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Ben Stein's Diary

Agony and Ecstasy

Dispatches from our hero’s private oasis. From Ben’s monthly print Diary.

(Page 3 of 3)

I think I will just stay in bed here in the Garage Mahal with Julie until I expire. Outside, life is too frightening.

But outside, there is also Sandpoint, Idaho, and Lake Pend Oreille, and I am already itching to get back there and zoom around on my boat. I am also itching to walk around town and cruise around on my bicycle and say hello to all of my friends.

Maybe this is the way it is when world situations are collapsing: People just stay in their own little corners and hide with their Julie Good Girls.

Maybe tonight I will go see Skyfall again. I have seen it at least nine times now and know every word, look, and gesture. It is by far my favorite action movie. It is clear to my wife and me by now that Judi Dench, who plays the British spymistress, “M,” is really the villain (not the same “M” I had lunch with yesterday). Javier Bardem is no hero, but he is a very impressive character. The movie really is about relations between and among mothers and sons. Did you know that Ian Fleming, who wrote the original James Bond books, called his mother “M”? He did. It explains a lot.

Wlady told me long ago that possibly the only thing that lasts is old crushes. And who is the original crush?

As I mosey back to bed, I never forget, not for a moment, that my sleep, my rest, my dog, my liberty are all protected by men and women in uniform, by military, by police, by firefighters, and some not in uniform, the FBI, the CIA, the NSA, and by the teachers, too, and prosecutors and prison guards (I guess they are in uniform) and by parents and nurses and doctors and probation officers. I don’t just get to lie here with Julie by fate. Someone is making it happen.

I am grateful.  

Page:   1 23

About the Author

Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes “Ben Stein’s Diary” for every issue of The American Spectator.

Letter to the Editor View all comments (25) |

EastTexasRancher| 2.28.13 @ 7:02AM

Dear Ben Stein,
I love your heart of gratitude. But there is a verse from Psalms you need to complete your life. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. Now, take a deep breath. Breathe in, breathe out, trust God.
B. Gunn
East Texas Rancher

Peppermint Tea | 2.28.13 @ 10:50AM

We TAS readers love you too, Ben.

Just not a much as the moochers you write a check to every month.

C Smith | 2.28.13 @ 10:54AM

Verses from Zechariah you need to complete your life:

After the time of Jacob's Trouble, (The Final Holocaust): "... saith the LORD, two parts therein shall be cut off and die; but the third shall be left therein.... And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The LORD is my God" (Zechariah 13:8-9).

"And I will pour upon the house of David, and upon the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the spirit of grace and of supplications: and they shall look upon me whom they have pierced, and they shall mourn for him, as one mourneth for his only son, and shall be in bitterness for him, as one that is in bitterness for his firstborn.
In that day shall there be a great mourning in Jerusalem, as the mourning of Hadadrimmon in the valley of Megiddon" (Zechariah 12:10-11).

http://theisraelofgod.blogspot.....aphat.html

TXRPLS| 3.1.13 @ 6:00AM

To: B. Gunn

Nice to know there is another christian in East Texas that reads Ben Stein.

W. Green
East Texas Surveyor

SCrouch| 3.1.13 @ 2:06PM

Even more than that...

S. C.
East Texas Engineer

Frank Drackman| 2.28.13 @ 7:13AM

Back when I had my own award winning blog I did a mean Larry King satire, you know the bit...
.....Why isn't tuna more popular?...
.....For my money nothing was funnier than Bob Hope in Black Face...
but Ben's onto something, and I'm not talkin about his affinity for Nordic Ice Princesses...
Just for fun, try to find the ratio of:
Blacks murdered by Whites/Whites murdered by Blacks.
Shouldn't be that hard right? $ 15 trillion deficit, Censuses that ask more personal questions than my Life Coach(AKA Mom)instead of just how many peoples live under my roof...
And to be fair, you can find the info, infact I know the answer, could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you, perhaps skewering the data...
And its a logial phallic-sy, because with E-ville White Peoples still being the majority(Barely) and Afro Americans 14% of the Population(seems like more) shouldn't the ratio be ummm roughly 3??
Except it's not, not even close...

Frank

Occam's Tool| 2.28.13 @ 7:37PM

Dear Ben, you bloody moron: an exercise in basic algebra.

Suppose that X = 3 Y.

Then, is .28 X equal to .70 y, greater than .70y, or less than .70 y. The answer is greater than .70 y. I mention this because .28 and .70 are the maximum tax rates in the Reagan and Carter administrations, and X and Y represent the DJI (as a proxy for the GNP) in those two administrations.

We need to GROW our way out of this mess, you demented baboon. The best way to deal with our mess is to start by approving drilling in ANWR and approving Keystone. Go from THERE.

Taxing productivity is a moron's game. See Vonnegut's "Harrison Bergeron."

What will work for poor Black families is very simple. Set up all aid given for children to be higher if the couple is married. See what happens. Simple intervention, complex good results. Complex intervention, simple (and bad results).

Frank: I think Ben refers to "Big" wifey in the same context that my wife is "She Who Must be Obeyed."

Frank Drackman| 2.28.13 @ 7:18AM

"Big" Wifey???
umm thats a joke right, like how morbidly obese people are called "Tiny", or how we called the blackest guy on my YMCA basketball team "Whitey"...

Frank

Bill8472| 2.28.13 @ 10:02AM

At least you didn't call him "Snowflake."

Marc Jeric| 2.28.13 @ 7:47AM

Ben Stein should apply his penmanship to this problem: We conservatives and Republicans are called names such as "right wingers", "naxis", and "fascists"; while our socialists and communists and racists call themselves "liberals" and "progressives".
Well - Hitler's party was officially "German National-Socialist Workers Party; Mussolini's party was called officially "Italian Socialist Party".

Lyneuss Fields | 2.28.13 @ 10:49AM

Your Conservatives are getting soaked by America's electorate, Marc. That's because you need to attract more Latino, Africans and Women. That's because our Tea Party friends don't handle dissent very well, or perhaps you've never heard their acronym RINO? The message here brother is to buy a bigger umbrella so we can all enjoy winning general elections.

Bill8472| 2.28.13 @ 9:59AM

George Orwell has observed several times that human social life involves an interesting phenomenon: there are things that we want that we perceive as desirable, but the means we have to employ in order to achieve the things we want are sometimes so bad that we can't bring ourselves to use them.

A dialogue on race -anywhere in the world, not just the U.S.- is one of those things. It would probably be a net good thing if blacks and whites could actually sit down and speak their minds. The problem is that one side gets offended and accuses the other of racism when that sort of thing begins. The means by which we discuss racial issues meaningfully is so repulsive to us that we can't do it.

C. Vernon Crisler | 2.28.13 @ 10:00AM

Maybe someone should write an article "I, Bagel" and explain to Ben the chilling effects on economic activity of higher taxes.

Bill8472| 2.28.13 @ 10:03AM

Kafka: "Gregor awoke one morning to find that he had turned into a giant bagel..."

C. Vernon Crisler | 2.28.13 @ 1:34PM

;-)

Occam's Tool| 2.28.13 @ 7:40PM

Yeah: I wonder how the inventor of the toaster oven would have responded to higher taxes...

Ben is an attorney you see. With few honorable exceptions that I have cited before (Luv ya, Tony and Big E!), attorneys are parasitic drones who invent and design nothing except idiocy and its means of application.

Lyneuss Fields | 2.28.13 @ 10:30AM

Thanks for pressing the panic button Ben. Anyone interested in verifying Ben's National Income Accounting, concerning America's debt and unfunded liabilities, can find the numbers on usdebtcolock.org. Seeing this “Monster on The Loose” should scare the hell out of everyone.

SUBVET| 2.28.13 @ 10:38AM

Ben.........you had me until the raise "taxes" part

I should just skip to the comments from now on.....your a mess.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.28.13 @ 11:08AM

That skipping is a much wiser course...

PCC| 2.28.13 @ 11:16AM

The U.S. government doesn't need more taxes. It needs less spending and more revenue.

To achieve less spending, it needs less government. To achieve more revenue, it needs higher economic growth.

To achieve higher economic growth, it needs lower tax rates and less regulation.

Most of all, the U.S. must COMPETE in a globally competitive world. Global U.S. businesses already understand this, but domestic businesses only understand this in a vague and episodic way, and the mass of the citizenry don't seem to understand it at all.

Yes, the Chinese and others want a bigger piece of the global economic pie for the betterment of their lives. Stop whining about it and do something about it.

Work harder, save more, lower taxes and regulations, put more effort into making the U.S. an attractive destination for investment by welcoming educated and well-capitalized foreigners and end the race-based, politically correct nonsense.

SUBVET| 2.28.13 @ 1:34PM

pcc........your preaching to the peanut gallery

untill the pain exceeds the pleasure nothing is going to change.

Paul A'Barge | 2.28.13 @ 12:33PM

Mr Ben (may I call you "Mr Ben"?), I asked Amazon to ask the publisher of the book to deliver the book in a Kindle edition:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/digit.....1591139104

BShep| 2.28.13 @ 3:30PM

I will never understand how Walter Williams, Paul Krugman and Ben Stein all can call themselves economists and no one ever objects. It would be as if they all called themselves black. Only one is but no one could point out this obvious fact.

Ben, anytime you want to show us peons the light and pay more taxes just start filing your taxes using the short form. You will get so much satisfaction from doing so and the almighty government will be better off too.

You might want to stop calling your wife “Big”. I’ve seen her picture, you are wrong about this too.

Occam's Tool| 2.28.13 @ 7:45PM

BShep: Mr. Willians is a brilliant man with common sense. Mr. Krugman is an idiot savant with one area of brilliance (his Nobel was well deserved; his NYT articles my dog has refused to poop on, shaking her head sadly---her poop deserves better than that.) Ben is just a spastic moron, whose comic shtick was based on his "appearing" to be verbally articulate and otherwise incredibly dense regarding human motives. To put it another way: Ben, Hollywood Call Girls are NOT an example of normal human moral functioning, nor are Hollywood actors. Nor are Washington Politicians. Nor are you.

As an UCLA psychiatrist in training who also treated multiple prostitutes, I know this. You seem to still be captivated by these people.

Let's rumble| 3.3.13 @ 9:45PM

No Ben, all we need to do is close a few loopholes. That's what your buddy Obama says. Why do you go off the reservation and say things like raise taxes? I don't consider anyone very smart at basic math that believes we could tax enough to raise a bjillions dollars let alone consider the effects on productivity. I just continue to NOT understand why you are given a voice here?

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