WASHINGTON — In the aftermath of the Super Bowl, it is perhaps
salutary to take stock of professional football and to suggest a
few reforms that might make the game more wholesome.
First, let me say that in my humble estimate this past season
was, if not the best in my lifetime, surely one of the best. To be
a mediocre player in the NFL today is to be a marked man among
giants. Then too there is another point to be made. Someone failed
to pay the electric bill. It was sobering to be reminded that even
the NFL is not so powerful as to intimidate a Louisiana utility
company. Next year I suggest that the NFL’s hierarchy see to it
that all bills are paid before Super Bowl Sunday, even the halftime
entertainments’ advances. What if Beyoncé had gone on strike or
refused to sing one of her trademark songs with their dirty, albeit
moronic, lyrics? Or what if she had dressed in a burka? Actually I
would have found that last gesture amusing and sophisticated to the
utmost, though the perpetual teenagers in the audience would
probably not have shared my amusement.
I cannot remember ever seeing so many great quarterbacks in the
league at one time as I did this season. They can all pass and run
superbly. Weight-training is paying off for all the players,
especially the receivers who grab in their powerful fingertips what
once they had to embrace with their whole upper bodies. They leap
through the air defiant of gravity, as do their attendant safeties.
Blockers and tacklers could have stopped oncoming trucks. The many
gifted runners seemed capable of switching gears as they rush
downfield, slithering through crowds of defenders and cutting to
the left and the right with abandon. As I say, this season I
suspect was the greatest in NFL history, and it was due to powerful
men on the field and to very cerebral coaches on the sidelines.
Yet there were also the injuries, and they were terrible.
Concussions were so prevalent that even Hillary Clinton got one. I
suspect it was a sympathy concussion from watching her New York
Giants too intently. Then there were the numerous joints that were
damaged severely. For instance, the splendid Robert Griffin III of
the resurgent Washington Redskins had a knee injured that will heal
only with divine intervention, a matter I think that this exemplary
Christian athlete is attending to. Yet his recovery will be dicey.
It was a horrible season for injuries.
Now certain public-spirited citizens are speaking out. They want
adjustments made. Helmets can be revised. Rules reinterpreted. More
rules prescribed. Gun control can — drat, I got carried
away. Though I note that the same mentality that is in a pother
over gun control often is aroused by football violence. Well, on
gun control they are wrong. In a country with over 280 million guns
in circulation and a Second Amendment in place, they
will get nowhere.
Yet with rule changes in football they may have a chance.
Frankly, I see the public-spirited reformers of professional
football coming out for ending those ferocious tackles and
propounding the implementation in the NFL of touch football or
possibly flag football. Imagine Adrian Peterson running fifteen
yards for a first down before Ray Lewis tags him in an utterly
civilized lunge or snatches the flag from his rear pocket with
style. If the NFL were to replace tackle football with touch or
flag football there would still be dangers. Those helmets really
can hurt. Perhaps they could be replaced with funny hats lined with
cushioning. Elbow and knees can cause a lot of pain. Again thick
cushioning could be prescribed. There are many alternatives that
can be employed against brute force.
Actually there seems to be a movement led by the athletes
themselves in this direction. The artistic demonstrations after a
mighty tackle or an overpowering touchdown run have been an
innovation that must have warmed the hearts of many reformers.
Those elegant dances are very tasteful and in the Super Bowl this
year I even detected routines employing the hands that showed real
artistic taste.
So maybe the time is ripe for the reformers to make a move
against tackle football and in favor of modern dance on the
gridiron, as it is called. Maybe it is only a matter of time before
the halftime entertainment overwhelms the game — Beyoncé appearing
in a chorus line with beefy linemen and even coaches. Call it the
ongoing feminization of America. I would not be surprised.
Photo: UPI
