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Ben Stein's Diary
Before and After Philadelphia
Oxford on the Eastern Shore was another world.
Monday
I am still in DC. It is freezing
cold here. I packed up my miserable rags and put them in my
miserable suitcase and headed down to the splendid Watergate Lobby.
As I left the elevator, I heard a woman singing in the most
beautiful voice I have ever heard.
What was it? Kiri Te Kanawha on the radio? Maria Callas?
No. It was Tashea, our stunningly gorgeous desk clerk at the Watergate. She was putting mail in our mailboxes. As she did, she sang. But I mean she sang in perfect pitch and melody and with an emotional urgency I have never heard in person — and I have been to the Metropolitan Opera many times.
Not that it should matter, but Tashea is a young single mother of two-year-old twins. She is only 20 years old. She works sometimes 14 or 16 hours straight. She is always helpful, always well prepared for any problems that pop up at the Watergate.
This woman makes Adele (whom I adore) sound like a vacuum cleaner. I was simply awed. The doorman and I burst into applause and Tashea looked embarrassed. If this woman had the right connections, she would be as big a star as there could be.
Anyway, up to Philadelphia, where the parking rules are peculiar. There was no reservation for me at the Loews Hotel, but somehow we found it, and I went to my room, and then out for Starbucks tea. Then, back to my room to (yes!!!) watch Skyfall on LodgeNet. This was not even close to as good as seeing it in a theater, but still great. It gives such a deep insight into how inept government is that it would be a perfect recruiting tool for the GOP.
I was ecstatic and went to bed happy. Only I know it, but Skyfall is about me and my mother.
Tuesday
A speech to a great group from La
Salle University. These people could not have been more pleasant,
good looking, and intelligent. Just the perfect audience. I wish I
could just have them travel around with me for a month. Brother
Michael, head of the school, was a true gem.
Then, into the car with my driver and pal, Bob, to head down to the Eastern Sho’ for crabcakes. As we left the hotel we saw a long, tall woman in tight jeans and high heels swing past. Bob and I were speechless at the impression she made. I am sorry. I know this is not PC, but much of life is about beauty.
We drove to Oxford just as the sun was setting over the Bay. The weather had warmed up a great deal (thank you, Exxon-Mobil). I walked by myself down the old brick sidewalk to the Robert Morris Inn, past neat white clapboard houses with antiques and incandescent lights, no Bolshevik fluorescence. Contented-looking people sitting in their living rooms reading books. It was peaceful. The walk reminded me of walking home to Harvey Road in Silver Spring along Dale Drive in 1960. I love solitary walks in the dusk. How long ago that was. Walks after working until late on our school newspaper, “Silver Chips.” Long time passing. You could smell leaves burning those days. Another world.
At the Inn, I met up with Bob and we had spectacularly good cream of crab soup.
Then, back to Easton to have crabcakes at the Tidewater Inn. Heavenly.
I am so happy to be in happy, everyone gets along America instead of angry, everyone fights with everyone Egypt or Libya or Syria. Just grateful, grateful, grateful.
Now, I am home at the Watergate, about to go to sleep. I am a happy camper.
About the Author
Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes “Ben Stein’s Diary” for every issue of The American Spectator.
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SC| 1.30.13 @ 6:19AM
..it's -- Te Kanawa--....!!
...If you're gonna throw people's names around, either YOU..or at least whatever passes for a copy-editor , here,--should at least spell-check a famous Opera-singer's name
Anthony| 1.30.13 @ 1:05PM
I was going there too SC. But let's cut our Benny some slack, who knew our Benny went to the MET?
Hey Benny, see ya next month with L' Elisir d'Amore.
I'll look for you up in the cheap seats in Family Circle.
SC| 1.30.13 @ 6:50PM
Anthony:
I also found it laughable that Stein couldn't tell the difference between Kiri and Callas, and thought it might be either one.....
BTW..I hope you are really in the cheap seats for L'Eliser.. IM (very) HO..it is a DREADFUL production...
Bill Hussein O'Stalin| 1.30.13 @ 6:31AM
Well Ben, I'm carrying on a tradition for you in Silver Spring. I have a rather isolated lot with a fire ring where I burn leaves occasionally. Yes, it's illegal but I rarely see anyone around even though I live in a congested area by a Metro station.
In fact, the only time I have been visited by the authorities was when someone stole my car from the University of Maryland and used it in a string of shotgun robberies. Since it was my car the young police officers who responded were convinced by that fact alone that I was the ringleader of a robbery gang when they knocked on my door. They kept their hands on their guns and, boy, were they nervous.
About the time they knocked was the time I found out my car had been stolen. Within a few minutes I showed them my retired credentials and they relaxed. Later that night I had the pleasure of observing my car on the evening news as it was being chased by multiple police departments before it crashed into a tree right on the District line.
Over the next several months I received multiple tickets from those computerized speed cameras. I had to send off multiple letters to straighten that mess out. I never saw it again. It got lost in the maze of the DC police department and the city justice system.
After 5 months the insurance company agreed that not only was it stolen, but the DC government had misplaced it. It was never found.
That would be your ad for broken government.
Jack in Wi| 1.30.13 @ 6:59AM
Hussain: Are you trying to steal Ben's job here? Ben with all due respect. Most pretty, young girls don't like old leches drooling over them. How does your wife let you out in public alone? Try to stay away from the cream of crab soup, and crab cakes. At your age your arteries don't need the extra fat. All this travel and resturant food is killing you.
Joellen| 1.30.13 @ 7:10AM
Bill - am still laughing - thanks, I needed that!
Minuteman78| 1.30.13 @ 2:45PM
You mean they lost YOUR CAR?
ONLY GOVERNMENT could be so inept!
Joellen| 1.30.13 @ 7:10AM
And by the way - did you know his good friend is Eliot "Steamroller" Spitzer?
CJW| 1.30.13 @ 8:25AM
Eliot prefers the name "client no. 9."
Bob Grant| 1.30.13 @ 8:41AM
Joellen,
If one looked up the definition of Elite, one would see a picture of Mr. Stein.
Elites think alike and like being around other "elites", which would include Mr. Spitzer.
BobSledd| 1.30.13 @ 7:14AM
Ben...you...you Ben Stein...have plenty of connections.. YOU are in apposition to help that young talent...so...please do so...it sounds like she needs that one break...maybe watch a little less Skyfall and make a call for the kid...That's what we adults do when we can help a kid out. just do it Ben
C. Vernon Crisler | 1.30.13 @ 11:42AM
The problem is there are a whole lot of good singers out there. You can listen to a lot of them on You Tube. Help from Ben Stein may not go very far though he can perhaps offer to sponsor her. She might do better by going to talent competitions and try to get on AGT, etc.
R Martin| 1.30.13 @ 7:49AM
Mr. Stein seems to have outdone himself with this one, pure twaddle. And a dose of leftist nonsense.
Warm weather thanks to Exxon Mobile?! Why didn't you thank George Bush?
CJW| 1.30.13 @ 8:27AM
Ben has perfected the Seinfeld art of saying nothing. Wonder what his speech at LaSalle, a very good school, was about?
Anthony| 1.30.13 @ 1:15PM
R, Benny's still in a snit because Benny's computer still has that virus from downloading porn. Benny gets testy when he can't download porn.
Poor Benny, Mrs. Benny has him on the couch until he gives up his porn. Life's a bitch, eh Benny?Oh, and Benny, with all the capital gains from my wonderful Exxon -Mobil stock, I can get orchestra tickets for the MET.
Ta ta sucker.
gene| 1.30.13 @ 8:01AM
IF this woman had the right connections?
What ARE YOU Benjamin?
WHERE are you?
YOU are not a "connection"?
spike59| 1.31.13 @ 6:09AM
his libtard undershorts are showing...maybe he was hoping there was a gubmint program for her
Bob Grant| 1.30.13 @ 8:31AM
"Thank you Exxon Mobil".
What a clown. Congrats Mr. Stein on spreading this false narrative that will eventually condemn most of us, our family, and friends to poverty.
But in typical lib fashion, you think you and your clan will be immune.
Think again!!!!
Bob Grant| 1.30.13 @ 8:35AM
And by the way, your weird fascination with Skyfall is bizarre, to say the least. And if you constantly mention Skyfall just to tweak your readers, that's equally bizarre.
Come to think of it, you're a weird little guy.
R Martin| 1.30.13 @ 9:32AM
Mr. Stein offered a little more “Skyfall” information today. He said the movie is about him and his mother. Sorta makes me think he is trying a back door entry into the analogy contest, weak as it may be, without identifying which “Skyfall” characters resemble the Stein family. We’d like to know, Ben.
Peppermint Tea | 1.30.13 @ 11:09AM
Skyfall was about Ben and his mother? The old lady must had told a sniper to take a shot that might hit him. Yeah, that kinda stuff happens to all of us at some point.
Anthony| 1.30.13 @ 2:54PM
Notice how fat lit'le Benny has quite the carbon footprint, with all his flying and driving?
Yet fat lit'le Benny sqawks about Exxon-Mobil.
I'd like to compare Benny's carbon footprint to that of Al jezerra Gore's.
Both are fat, hypocrite slobs.
Hardcard| 1.30.13 @ 8:52AM
His speech was about making more $$$ from appearence fees. Yesterday I awoke to coffee and a toasted bagel with butter purchased from my local supermarket, for lunch I had a ham and swiss on a roll, purchase from the same supermarket and for dinner I had a take-out from Boston Market 1/2 chicken (dark), mashed potatos with gravy, corn nibblets and corn bread and a cookie for dessert I also got 10% senior citizen discount. At Boston Market as I ordered my meal, a very cute young girl with a lovely tattoo on her neck dishished out my food with a beautiful smile and ample bulging breasts. I can do this crap article for TAS every day, hey E.Bob how about it? I work cheap.
Pecos Pete| 1.30.13 @ 9:00AM
Hardcare: You done good! But you stole my comment. Except for the Boston Market thing. My most favorite place is Walmart where the checkout females are simply ... stunning.
See you Friday at the Contest.
Bob Grant| 1.30.13 @ 9:01AM
Hardcard,
You need to be more descriptive of the lovely young ladies you encounter on a daily basis.
I.E., the cute young girl you met at Boston Market needs to be amazingly beautiful...with the most mesmerizing tattoo I've ever laid eyes on...
Heck, just become a conservative version of Ben Stein and I'd read ya.
Peppermint Tea | 1.30.13 @ 11:20AM
Yesterday I went for a walk at twilight on the country road. The frogs were no longer chirping thanks to George W. Bush, but it brought me back to a better time when I was young and Nixon was president. I was young back then and longed for beauty...and beauty...and a German short hair to nap with during the day. Little did I know my dreams would come true and Watergate would just be an apartment building where beautiful knocked-up teen mothers sing while sorting mail. If I was younger, I could get her connected, but it would require some connecting on her own if you know what I mean.
But here on the country road the female species has really put all of us in trance because of their perfume, beauty, and...should I tell you about the size and shape and pointees on that Holstein that looked my way?
Minuteman78| 1.30.13 @ 2:49PM
For girl-watching, I go for the Lowe's Home Improvement types. Usually on the Plus Size side, but strong and not afraid of tools or hard work. To really reward myself, though, it's off to the Lane Bryant shop.
Cobalt| 1.30.13 @ 9:34AM
Mr. Stein, if you have an interest, the next time you drive up to Philadelphia stop by the Brandywine River Museum in Chadds Ford. They have collections on American Illustration, and three generations of Wyeths. Well worth your time.
You might enjoy dining at Talula's Table in Kennett Square, but you will need to make a reservation one year in advance. However, you can eat with the truckers and local folks at Hank's Place in Chadds Ford, without making a reservation.
Also, on your next trip to Greenville, South Carolina you might enjoy visiting the Greenville County Museum of Art. They have the largest and most complete collection of Andrew Wyeth's watercolors found in any public museum in the world.
Hardcard| 1.30.13 @ 9:37AM
I don't want to give it away. When E.Bob dumps benny and puts me on the TAS payroll you'll see my A game.
Derek Leaberry| 1.30.13 @ 10:01AM
I still miss the broiled and baked crab cakes at the old Robert Morris Inn in Oxford. The Morris crab cakes were a true Eastern Shore delight.
RCV| 1.30.13 @ 1:54PM
At last, something we agree on! Those crab cakes were superb.
Derek Leaberry| 1.30.13 @ 5:00PM
And the Old Bay french fries.
spike59| 1.31.13 @ 6:11AM
get a room
DesertFlower| 1.30.13 @ 10:12AM
Ben, you say that if Tashea had connections, she would be a big star. You have connections. Why don't you help her?
Denver Todd| 1.30.13 @ 10:43AM
I have always liked the themes of the book Ordinary People, and the movie too, as it represents something important to me: the stronger lets go, the weaker holds on. But I have only read the book once and seen the movie a handful of times.
Michele San Pietro| 1.30.13 @ 12:24PM
I was in Philadelphia two years ago and did like this city very much. All American cities are beautiful, and it's not true at all they are all very similar to each other and impersonal.
JimH| 1.30.13 @ 12:59PM
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields
Hardcard| 1.30.13 @ 4:00PM
I was in Philadelphia also a couple of times the city center is very nice but don't leave that space because Phillie is in a state of urban decay, crumbling buildings and a very busy police department. Check out it's sister city Camden New Jersey it's just over the bridge it's a war zone.
spike59| 1.31.13 @ 6:08AM
...isn't the kind of stuff that belongs on Facebook?