.
For golf and vacations, nothing lost.
(No way our Emperor bears a cost!)
Our defense? Now on the trash heap tossed.
Why Republicans think they won this day
is puzzling to those who know the play.
KennesawJack| 3.16.13 @ 10:07AM
What does he do? He closes our House.
Arrogantly trying to stoke our fears.
Though in the push-back around him he hears
anger and outrage across the land,
he finds funds to party with his spouse.
And when asked about it, Carney just snears,
“Republicans chose to play this hand.”
Then my friend went on T. V. where ‘er he could.
Folks started listening to what he said
and slowly the word began to spread
if Obamarx could hurt us, he would,
and willingly so, to have his way.
“To Hell with what the people say.”
There’s no problem cutting soldiers’ pay.
But uniforms for the TSA
are needed to help protect us all.
Morale is important, after all,
for folks who feel up our junk all day.
A backlash is coming, is it not?
For now we’re content to just stand still,
wrapped in silence, so deep and still.
Eventually, folks will see the plot
lying there, being now unmasked,
finally being brought to task.
“But it wasn’t me.”, Obamarx lied.
“Secret Service was left do decide
that now was the time to stop giving the tour
but we in the White House weren’t so sure.”
This time the press had no choice but to ask
whether Obamarx had spoken the truth,
‘cause Obamarx would never harm our youth.
This time the façade just may crack
(if the press no longer covers his back).
KennesawJack| 3.16.13 @ 10:09AM
Meanwhile, impatient to take to the floor,
The man from Wisconsin came forth with his plan.
And he threw down the gauntlet to every man
(knowing full well what the liberals had in store)
Clear of eye, and mind, with a resolute heart
he presented a budget, which from the start
had the leftists screaming they would have no part
of this mad assault on our nation’s poor.
“I’m just doing what I was elected for,
on this profligate spending I’m slamming the door!”
“Here ,on the Potomac, this madness ends
and the waste and abuse will get the ax.”
“I’ll be damned if there’ll be any new tax.”
“So wail all you want, my fair weather friends.”
On March the first, sequester came
and Lo! and Behold!, no catastrophes.
Life went on pretty much the same.
The airlines functioned, as did the ports.
The trains all worked, as did the courts.
(We did have fewer carriers on the seas).
Obamarx screamed, “Just wait and see!”
“Things will be just as bad as I said”.
But apparently ‘tis not to be.
Why? Republicans didn’t blink.
His tantrums and threats fall upon deaf ears.
We stare at him and have no fears,
as we wonder, “Did he really think
we would look at less spending, filled with dread?”
KennesawJack| 3.16.13 @ 10:10AM
So now we all wait to see what will be.
Will our side cave again, or will there be
resolve enough to withstand the attack
that will come from every left wing hack
screaming that Ryan isn’t fair.
“Why aren’t the wealthy paying their share?”
“See, he’s not punishing the one percent!”
And trust me, friends, they won’t relent.
But, out in front for all to hear
Republicans have raised the loud alarm
through every school district, fact’ry, and farm.
A cry of defiance and not of fear.
A voice in the darkness, a knock at the door,
a warning to all, both the rich and the poor.
We have to stop and measure the cost
of all this spending, or we are lost.
KennesawJack| 3.16.13 @ 10:12AM
TLP, Please note the accomodation made to rule #1 in the intro to my entry.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 4:36PM
Oh, I noticed, all right.
In fact, I'm wiping the Lipstick off my Ass as we speak.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.16.13 @ 10:30AM
Snap!Snap!Snap!Snap!
Joellen| 3.16.13 @ 3:52PM
KennesawJack - Awesome!
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 4:37PM
You spelled "Possum" wrong, Joellen.
Joellen| 3.16.13 @ 7:55PM
But did I spell "pouch" right?
TLP| 3.17.13 @ 9:41AM
Yes, but you spelled "Chainsaw" wrong.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 4:34PM
Are you seeing this, Navritil?
No wonder he wanted to do the Sequester.
Well done, KJ.
That has to be your best Entry ever.
This is what happens when you Mime for a living.
When you actually get a chance to talk?
You find that you have a lot to say.
7-08| 3.16.13 @ 10:05AM
I still laugh at the British actor (Terry Thomas?) who, after a tryst could not find the bra of his mistress in the shambles of his home bedroom. He aged sixty years in a few short months waiting for his wife to stumble across that bra. It will be interesting to see the POTUS in about four years if he makes it that far with out going NIxon on us.
7-08| 3.16.13 @ 10:06AM
This was supposed to go as a comment to a "Guide for the Marriead Man. Sorry.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 4:38PM
You spelled "Myriad" wrong.
Alan's Girl| 3.16.13 @ 11:09AM
Took a break form the forms W-2 & 1040
To read what my TAS friends think to be sporty
The laughs were abundant, cheeky & clever
The likes of such I'd read not before--- no never
It's with great gratitude that I render my praise
To all those whose glasses are forever upraised
Bless you, my friends, for this moment of mirth
As I return now to my desk near Ft. Worth.
KennesawJack| 3.16.13 @ 11:53AM
For that, Alan's Girl, kudos be raised.
Your cleverness causes my eyes to be glazed.
I'd like to write more but now must go.
My better half has deemed it so.
Life for me is about to get hard.
She's waiting with rakes, out in the yard!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.16.13 @ 12:13PM
Some work with rakes, others with axes
Some toss the hay, or figure out taxes
Some might recline, enjoy a good rest
And think up rhymes for this week’s contest
Be it the lies or maybe sequester
Come step on up and be the court jester
A witty remark a snarlin’ ”Your Mama”
As long as the butt (_*_) of your joke is Obama
R Martin| 3.16.13 @ 12:36PM
Excellent.
CJW| 3.16.13 @ 1:13PM
AG
If you have any tax questions, call Turbotax Tim Geithner or Cholly Rangel.
Joellen| 3.16.13 @ 2:46PM
HA CJW - and most of Federal Employees!
CJW| 3.16.13 @ 3:38PM
Joellen
We had our St Pat's Day parade today, I think ours is the second or third largest in the country, after NYC or Baahsten.
Excellent poetry, you get better every week.
KennesawJack| 3.16.13 @ 4:36PM
CJW, are you in Savannah?
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 4:42PM
Savannah?
She sounds pretty.
CJW| 3.16.13 @ 6:17PM
KJack
Pittsburgh, Pa. Home of the Steelers, 6 Super Bowls.
KennesawJack| 3.16.13 @ 6:48PM
And Iron City!
Joellen| 3.16.13 @ 7:59PM
CJW, The Tea Party Marched at the Belmar St Patricks Parade. Mostly got applaudes, few boos.
There were three different Tea Party Groups,
East Jersey; West Jersey & Jersey City.
One liberal yells out "You people are a bunch of racist".
This while we had three BLACK MEN walking with us. CANT MAKE THIS UP!
They is IGNORANT (did I spell that right Tim?) as well as hopeless.
CJW| 3.16.13 @ 8:46PM
Joellen
Maybe the liberal was color blind. Or maybe he is just trained to say racist.
TLP| 3.17.13 @ 9:45AM
Yes, Joellen, you did spell "that" correctly.
Although, you did spell "Abhorrent" wrong.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 4:40PM
I usually have Tom Daschle do my Taxes.
Kwan| 3.16.13 @ 1:02PM
Historical Event: Operation Barbarossa
Operation Barbarossa was the code name for the German invasion of the Soviet Union on June 22, 1941. Over 4 million soldiers of the Axis powers invaded the USSR along a 1800 mile front. Operation Barbarossa was the largest military operation in human history in both manpower and casualties. Hitler had been raving about something called Lebensraum –living space- for years and that living space was to be found in Russia’s huge land mass. The German's divided their forces into three Army Groups: North, Center and South. Army Group North's objective was to seize the Baltic states and then capture Leningrad. Army Group Center was to advance through Smolensk and ultimately capture Moscow, and Army Group South was to seize the Ukraine, southern Russia, and ultimately the oil-fields in the Caucasus. Caucasus. The Germans seriously underestimated Soviet military strength and production, the amount of resistance that the Red Army would be able to provide, and the geographical obstacles facing them. As a result, while the initial German attacks scored great successes, the objectives that they hoped to reach were very far beyond their means.
Kwan| 3.16.13 @ 1:04PM
Ultimately the German offensive stalled in the mud of Russia's Autumn rains, before being stopped, within site of the Kremlin, by the Russian Winter and fierce Soviet counter-attacks which included the use of the much feared “Howling Messengers of Death” the Katyusha rockets. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEBXkbX0z3o The Red Army’s counter-offensive 1944-1945 that ended up in downtown Berlin along with the Allied D-Day invasion resulted in the surrender of Germany in May of 1945.
Analogy: Our own version of Der Fuhrer Barack Obama launched his Operation Barbarossa code named Operation Hope and Change on January 21, 2009. While Obama has continuously lied about his true objectives, it has now become clear that the objectives were to seize control of the health care system, increase unemployment and inflation, grow the welfare state, grow big government, grow the national debt, flood the country with illegal aliens, and with the resulting economic insolvency and chaos somehow convert our Constitutional Republic into a Totalitarian Socialist State. Like Hitler’s failed Operation Barbarossa Fuhrer Obama’s Operation Hope and Change will fail in its mission to destroy our Constitutional Republic.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.16.13 @ 1:29PM
Barbarossa translates as “Red Beard”; and as such, is always appropriate when discussing Obama, as it is reported that Michelle has been his Beard for years in their down low marriage.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 4:47PM
You guys spelled "Barbasol" wrong.
Kwan| 3.16.13 @ 7:24PM
There is also a similar report that Anthony Da Weiner is actually a beard for Huma Abedin and that Hillary is Huma's real sweetheart. As the story goes if you call Hillary’s residence in DC first thing in the morning, Huma answers the phone. Same thing late at night and on the road. It’s a closely guarded secret that Hillary’s inner circle guards at all costs.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.16.13 @ 8:32PM
If he and Huma had a real married relationship, he wouldn't need to tweet images of his thinly draped junk to his followers.
Kwan| 3.16.13 @ 9:08PM
Which raises the question if Hillary wins the Presidency in 2016 will Huma be the First Lady? Concerned citizens want to know.
CJW| 3.16.13 @ 1:17PM
The talent here for poetry is incredible. We need two categories, one for poetry and one for prose. Or we could have some affirmative action and have quotas for those of us, me primarily, who cannot write poetry.
KennesawJack| 3.16.13 @ 2:23PM
CJW pleading for Affirmative Action. What is this world coming to? Must be Purp in disguise.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 4:51PM
There once was a Man from Chicago
Who had a Marriage that was Down Low
He lived in a House
And was quiet as a Mouse
Lest the world know that he was a Homo
See?
It's easy.
KennesawJack| 3.16.13 @ 3:18PM
Well, the yard work is done (and so is my back!)
My wife has decided to cut me some slack.
So, after a shower, I’m relaxed, sitting here
lovingly holding a cold Yuengling beer.
In a just few hours, to the sports bar we’ll go.
We’ll down a few beers and take in the show,
eat a few wings and watch the Syracuse beast
destroy Louisville and win the Big East!
On Monday I’ll collect from my bookie (that Shyster)
but tonight celebrate with a chilled Jaegermeister!
Life is so good! (Obamarx notwithstanding)
All it takes is some clear understanding
that this Marxist buffoon will, too, go away
and all will be well, at the end of the day.
But today Spring has come to us in the South
and tonight I'll hoist a Jaeger to my mouth.
I’ll cheer for my team (and my liberty, too!)
And in my mind, to Obamarx, I’ll be saying “F**k you!
CJW| 3.16.13 @ 3:37PM
KJack
Great work.
Ok, that was the unkindest cut of all to be compared to purpie. I am deservedly ashamed and will withdraw my application for affirmative action, special consideration, quotas, level playing fiedl, helping hand, and overall fairness. BTW, did I mention English is not my first language and I would have qualified for the help?
Still too cold in Pa for yard work. Enjoy the sports bar, and get a designated driver, I heard Mormons like Romney will do it.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 4:45PM
Don't get upset with him, CJW.
I'm sure that he meant: Alanwhateverhegoesbytoday Brooks.
Whom, I actually like.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 4:56PM
What's got me scratching my head is why he would say - Fork You - to Obama.
Alan's Girl| 3.16.13 @ 5:39PM
You spelled " Fluke you" wrong
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 6:57PM
About time you got here.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 6:58PM
And, it's Flucke You, by the way.
KennesawJack| 3.16.13 @ 11:23PM
Back home again, and in a funk.
My Syracuse Orangemen really stunk.
A sixteen point lead they couldn't hold.
At the end of the game, God, did they fold!
But the Jaeger was good, and so was the beer
so I suppose I'll have to be of good cheer.
Although they lost, and cost me a few bucks
I take solace in knowing Obamarx still sucks!
KennesawJack| 3.16.13 @ 11:27PM
So now off to bed, down the hallway I lurch.
Gotta get up early and be ready for Church.
(Why did I spend so much time at the bar!)
And goodnight, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.
KennesawJack| 3.16.13 @ 4:04PM
If English is not your first language, apparently it could have been. Sorry for the dig. Couldn't resist. After all, we DO have an affirmative action President, you know.
KennesawJack| 3.16.13 @ 5:56PM
Above in reply to my friend CJW. CJ, what is your native language?
CJW| 3.16.13 @ 6:13PM
K Jack,
Italian, or Eyetalian.
KennesawJack| 3.16.13 @ 6:21PM
Now tell me you know how to make scungilli fra diavalo and I will retract my smart-ass comment about affirmative action as well as show up at your house next Friday for dinner.
CJW| 3.16.13 @ 6:35PM
I can make fra diavolo sauce, but I use it with pasta.
Saute red hot peppers and garlic in extra virgn olive oil, add red or white wine ( or drink both), add diced tomatoes with basil and oregano. That is the basic sauce. You can add vodka to make vodka penne.
KennesawJack| 3.16.13 @ 6:57PM
Grazie!
CJW| 3.16.13 @ 7:09PM
Prego.
Joellen| 3.16.13 @ 8:03PM
Ronzoni and I'm there!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.16.13 @ 4:19PM
As I contemplate this week’s competing themes, I am inspired by CJW’s previous remarks, and am reminded of episode 14 of Seinfeld from Season 8, first aired on 020697, but repeated quite frequently in syndication. The episode is entitled “The Van Buren Boys”, and opens shortly after Kramer is confronted by a street gang known as the Van Buren boys. As he cringes in fear, his fingers curl up into the number 8 (which is the gang’s hand sign, as they are named after Martin Van Buren, the 8th President). Thinking he is one of them, the gang instead treats Kramer as a member (Speaking of Kramer, where is Michael Richards these days? Apparently the country can only abide one tall skinny guy who says racially divisive things at a time.)
George Costanza himself is later confronted by the gang, but is unsuccessful in flashing the sign to convince the hoods of his membership. To prove his bona fides, they demand that he mug someone, but he is unsuccessful in this endeavor, and even begs Jerry’s parents to pretend to be his victims to help pull off his ruse.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.16.13 @ 4:20PM
George represents Obama, and his false claim of membership in the Van Buren Boys are the lies he told about the impact of the sequester. As the public and even the fawning press (his fellow gang members) question his claim, he is forced to resort to outrageous behavior (shutting down aircraft carrier deployments, cancellation of White House tours) to justify his lies and try to save his behind at the expense of the pain of others.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 5:01PM
Now, THAT'S what we're talking about.
Albert, you never cease to amaze.
I'd erect a Statue of you in Monument Park at The Contest Compound, but my Judges would probably go there to pee.
Nicely done.
AGAIN.
Pecos Pete| 3.16.13 @ 8:25PM
Ol Tim would drop by Monument Park at The Contest Conpound, drop a puddle and a road apple. Then drink all of the booze, eat all of the canapes and win that weeks contest.
TLP| 3.17.13 @ 4:20PM
You spelled "Can of Peas" wrong.
CJW| 3.16.13 @ 6:43PM
Kramer can be Obama.
Kramer has no job, no skills, is known by one name, and is always dreaming up stupid ideas that do not work.
For example, he had an intern but nothing for the intern to do. He once got a job, put on a three piece suit, had a briefcase, and his boss told him after two days, that the report he did shows someone who has no knowledge of business and economics. Pure Obama.
He is always using Jerry's apartment, takes what he wants from Jerry's refrigerator, and takes Jerry's clothes. Spreading the wealth around.
TLP| 3.16.13 @ 7:01PM
That was FANTASTIC.
And, you thought you couldn't do it.
I smell Kaminsky's Credit Card Number.
CJW| 3.16.13 @ 7:11PM
K Jack inspired me.
Forgot to add, we can call Obama "president hipster doofus."
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.16.13 @ 8:30PM
Like I said, only one tall skinny racially divisive character at a time.
crankitup| 3.16.13 @ 6:15PM
be careful when you scratch your head you could get splinters. Is this the end, is that jim morrison I'm hearing in the background, my friend the end?
CJW| 3.16.13 @ 6:46PM
The soft parade has now begun...
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.16.13 @ 8:25PM
...Waiting♪♫ Waiting Waiting♪♫ Waiting...
CJW| 3.16.13 @ 8:38PM
Let's make this a collaborative effort with all the gang contributing, I did the first line,
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.16.13 @ 9:02PM
The soft parade has now begun...
Listen to Obama hum...
CJW| 3.16.13 @ 9:42PM
The soft parade has no begun...
Listen to Obama hum...
Obama on my left...
Rinos on my right, yeah...
Pecos Pete| 3.16.13 @ 8:48PM
Shore glad to see lots of my friends don't have to work on Satidy. Wa'll now, me and Ol Tim been out to the south by south-east pasture for the past 36 hours. Me kickin' fence posts and Ol Tim kickin' snakes that looked mighty sequestered which was jus fine with me. Had Vodka in the saddle bag for me, and scotch for Ol Tim. We done good.
Jus lak last week, the chuck wagon didn't have nough blankets, remindin' me of KingOcare. But slep on the ground neath a quarter moon, drank my vodka to empty and woke up to a New Mexico sunrise of brilliant red. Ol Tim looked mighty disappointed after sneakin' round most of the nite, lookin' for AnnaK or some other miserables to kick. We fixed the fences and trotted back to the barn lookin' forward to readin' and writin' at TAS. The problem is, Ol Tim is too tired and I'm too drunk. Tomorry will be here soon nough.
CJW| 3.16.13 @ 8:58PM
Senor Pete
Are you using John Kerry's teleprompter from Ohio in 2004 when he asked "Can I get me a huntin liezenz?"
Buenos noches.
BL in AK| 3.17.13 @ 2:11PM
Pecos- You live anywhere near Angel Fire in the Sangre De Cristo's?
I worked two years at Los Alamos NL ('91-'93), lived in town and at White Rock down the hill from the lab. NM is one of my favorite states. There is a large constituent of AK refugees in Silver City these days.
BL in AK| 3.17.13 @ 3:12PM
oops..large contingent, not constituent. It took my second cup of coffee to re-think it Aaarrgh!
Pecos Pete| 3.17.13 @ 4:22PM
About 50 miles south of Angel Fire, as the crow flies.
BL in AK| 3.17.13 @ 5:03PM
So the age old question in NM, red or green?
Pecos Pete| 3.17.13 @ 5:59PM
Green in the morning.
Red at noon.
Green and Red for dinner.
BL in AK| 3.17.13 @ 4:06AM
It is all about BHO's MO which can be traced back to his upbringing in Chi-town described in..
A Chicago Tale an American film during the turbulent era of the 1960s that follows a young Kenyan-Indonesian teenager as his path in life is guided by two father figures.
One day Barry Soetero witnesses a murder and is asked by the police to identify the perpetrator in a line-up outside of the neighborhood bar next door. Barry’s hero (Bill Ayers) is in the line-up, but the boy refuses to point him out to the police so the hero and the rest of his gang go free. From that day forward, Bill Ayers takes a liking to the boy. At home Barry and his dad discuss the deed.
Barry: We really fooled them, Dad. I didn't rat, Dad.
Barry’s Kenyan Father: No, you didn't rat.
Barry: I did a good thing, right?
Barry’s Kenyan Father: Yeah, you did a good thing for a bad man.
Barry: I did a good thing for a bad man. Why did you say I did a good thing for a bad man?
Barry’s Kenyan Father: Because sometimes you have to do things that aren't right. Do you understand?
Barry: No. It's just that I thought I did the right thing. Now I'm not sure I did.
Barry’s Kenyan Father: You did do the right thing. When you get older, you'll see.
BL in AK| 3.17.13 @ 4:12AM
The movie had a closing message.
“The saddest thing in life is wasted talent, and the choices that you make will shape your life forever.”
Some years later we hear:
“Benghazi violence was caused by an internet video & demonstrations”
“I think it’s important for us to understand that the Fast and Furious program was a field-initiated program begun under the previous administration”
“My budget will cut the deficit by $4 Trillion over 10 years.”
“The sequester is not something that I’ve proposed. It is something that Congress has proposed.”
It seems a trend has been established. I wonder if any law abiding folks will notice.
Have a Happy St Patty's Day all !
cheerz
BL
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.17.13 @ 8:46AM
In “A Bronx Tale”, Chaz Palmitieri explains to Lilo Brancato some dating tips. He teaches him to open the passenger side door of the car for his date and let her get in, and further advises that if she then leans over and unlocks the driver’s door for him, she’s a keeper.
In your “A Chicago Tale” version, I suppose Bill Ayers gives dating tips like “If you take a woman to dinner, and orders for the whole country, saving the desserts for just herself, she’s the one” (though he might also advise to test her recipes for bomb throwing, something I’m sure he did with Bernadine Dohrn).
BL in AK| 3.17.13 @ 2:04PM
Chaz's tip worked for me in my 1991 F-150 back in '94. Although she doesn't have to reach over now, only has to hit the electronic unlock button in my '08 Tundra! Built in America of course.
TLP| 3.17.13 @ 4:24PM
How did you ever teach your Husky to use the Unlock Switch?
I'm impressed.
BL in AK| 3.17.13 @ 5:06PM
Lotsa kibbles and bits
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.17.13 @ 12:13PM
Okay, as Joellen did so eloquently in her earlier tribute to Danny Boy, in honor of the feast of Saint Patrick, I recall a song I used to hear played over and over again in the Irish bars where I did much damage to my liver for a few decades.
One song which was a favorite was the story of an Irish mixed marriage, "The Orange and the Green", in which a lad who was the issue of a Protestant father and a Catholic mother would sing of the competitive struggle by both sides to claim him as one of their own.
Of course, as a country and a world, we're dealing with a similar issue, and I rewrote the song in honor of a well known product of such a union, and the effect it is having on a larger, more important one:
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.17.13 @ 12:14PM
Oh, it is the biggest mix-up about which words were said.
My dad a Kenyan communist my ma a Kansas Red.
My father was from Kenya and he had many wives.
My mother born in Kansas where her parents had their lives.
Though I have dreams of my father I’m more like her because
I was named for my father just like my mother was.
Oh, it is the biggest mix-up about which words were said.
My dad a Kenyan communist my ma a Kansas Red.
Some say Franklin Davis Marshall he really was my pa
and he had naked pictures of my adolescent ma.
It doesn’t really matter though it might cause some sparks,
Whoever was my father ‘cause my granddaddy was Marx
Oh, it is the biggest mix-up about which words were said.
My dad a Kenyan communist my ma a Kansas Red.
I was born there in Hawaii I say to you with mirth
Because there is confusion from the record of my birth.
The folks in Kenya claim me, and others do so quip
and I will tell the same tale if it means a scholarship.
Oh, it is the biggest mix-up about which words were said.
My dad a Kenyan communist my ma a Kansas Red.
Now my father, soon he moved on, but ma was not alone
and soon Lolo Soetoro was the one who made her moan.
so we flew off to Jakarta and while they had me there
I learned of all the beauty in the Muslim call to prayer
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.17.13 @ 12:15PM
Oh, it is the biggest mix-up about which words were said.
My dad a Kenyan communist my ma a Kansas Red.
We came back to Hawaii and it was quite a boom.
I spent my days just getting high with friends the gang of choom.
though grandpa’s best friend black Frank was with us days and nights this somehow scared my grandma as is typical of whites.
Oh, it is the biggest mix-up about which words were said.
My dad a Kenyan communist my ma a Kansas Red.
I went to Occidental though folks there can’t recall.
And then on to Chicago to help teach the word of Saul
To Harvard then for Law School to head the Law Review
But no one can remember if I wrote a word or two
Oh, it is the biggest mix-up about which words were said.
My dad a Kenyan communist my ma a Kansas Red.
I went back to Chicago and I met Reverend Wright.
Who’d rant about the white man at the pulpit day and night
But while he would speak of some things I guess by now you know
There’s a love that he won’t speak of that is kept on the down low
Oh, it is the biggest mix-up about which words were said.
My dad a Kenyan communist my ma a Kansas Red.
I began my run for office from the home of William Ayers.
Proclaimed I loved the White Sox and a big fan of the Bears
I spoke at the convention from a teleprompter read
Not the first lie or the last in the words that I there said
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.17.13 @ 12:16PM
Oh, it is the biggest mix-up about which words were said.
My dad a Kenyan communist my ma a Kansas Red.
First Senator then President my path to both was swift.
I swore by my election that the world would get a lift
But I had no new solutions so instead I would just spend
And after my first four years it now seems the world will end
Oh, it is the biggest mix-up about which words were said.
My dad a Kenyan communist my ma a Kansas Red.
Oh, it is the biggest mix-up about which words were said.
My dad a Kenyan communist my ma a Kansas Red.
BL in AK| 3.17.13 @ 1:59PM
Albert- That was awesome stuff!
TLP| 3.17.13 @ 4:28PM
You spelled "Awful" wrong.
7-08| 3.17.13 @ 12:25PM
Thanks everyone.
My mother is 93 today and I will be busy with family, corned beef, cabbage and reminiscing over photo albums.
TLP, I have only done a couple of these but they certainly exercise the brain tissue. You have quite a following, you actually have to think.
TLP| 3.17.13 @ 4:29PM
There once was a Man from Chicago
Who had a Marriage that was Down Low
He lived in a House
And was quiet as a Mouse
Lest the world know that he was a Homo
TLP| 3.17.13 @ 4:30PM
I think we've found our Winner.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.17.13 @ 4:47PM
If only he was quiet as a mouse...
TLP| 3.17.13 @ 4:55PM
You got that right.
BL in AK| 3.17.13 @ 5:02PM
You spelt fumagation wrong
Pecos Pete| 3.17.13 @ 5:14PM
The Molester
There is a molester
Reid the gangster
Pelosi the grifter
Whatever, no jester
Could out barrister
Obama the sequesterer‼
♪♫♪
The disaster
From the corrupter
And the distorter
Constitution as bathwater
Congress as bedwetter
Obama the sequesterer‼
♪♫♪
Class war igniter
Aided by newscaster
And Carney the parroter
Law rejecter
Food declined, no taster
Obama the sequesterer‼
♪♫♪
There is a molester
He is a shyster
Not a repenter
Dishonorable protester
King mobster
Obama the sequesterer‼
TLP| 3.17.13 @ 5:15PM
It's 5:00 O'clock. Time to put this latest installment of The Greatest Analogy Contest God ever gave Man.
255 Entries, Comments on Entries, and all of the Crap that I wrote.
Not Bad.
Meanwhile, over at Kaminsky's Blog, where we were supposed to be this weekend? 2 Comments. Mine, and Colonel mike's, which consisted of +1.
Priceless.
Colonel. Why have you deserted us?
Apparently, our little Movie Analogy Contest has morphed into a Poem Analogy Contest, as most of our Contestants go to Bed too early to actually go to a Movie.
That's okay.
The Poems were all Fantastic, and everyone who submitted one is a Winner this week. (Although, I think mine was the best)
Honestly? I miss the Show Tunes.
So, let's hand out the Prizes.
TLP| 3.17.13 @ 5:44PM
I gotta tell ya, this was a lot easier when we had about 20 Entrants.
One Winner, and One Loser - Hardcard - who, like mike 3/505, has abandoned us.
Every Gal that submitted a Poem gets Ross' Bnak Account Numbers. Unfortunately, all of his money is in Off-Shore Accounts and Archie Comic Books, and I can't get my hands on those numbers.
All of the Men who sent in Poems will recieve Ross' Address, which is 69 I'm Not Gay Lane, in Provincetown, Massachusetts.
Rickey Martin and CJW will recieve a Ticket to join Ross, and his Family, on their upcoming vacation to a Slum adjacent to the Open Sewers in Somolia. (You might wanna bring a Fly Swatter, and something for Projectile Diarrhea.
Special Mentions go to Albert (of course) who will recieve a Statue in Monument Park, at The Contest Compound, which will double as a Latrine for The Contest's Judges, and a place for Ol Tim to empty his Kidneys and his Bowels.
Mr. Kwan, and Moe will recieve 2 Tickets to a Mud Wrestling Exhibition between Rachel Maddow and Joy Behar, and a Barf Bag.
And, Alan's Girl gets a Framed Picture of Me, stomping my "Foot" on the Ground, because she's so Nasty.
TLP| 3.17.13 @ 5:51PM
I don't know what to say.
Once again, the SANE people on this site have made another weekend (without football) bearable.
davivh has alluded that, as a Cohesive Force, we could make a difference on some other sites.
I disagree.
This is Play Time. Time away from the Trolls, the Idiots, and the Morons.
This is OUR TIME.
And, I wouldn't trade it, for anything.
God Bless all of you, and I'll see Ya'all tomorrow.
TLP| 3.17.13 @ 5:56PM
Ladies and Gentlemen.
A man for all seasons.
Albert Constantine Jr.
Where would we be, without him?
Take it away, Mr. C.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.17.13 @ 5:59PM
Many thanks, TLP. While the holiday weekend and last week’s mini-contest may have drained away some of the enthusiasm from this week’s festivities, there was still a hard core cadre of entries this week, running the gamut from film to classic TV, to poetry and song parodies, and the ever expanding body of digital artwork used to moon (_!_) (_*_) ( O ) (_+_) the current POTUS and his administration.
While John II and Tina B. joined the Colonel on the list of absent friends, we did have a bunch of the usual gang. Our gracious host TLP once again used his week to scout out a suitable location (particularly challenging in light of a member of the paid staff’s subsequently withdrawn offer to allow Tim to host the contest at his blog spot) and sift through his bag of analogies to confuse us with this week’s opening pitch.
There was a strong start this week with 7-08’s multi-stanza entry, which left the proprietors of All-You-Can Eat Buffets around the mid-Atlantic nervous. R Martin again showed less is more, or more is less, and then tossed dual ideas of “MacBeth” and “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” into the witches’ brew. CJW polished up his green credentials during the St. Paddy’s Day weekend by recycling “The Sting”, and kept open the Doors to Seinfeld, a perennial favorite. Senor Pete showed that he is as skilled at poetry as he is at animal husbandry, and crankitup played the Hard card.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.17.13 @ 6:00PM
Li’l Jen conjured up the Li’llest Mermaid, and also set out to take back Fleetwood Mac from the left. Joellen evoked the old Irish standard, as well as cheered us with her optimism. John Navratil applied the frequent favorite and famous “Deny, Deny, Deny” scene that Saul Alinsky must have mistakenly submitted via the blacklisted Hollywood Ten, instead of including it in the video for “Rules for Radicals”. Kennesaw Jack showed one if by land, and two for one if the bar is having a special, and added his poetry. Alan’s Girl stepped away from the eyeshades, adding machine and Turbotax Timmy’s book of alibis to get some words in edgewise.
Kwan showed his broad worldview and understanding of history to illustrate the danger of a current aspiring totalitarian, and BL showed that a gangster is a gangster is a gangster.
With brief visits from Al Adab, Subvet and Drunken Sailor, along with the artistic renderings of Moe Blotz and the wise medical advice of AuH2O Girl, and davidh, whose vision of the contest is of a movement (sort of like the Spanish Civil War-the First Conservative Poets Brigade: TLP-commanding). Warrior also posted under the name he is known by in the Muslim World-Mustafa Drink (or is it Mustafa Link?).
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.17.13 @ 6:06PM
It is critical that conservatives learn to do a better job of getting out our message. Every other week or so, there is an intensive three day seminar on how we can use ridicule to help take back the narrative from the left.
Our host TLP is correct that first and foremost, it is fun. It also helps restore morale.
Still, the more that the pretender in chief is mocked, the sooner we stand a chance of wresting some of our nation back away from the destructive force currently gripping the executive branch, the Senate and way too much of the judiciary.
As they are driven from office, hopefully, they will hear the chorus of our rhyme, our songs and the mocking laughter of our "Yadda Yadda Yadda".