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Movie Takes
Anna Karenina
As sober and serious a treatment of Tolstoy’s novel as one is likely to see.
Tell me where is fancy bred,
Or in the heart or in the head?
How begot, how nourished?
Reply, reply.It is engend’red in the eyes,
With gazing fed, and fancy dies
In the cradle, where it lies.
Let us all ring fancy’s knell;
I’ll begin it. Ding, dong, bell.
The Joe Wright-Tom Stoppard production of Anna Karenina certainly agrees with Shakespeare’s opinion, in The Merchant of Venice, about where sexual passion comes from. “Fancy” in the sense of sexual longing — still the word’s most common semantic association in the United Kingdom — is indeed bred in the eyes, both those of the characters and those of the audience. Accordingly, the film-makers offer us a visual feast of glittering surfaces to match the beauty of the actors playing its adulterous lovers, poor doomed Anna (Keira Knightley) and her ardent Vronsky (Aaron Taylor-Johnson). Perhaps by way of further stressing the superficiality as well as the fatal allure of this surfeit of beauty, they also set the whole drama in a theatre whose painted backdrops and backstage machinery are placed periodically on view, before dissolving into more realistic settings, in order to complement the highly-wrought artifice both of the 19th century Russian social context and, more surprisingly, the passion that beats itself to death against its constraints.
The effect is further enhanced by sumptuous costumes and interiors and a discontinuous narrative that comes across more as a series of tableaux vivants than a conventional movie. Operatic emotion is given a quasi-operatic setting, but without the music — or with Dario Marianelli’s more movieish score in its place. The result of all this stylization is to drain some of the passion from Tolstoy’s story and its traditional sort of screen adaptation and so to repel and defeat our natural desire to identify ourselves with Anna. As she cannot resist being swept away by feelings, so we cannot not resist, in this context of artifice and theatricality, and must therefore look on her with something more of Tolstoy’s moral perspective than is commonly the case with adaptations of his novel. The movie’s justification must therefore be that it brings something new to the franchise, and something more in keeping with the spirit of the original.
Some critics have found it boring for this reason, but they should consider the possibility that their palates are too jaded by emotional excess to be pleased by the sort of moral drama that we associate with Shakespeare or Jane Austen. Yet this Anna Karenina isn’t like either of those authors either. It’s more a masque than a play — let alone a movie — and so might be better compared to Milton’s Comus, a celebration of sexual continence which has something of the same exultation in finding a moral template to fit on nature, though without the complementary tragedy of the woman who has thrown away her moral compass. Tolstoy’s undoubted sympathy for his tragic heroine tends to run away with the story as it is told today; this is a reminder that moderation of compassion may be as desirable as moderation of passion. Jude Law’s remarkable Karenin is also given an unusual measure of sympathy for this reason.
The exultant bits are of course in the parallel love story of Kitty (Alicia Vikander) and Levin (Domhnall Gleeson), whose down-at-heels country estate and what goes on there are given a more realistic presentation, and thus one more in keeping with the nature of the medium, than the claustrophobic, hot-house settings in Petersburg and Moscow which incubate Anna and Vronsky’s fatal fancy. As in Tolstoy, Kitty and Levin’s paradigmatic marriage offers its moral contrast with Anna’s illicit passion, but without suggesting the sort of authorial preachiness we might otherwise expect. It wouldn’t be easy for any movie to make a line like Levin’s — “Sensual desire indulged for its own sake is the misuse of something sacred” — sound other than jarring and unnatural. But I think this one manages it, and partly by the general lowering of the emotional temperature so as to allow its moral reasoning to emerge as reasonable and in accordance with nature rather than hectoring and imposed on us against our will. A fancy for goodness, bred in the mind, may in the end be as desirable as that for beauty, bred but also dying in the eyes.
Photo: UPI
About the Author
James Bowman, our movie and culture critic, is a resident scholar at the Ethics and Public Policy Center. He is the author of Honor: A History and Media Madness: The Corruption of Our Political Culture, both published by Encounter Books.
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Arnie| 1.29.13 @ 6:10AM
This IS an excellent film.
PolishKnight| 1.29.13 @ 10:38AM
I just saw the 1948 version a few months ago and enjoyed it.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt00.....fn_al_tt_3
RCV| 1.29.13 @ 11:54AM
How could watching Keira Knoghtly for a couple of hours be boring?
RCV| 1.29.13 @ 11:55AM
Knightly. I'm such a bad typist.
Roscoe| 1.29.13 @ 1:12PM
You apparently haven't tried to watch it.
Roscoe| 1.29.13 @ 1:15PM
If Ben Stein and Roger Kaplan ever collaborated on writing a screenplay, it would turn out like this.
C. Vernon Crisler | 1.29.13 @ 4:30PM
I have to say, I never cared much for Anna. She put her own romantic interests above her family, then topped of her sins by committing suicide. How destructive adultery is to children is a theme dramatists never seem to want to explore, except as an afterthought maybe.
cicero| 1.29.13 @ 5:42PM
Vern. The real majic of Tolstoy in this novel is that he makes you change your sympathies more than once over the characters. At first, you felt bad for Karenin, but further on, his spite turns you off. At first you fault Anna for her adolescent destructiveness. Later, you start to feel sorry for her. Vronsky begins as a dashing knight who is irresistable, but then turns into a selfish creep.
It seems that most of Tolstoy's novels explored the dynamics of family life, and what held families together. I think it was part of a lifelong self searching into his own being.
Recently read a beek report by a grandson in high school. Came to the conclussion that high school was too early to readd Tolstoy, then came to the conclusion that highschoolers shoul avoid Wyckipedia for their book reports.
Don't want to sound pedantic here, as I am only an amatuer student of literature and history, but I enjoy getting others opinions on such material. You folks are good correspondents.
TLP| 1.30.13 @ 6:34PM
What have I told you about Mr. Bowman's Articles?
If there's a Contest announced? You can pretty much rest assured that it will be at Mr. Bowman's Spot in the order.
And, here we are.
Welcome to today's Contest.
If you're like me? Last weekend Felt like something was missing. If, like me, you Love this Site, in spite of Ben Stein's, and Ben Stein Junior's - Kaminsky - Columns.
If, you're like me, you tune in on Saturday, hoping against all hope, that there'll be something going on, only to be left flat, like when you watched the Republicans fold Hillary's Pants Suits at the Benghazi Hearings in the House.
This weekend will be different.
The Contest is Back on the Menu.
"What is wrong with our Country?"
Doctor Right| 2.1.13 @ 7:43AM
He claimed a "smoking hot" Asian wife,
But, in truth, he had no life,
That's why he lingers all day long,
On TASOnline,
And beats his shlong.
Doctor Right| 2.1.13 @ 7:46AM
How about a Haiku?
T.L.P. is here,
With inane observations.
His contest bores me.
Doctor Right| 2.1.13 @ 7:48AM
Maybe a limerick?
There was a guy called "TLP,"
Whose posts just screamed "Please, look at me!!!"
On the boards, he was a blight,
But he got punk'd by Doctor Right.
Doctor Right| 2.1.13 @ 7:54AM
Ode to Joyce Kilmer:
I think that I shall never see,
An bigger bore than T.L.P.,
He makes long posts,
With lots of words,
Because in life,
He's under heard...
Doctor Right| 2.1.13 @ 8:03AM
Ode to Edgar Allen Poe:
Once upon a weekday dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a post written by a real attention whore,
While I sighed, and hit "refresh," suddenly I was enmeshed,
In his uninsightful scribblings, and my soul they did so bore,
`'Tis only T.L.P," I muttered, `his missives make me snore'-
He's a clown, and nothing more.'
Doctor Right| 2.1.13 @ 8:16AM
Ode to Bob Dylan:
"Timmy's in the basement,
Lookin' up job placement,
I'm on my laptop,
Searchin' for a forum cop,
A man out in cyberspace,
Website, logged in,
Put a temporary ban,
That got under Timmy's skin,
Lookout, Tim!
Your prospects are dim!
Moderator knows when you're doin' it again,
You'd better make a new user name,
Find someone else to blame,
The guy on the forum,
With the bigger brain,
Toys with you all day,
'Cuz you're such a pain...
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 11:19AM
NOW do you understand where I'm coming from, with this guy?
On the other hand, he has Conformed to the Rules. He has kept in Character, and provided a Poetic Treatise built around his Jealous Hatred for Me, my Hot Asian Wife, my 148 IQ, my Wonderful Sense of Comedic Timing, my Choice of Friends, my Style of Writing, and my One Remaining Viagra Pill that he can't have.
Upon Rereading his Entries, I gotta tell ya.......They're not bad.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 1:35PM
Points for versatility should be awarded, even if he is off the announced theme of the day.
CJW| 2.1.13 @ 3:17PM
Is there a prize for insulting or mocking the moderator? Doc is in the lead.
Pecos Pete| 2.2.13 @ 12:13PM
Oh boy! A new category! I wanna play.
Warrior| 2.1.13 @ 10:16PM
No malpractice there.
chuck| 2.2.13 @ 9:04AM
Damn TLP, I think the good Doctor has the hots for you, in a manly sort of way. Obviously he spends waaaay to much time thinking about you.
Kind of reminds me of a scorned woman.
Job| 2.2.13 @ 3:19PM
broke rule #95 but hey no harm no foul
Job| 2.2.13 @ 5:03PM
(wedding crashers)
TLP| 1.30.13 @ 7:06PM
The Killing Fields.
In 1973, the Cambodian Army (John McCain) is fighting a War with the Communist Khmer Rouge (Barack Hussein Obama) for control of Cambodia (Us).
By 1975, the Kmer Rouge (Obama) rolls down the streets in Victory. America (US Companies) empties its Embassies (They clamp down on their Money) as the new Regime takes control of the Country.
The Left Wing Media is Ecstatic. They can't believe their eyes.
FINALLY, a regime that will roll back all of the Unfairness that exists between the Haves, and the Have Nots. Fairness, and the Redistribution of all the Money that the Elites have Stolen From The People, will be the Coin of the Realm, from now on.
It wasn't long before the Communist Leader - Pol Pot - (Obama) showed his True Colours.
He rounded up the Professionals (Businessmen, Bankers, Idustrialists, Coal Companies, Oil Companies, and Entrepenuars) and sent them off for Reeducation. (Do what I say, or face endless Law Suits)
He dispatches his Goon Squads (EPA, Justice Dept. His Energy Department, and His NLRB) to Harrass his enemies (The Free Market) and bring them to Justice, before putting a Bullet in their Heads (Shutting them Down) and throwing their Dead Bodies (The Jobs they Create) into his Killing Fields (Insolvency and Unemployment).
TLP| 1.30.13 @ 7:38PM
Once again, in the words of Stewart Gilligan Griffen: That's mine. Where's yours?
As per usual, these days, you are not confined to my Analogy Example. If this one doesn't suit your tastes? You can choose another Story: Women on the Front Lines. The Hillary Show at the Congressional Hearings on Benghazi. The effects of Pharaoh's Leading from Behind Strategy in the Middle East, his shipment of FREE F16s and Abrhams Tanks to the Muslim Brotherhood, in Egypt.
I'm looking for ANALOGIES, people.
Movies, Plays, Cartoons, Pornos, Jokes, something you read on the wall in the Public Bathroom at the Bus Station, something that's written under Tina B's Yearbook Photo. It doesn't matter. I just wanna see you use your Brains.
First Prize will be a Free Ticket to Anna K from Emory U's next Abortion.
The Loser Prize will be a Free Ticket to Arnie's next Abortion.
I've done all I can do. The rest is up to you.
Good Luck. Keep it as Filthy as you can. And, be safe out there.
GO!
Bob Grant| 2.1.13 @ 5:03PM
TLP,
If it's alright with you, I'll play the role of the guy in the peanut gallery.
I'll riff the really bad analogies and keep the trolls in order. Based on the early entries, it looks like I'll be busy.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 5:44PM
You can start with yours.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.31.13 @ 8:32PM
In order to get things kicked off, I was inspired by something that Hardcard posted about not getting caught in the trap. While he appeared to be referring to arguing with the trolls (as the lack of punctuation means one must pan through Hardcard’s posts like an old prospector at the sluice to find the great nuggets of wisdom along with the sand and gravel), it reminded me of one of Elvis Presley’s greatest hits with RCA, “Suspicious Minds”. So with that tune (and great guitar chords) in your mind, please do your best Karaoke Elvis impression as you belt out a contemporary version below:
Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.31.13 @ 8:33PM
We're caught in a slump
We can't break out
Because we love our hurting country
Why can't they see
They we all won’t be free
and you can't believe a word he’s saying?
We can't go on together
With these vicious kinds
And we can't risk our freedoms
With these vicious kinds
So, if Obama should say
Give up all guns today
Would I see recognition in your eyes?
But its not over yet
til Morsi gets a new jet
Israelis will see those F16s flying (crying)
We can't go on together
With these vicious kinds
And we can't risk our freedoms
With these vicious kinds
Oh let our land survive
Or drive these fools far away
Lets don't let a good thing die
Our country
we won’t say goodbye to you
Mmm yeah, yeah
mike 3/505| 2.1.13 @ 4:10PM
Snap X 3
Now...lemme see you do Kentucky Rain!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 10:17PM
All right, you've asked; here's my attempt:
Fifty lonely months
And ten dozen executive orders back
I looked up one night
And he was in
Don't know how he won,
but destruction then begun
Now what I want to ask is Please God, forgive this sin
So I’m talking to the crowd,
Tryin’ to point it out
On this lonely American backroad
I’ve loved it much too long
just to give in to this throng
or to let it go, just to let him
lead it wrong
A leftist rain keeps pouring down
And up ahead another clown
keeps saying we’ll pull through
and Obama’s due
to stop screwing you
and to bring us all less pain,
and we might be free again
Showed his new Jobs plan
To some job providing men
Sitting on a bench
to forecast economy
They said no we can’t hire
cause our country is on fire
and his governance
Will make us all less free
So I finally took a chance
With a hope we could advance
a congressional majority
As we fought through all the press
I realized that it was less
and that left me with a prayer
That we’d be free
A leftist rain keeps pouring down
And up ahead another clown
keeps saying we’ll pull through
and Obama’s due
to stop screwing you
and to bring us all less pain,
and we might be free again
mike 3/505| 2.2.13 @ 11:19AM
Big Al,
That was so awesome!
Tim,
I move the nominations be closed and Big Al be declared winner by acclaim.
Regards,
Mike
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 12:31PM
I wanna watch him do Kentucky Rain.
I don't know she is, but I wanna see Albert do her.
Joellen| 2.2.13 @ 1:04PM
Are we really going to have this get together this spring - I really have to meet you guys!
Al, CJW, Mike, Pecos Pete, Von,Bob Grant, Tina B, Lil Jen, Nancy, LouLou, everyone that I am forgetting to mention, and of course TLP
THANK YOU for all you contribute on this site - you cheer and inspire during these dire times.
Your entries are surely being perused by those being paid at TAS - how much you want to bet, your entries will be in future columns!
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 5:44PM
You put me last on the list?
Now, I AM mad at you.
(Yeah, right)
Joellen| 2.3.13 @ 6:32AM
NOT!
Joellen| 2.1.13 @ 8:38PM
WOW I missed you guys - and it's only been 2 days - but seems a lot longer.
Albert, as usual you dont disappoint - You are the KING!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 8:47PM
No, I just impersonated a king, but as he might have said:
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Pecos Pete| 2.3.13 @ 9:16AM
Whoa now, Joellen, Albert as King? That term is reserved for King O. However, maybe the Dwarf Prince would be suitable as a description for Albert?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 11:56AM
As my height is listed as 6 foot, I might not qualify.
Pecos Pete| 2.3.13 @ 2:11PM
Well, how about A Really Tall Dwarf Prince?
Pecos Pete| 2.2.13 @ 12:19PM
Ok, no more Dom Don for Albert. He's moving way over to the intellectual side of the contest. Two excellent poems that force Tim to think about how to deny you as a winner.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 12:34PM
How do you want'em?
Alphabetically, or as they come to me?
Pecos Pete| 2.2.13 @ 3:42PM
Alpha ... backwards.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 5:46PM
Stink You.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 8:08AM
That was quite the metaphor on finding that "Whore with a Heart a Gold" in Hardcard's written thoughts.
Oh, that I should be so Sparing, In my, usage of, punctuation, and, all the, rest,."?&/-'.
Methinks, tis a Gift. Not to be trifled with.
Then again......maybe he's not allowed to use Scissors? (If you get my drift)
Nancy in NC| 2.1.13 @ 7:51AM
A day late. Now I understand I will try again next time.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 7:58AM
Actually, it's just starting.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 8:13AM
Yeah. It's just starting. And besides.......nobody wants to be the first one to arrive at the Party. It makes you look like you're desperate, and have no life.
The only thing worse that being the first one there?
Is, being the First one there AND the Last one to leave.
I sure wouldn't wanna be that guy.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 8:40AM
Actually, the appeal to the desperate with no life is what works best about the contest.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 11:21AM
And there's you're proof.
Doctor Demento.
Doctor Right| 2.1.13 @ 10:02AM
Ode to William Shakespeare:
T.L.P., does he bore me? That is the question.
The peeps, perchance, agree; ay, he's a schlub...
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 11:22AM
Isn't he great?
CJW| 2.1.13 @ 3:18PM
A new category: insult Tim.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 5:46PM
Why do I think that you would excell in that Category?
Doctor Right| 2.2.13 @ 8:50AM
I win.
None of you can touch me.
(And please, don't try.)
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 9:54AM
Welcome back.
Feel free to touch anyone you want.
Seriously.
loulou| 2.1.13 @ 7:58PM
Seems to that you're in love with TLP.
Doctor Right| 2.2.13 @ 8:51AM
Not really.
It's simply loads of fun to gore his ox...
Bob Grant| 2.1.13 @ 4:53PM
TLP,
I was the first to arrive and last to leave many, many parties some years ago. People loved me for it.
Ok. I worked for a catering company but ...
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 5:47PM
They were just being nice to your face, while making fun of you, behind your back.
Trust me.
Bob Grant| 2.1.13 @ 6:21PM
Yea, but I was on the clock so...
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 9:10PM
As one who has responded in tandem with you on occasions way past when it appeared all others had abandoned the thread, BG, I say "Company loves Misery".
Bob Grant| 2.2.13 @ 10:06AM
You're a good sport, Al.
R Martin| 2.1.13 @ 8:34AM
I guess the moderator is saying, “Do whatever you want today, because my example is so weak it should not be regarded as a constraint to your creative thinking.” I agree.
So here’s a little analogy from P.G. Wodehouse (the creator of Jeeves and Wooster) in his story “Uncle Dynamite”. It reflects everything I see in the Obama administration: Obama himself as weak and feckless, all the while intending to seem important, his Tsars and appointees as petty and officious and the whole Obama presidency as focused on minor issues when serious matters need attention and action.
In typical Wodehouse style he writes, “On Constable Potter’s face was that hard, keen look which comes into the faces of policemen when they intend to do their duty pitilessly and crush a criminal like a snake beneath the heel. It was the look which Constable Potter’s face wore when he was waiting beneath a tree to apprehend a small boy who was up in its branches stealing apples, the merciless expression that turned it to flint when he called at a house to serve a summons on somebody for moving pigs without a permit.”
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 8:51AM
Was Wodehouse able to describe the ecstatic image which might come upon The One's visage upon hearing a proper audio cue, such as, for example, the Muslim call to prayer?
R Martin| 2.1.13 @ 10:03AM
Probably, I'll look for it. BTW AC, you watched one heck of a lot of "Twilight Zone" when you were a kid. Must explain, in part, your kindred spirit with TLP.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 12:24PM
While I enjoyed them as a kid, I still try to catch an episode whenever they are available. I could use nothing but them, and have a relevant entry each week.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 11:29AM
I don't know about this Wodehouse guy, but I'm bettin that Pavlov would have had something to say regarding The One's reaction to "the most beautiful sound in the world, George".
Only, he wouldn't be Drooling from his Mouth (if ya know what I mean).
R Martin| 2.1.13 @ 11:35AM
Sorry, I looked-up sound rather than image and got this--here are two reminiscent of that lovely Muslim wail:
“She gave a sniff that sounded like a nor’easter ripping the sails of a stricken vessel.” From Nothing Serious, 1950.
“Honoria Glossop is one of those robust, dynamic girls with the muscles of a welter-weight and a laugh like a squadron of cavalry charging over a tin bridge.” Carry on Jeeves, 1925.
I'll get back to you with image.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 2:27PM
"She gave a sniff that sounded like a Nor'easter ripping the sails of a stricken vessel."
I'm guessing that the "image" is that of your Wife, standing outside the Bathroom Door, with you sitting on the Toilet, on the other side of the door.
Whatta ya think?
Bullseye?
R Martin| 2.1.13 @ 5:05PM
Are you still envious of my entry to the very first analogy contest (the Democrat National Convention) which was the campfire/beans scene from "Blazing Saddles"?
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 5:49PM
I gotta admit it.
That one was Classic.
Everything since?
Not so much.
Moe Blotz| 2.1.13 @ 6:51PM
One of Eddie Murphy's portrayals of the Klump family included a scene in a buffet restaurant that was quite creative. One of the girth challenged members of the Klump family was choking on a collop that was not masticated properly and another leapt to his rescue with the Heimlich manoeuvre. Upon squeezing the afflicted Klump in the solar plexus, the hero squeezed out a shot of accumulated intestinal gas that shot across a candle sitting upon a table, ignited and set the curtains behind ablaze.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 9:57AM
That was Hilarious, ya Moe.
That was a Funny Movie.
Hardcard| 2.1.13 @ 8:44AM
Here I sit broken hearted, I came to compose, but I can't get started. More coffee I suppose will get me going, but grammar and spelling will be the same, like hillary says at this point does it matter.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 8:48AM
As I sift through it all, I see the Hillary nugget, and shout "Eureka".
Joellen| 2.1.13 @ 9:00PM
Here's one dedicated to Hillary:
Whose that lady (whose that lady)
frughy lady, whose that lady
Nasty Lady, whose that lady
Real Bad Ass lady
There are 4 American dead Men
calling out to her
"why did you desert us
in a land that didnt want us"
And frughy lady says
yea but it wont touch me
Whose that lady - frughy lady
Nasty Lady - frughy lady
No class lady - frughy lady
People dance upon a string
cause they really do think
that she's the one no one can beat
for the next presidential seat
UGLY LADY
Whose that lady - wicked lady
rotten lady - whose that lady
She's the one who holds the secrets
on Bill, Obama and that VP
so they cower to appease her
and keep promising her
the kingdom
so she smiles and laughs
and reasons
that in 4 years time
she's the reason
we'll be crying
Oh no, she's that frughy evil lady,
low class lady,
horrible lady
who do us all wrong, all wrong
CJW| 2.1.13 @ 9:39PM
Joellen
Excellent. Bet Bubba has the same opinion and would enjoy your poem.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 10:23PM
I look forward to the commercial with Lawrence Hilton Jacobs (or as he is remembered by "Welcome Back Kotter" fans "Freddy 'Boom Boom' Washington").
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 9:58AM
Look at you.
The Gals are kickin ass.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 11:31AM
So far, Hardcard's Winning.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 8:45AM
RM has made an entry from classic literature. I will explore a similar theme from the somewhat less distinguished genre of classic TV.
Of course, in the analogy department, no ground is more fertile than “The Twilight Zone”. Using science fiction and the fringe of the mystery and horror genres, Rod Serling’s whole purpose was to tell stories that not only entertained, but made us take a look at the world that we live in, and where we might be going.
Of course, today such a show could never be produced, as Serling would be serving a sentence imposed by the New York smoking police, and any conditions of his subsequent release would require him to film only endless episodes of him being trampled by Joe Camel or being tied to a fence post gang raped by the Marlboro Man, the Winston cowboys or other tobacco abusing advertising icons (to invoke the cherished memory of the late Matthew Shepherd).
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 8:45AM
Today I am reminded of the episode first aired in 1962 entitled “The Little People”. A pair of astronauts crash land on a planet, and one discovers that the planet is populated by a miniaturized version of human beings. One of the astronauts (the navigator named Craig), displaying a personality disorder, decides to use excessive size advantage to terrorize the smaller beings to submit to him and worship him as a god. He forces them to build icons in his honor, and Craig comes to relish his new status so much that he rejects the opportunity to rejoin his own world.
His circumstance changes when there is another crash landing, a new astronauts are introduced to the planet. These newcomers dwarf the protagonist, and barely realize that they have crushed the god Craig beneath their shoe.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 8:46AM
Craig, of course, is a stand in for the current POTUS. The little people are those in the electorate who cynically, selfishly or foolishly voted for him (along with the rest of us) who are now forced to endure his narcissistic and destructive reign. The bootwhich crushes him will be worn by the combined forces of those of us who love America as the country representing the principles that we were founded upon, governedwith humility under God by a Constitution and with a rule of law (not men, and particularly not men who see themselves as gods).
Of course, unless we learn to come together as a unified force, we will never attain the giant status necessary to dwarf the impostor in chief.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 2:31PM
The Smoking Police?
What about the Fashion Police, for his choice of Suits?
I can just imagine Mary Hart ripping him a New One on Entertainment Tonight.
(Is Mary Hart still alive?)
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 2:32PM
Nice Entry, bye the way.
Job| 2.2.13 @ 2:12PM
yeah i know you gotta sign a waiver to get eggs sunny side up nowadays
Tina B| 2.1.13 @ 9:13AM
When our Lord made that promise to Noah, as He placed the first rainbow in the sky after the Deluge, that He would never again destroy the Earth by water, He left us who believe in His Word with the understanding that He would destroy the world again, but some other way. I always assumed He meant fire. That could mean solar or nuclear, warfare or natural catastrophe, or both. Big foot down on us, I'd say.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 2:33PM
I'm thinking he meant: Barack Hussein Obama.
Tina B| 2.1.13 @ 9:24PM
I know, do-do.
Pecos Pete| 2.1.13 @ 9:23AM
Battlestar Galactica
When an old enemy, the Cylons, resurface and obliterate the 12 colonies of Caprica, the crew of the aged Galactica protects a small civilian fleet - the last of humanity - as they journey toward the fabled 13th colony of Earth.
Caprica, the home planet of Galactica's crew, is the United States.
The Cylons are Obama and his merry crew of czars supported by liberal/leftist/progressive/communist/moderate/democrat/RINO Village Idiots.
Obama and his crew bomb the United States with massive weapons of destruction, called Laws, Executive Orders and Regulations, that totally devastate the United States' free enterprise system and the underlying principles of freedom and liberty for all,
The Galactica's crew is Captained by Colonel Mike of 3/505 fame. President Laura Roslin is played by Tina B. Dr. Gaius Baltar is Tim. The rest of us get to pick our roles.
The civilian fleet shepherded by Galactica is our fellow patriots, supporters of the Constitution, the Flag and our heirs.
The goal of reaching Earth is our eternal quest for finding, and electing, a Conservative President, a Conservative filibuster proof Senate and a strong majority of Conservative Representatives in the House,
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 10:07AM
I never saw the show in any version, but I would choose to follow Lorne Green over the current POTUS any day (and Mike 3/505, for sure).
Tina B| 2.1.13 @ 10:17AM
I will accept my commission and serve with honesty and courage. And thanks for the vote of confidence.
Oh, it's just an analogy? Never mind.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 12:17PM
Won't Hillary be green with envy to learn that you became President before she did?
Tina B| 2.1.13 @ 9:25PM
Yeehaw! I'm preening right now.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 2:37PM
I actually see myself being the Captain, with Colonel mike in charge of the Bar on the Ship.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 8:52PM
I think you are confusing the "Love Boat" analogy with this one; with Gavin MacLeod playing you, and Mike 3/505 as Isaac the bartender (I'm not sure if I wind up with Fred Grandy's old role as Gopher; but if Pecos Pete is casting, I guest star in a part once plated by Dom DeLuise).
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 12:40PM
Nice.
Hardcard| 2.1.13 @ 9:57AM
And now the end is near, of this I'm
almost certain, we have a king (O) whose standing behind the curtain, he ready to drone those who oppose him. He wants to help us all of this I'm hopen' except his uncle odingomopen and auntie odingodopen. I see the end when we'll be together in a hunt and smoken rope in. The King of all will be but a token so now it's the end I hear the fat lady singin' her vocie is loud and clear she shouts out what does it matter. scoobee doobie doo, do do, three cheers for bob menendez.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 10:06AM
[Frank Sinatra and Paul Anka meet Jim Morrison (and drop acid together)...]
I enjoyed singing along (though the Dominican teenager says I didn't tip her enough).
Tina B| 2.1.13 @ 10:14AM
It's shoobie doobie doo, doo doo doo dee dah. I think. Too many doobies, one way or another.
I was singing too Albert. Good job Hardcard. Still hummin'.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 12:14PM
It's too easy to abuse "Strangers in the Night" in this forum, so I'm just going to leave it alone.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 2:39PM
If you've got something?
Let's hear it.
Moe Blotz| 2.1.13 @ 7:02PM
My aging grey cells will not permit me to retrieve from memory the name of the philospher who said, "To do is to be", but I think it was Sarte who said,"To be is to do". Shakespeare is attributed thus, "To be or not to be", and your Chairman of the Board gave us,"Do be do be doo".
Moe Blotz| 2.1.13 @ 7:13PM
Plato: To do is to be.
Sarte: To be is to do.
Shakespeare: To be or not to be.
Sinatra : Do be do be doo.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 8:44PM
Moe, thank you for picking up whatever slack I left there.
Tina B| 2.1.13 @ 9:28PM
Here a doobie, there a doobie, everywhere a doobie doobie.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 12:42PM
Just replace "doobie" with "boobie" and you've you've got the Nudie Bar where my Stag was held.
Tina B| 2.1.13 @ 10:23AM
I typed this and entered it in the week without a contest, right after the absurdist inauguration rites of the current Obamiasma. I will resubmit as an Allman Brothers hit "Wasted Words" from their early days accompanied by lost brother, Duane. Give it a listen on YouTube, then singalong with Tina B.
Can you tell me, tell me, friend, just exactly where you've been?
Is that so much to ask? The MSM can't handle the task.
You seem really sure 'bout something I don't know,
But if it's what I think is really so,
Your wasted words already been heard, are you really God, yes or no?
Well, all day and half the night you're dancin' round lookin' such a fright.
Is it me or is it you? I've made a wager and I know you lose.
Time's gone, looks like Rome is 'bout to fall,
When it's burning, you'll be at the ball
Your wasted words so absurd, are you really Satan, yes or no?
Well, I ain't no saint and you sure as hell ain't no savior,
It's been 4 long years of watchin' your behavior.
That was then, this is now, don't ask us to follow
'cause Bama every word rings hollow.
Pass more laws to take our liberty,
Finally cross that line and you will see
Your wasted words will never be heard, go on home baby and watch it on TV.
Weekday newscast specialty, you know what I'm talkin' 'bout now,
By the way, this song's for you, sincerely, me.
Hardly had to change a thing.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 2:41PM
Excellent, Tina B.
I smell Tickets to Abortions.
Moe Blotz| 2.1.13 @ 7:14PM
That may be the fragrance from your whoopee cushion.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 12:44PM
Don't you mean my Cholostomy Bag?
Joellen| 2.1.13 @ 9:02PM
Way to go Tina B!
Hardcard| 2.1.13 @ 10:41AM
It ain't easy being me. Sorry for the spelling (hut) and the numerous do do's. I shoulda stood in bed.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 2:42PM
Maybe, that's your problem?
You're Standing in your Bed.
That explains a lot of things.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 11:35AM
Best one ever.
Lots of Analogies.
That's what we're looking for.
I have to go cut down a Tree, now.
Please address any concerns you have, to Albert, before Happy Hour starts.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 12:12PM
The McCullough people (or are you a Stihl man?) might pay for a product placement mention in a more commercial contest.
I know the Yuengling people get lots of free plugs (and not of the variety that Biden endorses) in the contest threads.
Pecos Pete| 2.1.13 @ 1:55PM
Stihl! Stihl! Stihl!
I want my commission before next Tuesday.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 2:44PM
Husqvarna! Husqvarna! Husqvarna!
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 2:45PM
Is McCullough still in Business?
Moe Blotz| 2.1.13 @ 7:16PM
I never saw a saw saw like the saw I saw in Arkansas.
Pecos Pete| 2.2.13 @ 7:31AM
I saw you above and I'd to saw that your sawing is a pretty good saw.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 12:47PM
Do you two wanna be left alone, for a little while?
And, does this have anything to do with your Mother not letting you play Football?
Cause, I'm thinking it does.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.2.13 @ 5:40PM
"Is McCullough still in Business?"
I don't know, but if they're not, it might explain why my chain saw doesn't work anymore.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 5:50PM
And, why you can't get it fixed.
Job| 2.2.13 @ 5:01PM
he's really going out to blow up a ground hog hole ala caddy shack and that is my winning entry. ..:)
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 5:55PM
I agree. You're the Winner.
You've Won: Dinner for two, at the Dinner Theatre currently showing Ben Stein in a One Man Show, where he sits at your table for a Recitation of every Ben's Diary Columns that he's ever written.
Congratulations.
You deserve it.
Tina B| 2.1.13 @ 12:12PM
For your viewing/listening pleasure, the version of "Wasted Words" on YouTube with Gregg and Johnny Winter is a very satisfying version, as memories go.
Hardcard| 2.1.13 @ 12:38PM
That's why they call him 9 1/2. Watch those dangling digits, the axman always knocks twice. A tree grows in Brooklyn, not if the axman has his way. I'll take door number 3 for the secret square and the win!!!! At this piont what's the difference?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 12:47PM
Secret Square? I think everyone knew about Paul Lynde.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 2:46PM
Not that there's anything wrong with it. (Seinfeld)
Bob Grant| 2.1.13 @ 5:08PM
Al,
I think he was talking about Liberace's brother and that weird puppet of his.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 8:43PM
I wish my brother George was here( or was that a Bugs Bunny gag?).
mike 3/505| 2.2.13 @ 11:22AM
Which was a take off from the film "Of mice and men."
mike 3/505| 2.2.13 @ 11:23AM
Tell me about the rabbits George.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.2.13 @ 12:15PM
George is my friend.
Hardcard| 2.1.13 @ 12:47PM
Al (fill-in moderator) is it true that this weeks grand prize is an all inclusive week-end at Casa de Compo in the Dominican Republic with the Menendez twins and a sleep therapy session with Charlie Rangel, airfare included with happy endings ? Deer anteler spray extra see Arod or Melky for a quote.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 12:52PM
No, that's not true, but it might explain why Anna K and Arnie might be seeking the services that are described in the catalogue of prizes this week.
(...and as far as deer antler spray goes, where do you think the phrase "Young Buck" cames from?...)
Li'l Jen| 2.1.13 @ 1:14PM
In response to the interview with Univision, in which Obama proclaimed, "I am not a king (yet)," I give you the song from Disney's Robin Hood:
Oh the world will sing of an American King
A thousand years from now
And not because he passed some laws
Or had that lofty brow
While bonny Gipper Reagan leads
The great crusade from beyond
We'll all have to slave away
For that good-for-nothin' John
Incredible as he is inept
Whenever the history books are kept
They'll call him the wanna-be king of America
A pox on the phony king of D.C.!
He sits alone on a giant throne
Pretendin' he's the king
A little tyke who's rather like
A puppet on a string
And he throws an angry tantrum
if he cannot have his way
And then he calls for Frum while he's suckin' his thumb
You see, he doesn't want to play
Too late to be known as Hussein the First
He's sure to be known as Barry the worst
A pox on that phony king of America!
While he taxes us to pieces
And he robs us of our food
The U.S. Constitution keeps slippin' down
Underneath his pointed shoe
Ah! But while there is a merry man
in Palin's wily pack
We'll find a way to make him pay
And take our money back
The minute before he knows we're there
The Tea Party’ll snatch his underwear
The breezy and uneasy king of D.C.
The snivellin' grovellin'
Measly weasely
Blabberin' jabberin'
Gibberin' jabberin'
Blunderin' plunderin'
Wheelin' dealin'
Prince Barry, that wanna-be king of America
Yeah!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 1:30PM
Bravo!
Li'l Jen, you have made a Big Debut.
In the absence of TLP, please allow me to say welcome to the contest (but please don't be disappointed if we don't don outfits of green cotton and prance about while singing your Ode to the Odious one; Alan Brooks has all of those costumes).
loulou| 2.1.13 @ 8:06PM
Li'l Jen, you are talented.
Pecos Pete| 2.1.13 @ 1:59PM
Snap! Snap! Snap! Snap!
Best debut ever! Li'l Jen can roam in my forest any day.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 2:49PM
Indeed.
Best Debut, ever!
Welcome Li'l Jen.
R Martin| 2.1.13 @ 4:00PM
Agreed. Should we invite her to the party?
Pecos Pete| 2.1.13 @ 4:02PM
Absolutely! She can ride my horse.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 5:54PM
Don't you mean: Milk my Horse?
Or, is that the same thing?
Tina B| 2.1.13 @ 7:28PM
Li'lJen, awesome job! You are so welcome aboard. A rapier wit and the ability to rhythm and rhyme. I curtsy.
Joellen| 2.1.13 @ 9:06PM
Lil Jen - welcome aboard - here's to our newest member of "one of us" as our beloved TLP likes to call his merry gang of radicals!
Li'l Jen| 2.1.13 @ 11:32PM
I'm not worthy! But I am honored to be in the band.
CJW| 2.1.13 @ 9:42PM
Lil Jen is another rookie of the week.
Job| 2.2.13 @ 2:42PM
Ok Little Jen is Maid Marian
TLP is Robin Hood
uh oh. Dr. Right must be the Sherrif
King John is whoever put the ban
Job| 2.2.13 @ 5:07PM
His middle name is Locksley
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 5:58PM
"Dr. Right must be the Sherrif."
Funny stuff.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 2:52PM
Just so you know?
The Contest will be open all weekend, with the Prizes being handed out Sunday, at 5 PM.
Just before the Super Bowl.
Al Adab| 2.1.13 @ 3:47PM
To post or not to post,
That is the question.
Harbaugh will win the s/bowl
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 5:55PM
Post.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 9:00PM
whether t'is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of a righteous post
or fearing oppostition, ending it...
(Both Shakespeare, TLP and I concur- post!).
Warrior| 2.1.13 @ 10:31PM
After the trojan rabbit...look if we built this large wooden badger.
Bob Grant| 2.1.13 @ 5:12PM
Yep,
Nothing like a pre Super Bowl abortion to get one psyched for the big game.
gene| 2.1.13 @ 4:35PM
Analogies? WHAT analogies could possibly be better that what is actually happening?
Hillary is an UN-Indicted felon for Obstruction of Justice, Withholding Evidence and Multiple Counts of Perjury. She leaves public office, runs for the NY Senate with ILLEGAL Campaign funds and then gets within a hair of running for President except the "Powers that Be" decided to put their money on Obama. Richard Nixon obstructed on a third rate burglary and he goes down for the count. Hillary (In addition to what has already been noted) obstructs on Benghazi where Americans were gang raped and beaten to death and people are talking about her running in 2016?
And the "Mainstream Media" lets het WALK on all of this?
WHAT analogy could possibly be more insane and bizarre than the truth of what is actually happening?
The Assault Weapons Ban? This President let HUNDREDS of people get shot to death with Assault Weapons that he sold to Mexican Drug Cartels and HE IS GOING TO lecture us about Assault Weapons? There are no analogies that can compete with the truth.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 5:57PM
You may be right. But analogies are the Coin of the Realm, on Fridays.
You wrote the Truth. No question.
Now, find an analogy that can make the same point.
Something from Lord of the Rings, perhaps.
gene| 2.1.13 @ 6:33PM
What is actually happening makes "Dr. Strangelove" seem FREAKIN Normal by comparison. I've have no analogy that is stranger than the truth.
I will quote President T. Jefferson:
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 9:05PM
Gene;
Where have you been since november? Did you escape from the reeducation camp (or is this really Gary 11)?
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 8:08AM
In truth, he has been gone a loooooong time.
I wonder if, maybe, we need to start calling him - Jean? Cause I'm detecting a lot of PMS Anger Issues in his Comments.
Ya never know.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 8:03AM
Actually gene (and welcome back, by the way) Dr. Strangelove would make for an Excellent Place to mine for a Metaphor.
What I'm trying to say is: You can do it. You can come up with something.
Help yourself to the Punch and the Shrimp Kabobs, and think of an Analogy while you're on the toilet, as it's starting to look like there was a REASON that the Shrimp was so cheap.
And, I think I spelled "Meteor" wrong.
gene| 2.5.13 @ 2:20PM
I have been gone because I relocated to a new job in a new state (Actually the one where I worked for 14 years until I left 5 years ago. In December I hit the ground running and have been running ever since with the relocation, being back in my old house (I rented out of state) and getting on top of my department.
gene| 2.5.13 @ 2:22PM
Of course,...........
I could be Gary 11 and this is just misdirection
Joellen| 2.1.13 @ 9:14PM
Gene, so well said and so sadly correct.
Just know that you are with a group here who understands your utter contempt for the media - its the only way RIGHT NOW we have to voice our frustration.
TLP has given many people a way to express themselves through this outlet - and even tonight we have new entries - so obviously it is getting out there - this is the place to be to opine your thoughts outloud without fear!
Let em fly Gene - you're in good company.
gene| 2.1.13 @ 4:39PM
Leaving public office? I meant as First Lady before the Senate.
Stkman| 2.1.13 @ 5:18PM
What's wrong with the Nation you ask?
Tim put down the flask,
You've seen this before.
Let's go back in time.
So say goodbye to your whore,
And quit drinking the wine(it doesn't go in a flask anyway)
Travel back to the sixties,
You know, when the girls had pixies.
Clinton and his friends marched in the streets,
Smoked their weed and ate their pill treats.
They marched for peace,
They marched for freedom,
They marched for this, and they marched for that.
They got what they wanted,
They got peace,
They got freedom,
They got this and they got that.
So now they're bored and they truly beleive,
Thet they built that.
And since they built it,
Surely they can destroy it.
And in the end they realized that all along,
They were really everything they had marched against.
They are really everything WE should march against.
I hope that was simple enough for purp and the gang.
Pecos Pete| 2.1.13 @ 6:35PM
Stkman, even I understood it. Good job.
TLP| 2.1.13 @ 7:03PM
I thought he left us.
Moe Blotz| 2.1.13 @ 7:22PM
Fat Freddie, his brain addled by methamphetamine, went through rehab and became an advocate for sobriety. His message was posted in a biker bar located in Penndel, PA; Keed Spills, er pill skeeds, er skill peeds, what?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 8:32PM
Moe, have you been riding with the last chapter of Warlocks not absorbed by the Pagans MC? If not, I think the Delaware and Chester County, PA Partnership Against Drug Abuse wants to either hire you, or name you as Public Enemy # 1.
Moe Blotz| 2.2.13 @ 11:55AM
None of that club s++t for me, Jr. In the mid 70s I rode with an ex Dirtynecker and a couple of former Pagans. Most of the biker trash that was hanging around in Phil's Tavern no longer rode bikes. Many of the Pagans I knew then drove pick up trucks. PADA will never find me as I am hiding out on Von Mises,Jr.'s side of the river and living under an assumed name.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.2.13 @ 12:17PM
Of course, Camden County has its own hazards.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 8:11AM
And, did he just call my wife: a Whore?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 9:07PM
Stkmn;
Profound.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 7:55AM
You spelled 'Pronoun' wrong.
Joellen| 2.1.13 @ 9:20PM
Bravo Stkman!
CJW| 2.1.13 @ 10:58PM
Excellent, Stkman.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 8:24AM
Yeah, that was great.
I'm a Drunk, and my wife's a Whore.
Do want a Bus Ticket to Arnies "Procedure"?
Or do you wanna ride in his car, with him?
CJW| 2.2.13 @ 9:16AM
What are you talking about?
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 12:53PM
"Tim put down the Flask."
"Say goodbye to your Whore."
Apparently, I'm the only one actually Reading these things.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.2.13 @ 12:56PM
I didn't think he meant it literally, but as literary license (or something like that).
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 6:01PM
I'm KIDDING.
Geez.
Remember who we're talking about, here.
Me.
CJW| 2.2.13 @ 6:56PM
Is that a license to insult? Will Obama tax this license?
TLP| 2.3.13 @ 1:04PM
Pretty much.
Kwan| 2.2.13 @ 11:01AM
Is Awnie pregnant again?
CJW| 2.1.13 @ 9:58PM
What is wrong with our Country?
I submit the following written by William Butler Yeats, in 1919, following the carnage of WW I, which Woodrow Wilson, a racist Dem, campainged he would keep the USA out of:
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: a waste of desert sand;
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
The worst are full of pasisonate intensity: the lefty totalitarians that want to control us, the abortionists: the current Dems represented by Obama, Hillary, Kerry, Holder, Debbie Doberman Schulz, Schumer, etc.
The best lack all conviction: unfortunatley, most of the Reps.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 10:26PM
Isn't it scary, how history repeats itself (or at least doesn't stop the Left from copying off its papers)?
CJW| 2.1.13 @ 10:53PM
The lefties really believe they are smarter and can perfect man through coercion.
Had a pleasant evening with wife, friends, great pizzas, beer, and California cabernet talking about how nobody cares about Benghazi and the latest attack, but with all our problems, what a terrific country we have, and how awful most of the rest of the world lives compared to us.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 11:02PM
Each week, a slightly larger crowd at Happy Hour agrees that Obama is a disaster. I'm not sure that the pool of believers expands quickly enough, however.
Perhaps if we purchased an ad during the Super Bowl broadcast, we could begin to address an audience of the proper size.
Pecos Pete| 2.2.13 @ 7:27AM
Albert, would the FCC or even the NFL allow the ad to be broadcast?
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 8:21AM
No problem.
Just get a Gay Black Lesbian Rabbi, sitting on a Bench at Planned Parenthood waiting her turn for an Abortion, to address the audience.
Problem solved.
Bob Grant| 2.2.13 @ 9:27AM
Yes, as long as they wear fuschia.
Moe Blotz| 2.2.13 @ 11:58AM
Maybe a fuschia burkha,
Joellen| 2.2.13 @ 8:32AM
Here's a diddy that Menedez will be struming in prision (if only):
Little Red Riding Hood - now Underage Prosititues
Hey there underage prostitutes
you sure are looking good
your everything a Liberal Senator could want
Dominican Prostitutes
I'll be there screwing you
Just like I screw with the Jersey taxpayers at home
What's that your asking for
Five Hundred dollars and more
Well, cause I'm a big bad and ugly wolf
you'll be getting the royal screw
Underage Prostitutes
you'll just another tool
that liberals get to sacrifice
cause we really never cared
about any woman's rights
Dominican Prostitutes
why do you think I flew
in a big jet to get to you
The owner is a cheat and he'll be screwing with you too
Underage Prositutes
dont you dare be thinking of exposing the truth
We have a media who'll lie
and continue to hide
for liberals like me and my crew
Cause we're baaaad
Liberals are baaadd
and your just an underage third world prostitute
so the media dont care nothing about you
Baadd, baadd baaddd
OOOPS Underage Prostitutes
I didnt count on that right wing group
of revealing what I been doing to you all night long
well that's baaaddd, baaadddd
now daddys got to fight this at home!
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 8:35AM
Is anyone else getting a Boner, reading that?
Moe Blotz| 2.2.13 @ 12:00PM
No, the House Majority Leader is silent as the Administration Press.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.2.13 @ 8:43AM
That was Bam the Sham & the Pharaohs, with their guest singer Bobby M with their new hit that's going straight to the top of the charts (and is listed as Exhibit A in the US Attorney for the District of New Jersey's presentation to the Grand Jury).
CJW| 2.2.13 @ 9:09AM
Menendez the pervert makes us miss Bob "the Torch" Toricelli. At least the Torch took money and gold watches, like a respectable crook.
Tina B| 2.2.13 @ 9:21AM
Oh. My. Word.
Joellen, I couldn't be prouder of you than if I were your mom. And I'm probably old enough to be (at 63). That was the bomb. I loved that song in my senior year in Cali at San Gabriel Mission HS. You rewrote it better than I could've. No prize for me again this weekend. But I do feel I've given rebirth to a new genre, rewriting pop songs from the 60s. I love it. Keep churning them out ladies and germs, I mean gents, and grandmaTinaB will start baking brownies to add to the gift prize bags you get when you win.
Tina B| 2.2.13 @ 9:23AM
Unless Timmy says no and wants to keep the brownies for Albert and himself to munch after the contest ends.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.2.13 @ 9:42AM
I have to undergo random drug testing. Leave the brownies for Tim.
Moe Blotz| 2.2.13 @ 12:03PM
Maybe Timmy would share them with Alice B. Toklas.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 12:57PM
Seriously.
Did anyone else get a Boner?
Job| 2.2.13 @ 2:50PM
nope but there was a slight quickening
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 6:03PM
"I think I felt it move." George Costanza.
Moe Blotz| 2.2.13 @ 7:49PM
You were probably filling your colostomy bag and it nudged your scrotum.
TLP| 2.3.13 @ 1:07PM
Actually, I was rummaging in it for the Quarter I accidentally swallowed on Thursday.
Pecos Pete| 2.2.13 @ 12:06PM
Dadgumit, Joellen, you really are trying to beat out Li'l Jen for the all entry prize. Tim's gonna have a problem deciding on the winner this week.
Well done!
Pecos Pete| 2.2.13 @ 12:11PM
CJW: Just read your missive by Yeats. History does have a habit of repeating. Now I'm gonna have to start drinking early today.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 6:06PM
And, just like that, History repeats itself, again.
Joellen| 2.1.13 @ 10:14PM
Oh CJW - so sadly profound -
But the LORD, he is a coming
and for that reason alone we remain strong
Stay strong brother CJW, your love for our country will keep many people inspired.
CJW| 2.1.13 @ 10:57PM
Joellen,
Your comments on the March for Life were great.
Too bad we need to have a March for Life. The MSM would rather cover a march for condoms by the Flukes.
Joellen| 2.2.13 @ 7:17AM
And have the tax payer pay for them!
Thanks CJW- hopefully in our life time the march will be to celebrate the day Roe vs Wade was overturn and life is celebrated.
Warrior| 2.1.13 @ 10:21PM
It's worked so often in the past. This video and the lyrics are a tribute to the Hildebeast who did her best George Costanza (it's not a lie if you believe it to be true). Of course the band is our elected Republicans almost attempting to ask Mata Hairi....Ms Clinton a real question. Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kz7EGY-iHR8
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 10:31PM
After viewing the video, I must ask, is that Harry Reid in the orange cowboy hat pinned up, or is that a shot of Hillary?
Warrior| 2.2.13 @ 10:01AM
Sorry, Harry dresses a little differently.
http://mlkshk.com/r/5VG1
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.2.13 @ 1:02PM
If he ever runs for Kaiser, he will have the appropriate head gear.
Warrior| 2.1.13 @ 10:27PM
What's the difference between a young teenager and a freezer?
A. The freezer doesn't scream when Menendez is packing meat into it.
What's the smallest book in the library?
A. Actually multiple answers, 1. Muslim accomplishments 2. Krugman's successful economic theories 3. Bill Clinton on abstinence and marital fidelity 4. Purp, vtwin and RCV's resumes combined
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.1.13 @ 10:35PM
I would include the title "A Compendium of the Jobs Which Obama's Governance Added to America's Economy (With Those that He has Lost Subtracted)" (the title is , of course, longer than the contents).
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 8:34AM
The Minutes of every meeting His Majesty has spent with his Jobs Council.
The list of Media Inquiries into the Charges of Rape, against Bill Clinton, the charges of Underage Prostitutes for Bobby Menendez, and the Decade that Al Sharpton has gotten away without Paying Taxes.
The list of Allies that Trust us.
The List of Enemies that Fear us.
The List of New Startup Companies that can't wait to come to the US.
The list of Millionaires moving TO California.
I could go on, all day long.
Tina B| 2.2.13 @ 7:26AM
Good morning to the poets, screenwriters and song rewriters of TAS one and all. Let the games continue. I am so proud to be among such a creative bunch. Yes, we lost the election. But, according to my favourite book, we do win the war.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 7:54AM
Gods Morning Tina B.
Wanna hear a joke?
In the hospital, the relatives gathered in the waiting room where a family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber."I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news", he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time, is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the BRAIN." The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a time, someone asked: "How much will a brain cost?" The doctor quickly responded: "$5,000 for a Democrat's brain, $200 for a Republican's brain." The moment turned awkward. Some of the Democrats actually had to try to not smile, avoiding eye contact with the Republicans. A man, unable to control his curiosity, finally blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask: "Why is the Democrat's brain so much more than a Republican's brain?" The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group: "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to price the Republicans' brains a lot lower because they're used."
Warrior| 2.2.13 @ 9:17AM
Q: How did Menendez make a 12 year old cry twice?
A: After he did his Bill Clinton imitation with her, he wiped his "slick willy" on her teddy bear.
Menendez calls Harry Reid and says "I'm too sick to come to the Senate today." Sick! screams Reid, this is the tenth time this month. Exactly how sick are you? Menendez replies, "well... I'm in bed with you middle school granddaugther."
Moe Blotz| 2.2.13 @ 12:07PM
Are youse implying that Menendez knows how to make a hormone?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.2.13 @ 12:54PM
He (and apparently some Secret Service presidential protection detail staff) have changed the punch line from "Don't pay her" to "Don't pay her enough".
Tina B| 2.2.13 @ 9:26AM
And the Dem's brains are so, so . . . pristine!
Hardcard| 2.2.13 @ 9:04AM
It's groundhog day all over again. Everyday I wake up and we are still ruled by a king (O), right is wrong, up is down, it's good to be immoral, women are in the trenches, we are sending F-16's and Abrams Tanks to our sworn enimies, Hillary is lying to protect a liar, Bush is to blame, rev al sharptongue has his own TV show, illegal aliens are citizens, our politicians are stealing every thing in sight, moslems are a peaceful lot, we don't need no stinkn' guns, same sh*t different day all over again. And I haven't won a thing in this contest.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.2.13 @ 9:15AM
Perhaps you haven't won anything, but you've earned the respect of your fellow contestants with your insight (and, after reviewing the above post, an award for most improved punctuation).
Bob Grant| 2.2.13 @ 9:33AM
"an award for most improved punctuation)."
That's akin to winning an Oscar for film editing.
Moe Blotz| 2.2.13 @ 12:09PM
Similar to urinating in your pants whilst wearing a black suit. You get a warm feeling out of it, but nobody notices.
Joellen| 2.2.13 @ 1:44PM
You're a winner Hardcard - and your included in my list way way above (left you out by accident).
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 6:10PM
He's on my list, as well.
It wouldn't be The Contest, without him.
Moe Blotz| 2.2.13 @ 7:45PM
Punxsatawney Phil was once the lone marmot prognosticator that attracted all the media attention on 2 February for his inane forecasts of when spring would arrive. Now we have at least two more wejacks appearing on the boob tube in Wisconsin and New York, horning in on wee Phil's original gig. Seven years ago I relocated to a one acre plot on the edge of New Jersey's pinelands and got to know the habits of some of the local ground hogs. Last year I was out behind my house where my garage sits before the trees and undergrowth, when a big furry ground hog waddled out from his burrow looking gaunt from his long winter slumber. Since the date was the second day of February, I hailed him to inquire about the coming change in weather. "Vinnie" I learned had fled the encroaching development of the northern suburbia near Morristown when his subterranean neighbourhood had been paved over to create a parking lot. In response to my inquiry about the weather, Vinnie replied, " I don't know nothin' and aint got nothin' to say to nobody. #*$& you." With that he disappeared back into his burrow until the vernal equinox. This year I thought maybe Vinnie might have softened his attitude a wee bit, so I ventured outside after the dawn today. The furry little SOB saw me right away and said,"What, you back again? Apparently you don't get it Pinehawker. I aint got nothin' for you or nobody, get out of my *@(#$!+/{ face." Phluffyans have a word for that type of behaviour: Addytude.
Pecos Pete| 2.3.13 @ 9:02AM
Moe: You get better with each entry.
Your "Vinnie" and his Addytude reminds me of King O, with a minor change: "What, you back again? Apparently you don't get it Citizen. I aint got nothin' for you or nobody, get out of my *@(#$!+/{ face."
Moe Blotz| 2.3.13 @ 11:38AM
Thank you Pecos Pete. The way I look at it, I have varmints living on my property for free, they come into my garden and take half my vegetables, and the state tells me that I can neither exterminate nor relocate them. Similar to the 47% , what? Loss of civility is another story.
TLP| 2.3.13 @ 3:58PM
For a guy who started out by saying: "I don't need no Steenkin Analogies", you sure do have a lot of'em.
Keep'em coming.
Tina B| 2.2.13 @ 9:33AM
And a chance to get your face on the cover of. . . not the Rolling Stone but. . . on my new boxes of Brownie Mix for the Conservative Sweetfreak! I am trying them as we speak/post and they are dandy. So, Hardcard, when Timmy rejects our entries, once again, we can be happy to know that with my brownies, and the picture of you on the cover of the box, we will be going home with the winner(s) and whatever else Timmy has in mind for those lucky stiffs.
Warrior| 2.2.13 @ 9:57AM
Timmy does have rejection issues. He's still staggering from the beating Doctor Right has imposed upon on him.
Bob Grant| 2.2.13 @ 10:14AM
Warrior, your issues with TLP notwithstanding, how can you possibly side with Dr. Right, an avowed Ray Lewis fanatic?
That precludes any perceived beat down Doctor Right performed on TLP.
Warrior| 2.2.13 @ 3:51PM
Only if you can prove he was using antler spray while posting.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 1:04PM
That's enough of that.
Those are worse than fightin words.
And the LOSER PRIZE goes to Lancelot Link Lover.
Warrior| 2.2.13 @ 3:54PM
That almost hurts. The best fight scene in a movie:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKhEw7nD9C4
Warrior| 2.2.13 @ 4:50PM
Analogy for this scene can be any thread in which the King (TLP, ACJ, etc.) discuss any political issue with the Black Knight (purp, vtwin, Arnie, RCV).
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.2.13 @ 5:36PM
"All right. We'll call it a draw."
Joellen| 2.2.13 @ 1:12PM
Lucky Stiffs - are we still talking about Menedez?
Hardcard| 2.2.13 @ 10:39AM
Tina instead of my picture on the box how about we put Friday's picture of Krugman the Magnificent in my stead, it will surely keep the grandkids from swiping a brownie or two.
Tina B| 2.2.13 @ 7:33PM
I had to have a strong drink after the mental picture of him in a sports coat, a tie and short shorts. What a pompous ass he must be.
Kwan| 2.2.13 @ 10:42AM
Movie: The Langoliers
An aircraft full of passengers leaves Los Angeles International Airport at night heading for Boston. Later in the flight 9 passengers who have been sleeping awaken to discover that all the other passengers including the flight crew have disappeared and the plane is on autopilot. One of the 9, Brian is an off-duty airline pilot and takes control of the plane. He is unable to raise anyone on the radio and decides to land the plane in Bangor, Maine instead of Boston. In Bangor there are no people or electricity. One of the passengers who is a psychic says she is hearing a strange crunching sound in the distance and that they must leave as quickly as possible or they will die. They begin to refuel the aircraft in order to escape. One of the passengers comes to the conclusion that as they flew through an unusual aurora borealis during the flight that they must of flown through a rip in the space-time continuum traveling about 15 minutes into the past. Just as the refueling is completed the Langoliers exit the surrounding forest and begin dismantling everything in sight. Brian who is warming-up the plane takes off and as they fly the passengers watch the rest of the land below falling into a formless black void. Bob one of the passengers believes the Langoliers are the Timekeepers of Eternity, that their purpose is to clean up what is left of the past by eating it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izxpXWBRjng
Kwan| 2.2.13 @ 10:43AM
The aircraft flies back thru the time-rip and lands in Los Angeles. Ultimately the passengers rejoin the present.
Analogy: While the Langoliers dismantled the past Obama and his Marxist Langoliers are dismantling the nation’s future with his designed to weaken the country leftist policies: Expansion of the debt, creating and ever growing welfare state, devaluing the currency creating inflation, weakening the National Defense, amnesty for illegal aliens, destruction of the health care system, limp-wristed policies in the Middle East that could lead to nuclear war, wasting taxpayer money on ridiculous green energy scams. Many critics claim that Obama’s failed Presidency is a continuation of the Jimmy Carter failed Presidency, this is an incorrect assessment as it is actually a continuation of the Weather Underground Marxist Revolution that wanted to fundamentally transform the United States into a Totalitarian Socialist State in order to achieve the left’s holy and sacred goal of equality. The left’s quest for equality reminds me of the statement made by former Soviet Chess Grandmaster Victor Korchnoi who escaped from the Soviet Union in 1976. In the opening pages of his autobiography he relates:“The authorities were always making the claim that everything they did was for the purpose of achieving genuine “equality”. In this respect the authorities were highly successful, on the eve war -WWII- there were tens of millions of people living in poverty.”
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.2.13 @ 12:33PM
Times are scary when a horror novelist like Stephen King provides the most fodder for analogies about the times we live in (When I was a kid, we had a family named Langolier that lived across the street from us for a while. When I first heard of the story, I thought he might be writing about them).
Kwan| 2.2.13 @ 3:05PM
Did they like to eat in all-you-can-eat restaurants? If so maybe it was about them.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.2.13 @ 3:32PM
They were actually a rather unusual family. Both husband and wife were Yale graduates (classmates of Dick Cavett at the Drama School, if I recall correctly), and they didn't last long in our rather blue collar environs. He was a newscaster at the local PBS affiliate.
At the time, there were no All-U-Can-Eat buffets locally, but I recall they relocated to a farm near Kennett Square, PA, where they might have feasted like locusts, and provided the inspiration for the title.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 1:08PM
And, just like that, a Major Analogy Power from the Far East, has made its presence felt.
Well done Mr. Kwan.
Hai!
John Navratil| 2.2.13 @ 10:43AM
In this Kafkaesqe political world what isn't a greater analogy than 'Metamorphisis'? It is we how have been turned into the cockroach with horrified boarders demanding to leave without paying rent because to the shock of our presence. No matter! We die, everyone else moves into a smaller apartment and we look for someone to care for little sister. Striving, building, working! Unnecessary.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.2.13 @ 12:35PM
Whether or not we have been turned into cockroaches remains to be seen, but it certainly seems that the reins of government have been taken over by many such vermin.
John Navratil| 2.2.13 @ 1:15PM
Albert Constantine Jr.,
Perception is reality in the eye of the lib. Perhaps that's 'Deception.'
I was referring to their view of us.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.2.13 @ 1:29PM
There seems to be no doubt that you accurately describe their view of us.
CJW| 2.2.13 @ 3:41PM
John
I read your comment yesterday about your father and uncle in Czechslovakia. Quite a story. Had a friend in college whose friend escaped from Hungary in 1956. A doctor told me how he escaped from Czechslovakai when he and his family attended a seminar in Austria. Another man told me how he as a Soviet soldier escaped while stationed in East Berlin. Had a HS spanish teacher that escaped from Castro's paradise and frequent vacation spot for Sean Penn and the hollywood lefties.
All took great risks, like your family, to escape the lefty commie totalitarians to settle in the USA. And Obama and his gang are doing their best to move us, slowly but surely, to more and more government control
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 6:14PM
I'm looking at the Judges, CJW, and they're giving me the finger.
I don't know what that means.
CJW| 2.2.13 @ 6:53PM
Is the finger pointing up or down?
Moe Blotz| 2.2.13 @ 7:05PM
Methinks what it means, TLP, is CJW botched the spelling of Czechoslovakia .
CJW| 2.3.13 @ 9:22AM
Moe
It was so difficult to spell they had to split the country into Czech Republic and Sloavakia.
Moe Blotz| 2.3.13 @ 11:52AM
Slovakia, you put an extra "a" in there.
CJW| 2.3.13 @ 12:38PM
Moe
I like your pet, Vinnie the Groundhog. I thought he would have said, "Here's your six weeks of sunshine, right here, pal."
John Navratil| 2.3.13 @ 10:42AM
CJW,
It is quite a story. I'm not sure I could have done what my father and uncle did. Uncle George (Jiri) remains, to this day, upbeat. He worked as a journalist and headed up the Boy Scouts in the Czech Republic.
It did, however, leave me with a visceral understanding that freedom is not free.
Hardcard| 2.2.13 @ 2:29PM
Al, the aforementioned Mr. Stephen King the weird of the weirdos. King had a reserved room at the United Nations Plaza in NYC when he was doing a book deal he would stay at the hotel, this was a few years back, and when he departed at the end of signing a deal and returning to his digs in Boston he would take a dump in one of his rooms closet. A true ultra-liberal making his mark.
Bob Grant| 2.2.13 @ 4:33PM
I suppose that would officially make him a closet case, but enough of the hilarity. Time is of the essence and I'm not seeing the quality of previous analogy contests, people.
Only 1 limerick? Come on!
Focus, focus. Chop, chop!
Joellen| 2.3.13 @ 6:45AM
Hardcard, USED to be a Stephen King fan, best book was The Stand.
But since his "coming out" as a wacko liberal, his writing has become so preachy and boring. Stopped reading him long ago.
Best fictional writer today - Nelson DeMille.
In fact, John Corey character (the Lions Game, The Gate House, the Panther) is definately our very own TLP!
Had the pleasure of meeting DeMille, really nice guy!
CJW| 2.3.13 @ 9:20AM
Joellen
DeMille is terrific. Have read all his books. I met him at a book signing at Borders years ago. He is funny and smart. I liked Gold Coast and By the Rivers of Babylon. You may likle Daniel Silva and Vince Flynn and Ralph McInerney.
I tried to read King, did one page and lost interest.
Joellen| 2.3.13 @ 2:20PM
CJW - will try these men out - and you are right Gold Coast is how i got started on DeMille - that book was his best!
Now dont you know I am in the mood for a canoli!
TLP| 2.3.13 @ 4:06PM
Eat, Joellen. Eat.
Look at you.
You're wasting away, already.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 4:56PM
Joellen and CJW- I am a big DeMille fan too! My first was Charm School. Just finished Cathedral. John Corey as TLP? hmmm that is posible. Pretty cool you met him. I am a big Vince Flynn fan also, along with Baldacci and Steve Berry.
CJW| 2.3.13 @ 11:08PM
BL
DeMille wrote "Mayday" with a real airline pilot from Pgh. Real good and scary. Charm School made me think if it happened.
Hardcard| 2.2.13 @ 4:14PM
Typo above: United Nations Plaza Hotel. sorry
John II| 2.2.13 @ 5:01PM
Gosh. It took me almost an hour to read through this thread. My head is spinning. The analogies are all so apt--and yet, who of our descendants will understand them centuries hence, when this thread is stumbled upon among the ruins? For my entry, then, I offer a straightforward message to our progeny, a kind of political Rosetta Stone for the interpretation of the analogies:
On November 6, 2012, the reliably preposterous Professor Barack Hussein Obama (age 51 going on 16) was re-elected President-for-Life of the United States. A decisive edge was accorded the Professor by key progressive Democratic Party constituencies: the mentally handicapped, the dead, the under-aged, assorted cartoon characters, lapsed Catholics, a variety of well-to-do household pets, illegal aliens, repeat voters (some districts in the states of Ohio and Pennsylvania boasted higher than a 100% turnout for the Professor!), ordinary criminals, and an estimated 3.25 million disgruntled stay-at-home Republicans.
John II| 2.2.13 @ 5:01PM
Decades hence, amid the confusions of a new Dark Age, underground historians will debate the question of which Obama constituencies exercised the deeper influence on the watershed national election that finally turned the United States of America into a morally and fiscally impoverished backwater dominated by lightweight cranks and degenerates. Suffice it for now to observe that the nation is divided between the Makers on the one side and, on the other, a slim majority of Takers who demand more than the Makers can produce under the countless rules and regulations and tax increases imposed by the Takers' political champions.
It's springtime for the bread-and-circus mob; winter for the rest of us. Just how resilient can the American experiment be? That is the question.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.2.13 @ 5:28PM
Excellent summary of the story to date; of course, it might need to be translated into hieroglyphics or cave art for future generations, as literacy will likely go the way of adherence to the Constitution under the current regime and its progeny.
John II| 2.2.13 @ 8:10PM
Judging from the performance of some of my students, I'd say the literacy trouble has already kicked in.
Anyhow--thanks, Al. I got my inspiration from the 1960 George Pal adaptation of H.G. Wells's "Time Machine." When the time traveler is in the museum and twirls the recording rings, he gets this doleful message from the distant past explaining what went haywire. The message is delivered by a canned baritone apparently reading a script written by a bright college freshman.
That was my Wellsian model. So I think my entry should qualify under a not-too-strict application of the rules.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.2.13 @ 9:15PM
While TLP is the link to the Judges, somehow I think they will not be strict constructionists, as much as they are originalists.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 6:18PM
Don't worry, John II.
They'll understand them, once they're translated into SPANISH.
Pecos Pete| 2.3.13 @ 8:55AM
John II: Well done!
As for their language in the future, sort of like TexMex, I'd suggest ChiSpan.
TLP| 2.3.13 @ 4:08PM
You spelled TLP wrong.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 6:20PM
I can't stress this enough.........................
Go back and REREAD all of the Entries.
You won't be disappointed, and you might even get a Boner.
Even you, Tina B.
Hardcard| 2.2.13 @ 6:29PM
Isn't boner the speaker of the house?
John II| 2.2.13 @ 6:58PM
In a sense, yes. The term "boner" is slang for "blunder," a back formation of BONE(HEAD) + the agentive morpheme -ER.
On the other hand, so to speak, I think Timmy probably has a different term in mind, which happens to be a homograph of the aforementioned "boner"--and I ain't goin' there.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 6:45PM
Where is KennesawJack, and Bl in Al?
Hello?
John II| 2.2.13 @ 7:01PM
They're probably stocking chips and beer for the Super Bowl--which is what the rest of us should be doing instead of horsing around on this thread.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 8:24PM
Excuse me?
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 4:03AM
John II - on target with the beer here. Had to get a few growlers of King Street brewery "Holy Water" Belgian type ale for tomorrow. No foolin' thats the name they gave it.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.2.13 @ 7:38PM
I wouldn't be surprised if BL didn't make it in around 2 am.
As far as KJ, well, isn't Super Bowl Sunday one of the busiest days for mimes?
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 8:26PM
Yeah.
For the Good Mimes.
But, where is he?
Bob Grant| 2.3.13 @ 12:43AM
TLP, did you know not only is February Black History Month, it's also Punch a Mime Month?
You get to take one free swing at a mime with no threats of jail time or legal recourse.
I hope you take this golden opportunity to not only celebrate the richness and diversity of our African American citizens...for an entire month..., you celebrate our other, lesser-known, tradition.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 10:29AM
Does the confluence of these two celebrations bear any relationship to an increased appearance of the name Marcel amongst our citizens of this heritage?
TLP| 2.3.13 @ 4:12PM
Why would they name their kids after a Paper Towell Brand?
I don't think that I'll ever understand those people.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 4:09AM
Albert- Overcome By Events got me a bit behind schedule. You have your Barney Miller "Detreich" on today I see. Good stuff.
Bob Grant| 2.2.13 @ 7:51PM
I'm disappointed no one chose the timely film Black Sunday for their analogy. How appropriate.
And lemme tell ya, if it weren't for that damn blimp attack, Dallas would have won the game, easily. It completely ruined their momentum.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.2.13 @ 8:07PM
Thomas Harris wrote the novel "Black Sunday", and also famously created the character Hannibal the Cannibal in "Silence of the Lambs", which would also be great analogy fodder for the current POTUS.
John II| 2.2.13 @ 8:27PM
Whoa. I'll remember to use that one for the next contest, no matter what aspect of the Obamanation is the topic.
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 8:27PM
Soooooooooooooo?
What are you waiting for?
TLP| 2.2.13 @ 9:10PM
GO BACK AND REREAD ALL OF THE POSTS.
Think about it,
What else do you have to do?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.2.13 @ 10:06PM
I just finished watching "Casablanca" on TCM. As I saw the representatives of the Third Reich in Rick's Cafe Americaine take over Sam's piano and sing Wacht am Rhein, (before they were overpowered by Victor Lazlo and the other patrons belting out La Marseillaise) I was reminded of members of another pushy power hungry administration. As a result, I translated Wacht am Rhein to English, and updated it to Watch on the Potomac. So get some chips (either for munching, or playing the roulette wheel), and picture the uniformed members of Obama's civilan military force as they regale TLP's Cafe with their anthem:
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.2.13 @ 10:19PM
In D.C. he stands straight and tall
The White House watches over all
now bow before his reign,
which spreads like a fresh blood stain
From Washington Barack will reign
From Washington Barack will reign
From his throne his will be done you will obey
Not bound by the Constitution any way
The Senate won’t a budget pass
Obama shrinks the middle class
The one he claims to save
as he shatters the home of the brave
From Washington Barack will reign
From Washington Barack will reign
From his throne his will be done you will obey
Not bound by the Constitution any way
Give up your wealth he’ll give it back
Distributing to those who lack
Isn’t that what government’s for
Picking losers in the class war
From Washington Barack will reign
From Washington Barack will reign
From his throne his will be done you will obey
Not bound by the Constitution any way
And when at last his reign is done
You’ll find destruction’s just begun
and will spread like a bad disease
and will end when we speak Chinese
From Washington Barack will reign
From Washington Barack will reign
From his throne his will be done you will obey
Not bound by the Constitution any way
Bob Grant| 2.3.13 @ 12:24AM
How does one beg in Cantonese
For an extra slice of government cheese?
A "new normal" so odd and so strange
That which obama calls Hope and Change
Will this brave new World tickle your fancy
Compliments of Barry, Harry, and Nancy?
John II| 2.3.13 @ 1:01AM
Snap, snap.
On the other hand . . .
When Al invokes La Marseillaise
The Left should dive for cover.
But it's rather weird: I mean, the ways
One shoe can fit the other.
For Bogie and the rest of them
Were full of Leftie hooey
When "Casablanca" on a whim
Became a classic movie.
"Sentimentalist," a tag
That Louie placed on Rick,
Is plausibly the term a wag
Might choose instead to pick.
But I prefer to recollect
That Rick, in all his mommy's
Way with pals in every sect,
Was soft on Spanish commies.
Joellen| 2.3.13 @ 7:02AM
If I may add:
"For Bogie and the rest of them
were full of Leftie hooey
and now we have a Hollywood
that proclaims so loud for the Commies
And if you're against them they sure resent you and do their best to silence your opposition
Oh how the left has much progressed
since the Day of Casablanca
it's just the people here who feel
the need to Yell out No to their propaganda
R Martin| 2.3.13 @ 8:13AM
John II, multiple snaps. Finally, a rhyme with proper rhythm and meter.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 10:19AM
John II;
While Rick Blaine certainly didn’t object to associating with communists during the Spanish Civil War, Bogie’s next two films (“Sahara” and “Action in the North Atlantic”) were love letters to Stalin. Of course, as John Howard Lawson (one of the chief Reds in Hollywood, later jailed for contempt of Congress ) wrote the screen plays, this should come as no surprise.
John II| 2.3.13 @ 12:10PM
I know. The two best books on the sorry topic of the Hollywood Left (and nitwit Hollywood politics generally) are "Hollywood Party" by Lloyd Billingsley and "Red Star Over Hollywood," by Ronald and Allis Radosh (former Lefties themselves). Leftism is the religion of choice for enlightened morons who claim to reject religion.
CJW| 2.3.13 @ 12:35PM
The hollywood lefties seem to love Spanish commies, from Fidel, Che, Hugo Chavez, Ortega, and as you mention the commies during the Spanish Civil War. Had a college prof who fought in the Spanish Civil War with the Abraham Lincoln Brigade, and in class he was always reliving it by analogies to Vietnam. He never criticized how the commies in Spain killed priests, nuns, socialists, anarchists, labor union members and leaders, and anyone who did not share the views of the annointed.
Pecos Pete| 2.3.13 @ 8:50AM
Snap! x 4
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 3:46AM
Wow a whole lotta Gems from the TAS gang, and Lil’Jen what a debut indeed. Before I get to my entry, a couple of comments regarding past topics. On immigration, I agree with TLP, the system is broken. When it worked immigrants like my grandparents assimilated into the American culture and learned the English language. Now it is more of what Rush coined this last week as Balkanization where there are concentrations of different groups that require citizens already here forced to accommodate to a new language. Its all arse backwards.
Joellen, like CJW stated here, I really enjoyed your summaries of the March for Life day. God Bless you always.
Tina B and Joellen sure got something going on with the old rock tunes, wow Allman Bros, geez that brings back big time memories. I think Whipping Post and Statesboro Blues are two of my favorites. I got some good B&W photos of Dicky Betts at Oakland back in the day, sure wish I could have seen Duane.
And since it is SB weekend, a few columns this last week touched on football. Pesco sorry to hear your Mom kept you from a great game. Football has been a big part of my life.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 3:48AM
During the summer between 7th and 8th grade I wanted to play Pop-Warner football, but because my Dad didn’t think I could make the weight limit in Daly City where we lived (just south of San Fran), he took me to the Bayview-Hunters Point neighborhood of SF where one of his friends was a coach for a team, the PAL Raiders. I only had to lose 30 lbs instead of 60. I lost 40lbs and gained my self-confidence which helped me stand up to the bullies in school who used to pick on me when I was the designated Fat Boy punching bag. One of my Dad’s other friends from his high school days went on to play pro and later became the offensive line coach for the 49ers (Dick Stanfel former Detroit Lions guard).
This lead to my PAL Raider teammates and I to run a scrimmage during halftime of one of the 49er games the first season they played at Candlestick. I saw more 49er games when they were at Kezar Stadium when John Brodie was the QB. I went on to be a starting center on my high school varsity team as a sophomore. The high school I went to (Jefferson HS) was John Madden’s alma mater and he visited us one time and gave a talk when he was the coach for the Oakland Raiders.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 3:51AM
When we moved to Napa Valley during my senior year in high school I was finally on a winning team playing defensive tackle and one of my teammates was Dick Vermiel’s nephew. Dick Vermiel was the coach of the Philadelphia Eagles back then and his father lived in the town we moved to. Played my senior year with pro scouts in the bleachers, but they were there to watch Mr. Vermiel’s nephew at running back. An older nephew was already a running back for the Eagles (Louis Giammona). Football is one of my favorite sports, even though now I just watch the games and remember the good times.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 3:58AM
So the movie is Broken Arrow dealing with the theft of American nuclear weapons, two B-83 nuclear bombs aboard a Stealth aircraft that John Travolta “Deak” (BHO) and Christian Slater “Hale” are piloting over Utah. The two bombs are the last two elections that BHO stole away. Former Raider Howie Long plays MSgt Kelly on Deak’s team (Timmy Guenther). Hale teams up with a park ranger to stop the treasonist act Deak and his team have planned. Hale and park ranger Terry steal back the two nukes and head to an abandoned copper mine. The detonation of the first bomb is the first term of BHO. And Deak steals back the second bomb and heads to a train ride to Denver. As Hale and the park ranger escape from the abandoned mine via the artesian aquifer into the river, they see butterflys (Us) surviving the detonation (first term). As the recaptured bomb heads to Denver on the train, Deak loses it once his escape is derailed by Hale and the ranger. Deak activates the second bomb (the inauguration) for revenge and MSgt Kelly (Timmy Guenther) says he didn’t ask for that kind of ending so he departs the pattern off the train over a bridge and falls to the Earth. Lets all pray the second term of BHO ends with a usual second term bump of some kind that takes BHO on a tail spin from popularity.
Go Niners!
Cheerz
Bill L.
Pecos Pete| 2.3.13 @ 8:46AM
BL: I'm praying.
By the way, that picture of King O shooting the shotgun, looks a wee bit weird with smoke coming out the side of the barrel. Not to mention the angle of the aim, nor the shoulder pain from not having a recoil.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 2:10PM
Pete-I have a funny feeling O's popularity will tumble once the inevitable financial meltdown happens. Though he will blame it on Timmy or Ben by then and the LMS will ignore it like they are doing now. The markets cannot be manipulated forever. Those of us that are prepared will bounce back faster then O's sheeple.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 2:24PM
LSM not LMS, damn dyslexia!
TLP| 2.3.13 @ 4:21PM
Exactly what I was thinking, Pesco.
Obviously, Pharaoh "Shoots all the time". One only need look at the Gun Stock on top of his shoulder, his face pressed against the side of Gun, and the Piss Stain on the front of his pants.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 10:24AM
...and for those of us who survive the blast of his Presidency, decontamination will likely be required...
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 1:38PM
Since I am OSHA Hazwoper Certified I have my suit and can help with decon.
Tina B| 2.3.13 @ 7:49AM
Bill L, welcome back and your memories are scrumptious and well worth sharing. I only wish I could remember movie plots like so many here. Music lyrics and their rhythm n poetry are what my addled little brain seems able to hold onto. Internet lyrics sites help too. But you guys are da best and I bow to so many of you. I can't bow to Timmy, however. Taking ones eyes off of him can be risky. He's fast and sometimes furious. But he is so well intentioned I occasionally curtsy to him. And throw rose petals where he steps. And play my flute when he's sad. And stuff.
Pecos Pete| 2.3.13 @ 8:38AM
Tina, Tim is the mosquito or horse fly that's constantly nipping at us to do better. Doesn't matter if he gets swatted, he just keeps comin' back.
Tina B| 2.3.13 @ 7:56AM
Yes, and Go Niners! And as a biomom who's adopted son grew up sane and happy in an adopted family, thank you Lord Jesus Christ, I am so ready to root for Colin Kaepernick and his beautiful tatooted throwing arm, I just can't wait. The wings and the shrimps are on the counter and thawing at this very moment. God is so good, que nos?
Pecos Pete| 2.3.13 @ 8:39AM
Oh dear, "his beautiful tatooted throwing arm" ... now I'm really going to start drinkin' early.
Tina B| 2.3.13 @ 8:14AM
Oh, since no one else is here yet I will blog on about football and 7th and 8th grade boys. My son, Jason, was the 8th grader. He played football for the first time on our middle school flag team. His dad, the captain of our Catholic HS team, was long gone by then and it was with an exceedingly non-athletic step dad that we had moved Cali to Fla. The new HS Jas went to started with only 9th and 10th grades so all the guys who went out made JV or V. The next year they played a small school sched. By his Senior year they were kickin a** on the local powerhouses thanks to a great coach from Indiana, and my boy was co-captain and made all county. He got a full ride to a small prep school founded by James Madison n Patrick Henry, Hamden-Sidney. Big mistake. My boy was no prepster.
Cut to now. His son (they live with me) is in 7th now and hasn't played football. He's a tall strapping young man, and Jason wants Jake to play. I am like Pecos' dad. I think Jake is sweet, innocent, a gamer, and I worry. You men, who are much like family after hangin with me here for so long, make me think Jason is correct. I need to let go, like I did with my son. Thanks for helping me think this through. Your memories, once shared, become wisdom for others to follow.
Anyway, carry on, no homework for anyone this evening, it's the Super Bowl. Go Niners!
R Martin| 2.3.13 @ 9:23AM
Tina B,
Whether or not Jake likes football and chooses to stick with it does not preclude him considering other sports. A really excellent alternative for a “tall strapping” young man is rowing. The sport is physically and mentally rigorous, highly competitive, it builds camaraderie with teammates like no other and it’s a sport one can participate in virtually throughout life. A not insignificant side benefit is that success in rowing is often a big plus for admission to a top-flight university.
TLP| 2.3.13 @ 4:33PM
I have a 12 year old, Tina B. and, because he's my oldest, I tend to be on him like Stink on a Doctor Right Comment.
He's a Good Pitcher, a Good First Baseman, and a Good Hitter, and I see a lot of Me, in him. He loves his Video Games, and he and his 7 year old Brother, have been playing the Teen Games since they were 3. They're that good.
I wish that they'd spend more time on the other things - Their BB Gun, their Bow and Arrow, their Dog, and their Baseball, but I've come to the conclusion that, like water, I have to let them find their own level.
Nobody said that Parenting was gonna be easy.
But, I wouldn't trade it, for anything.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 1:47PM
Tina B- One way my Mom also got what she wanted was for me to take piano lessons. I learned how to read music and play, but no virtouso of any sort. Can still read music though.
I did fracture my wrist making a tackle during my year on V, and then dislocated my collarbone playing rugby in PE shortly after I recovered from the fractured wrist. I didn't play football my junior year and my senior teammates were pissed at me for not sucking it up. I swam and played tennis instead that year. One can't get around the potential for harm in just about anything these days, but my Dad played in HS and knew that the more physically fit you were the better the odds.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 2:00PM
Tina-Baseball is my all-time favorite because it is a social game. You get on base and talk with the other team players and collisions are a whole lot less. Was actually a better baseball player than football. It is the game I prefer to watch in person. Been to the HOF in Cooperstown twice.
My wife also went to UNR like Colin K, though she went to the School of Mines. We both were born in SF. She is a big time Niner fan too.
Go Niners!
Joellen| 2.3.13 @ 2:24PM
You're a good Mom and GrandMom Tina B - proud to know ya!
Pecos Pete| 2.3.13 @ 8:33AM
I borrowed this from Mat Kearney...
Nothing Left To Lose
Something's in the air tonight
The sky's alive with a burning light
You can mark my words something's about to break
We found ourselves in a bitter fight
While We've held their hands through the darkest night
Don't know where they're coming from but they're coming soon
Brought by a kid from Chicago by way of Hawaii
All of this is more than We've ever known or seen
Come on and we'll sing, like we were free
Push the pedal down watch the world around fly by us
Come on and we'll try, one last time
We're off the floor one more time to find Liberty
And here we go there's nothing left to choose
And here we go there's nothing left to lose
So We packed our cars and headed east
To party at Little Ricky's away from the secret police
There's a fire in these hills that's coming down
And I don't know much but I found you here
And I can not wait another year
Don't know where they're coming from but they're coming soon
I can still see Liberty out my window
From Sea to Shining Sea hear in Hooverville
I can still smell Liberty grow
And I don't know how hard this wind will blow
Or where we'll go
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 9:36AM
Snap!Snap!
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 2:03PM
Snap to infinity and beyond!
Joellen| 2.3.13 @ 2:25PM
Pecos Pete - we're all together in this!
TLP| 2.3.13 @ 4:36PM
I just snapped my wife's bra strap.
I got nothin.
Pecos Pete| 2.3.13 @ 5:53PM
Yes, ma'am. And you know what? We are going to win in the long haul.
R Martin| 2.3.13 @ 1:29PM
I just stumbled upon a nifty little analogy over at P.J. Media. It’s a Monty Python sketch called “Election Night Special”. The sketch features the Pythons as news reporters calling election results from around the country. In each report the “Sensible Party” candidate loses to an outrageously named candidate from the “Silly Party”. Done over forty years ago, the sketch is so prescient it could have come from “The Twilight Zone”.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 3:36PM
At the time when "Monty Python's Flying Circus" originally aired in the early 1970s, having a government agency named "The Ministry of Silly Walks" drew laughs because it was outrageous. Now, it appears commonplace (and we can take comfort that the Obama administration won't rest until we're all walking silly, mostly as a result of getting screwed so often).
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 2:48PM
Cheerz to you Tina B-
Modified Whipping Post by ALLMAN, GREGG L.
I've been run down
I've been lied to
I don't know why,
I let that mean BHO make me a fool
He took all our money
Spent it on some Electric car
Now He’s with all his of Lefty buddies
They're smokin' in some cross town gay bar
Sometimes I feel
Sometimes I feel
Like I've been tied
To the whipping post
Tied to the whipping post
Tied to the whipping post
Good lord I feel like I'm dyin'
My friends tell me
That I've been such a fool
And I have to stand down and take it,
All for BHO not lovin' you my USA
I drown myself in sorrow
As I look at what BHO’s done
Nothin' seems to change
Bad times stay the same
But I ain’t about to run
Sometimes I feel
Sometimes I feel
Like I've been tied
To the whipping post
Tied to the whipping post
Tied to the whipping post
Good lord I feel like I'm dyin'
(Break)
Sometimes I feel
Sometimes I feel
Like I've been tied
To the whipping post
Tied to the whipping post
Tied to the whipping post
Good lord I feel like I'm dyin'
Pecos Pete| 2.3.13 @ 5:52PM
BL: Snap! x 4.
I be sippin'
Before the whippin'
Of the Ravens
I be sippin'
Before the whippin'
of the 49ers
I be sippin'
Before the whippin'
I be gettin'
If'n I don't be quitin'
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 6:18PM
Pete-Thanks. No matter the winner, as long as I get my money back and more from the office SB pool!
I'm sippin' starting now
And, saws-wise I have one of each, the longest bar is the Husky though.
cheerz
BL
Pecos Pete| 2.3.13 @ 7:33PM
Shhhhhh. I have to admit, quietly, that my Husky is the big boy. I use the Stihl for Tim size trees.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 8:32PM
sounds about right
Tina B| 2.3.13 @ 4:15PM
Oh yeah. . .sometimes. . .I feel . . . like I been tied. . . Thank you so much for merging that feeling of agony with our current situation, yes the slave mentality is the same, how they would love to whip us. . Thanks my bro.
TLP| 2.3.13 @ 4:40PM
Why do I think that "Sometimes" you have been tied up?
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 6:21PM
Tina B-Thanks for the memories. From another Calif refugee
cheerz
BL
TLP| 2.3.13 @ 4:52PM
You have to go to The New York Post, and see the Pictures of Bathhouse Boy shooting his gun.
"O-Blam! A Backfire.
You won't be disappointed.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 5:05PM
TLP- yeah, saw it on Drudge after Pesco mentioned it. I was wondering about the butt placement on shoulder also. Funny how the links below the pic on Drudge were all about Photoshopping, makes one wonder eh?
cheerz
BL
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 5:34PM
Why do I feel like a clay pigeon?
Pecos Pete| 2.3.13 @ 5:48PM
In King O's world, we be da pigeons ... clay or not wouldn't make him any difference.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 6:10PM
Word.
TLP| 2.3.13 @ 6:13PM
You have to look at the Photo Shopped Pictures at the New York Post.
PRICELESS!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 6:52PM
The one with the Tighty Whities (or Rainbowies, if you prefer) is quite distinguished.
TLP| 2.3.13 @ 6:23PM
344 Entries, of one form or another.
Not bad for something that began with 18, and I almost put to bed, not that long ago.
Just so you remember..........This for a chance to WATCH an Abortion. Not actually GET ONE. I can't stress that, enough.
What can I say? Not since "The Beach Scene oin Lord of the Flies"and "Obama and Biden finding a Scantily Clad, Middle Aged Woman, washed up on their Deserted Island" have we had this many Over the Top, Way Cool Entries.
Obviously, mine was the Best. But as my Judges are so fond of reminding me, through the dense cloud of their Medical Marijuana, I am not allowed to Win.
Pity.
TLP| 2.3.13 @ 6:41PM
If I had to pick One Winner, it would be Albert. As per usual, his Entries are Many, and without peer. (If you don't count mine. Which we don't) His Knowledge of EVERYTHING, makes me wonder what they're serving him at Happy Hour/The Early Bird Special' that he's always running off to. And, even though he is an integral part of this Organization, I will waive the rules, and bestow upon him, One Aabortion Ticket.
I am also giving L'il Jen, Tina B. and Joellen, a ticket, even though I know that Joellen won't go inside, but will Picket in front of the Building.
She is free to give her ticket to anyone she chooses. I recommend it go to Doctor Right, in the hope that, when he enters the room? They will Late Term Abort him, on sight.
I'm giving Hardcard a Lifetime Achievement Award, in the form of a Ticket. I'm giving Mr. Kwan a ticket, reserved for Foreign Contestants, which he can Lock Away in a Vault, somewhere, not unlike Obama's Fullbright Scholarship Paperwork, that he keeps locked up in a Vault, on an Island, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
TLP| 2.3.13 @ 6:59PM
I'm giving Two Tickets to Pesco. One for him, and one for his Horse. (Just in case)
John II gets one. Moe gets one. Stkman gets one, and everyone who DIDN'T say that I got a BEATDOWN from Doctor Right, gets one as well. I'm assuming that Bob Grant and Lancelot Link know who they are.
These tickets are good for Orchestra Seats at Anna from Emory U's next Abortion, that I'm sure she's already Due For. Bob Grant and Warrior will each recieve a Ticket for Arnie's Abortion, with the Stipulation that they sit at the end of the table, and pick up Purp's Fetus when it hits the Floor.
I will now turn the Floor over to My Good Friend, and this Contest's Perrenial Valedictorian - Albert - if he's not too busy making a Chicken Foot Delivery to Dover AFB.
See Ya'all Monday.
TLP| 2.3.13 @ 6:59PM
Albert?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 7:16PM
I've been waiting for you to finish. I didn't want to prematurely post.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 8:35PM
Stay in the game Tim, lets push this one over 400 posts
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 10:28PM
Given the relationship between the first prize and Anna K, does the fact that the thread is named after Anna Karenina cause any concern?
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 11:46PM
Nah, Anna K of Emory probably doesn't even know about this Anna K. Before her time so to speak.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 7:20PM
I’d like to thank the Judges, who once again show that a combination of quantity, quality and bribery can prevail (those ten years that I was in charge of the Evidence & Contraband locker have helped me supply them with plenty of entries). It’s Super Bowl weekend, and it was another super performance at the best Analogy Contest. While TAS appears to turn a largely blind eye to generating hundreds of hits on an otherwise abandoned thread, I would again like to thank the host and sponsor, TLP. Not only did he continue to publicize this bad habit that he has founded, but he endured graciously and with good humor the early homage provided by Doctor Right.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 7:21PM
With the exception of Kennesaw Jack (as well as Alan’s Girl and Goldwater Girl), most of the regulars appeared and provided fuel for the fire that TLP stoked. R Martin provided classic literature, Hardcard provided classic Hardcard. Joellen and Tina B once again reworked the oldies catalogues into goodies to remind us of the baddies. Li’l Jen awoke the forest with her debut number. Once again, Pecos Pete was the Hombre, and CJW filed his timely brief. Stkman added his ode, and Warrior linked in once again. Kwan showed how science fiction can resemble science fact, and John Navratil pointed how it can also be Kafkaesque. John II supplied his erudition, and BL was able to shovel out and contribute his spotlight from the long dark night which is Alaska at this time of year onto the long dark night which is the second Obama term, which is just beginning.
Many dropped by, and some stayed a while. Bob Grant made a return, as did gene and job. Mike 3/505 stood guard upon the bulwark. Nancy left before the party started, but loulou dropped by, as did chuck, and Al Adab.
Moe Blotz dropped in and stayed a while, reminding us all of the coincidence of Groundhog Day.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 7:24PM
To one and all, I say thanks, and for you, I give thanks. If we put aside the small things that divide us, and come together around what unites us, we might help turn back the steepening slide that our country seems to be taking into oblivion.
Meanwhile, I thank you all for lifting my morale.
CJW| 2.3.13 @ 8:10PM
Albert
Your summaries are better and better. Well done. I am rooting for Antler Lewis and Joey Flacco to beat Frisco. As much as I hate the Ravens, Frisco has 5 SB wins, and only the Steelers have SIX.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 8:16PM
Another Pittsburgh fan told me the same thing. As Flacco is a U of D grad, I'm favoring Bodymore, Murderland (though shared University of Delaware alumni status still hasn't resulted in me casting a vote for Biden, so there are limits).
CJW| 2.3.13 @ 8:24PM
Flacco did his first year at University of Pittsburgh, but the "brilliant" coach went with a 5'10" inch, lefty handed, scrambler instead of the 6'5'' classic passer Flacco. He then wisely transferred to Delaware. Shows he is smart and knows how to move.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 8:30PM
Yeah, Flacco is having a good game. Turnovers will tell the story it seems.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 8:26PM
Albert- You Da Man! (as Howie told John in Broken Arrow after the first detonation)
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 8:14PM
Once we hit the 5-plus minutes per day gain this week it has gotten fun. Next week we should hit the 8hr/day mark and after that everything gets WAY, WAY fun.
cheerz
BL
ps. Got my numbers with the 1st Q so everything after this is gravy.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 8:06PM
I think the best commercial so far is the Taco Bell one at the 2 minute warning. A trailer of the TLP crew on their way to the party at Ricky's place.
As long as the game is competitive thats what I prefer.
CJW| 2.3.13 @ 8:12PM
Flacco is playing well. He has the hot hand. Ravens should win. Antler Lewis not playing well.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 8:13PM
TLP's back tattoo will not take near as much time as Constantine Jr..
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 8:20PM
Tina B-save me some brownies for the party. I am a chocoaholic. Anything else is gravelly. Damn this Holy Water Belgian ale is good stuff. Only got 1 more pint left in the growler. Ooops.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 8:22PM
Oh my did a doubly 420.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 8:45PM
Is Ray Nagin running the utilities at the Super Dome while he awaits trial?
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 9:05PM
Albert- Can we blame it on King O and his war against coal? This is a message from our Lord that only we can understand what it means. Here it is the biggest stage and the mighty US infrastructure of electricity is holding up progress of a worldwide broadcast sporting event. I am trying my darndest to use up more electrons, come on gang.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 8:45PM
Power outage on 0.5 of the dome equals the 50% of us that didn't vote for Obamugabe!
Lets give TLP and Albert our best. Push this thing beyond 400 posts to wake up TAS!
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 8:47PM
Keep it going folks.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 8:54PM
Come on folks only 20 more posts and we have 400. Keep it going, the power is out in New Orleans can we blame it on King O?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 9:28PM
I was expecting Kanye West to come on and claim the power was out in New Orleans because George W. Bush doesn't care about black people.
Pecos Pete| 2.3.13 @ 8:55PM
Hey, hey, hey! Did you see Tim's shorts in the sweat commercial? Yellow? Yeah, they have to belong to Tim.
John II| 2.3.13 @ 8:55PM
No one here? Guess they're all watching the Super Bowl. Anyhow, I wanted to suggest that one of the interns at TAS (anyone listening?) should be tasked with compiling a sensibly edited version of The Contest over many, many weeks--maybe six months worth. By "sensibly edited," of course, I mean that TLP's running commentaries will have to be intermittently scrubbed and censored for public consumption, but hey, what are interns for, anyway?
An unautographed copy of the consequent book-length collection of TAS readers having a good time with the Obamanation could then be given free to each TAS contributor who forks over $50 or more. And we'll be earning our keep for taking up so much thread-space.
Just sayin'. Back to the Super Bowl.
Pecos Pete| 2.3.13 @ 8:58PM
Pretty good thinkin' there John II.
Pecos Pete| 2.3.13 @ 9:00PM
By the way, "interns" brings to mind Bubba. I know, hell-uva-a thought.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 9:02PM
The stock prices for cigar companies on the Asian Stock and Commodities Exchanges went up 9% with that suggestion.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 9:07PM
Ain't nothin happening, keep posting. Break 400!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 9:29PM
Ten to go.
Tina B| 2.3.13 @ 9:41PM
I am on my feet and rootin for. . .fumble recovery. . .go Niners!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 9:57PM
I'm thinking whoever shut the lights off was also rooting for the 49ers.
Tina B| 2.3.13 @ 10:12PM
Smiling.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.3.13 @ 10:47PM
That second half was a lot more exciting than expected (and that's not counting what usually goes on in New Orleans when the lights go out).
Tina B| 2.3.13 @ 10:56PM
The passing games were awesome. Flacco and Kaepernick put on quite a show. Good game. Happy work week to all of you who must do the Monday morning thing and God bless. Good night Albert.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 11:44PM
goodnight Tina B- sweet dreams in the swamp lands. I will make my way through the work week with Ramblin' Man
cheerz
BL
Pecos Pete| 2.3.13 @ 11:07PM
Schwelll gamish. So mush stufffff to drunk, bhy the drnk. Schee yall tomory.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 11:35PM
Pesco- me2 supercalifragilisticeclipseealladoceious
CJW| 2.3.13 @ 11:14PM
The Steelers record of SIX is safe.
Bob Grant| 2.3.13 @ 11:31PM
The Stealers got damn lucky winning the two against the Cowboys.
Bob Grant| 2.3.13 @ 11:27PM
It this thing over 400 yet?
I want to thank TLP for once again hosting another outstanding edition of TBAGN. A master of ceremonies like no other. Wink Martindale would be proud.
As per usual, Al's summation was spot on.
The elite entrants once again brought their A-game, the also rans (of which I'm part) not so much.
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 11:32PM
Good game! Congrats to Ray Lewis and the Ravens. And yes the Steelers record of 6 SBs are safe for now. Hope Dr Right doesn't drool too much next week. It was fun gang. Be reading yah'all next week.
cheerz
BL
BL in AK| 2.3.13 @ 11:37PM
WooHoo 403!! We Rock
Goldwater Girl| 2.4.13 @ 3:02PM
Wow, looks like I missed a good party. I've been having problems with my Ipad on the weekends; allows me to type a post, but there's no submit button displayed. Kind of like having sex, without crossing the finish line. I did have a chance to stalk all of my friends playing merrily in Timmy's backyard. If anyone has a suggestion for my IPad problem, I welcome it. The AmSpec site picks up a lot of bugs, so not sure if that's causing the glitch. Congrats to the winners, the rest of us will have to try harder next time.