The American Spectator : The Noble Savage

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The Noble Savage

By Matthew Walther on 1.14.13 @ 6:07AM

And you thought today’s writers are a low, unprincipled bunch?

Ghostwriting, reworking old material, writing about subjects one doesn’t know for little or, in some cases, no pay: Dr. Johnson’s Grub Street sounds a lot like today’s publishing industry, doesn’t it? So says Laura Miller anyway, in a recent Salon essay about the ink slingers, penny a liners, and fourth-rate bibliopolists who lived on the physical outskirts of London near Moorfields, where refugees had fled the Great Fire of 1666, and labored along the threadbare edges of the city’s literary scene.

Richard Savage, poet, pamphleteer, and Grub Street warrior extraordinaire, figures into Miller’s essay as the thankless quill driver behind “An Author to be Lett,” the pseudonymous memoir of one Iscariot Hackney. Hackney, who serves as Savage’s stand-in for any number of eighteenth century London scribblers, is a prototypical, well, hack who languishes in obscurity dashing off books about crime, politics, French literature, and beau monde gossip while dreaming of the day when he “might make a Fortune writing for the stage.” Miller compares Hackney’s plight to that of today’s underpaid, underfed adjective jerker (“every laptop-toting hopeful camped out at a Williamsburg cafe to work on a screenplay”) and concludes, probably rightly, that there is nothing new under the literary sun.

Her essay, however, is mostly about Edmund Curll, the notoriously under-handed publisher (and subject of an excellent 2007 biography by Paul Baines and Pat Rogers), so she can be forgiven for not making as much as she might have out of the extraordinary figure of Richard Savage himself. Savage, with the exception of Samuel Johnson, is the most noteworthy writer to have worked in Grub Street at its height (or nadir) during the ministry of Robert Walpole, the great Whig statesman whom Johnson and Savage, both dyed-in-the-wool Tories, naturally despised. (Later in life, Johnson would come to think somewhat more highly of Walpole, just as he more or less renounced his youthful Jacobitsm.)

Much of what is popularly known about Savage comes from Johnson’s own Account of the Life of Mr Richard Savage, published in 1744, less than a year after Savage’s death in a Bristol debtor’s prison. This great book (Walter Jackson Bate called it the first “critical” biography) about the life of a hack writer was itself a piece of hack-work: Johnson claimed to have written 48 of the Life’s 186 pages in a single sitting and drew mainly from Savage’s own recollections (though he also collected Savage’s letters and sought interviews with others who had known him). The clearly established facts of Savage’s life are few. Thus, how seriously one takes the story (at least as I relate it here) depends upon the extent to which one thinks the author of The Vanity of Human Wishes capable of credulity. Certainly some of what Savage told Johnson engenders suspicion (he seems to have gotten wrong the date of his birth and misremembered the name of his godmother), but there is not enough counter-evidence to suggest that Johnson’s book comes very wide of the mark, especially in its account of Savage’s adult life.

Savage claimed to have, and there is at least evidence to suggest that he really may have been, the son of Richard Savage, 4th Earl Rivers, and Ann Macclesfield, the wife of Charles Gerard, 2nd Earl of Macclesfield. Lady Macclesfield, intent upon leaving her husband, confessed her infidelities to him in 1697. An annulment of their marriage was secured by an Act of Parliament the next year. Ann then remarried and placed her infant son under the care of another woman.

Johnson knew almost nothing about the circumstances of Savage’s childhood, and subsequent historians and biographers have found very little to supplement the account that Johnson supplies. His foster mother Anne Portlock was a woman of very limited means, and his necessities were provided for by his grandmother Lady Mason and his godmother, whom he called “Mrs Lloyd,” but who may actually have been named Dorothea Ousley. Lady Mason arranged for the boy to attend a grammar school in Hertfordshire, where he seems to have achieved some measure of success as a pupil. According to Johnson, Savage “always spoke with respect of his master,” which for him suggests that “the mean rank, in which he then appeared, did not hinder [Savage’s] genius from being distinguished, or his industry from being rewarded.”

On his death-bed in 1712, it appears that Earl Rivers asked for the boy’s whereabouts, hoping to leave him £6000, a sum now equal to several millions. Savage’s mother, by then the wife of Henry Brett (later lieutenant-colonel in an infantry regiment and sometime Tory MP for Bishop’s Gate, Shropshire), told her former lover that the boy was dead. Such casual (and unprofitable, for the money did not pass on to her) malice was inexplicable to Johnson, who loathed cruelty, especially when its object was innocent:

This was therefore an act of wickedness which could not be defeated, because it could not be suspected: the Earl did not imagine that there could exist in a human form a mother that would ruin her son without enriching herself…

From here Johnson’s narrative progresses very rapidly. The boy eventually became a shoemaker’s apprentice and soon took up the last himself, apparently for several years. When his foster mother died, however, Savage claimed that he discovered among her papers a letter from his grandmother in which the circumstances of his birth were discussed. He set out to meet his mother, who refused him entry to her home:

Savage was at the same time so touched with the discovery of his real mother that it was his frequent practice to walk in the dark evenings for several hours before her door, in hopes of seeing her as she might come by accident to the window, or cross her apartment with a candle in her hand.

I wish it were not the case, but I find Savage’s prowling around the Bretts’ home after dark sinister and obsessive. (Where I see evil stars, Johnson sees “assiduity and tenderness,” however.) At any rate, nothing came of his attempts to make contact with Anne Brett, and so Savage, “reduced to the utmost miseries of want,” and “having no profession” (he seems to have abandoned cobbling by this time), “became by necessity an author.”

By the time Johnson met up with him in the late 1730s, Savage had written numerous pamphlets, plays (some of these translated very loosely from Spanish, one of the many languages with which he seems to have become somewhat inexactly acquainted), and poems, one of which, The Bastard (1728) was luridly autobiographical. He had also secured (and lost) a yearly pension of £200 from Anne Brett’s nephew John Brownlow, a member of the Irish peerage; acted unsuccessfully in a tragedy of his own composition; made himself useful to Alexander Pope by scooping up rumors for use in the Dunciad; and killed a man named James Sinclair. His hand-to-mouth bohemianism is well-described in this very atmospheric passage from Johnson’s Life:

He lodged as much by accident as he dined, and passed the night sometimes in mean houses, which are set open at night to any casual wanderers, sometimes in cellars, among the riot and filth of the meanest and most profligate of the rabble; and sometimes, when he had not money to support even the expences of these receptacles, walked about the streets till he was weary, and lay down in the summer upon a bulk, or in the winter, with his associates in poverty, among the ashes of a glass-house.

Johnson seems to have taken immediately to Savage, who by then was widely considered one of London’s greatest conversationalists and went about in a striking scarlet cloak and shoes in need of mending calling himself the “Volunteer Laureate” (Colley Cibber, the actual Poet Laureate at the time, is famous today mainly as the model for Pope’s King of Dunces); and together they would walk the London streets at all hours, too broke to eat or rest indoors, railing against the Whig dogs. Much was done by Johnson (even amid his own desperate poverty) and others to help Savage; there were innumerable schemes for subscriptions, stagings, and pensions, but he spent money much faster than he could earn (or rather receive) it, and his debts mounted.

Eventually, it became clear that if Savage stayed in London any longer, he would find himself in choky; and so, with the help of Pope, it was arranged that he would move to Wales and live on the very generous sum of £50 per year. Once there, he planned to revise his works and publish them in a new complete edition; moreover he would (he was sure) do so amid the most pleasant possible surroundings:

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About the Author

Matthew Walther is the assistant editor of The American Spectator.

Letter to the Editor View all comments (335) | Leave a comment Leave a comment

allanius | 1.14.13 @ 7:40AM

Wow! Thanks! Thoroughly enjoyable. Brought back my long-lost salad days and time spent in the (literary) company of Johnson et al. Almost enough to make an argument for saving English departments...if they are still teaching this stuff.

C. Vernon Crisler | 1.14.13 @ 10:41AM

Why should we care about a blackmailer and murderer like Savage? Aren't there other things Johnson wrote about that would be better to review?

Pecos Pete| 1.14.13 @ 10:43AM

Tim: Bookmark this page. Should be good for the contest whenever you open it up.

hrgfue | 1.15.13 @ 1:58AM

2013 Happy New Year,NFL,NBA,fashion kickoff for u

CHAUSSURES FEMME AIR MAX LTD | 1.15.13 @ 2:35AM

Once there, he planned to revise his works and publish them in a new complete edition; moreover he would (he was sure) do so amid the most pleasant possible surroundings:

TLP| 1.15.13 @ 2:54PM

TGIF.

Is it me? Or is posting comments on this site starting to be a JOB?

Purp, vtwin, Arnie, to some extent - RCV.

You can write til you're Blue in your Typing Finger, but you're never gonna make a dent in their thick heads.

If you noticed that I didn't include Alan Brooks, it's because I actually like Alan. He doesn't insult our Intelligence. He just seems to be having a good time, being a Girl.

If there was ever a case for: Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do? It was this last Election.

Now, what do we do.

With a second term firmly under his belt, he has dropped all pretenses of his intentions. (As if we didn't know what he was gonna do, anyway.)

He's coming for our Guns. He's coming for our Money. And, he wants to destroy our way of life, in the name of His Kingdom. We find ourselves at a Crossroads. We can either Stand and Fight, and go out in a Blaze of Glory? Or, we can lay down our Arms, and be engulfed.

I choose to Stand and Fight.

What say you?

TLP| 1.15.13 @ 3:13PM

It's not like we haven't been here, before. We have.

The Revolutionary War. The War of 1812. The Civil War. WWI and WWII. And, we have always prevailed.

What we're facing now, is no different.

We can Fight?

Or, we can Die.

Think: The 300.

I choose to Fight.

What say you?

TLP| 1.15.13 @ 3:40PM

In the time of The 300, Greece knew that the Persians (The Left) were on the March. They were making ready for an all out War against Athens, and the other City States of Greece. (Us)

They could Stand and Fight?

Or, they could lay down and Die.

They chose to fight.

They sought out Allies, in the Spartens. (The Libertarians, the Evangelicals and everybody else who sees the threat that The Left in this Country represents.)

They gathered to fight against the inevitable loss of Basic Freedoms, and Servitude to a Foreign King (Obama).

They chose the Thermopiles Pass (The House) to make their stand. As they prepared for the inevitable Frontal Assault (Obama, Ried, the Press, and the use of Executive Orders to circumvent the Constitution) they sent out their Navy (Us, and like minded groups, like the Tea Party) to meet them on the High Seas, and prevent them from landing Troops (Occupiers, Unions, and Special Interest Groups) in an effort to set up a Flanking Position.

Armed with the their Shields and Spears (The Constitution and The Rule of Law) they stood in the Pass, and waited for the coming assault, (the Media, the Left, and all of the Useful Idiots, everywhere) ready to fight to the Last man.

TLP| 1.15.13 @ 3:52PM

This is where we are.

You're job, should you choose to accept it, is to take the situation that we find ourselves in, and come up with an Anology, be it a Movie, a Play, a Poem (like something from Homer or The Bird Cage) a Joke, a Show Tune (good luck with that) a Book, or whatever.

The Winner gets one of my 3 Viagra Pills.

The Loser gets a hand written letter explaining why all of my underwear has a Brown Skid Mark in it, as well as a pair of Latex Gloves, should I accidentally slip a pair of said underwear in the Envelope as well.

We are Open until 7 pm Saturday Night, with Prizes being handed out at 8 pm.

Good Lick, and make sure that you're wearing Gloves, should my Underwear show up in your Mailbox.

Go!

TLP| 1.15.13 @ 3:54PM

Good LUCK.

DAMMIT!

TLP| 1.15.13 @ 3:54PM

Or, lick.

Whatever floats your boat.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.15.13 @ 7:43PM

The good lick worked...

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 10:09AM

THE CONTEST (such as it is) RUNS TIL "SUNDAY NIGHT" 7 pm.

SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY.

That is all.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.15.13 @ 8:24PM

I mentioned this film on a Lisa Fabrizio thread last month, as Brooks got all hot and bothered about Sean Cassidy elsewhere on the thread, which got everything kind of stuck together.

The film is “Bataan”(1943), with Robert Taylor, former US Senator George Murphy, and Lloyd Nolan and other fine character actors (including a young Desi Arnaz). The seemingly unstoppable Japanese (the Obama administration as the vanguard of the Left) are sweeping over the Philippines in 1942, and a composite squad of GIs is thrown together to prevent the enemy from crossing a bridge, to allow the retreating American and Filipino troops a chance to escape and rally elsewhere. Taylor is Sgt. Bill Dane, a career soldier who has to help lead and direct the diverse unit as they delay the enemy, and give up their lives one by one.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.15.13 @ 8:25PM

The fighting men represent all of the branches of those who will resist the encroachments of the Left. The cultural conservatives, the evangelicals, the Tea Party, the libertarians, the fiscal and economic conservatives, the robust and isolationist foreign policy conservatives. In addition to defending and delaying the advancing enemy, they also spend time doing battle amongst themselves (when Lloyd Nolan is mortally wounded by a samurai sword wielding Japanese officer while finishing off the wounded, as he lies dying he tells his distrusted rival Taylor that when he first got stuck, he thought it was the Sergeant who got him, and almost respected him for a moment).

In the final scene, only Taylor is left, alternating mowing down the advancing Japanese with his water-cooled .30 machine gun and his Tommy Gun. He proclaims: “It doesn’t matter where a man dies, as long as he dies for freedom” just before he is overrun in his fighting hole/ grave.

Oh yeah. In the part not shown in the movie (as it hadn’t happened when it was made), we lose Bataan and the Philippines, but our country does come back to win the war.

TLP| 1.16.13 @ 9:39AM

Speaking of Sean Cassidy........

I used to take care of David Cassidy's Estate, when he lived up here, in Ridgefield. I used to take care of the Grounds. Go to the House if the Alarm went off, to let the Cops in. Drive the Wife and their little kid, to and from the Airport. (Navritil would've liked her. If she was a Thanksgiving Turkey, you wouldn't ask for a Leg, or a Wing, or a Thigh. Give me some a that White Meat. If you get what I mean)

She was great. He was not.

A total Dick. A total arrogant Primadonna, who went from the Rock and Roll Limelight, to the Bright Lights, to the Stage Lights, to the Cop's Flashlight on World's Dumbest Drunk Drivers.

The only thing that could have made it any better, would've been if David had tried to pull one of those: "Do you know who I am?" deals, and the Cop said: I don't know. Ricky Martin's boyfriend?

I have NOT had a boring life.

You have no idea.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.16.13 @ 12:15PM

I never liked David much, but I was a part of that age cohort when the Partridge Family debuted in 1970 and all the girls loved him, so all the boys hated him.

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 9:34AM

You were just jealous cause he was Thinner, and had more hair.

And, he's still thinner and has more hair.

Bummer.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 1:22PM

In those days, I was thinner, and had as much hair. Of course, these days, neither is true.

Joellen| 1.18.13 @ 10:09AM

Albert, not all the girls, some of us thought him too skinny and feminine. Some of us, even back then, went for the "real" man quality. The one if you hugged him you werent afraid he would break:)

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.18.13 @ 10:22AM

Thirty years ago, I walked into a snack bar at Quantico, and the Filipino staff started pointing at me and chattering in Tagalog. They then told me (in English, I didn't speak any Asian at that time) that they were remarking how much I resembled the guy in "An Officer and a Gentleman" (actor David Keith- the poor man's Patrick Swayze) who hung himself at the end.

At that point, I had transcended "skinny" (which started the day in my late teens when I began drinking beer regularly).

If I was moving furniture, I think I'd rather have my 105 lb. teenage daughter helping than rely on David Cassidy's upper body strength.

R Martin| 1.17.13 @ 4:03PM

Ridgefield...CT or NJ?

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 4:31PM

Ct.

Warrior| 1.17.13 @ 8:17PM

I did some work for the MGM Grand in Vegas. D. Cassidy "starred" in the house show during the 90's. There is confirmation of his dickliness.

TLP| 1.16.13 @ 9:18AM

Obviously, two of us have way too much time on our hands.

You crack me up.

You must really want that Viagra Pill.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.16.13 @ 12:13PM

Though there seems to be no shortage of Viagra or its competitors, just as I started stockpiling ammunition long before I needed to, I figure it might be good to have a stash of the little blue pill for the day I might start to need it.

Jacob McCandles| 1.18.13 @ 10:07AM

You can make one pill last a long time- you crush up a little piece of it, mix it with Skoal, and dip it. Chicks dig the Skoal.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.18.13 @ 10:14AM

Given the blending of the two, a little pinch between the cheek and gums could take on some additional meanings.

Pecos Pete| 1.16.13 @ 8:27PM

I finally figured it out.

CJW| 1.16.13 @ 9:46PM

Figured what out?

Pecos Pete| 1.17.13 @ 9:00AM

Tim's labeling of Noble Savage on comments. Tim sent Albert an email so that Albert could get here first.

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 9:35AM

What'd ya tell him for?

He never would've found us, if you hadn't just told him.

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 9:43AM

Actually, I did not send Albert an Email. I just said in a Reply that The Contest was up and running. I didn't even give him The Noble Savage clue. He just found it on his own.

Which is why he's my 2nd in Command, and you two Bozos are fighting Hardcard every week, for Last Place.

Wait til Tomorrow. Otherwise you're gonna lose your enthusiasm for Friday and Saturday. Especially, Saturday. I come here all the time on Saturday.

Don't let me catch you kids here, til tomorrow.

Warrior| 1.17.13 @ 8:18PM

You two do make an attractive couple. Not that there's anything wrong with it.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 8:25PM

If we come out, are there special Czar positions awaiting us in the Obama administration?

Warrior| 1.17.13 @ 9:15PM

No. However, you will possess the kivorka. You will also be shunned by all the Latvian Orthodox.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 9:37PM

Invest in garlic. Its sales are about to go through the roof.

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 12:54PM

The Vaseline Czar.

R Martin| 1.17.13 @ 3:39PM

No, Pecos, it wasn’t an email alert from Tim. You see, Albert’s ghost writers from the Womyn’s Department at the University of Delaware have been getting impatient because all the stuff they’re cranking-out is piling up and not getting published. How do you think he comes up with those song parodies so quickly…and who has little notes on their keyboard, anyway.

So, because of Tim’s detention and because his general ennui has resulted in fewer contests, the ladies at UD have been putting the pressure on Albert. Threatened with losing his standing within that powerful cabal Mr. Constantine, Jr., in a kneejerk reaction, slipped that Batman analogy in ahead of the gun. Be careful tomorrow; he’s going to flood this space.

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 4:32PM

Little Rickey?

You be da man.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 4:50PM

Damn, I thought I was concealing it well until now.

Pecos Pete| 1.18.13 @ 6:50PM

Don Dom will give you a horse head, some dark night.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 9:19AM

Horse Head?

I don't think anyone's ever given me that.

It sounds painful.

Pecos Pete| 1.20.13 @ 10:10AM

The Godfather.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZtyvlzVm7Y

TLP| 1.16.13 @ 8:34PM

ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

THE CONTEST STARTS FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!

Save your entries until FRIDAY, or we'll ruin it for the Weekend.

My Fault.

I got excited.

NO COMMENTS UNTIL FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FRIDAY! FRIDAY! FRIDAY! FRIDAY! FRIDAY!!!!!!

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.16.13 @ 10:06PM

Is this like the old drag racing commercials (Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!)?

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 10:04AM

Actually, I agree with you, with one little twist.

It's the Drag Racing Commercial, but with the Robot from Lost in Space doing the announcing.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 1:33PM

"Warning!Warning!"

How's that (I when I picture Alan Brooks, why does the image of "Dr. Smith" from Lost in Space come to mind, always trying to get young Will Robinson away from the others and then pulling the battery pack on the robot before it can emit its alarm)?

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 1:35PM

"I when I picture "

The extra "I" is in there due to my recent attendance at a seminar at "The Barack Obama School of Speechifying and Blogposting".

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 2:20PM

Thanks for clarifying that.

I thought you were having a Stroke.

Warrior| 1.17.13 @ 8:19PM

You're both a little too excited having worked the word "drag" into the posts.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 8:23PM

You're going to need to get Lancelot Link dressed in a pink tutu to compete under these circumstances.

Warrior| 1.17.13 @ 9:19PM

Or just see if there human, much less female, characteristics left on Madeline Albright, Janet (Jonathan?) Reno and Cher.

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 11:08PM

Do you actually have any ANALOGIES?

And, that goes for all of you.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 11:17PM

I'm watching Twilight Zone and Seinfeld episodes as I write to see what I can weave into the narrative, but I'm saving some for tomorrow.

Warrior| 1.18.13 @ 11:11AM

Zirtec helps with analogies, although it's not pollen season yet.

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 12:57PM

Isn't Purp and Anal gezic?

I bet he's good at Anal ogies.

Or, is it: Anal Orgies?

Von Mises Jr| 1.18.13 @ 3:30PM

I don't want to hear about Perp's dog.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 9:23AM

Look who's here.

Welcome, Mon Capitaine.

We await your Potty Mouthed Emotional Breakdown.

Kwan| 1.19.13 @ 11:11AM

Tach it up, tach it up, buddy gonna shut you down http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBiNH14YCLY

Pecos Pete| 1.17.13 @ 9:01AM

And the contest ends SUNDAY, not Saturday.

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 9:47AM

Seeing as NOBODY seems to care about all my CAPITOL LETTERS, and !!!!!!!!!'s, and all my Dire Warnings about getting here early?

Why would I think that anyone would stop on Saturday?

I hereby declare these Games OPEN TIL SUNDAY 7pm.

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 2:21PM

Obviously, Pesco is now running the show, around here.

Expect my Underpants in the Mail.

Pecos Pete| 1.18.13 @ 6:52PM

If you also send a gas mask.

Hardcard| 1.17.13 @ 8:51AM

Cassidy, watch your mouth, he was my idol in my childhood, with him wearing those two pearl handled 45 revolvers,the ten gallon hat, silver spurs, skin tight pants with shirt, the gloves with cuffs and fringes, and that big fluffy neckerchief, what a deamy guy. You say you lived with him in Ridgefield ? This can't be true, Hoppy lived in the wild west. Oh shucks it's only thursday never mind. manana is good enought for me!!

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 9:47AM

Happy Trails ♪♫ ♪ to You ♪...

(Wait, isn't that Roy Rogers?)

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 10:06AM

And, just like that, Hardcard's in Last Place.

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 10:01AM

We're looking for ANALOGIES, people. Something Analogous with a real life situation that I have selected.

Remember......This is a Game. It's a Contest. It is not a Chat Room, or a Dating Service. It is not J Date, where you can find a Life Partner, albeit a nagging whiney one.

I am putting up 1 of my 3 Free Viagra Pills as the Winner's Purse. It definately is one of my pills. It is not one of my Dog's Laxative Pills painted blue, and I would be highly Insulted of I was to find out that anybody had held it up to the light to see if I was lying.

Sometimes I don't think I know any of you, anymore.

Hardcard| 1.17.13 @ 11:07AM

To be honest with you Monte since your excommunication a few days ago by TAS and your quicky reinstatement by the same, it's not the same,you are very nasty (not very nice) to me. I think your'e a plant, a manchurian contest moderator so to speak, it's kinda like our supreme commander and chief (many feathers) odingo and his side kick jaimie fluckes. I am now ascared to pick a door, odingo might drone me. All I ever wanted was a new dishwasher (no Guatamalans please).

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 1:26PM

Would you accept a substitution (say, a Honduran named "Maytag", or a gringo ex-con named "Westinghouse")?

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 2:27PM

You mistake my comments of Endearment, with comments of Dislike.

Nothing could be farther from the truth.

As I recall, not too long ago, I Singled You Out for High Praise.

Trust me, when I say: The Contest would not be the same without you.

Now, get out there, and Win this Contest!

You can do it!

(He can't do it.)

Warrior| 1.17.13 @ 8:21PM

I was told on good authority that you've been a mopey malcontent since Sandra Fluke found you not to be sponge worthy.

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 12:59PM

I think she said that I wasn't Tongue Worthy.

Bob Grant| 1.17.13 @ 1:47PM

TLP,

Why don't you consider extending the contest through the inauguration on Monday.

It WILL NOT be a day of celebration but one of sorrow, self-reflection, ...and B-rate analogies.

I'm sure most here will not be keeping up with the celebrations in Washington, so what better place to spend the day than here?

And BTW, anyone here with an American Flag should consider flying it upside down to mark the occasion. That will be my plan.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 2:07PM

It is a gum'mint holiday, after all.

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 2:31PM

I have a better idea.

Why don't we do a Seperate Contest, just for Monday?

I'll set it up tomorrow, and we can Play on Monday.

Remind me, tomorrow.

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 2:32PM

And, I'm open to suggestions.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 4:55PM

It is the Inauguration, after all, so tributes to Our Dear Leader might be in order (I can recycle Barack Obama ding dong from the Ben Stein thread the other day).

Pecos Pete| 1.18.13 @ 6:57PM

Agreed. Had lunch with a long-time friend (yes, I have one or two) who in the middle of a crowded restaurant, after my asking him if he was going to watch the coronation, responded in a VERY loud voice: F**k O***a! Virtually all patrons, and the staff, gave him a standing ovation.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 9:25AM

Your Horse can talk?!

Pecos Pete| 1.20.13 @ 10:13AM

My favorite gelding has been renamed Beauty. That horse makes more sense than most liberals.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 2:34PM

This is the 42nd entry thus far. Two are on the article, two are ads for counterfeit knockoff products, and there are TWO analogies thus far (TLP’s “The 300” to kick off the contest, and my “Bataan” entry).

I hope the songs, poems and greeting card verses (along with the movie and TV entries, of course) are being prepared to get this thing kick started before TLP’s licensing agreement is revoked.

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 3:40PM

Yeah, 42 Comments, and, as usual, 35 of them are mine.

Hardcard| 1.17.13 @ 3:50PM

Ok I'll take the mexican dishwasher and the luxury Albanian weekend for two (no food available) with continental breakfast, monte !!!!

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 4:34PM

What is this?

The old Wheel of Fortune?

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 4:35PM

Or, Jeopardy?

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 4:36PM

See ya'll Tomorrow.

Bob Grant| 1.17.13 @ 4:44PM

The general pattern of TBAGN is to begin at Jeopardy and devolve into the Gong Show, with my entry representing Larry and His Magic Kettle Drum.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 4:44PM

Of course, the brave last stand of the variety depicted in TLP’s entry has been depicted in film many times. Yesterday, the President gave a speech that showed he might want to goose the process of bringing about the destruction of the America we know and love. Like Hamas, he launched his fusillade surrounded by children, daring anyone to fire back.

I recall the old Alan Sherman novelty hit “Hello Mudduh, Hello Fadduh”, about a child’s perspective on the old tradition of sending an urban child away to camp for a week or two in the summertime. As there might be a reeducation camp in our future, I penned this ditty in honor of the kind of correspondence the Presidential pen pals from yesterday’s speech might write after they’ve been turned over to Dear Leader.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 4:46PM

Hello Mudduh, Hello Fadduh
Here I am up behind Obama
Left wing teachers had us write letters
So we’re up here showing you that we’re your betters

No more playing and such trifles
Please Obama take their rifles
“Guns kill children so please save us”
Now we’re up here like a flag so he can wave us

He will issue all his orders
Send Big Sister to your quarters
If you think that this is just sounds
If you go to New York better take just six rounds

(Bridge)
Ta-king guns from legal owners
Not the crazy or the stoners
Lea-ving you all out in a world where
Prepare
To meet force with a stare

Ma-gazines and all your ammo
Then your guns for in this scam O
Wants them all So listen for the call
Don’t stall
Or be borne on a pall

(Verse)
Wait a minute he’s not kiddin’
And this train on which we’ve ridden
Will run over those not with us
So get on or find yourself under the big bus

So please join us or be silent
You don’t want us to get violent
Be a part of our solution
All you have to do is trash the Constitution

Pecos Pete| 1.17.13 @ 5:32PM

Snap! x 1/2

Bob Grant| 1.17.13 @ 10:01PM

Delivered again, Al.

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 11:11PM

Thank You.

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 1:01PM

I smell Dog Laxative.

Rhoetus| 1.17.13 @ 8:28PM

Rules for Conservatives @
http://www.saveamericanow.us.com

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 9:07PM

For a commercial link, this one is actually well placed (for Lancelot Link, see Warrior).

R Martin| 1.18.13 @ 7:12AM

A little research on the 300 and the battle at Thermopylae indicates the generally accepted story contains a good bit of fiction. Since we are facing a real life advance of Obama and his Persians (media, low info voters, Democrats, putzes) my analogy considers the stand already made against this hoard (our Leonidas has not yet reached the pass) and I have to consider how well our fighters have done so far. I’m reminded of the Minstrel’s Song from Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Cue Albert’s little notes here):

“Brave Sir Robin ran away,
Bravely ran away, away.
When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly, he chickened out. Bravely taking to his feet,
He beat a very brave retreat,
Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin.”

“He is packing it in and packing it up
And sneaking away and buggering up
And chickening out and pissing off home,
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge.”

Brave Sir Robin is, of course, the Republican congressional leadership and all their weak sisters. At last report they were holed-up in the castle anthrax, claiming to be chaste.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.18.13 @ 8:32AM

We are now no longer the Knights who say "Neee!".

We are now the Knights who say "Eeekky Eeekky..."

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 11:58AM

Absolutely fantastic, Brave Sir Rickey.

The rest of you can learn a thing or two from Master Richard, and from Sir Albert, sans the Can.

This is what we're looking for. Thought Provoking, Insightful Analogies that light an intellectual fire under the rest of this motley crew.

Well Done.

Pecos Pete| 1.18.13 @ 7:01PM

Little Ricky always provides thought provoking analogies. Given time he could, maybe, train my horses to be friends with Tim.

R Martin| 1.18.13 @ 7:15PM

I suspect your horses are too smart for that. However, I do have two retrievers, a Golden and a Flat-Coat, and they like everybody.

CJW| 1.18.13 @ 7:59AM

Movie: The Great Escape

Story: Americans, Brits, and Australians in German prison camp in WWII.

None gave up and were always planning to escape. They, different nationalities, all cooperated to dig the tunnel to escape. Each had a different role, Charles Bronson digging, James Garner scrounging for materials, the man making all the documents, the tailor making uniforms, and Steve McQueen annoying the Nazis with his defiant spirit. A few escaped, most were captured and killed, and I believe only McQueen was returned alive.

Analogy: Obviously, we all have to work together, each doing what he does best, to beat the Obama agenda. Look at the spirit of McQueen's character, never gave up, and passed his stint in the hole by bouncing the ball against the wall and catching it, something all boys used to do years ago. And kept his sense of humor, knowing he and his mates would win in the end.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.18.13 @ 8:44AM

All of the escaping POWs could have safely sat out the war, but they chose instead(not to join the 47%, but) to follow the code of conduct and continue to fight.

CJW| 1.18.13 @ 8:20PM

purpie and his basement brigade would have snitched and ratted out the escapees to the authorities.

Nathan would have considered the escape an attack by the escapees on the sovereignty of Germany, and a violation of some treaty and international law. How could the USA condone this? Simply outrageous.

Jack Wi would have blamed FDR for not being nice to the Japanese which caused them to attack us at Pearl Harbor which led us to attack the peaceful Germany which led to our soldiers and airman being captured. And there must have been a Jew who wanted to escape to go to Palestine to steal land from the Palestinians, and thus the Jews tricked the rest to escape and get killed.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 9:57AM

Actually, Jackass In Wi would've blamed FDR for ever letting the MS St. Louis, filled with Jewish Refugees from Hitler's Fortress Europe, reach the Mainland.

Then he would have smuggled Casks of Gunpowder onto the Ship. Detonating it as soon as it left Port. And he would have done it all, in the name of Jesus Christ.

A Jew.

Joellen| 1.18.13 @ 10:23AM

There you go CJW - the difference between David Cassidy and Steve McQueen - you just made my point! Thanks my brother.

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 1:07PM

CJW is right. We all need to come together and do what we each do best.

I'll write the Contests, all the Best Anologies, and the Comedy, while the rest of you keep wishing you were Me.

Kwan| 1.19.13 @ 9:30AM

Former flat tracker Virgil "The Cooler King" Hilts (Steve McQueen) makes fantastic jump in an effort to evade Nazi troops. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9lMVDmGth4

CJW| 1.19.13 @ 12:39PM

Kwan
thanks for the link. He did the motorcycle rides, no stunt man.

Joellen| 1.20.13 @ 5:34PM

No one better than Steve McQueen!

Arnie| 1.18.13 @ 8:13AM

Oh guys, just admit it, you're all gay.

Albert likes to moonlight as a drag queen.
TLP likes young Asain boys.
CJW calls his love pig Steve McQueen.
And Pecos and Bob, well, they just like to hold hands, but no homo.

But it's nice to see you guys bonding. Really. It's beautiful.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.18.13 @ 8:36AM

So Arnie decided to crash the pary. Well, in your honor, then, I offer the following:

They say when we run out of rhymes
We’ll know then it’s the End of Times
But as long as Soros has got fundin’
We’ll have to put up with Jack London
But God might purge us of a sin
Each time we have to read V twin
And as he audits Heaven’s books
You know he writes off Alan Brooks
And when for sin we have to pay
He sends the scourge of Anna K
And should His Kingdom we usurp
We will receive the curse of Purp
God killed off dinosaurs like Barney
By raining down a plague like Arnie
So when I stand there on the Mount
And for my sins I give account
For when I didn’t follow rules
I had to suffer all these fools
I hope that I can get the credit
For all the curses that I edit
And when profanity they speak
I smile and turn the other cheek
And should my wrongs be then absolved
And God’s forgiveness be involved
When asking then for whom the bell tolls
Hear God answer “Go to Hell, Trolls”.

Pecos Pete| 1.18.13 @ 6:26PM

Well done!

CJW| 1.18.13 @ 8:09PM

Excellent, Albert.
It is an act of Christian charity to tolerate the Trolls, but still we can mock and ridicule with humor and a smile.

anna k from emory u| 1.18.13 @ 9:18AM

Oh, Arnie, you are such a disappointment. While I know I have caused much consternation with my behavior before on the main site, I have never had the temerity to disrupt the Contest.

Mr. TLP is to be commended for bringing together his fellow travelers for some light hearted examination of current events through their right wing prism.

Then, you show up and bring the HATE.

As someone who claims each day to be a beacon for Progressives, how dare you try to mock others by suggesting that they’re gay? Your remarks reveal that in your heart, you truly believe that such lifestyles are aberrant, and you just pander to the LBGT community to increase your base of power, while regarding all of them as freakish losers.

I fear you are one of my former students who has gone rogue. I try to mold them when they are young, but sometimes the lack of maturity bonds with inherent shortcomings, and I get a creature like Arnie.

Sorry, everyone.

R Martin| 1.18.13 @ 9:52AM

I think little Anna has Contest-envy. She would really like to enter but is afraid her colleagues in the faculty lounge might find out and relegate her to ghost writing for Albert. Still, it's worth keeping an eye out; I think she might slip one in soon.

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 12:23PM

I'm thinking that she's just too Stupid.

Plus, the only Movie she's ever seen, that she knows well enough to use is Leni Riefenstahl's: Triumph of the Will, so she's fairly limited, as far as Analogies go. Or, when Intelligent Thought is required. Or, when Economics is being discussed. As well as Good Manners, and Basic Hygene are the subjects.

She's pretty much your basic, Run of the Mill Occupy Skank, who spent most of this Summer standing next to the Rape Tents, holding a sign that read PICK ME.

I'll see what I can do to get rid of her, and that Pissant Queerhole - Arnie.

Warrior| 1.18.13 @ 8:22PM

Women from Emory are excellent at taking poles. Generally they use all three accepted variants proficiently. Arnie however is code for half and half, which is code for ahole.

CJW| 1.19.13 @ 3:56PM

"Mr. TLP is to be commended for bringing together his fellow travelers for some light hearted examination of current events through their right wing prism."

Apology accepted, Anna, even though your apology is from a left wing prism, and my acceptance is from a right wing prism.

CJW| 1.18.13 @ 2:20PM

Purpie/arnie the foul mouth Village Idiot

Well, well, we knew purpe/arnie was a racist, and thought God caused Hurricane Sandy to help Obama win. Now we know purpie/arnie is a homophobe, and obsessed with it. Sounds like projection. Good to see these tolerant Obama fanboys here.

Purpie/arnie would of course not join the escape since they love the totalitrians and probably snitch on rest. Or they would be the character in Stalag 17 that reported to the Nazis.

Other than that, Purpe/arnie certainly added to the discussion of what to do. If that is the most intelligent comment from the Purp/arnie lefty basement brigade, then we are assured of winning.

Kwan| 1.19.13 @ 9:44AM

Awnie, Awnie didn't you get the memo. The contest for Homos is on Tuesday's article "The Pink Charade: How Useful Idiot Homos Are Being Used By The Left".

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 3:34PM

As promised, there will be a Second Contest, Celebrating the Inauguration of Barack the 1st.

It is already up and running at Friday's "This Day In Art History".

You can go there, now. But it's meant to keep your Brain Synapses firing til Tuesday.

Enjoy.

Just don't abandon this thread, to go to the other one.

I have Faith, that you can do BOTH.

Pecos Pete| 1.18.13 @ 8:18AM

Source:
They're Coming to Take Me Away
Napoleon the 14th

I call it:
Freedom Lost

Remember when you Voted away
Our health and guns?
I asked to only be Free?

WELL,

You voted anyway and
Then the days got worse and worse
And now you see we're completely
corrupt living on the dole,

[chorus 1]
They're coming to take me away,
Haha, they're coming to take me away,
Ho ho, hee hee, ha ha,
To the FEMA farm
Where Life is Beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see
Those Nice Young Men
In their Clean Brown Coats
And they're coming to take me AWAY,
HA HAAAAA

You thought it was a joke,
and so you LAUGHED, YOU LAUGHED
When I had said that losing Freedom
Would make us slaves.

RIGHT?

Pecos Pete| 1.18.13 @ 8:18AM

You know you laughed.
I HEARD you laugh, you laughed
And laughed and laughed
And then they came for you,
And now you see.

[chorus 2]
They're coming to take you away,
Haha, they're coming to take you away,
Ho ho, hee hee, ha ha,
To the FEMA Home with Trees and Flowers
And Chirping Birds and basket weavers
Who sit and smile and
Twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to Take you Away,
HAHAAAAAAAAA

I farmed your food,
I guarded your house,
And this is how you pay me back
For all my kind unselfish loving deeds.

RIGHT?

Well, you just wait,
They'll get you yet,
You too will know Freedom Lost,

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.18.13 @ 9:39AM

It does make you wonder if there will be a Barack II, and if the reason that he was distressed about the Zimmerman-Martin incident was that a potential heir to the throne was killed.

Warrior| 1.18.13 @ 8:24PM

I heard that Chaz Bono is advising the family as to another alternative.

R Martin| 1.18.13 @ 9:57AM

Pecos and Albert, excellent entries. Anna is reading with great interest...and learning.

Joellen| 1.18.13 @ 10:16AM

Pete & Al - two of the best - you guys are poets and I think all of us know it!

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 1:12PM

She may be listening. But I doubt she's "Learning" anything.

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 1:15PM

I might have to cut that Pill in half.

Pecos Pete| 1.18.13 @ 7:05PM

I think
if you gave me 2
we'd find the missing link

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 3:35PM

As promised, there will be a Second Contest, Celebrating the Inauguration of Barack the 1st.

It is already up and running at Friday's "This Day In Art History".

You can go there, now. But it's meant to keep your Brain Synapses firing til Tuesday.

Enjoy.

Just don't abandon this thread, to go to the other one.

I have Faith, that you can do BOTH.

Arnie| 1.18.13 @ 8:54AM

Wow, you guys are like the Beatniks, except about 60 years too late.

Do you perform at coffee shops? You should go. I'm serious.

anna k from emory u| 1.18.13 @ 9:20AM

The problem with "20-somethings" is that they just don't know when to turn it off and go away.

I probably helped make him this way, even if Lady Gaga thinks he was born this way.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.18.13 @ 9:41AM

Your presence here, Arnie, reminds me of another analogy, about someone who is as welcome as a turd in the punchbowl (or for the Caddyshack fans amongst the regulars, a Baby Ruth in the swimming pool).

Bob Grant| 1.18.13 @ 11:45AM

Wanna bet that if you placed a powdered wig atop Arneeeeeee's head he'd look alot like the article's pic of Richard Savage, pursed lips and all?

Perhaps he's mad and simply projecting?

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.18.13 @ 12:47PM

You could be on to something, BG, though I would guess that Arnie has been putting on wigs and dancing around by himself for quite some time [in the manner of Buffalo Bill ("it puts the lotion on its skin") from "Silence of the Lambs"].

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 3:34PM

As promised, there will be a Second Contest, Celebrating the Inauguration of Barack the 1st.

It is already up and running at Friday's "This Day In Art History".

You can go there, now. But it's meant to keep your Brain Synapses firing til Tuesday.

Enjoy.

Just don't abandon this thread, to go to the other one.

I have Faith, that you can do BOTH.

Hardcard| 1.18.13 @ 10:45AM

This is my lead in to the contest, thanks arnie from west end ave. for that coffee shop remark, the master of ceremonies suggests a Greek theme for this as in the "300" film I saw that movie it was about the Greeks putting the squeeze on the Persians, I also remember a deformed ugly dwarf who ratted out the Greeks for a little poontang. The king of the spartans had large ears and a tough almost manlike wife (queen). It was a hopless battle in the end the Greeks took it all up that narrow crevace and were forever vanquished
to own and operate donut shops, diners and car services. I can remember in the old days a shout from Gus at the counter to spiro in the back semi-enclosed grill, MAKE IT NICE FOR THE COP!!! and then he would turn and ask WHAT KIND TOAST ? Our present day white house is alot like that crevace, and the emporer is stuffing it down our secret hole. I should win something now right monte how about a safari in Mali.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.18.13 @ 10:59AM

Flights are pretty cheap to Mali now, as no one is going there but the press (and they just stay in the hotel, and talk to each other, any way). Perhaps TLP can talk to Kaminsky's travel agent and pick up a ticket for there that won't break the contest's budget.

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 1:21PM

I'm thinking that the cost of the Phone Call would put us in the Red.

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 1:19PM

You are definately in the Running.

Well done.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 3:33PM

As promised, there will be a Second Contest, Celebrating the Inauguration of Barack the 1st.

It is already up and running at Friday's "This Day In Art History".

You can go there, now. But it's meant to keep your Brain Synapses firing til Tuesday.

Enjoy.

Just don't abandon this thread, to go to the other one.

I have Faith, that you can do BOTH.

davidh| 1.18.13 @ 11:17AM

Now tell me, what does that mean to be noble?

Your title gives you claim to the throne of our country, but men don't follow titles, they follow courage.

There are evil men. Accept this and you can accept that these men will seek to rule us. They are the elite and they are entitled. Freedom in America is taken for granted. As we take for granted our health until we fall ill.

davidh| 1.18.13 @ 11:33AM

Don't try to bend the spoon,
that's impossible.
Just realize the truth,
there is no spoon."

Our perception must change. We believe there is a choice. A choice between two parties. A choice between two candidates. This is the illusion.

Those with money and power (the elite) have taken that choice and created this illusion.

The real prize is our freedom. In the history of the civilized world no men have been free as we are in America. Never

This is resented by those who believe they are destined to rule us. Look at just the recent history of the last century. Is that an aberration? No, there are men who are evil. Tyrants. They are intent on domination and control. I do not know why there are such men. But they exist and are tireless.

davidh| 1.18.13 @ 11:53AM

Well, I dreamed I saw the silver spaceships flying
In the yellow haze of the sun
There were children crying and colors flying
All around the chosen ones
All in a dream, all in a dream
The loading had begun
Flyin' Mother nature's silver seed
To a new home in the sun

What if you were the elite and you believed as Bill Gates:
The earth was dying
500 million people could be supported, not 8 or 10 billion
The masses needed to be culled, ignorant as they are and destroying our beautiful planet.
Americans are the worst offenders, wasteful and arrogant.

It would be your right, nay duty to save our beautiful dying planet.
Evil men exist. I do not know why.
False flags are coming. The enemy is the American who will not be ruled. He must be silenced and conquered.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.18.13 @ 12:39PM

...Braveheart, Uri Geller and Neil Young-an interesting combination...

davidh| 1.18.13 @ 12:54PM

cheers...thanks for inviting me. We must keep our sense of humor, yes?

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.18.13 @ 1:06PM

Yes, I'm sure our gracious host, TLP, would agree on the importance of having a sense of humor.

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 1:25PM

I almost used Braveheart. And, that conversation that Wallace made to The Bruce, was what I was gonna use.

I still may, later on.

Nice Job, davidh.

And, thanks for coming.

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 1:27PM

Is there ANYTHING you don't know, Albert?

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.18.13 @ 2:10PM

What I don't know fills volumes, with the best selling one being "How to Make Enough Money With What You DO Know".

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 3:05PM

You and me, both.

Tina B| 1.19.13 @ 10:45AM

I thought I was hot shit for singing the whole song to myself in that Neil Young falsetto that I do so well. The spoon bending kinda floated through my pot and alcohol addled old brain, but didn't take root. Braveheart? Still over my head. Wow, davidh, I am impressed also.

Timmy? I think we need a Rookie of the Analogy Contest award. What say ye? Al? Pecos? Joellen? Common guys, that was da bomb for a newbie. Music, movie AND a fake magician all in one fell swoop. I can only sit here at my iPad and try my best to create. Sigh.

davidh| 1.19.13 @ 1:21PM

your kindness is overwhelming

thank you

Pecos Pete| 1.19.13 @ 1:53PM

Tina: Agreed on a newbie award for davidh. Maybe Tim could send him something nice in a form fitting unbreakable package instead of the bottle of Haywards Black he sent me in a paper bag that USPS drank.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 3:33PM

As promised, there will be a Second Contest, Celebrating the Inauguration of Barack the 1st.

It is already up and running at Friday's "This Day In Art History".

You can go there, now. But it's meant to keep your Brain Synapses firing til Tuesday.

Enjoy.

Just don't abandon this thread, to go to the other one.

I have Faith, that you can do BOTH.

CJW| 1.19.13 @ 4:01PM

Rookie of the Year: davidh.

Now, he will expect a signing bonus and multi-year, cut contract.

Joellen| 1.18.13 @ 12:13PM

Which leads us into that great 80's song "West End Girls" by Pet Shop Boys re written to

"The WEST will Prevail":

"One time when the West was nearly alive
they thrived on making it hard to survive
From coast to coast, east to west
there was no challenge that didnt go unchecked

By 2013 the West was occupied by those many of us distrust and even despise
It started slowly and a few who knew
when pointing it out were called cukoo

It's the Western funeral the left hopes for, oh yeah its the western funeral they have so longed for

Yet, we've got hearts of wonder, hearts of zeal
no stoping us who live to fulfill
that future that was promised to us all
in the Constitution of long ago

So no more whispering, get out of the darkness,
Let the light expose those who hide in the shadows
The UN does not run us, and the left will crumble
when the Western world remembers its motto

This Western world is tough as nails, we've got Americans who'll fight to prevail
and no marxist punk will ever succeed
in revoking our great liberty

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.18.13 @ 12:38PM

I'm plugging in my synthesizer to play along, Joellen (now if I can only figure out how to play).

Also:

Q.Which Pet Shop Boys lyrics could Arnie never sing during a polygraph examination without the administrator detecting deception?

A. "♭♫ I've got the brains ♫♬♩♪..."

davidh| 1.18.13 @ 1:02PM

Ten Years After....Alvin Lee has a good question, what do we do? The enemy has breached the gates and has control of the military assets. As well as the courts, education, teachers learners and incense burners.

Everywhere is freaks and hair(ies)
Dykes and fairies, tell me where is sanity
Tax the rich, feed the poor
Till there are no rich no more

I'd love to change the world
But I don't know what to do
So I'll leave it up to you

Population keeps on breeding
Nation bleeding, still more feeding economy
Life is funny, skies are sunny
Bees make honey, who needs money, monopoly

I'd love to change the world
But I don't know what to do
So I'll leave it up to you

World pollution, there's no solution
Institution, electrocution
Just black and white, rich or poor
Them and us, stop the war

I'd love to change the world
But I don't know what to do
So I'll leave it up to you

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 1:29PM

Wow.

davidh| 1.18.13 @ 1:53PM

Preppers, foretold By Jackson Browne in 1974

Some of them were dreamers
And some of them were fools
Who were making plans and thinking of the future
With the energy of the innocent
They were gathering the tools
They would need to make their journey back to nature
While the sand slipped through the opening
And their hands reached for the golden ring
In their hearts they turned to each other's heart for refuge
In the troubled years that came before the deluge

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 3:07PM

Now, you're just showing off.

davidh| 1.18.13 @ 4:22PM

caffeine

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 5:05PM

I'm just busting ya.

Keep'em coming.

Pecos Pete| 1.19.13 @ 1:54PM

davidh: Watch out, you may not appreciate Tim's shorts.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 3:35PM

As promised, there will be a Second Contest, Celebrating the Inauguration of Barack the 1st.

It is already up and running at Friday's "This Day In Art History".

You can go there, now. But it's meant to keep your Brain Synapses firing til Tuesday.

Enjoy.

Just don't abandon this thread, to go to the other one.

I have Faith, that you can do BOTH.

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 1:55PM

Braveheart.

After defeating the British (The Republicans keeping the House away from the Democrats) the Scottish Nobles (The Republican Leadership) bestows Willian Wallace (US) a Knighthood, thanks him for his deed (Electing Them) and then set out Arguing amongst themselves about each other's Land Claims, and each other's Claim to the Throne (Making the tough decisions)

Seeing this ( Their incessant squabbling) Wallace turns and leaves with his men (Us, no longer having Faith in the Republicans to do anything about their Enslavement under the Rule of Longshanks (Obama).

As they're leaving, the Bruce (John Boehnor) stops him outside, and tries to convince him (US) of the importance of Nobles ( The GOP Leadership) and Negotiations (Caving in on their Principles)

Wallace (US) turns to him (Boehnor) and tells him: We just beat the English (The Democrats, for the House) but they'll be back. (2014 Election) And, all you can do is squabble amongst yourself (No United Front against Obama ) for the Scraps from Longshank's Table (Obama's Agenda)

He (US) tells him (Boehnor) that Men don't follow Titles (The Leadership). They follow Courage (Standing firm on Conservative Principles)

If you (Boehnor) would just Lead Them (Stand Firm for Freedom, and against Socialist Tyranny) they would follow you (The Next Election). And, so would I (Us in 2014).

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 1:55PM

Beat that.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.18.13 @ 2:03PM

You do realize in your analogy that we are betrayed, broken on the rack (not morally, but physically), gutted, disemboweled, beheaded, and drawn and quartered.

I think Janet Napolitano has a manual to accomplish all of the above somewhere.

FREEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 3:10PM

What you just wrote, only justifies what I just wrote.

Warrior| 1.18.13 @ 8:27PM

Actually, if you add burning them alive, it would be Janet Reno.

davidh| 1.18.13 @ 3:03PM

PURP is probably a plant, paid blogger working multiple sites.

CJW| 1.18.13 @ 6:56PM

That has been the general belief here for some time, that purpie a/k/a the village idiot, is an overpaid $10 an hour troll.

Otherwise what normal sane intelligent person would post his drivel, knowing he is the laughinstock, and mocked and ridiculed by everyone here?

Some, including me, believe he serves a limited useful purpose by repeating the daily lefty opinions, unspported by facts and logic, which are easily refuted by the first commentator to reply.

Pecos Pete| 1.19.13 @ 1:56PM

CJ: commentator ... I like it. I was wondering what we were. Do you think MSNBC would hire any of us? I'm sure our Village Idiots would be shoo-ins if they applied.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 3:36PM

As promised, there will be a Second Contest, Celebrating the Inauguration of Barack the 1st.

It is already up and running at Friday's "This Day In Art History".

You can go there, now. But it's meant to keep your Brain Synapses firing til Tuesday.

Enjoy.

Just don't abandon this thread, to go to the other one.

I have Faith, that you can do BOTH.

CJW| 1.19.13 @ 3:47PM

Senor Pete
When you go to the MSNBC interview be sure to say:
1. The______________problem was caused by Bush. Either one, doesn't matter. If it is a big probem, say Reagan.

2. Obama is trying to fix the _____problem caused by Bush, or Reagan.

You will be hired.

davidh| 1.18.13 @ 2:22PM

excellent

Where is our Wallace?

He will surely be killed when he is identified.

History always gets repeated.

Joellen| 1.18.13 @ 2:40PM

where's our Wallace - right here on TAS - TLP; dont you remember they tried to kill him off of this website.

The rest can claim their character. Although I've seem this movie about 30 times, I cant remember all their names. Like the father & son - I think that would be Albert & CJW. Or the young man whose wife was raped by the lord, and who was able to take his revenge, that I am thinking is Pecos Pete.
The funny guy who became Wallace's right hand man, that's got to be Mike (the beach).

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 3:11PM

I agree with you.

Pesco is the girl who got Raped.

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 5:06PM

By his Horse.

CJW| 1.18.13 @ 6:00PM

Instead of Pesco let use Pesci, as in Joe, What do you say Pesco/Pesci?

Pecos Pete| 1.18.13 @ 6:41PM

I prefer,
if I must prefer,
instead of Pesco

that we think of Ben
who with his pen
raped the Treasury.

Pecos Pete| 1.18.13 @ 7:26PM

I am a gentle person with a poet's soul.

However, cross my line in the sand, and I become a terrifying monster from the deep. Otherwise, how could the Colonel share a foxhole with me?

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.18.13 @ 2:45PM

Happy Hour beckons. Time to steal analogies from my fellow patrons, and bring them back later.

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 3:09PM

Why am I thinking that - Happy Hour - means that Maude is on television, now?

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 3:13PM

Or, is it The Golden Girls?

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 3:14PM

Don't be afraid to go back and REREAD all of the Entries.

They are HILARIOUS.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 3:32PM

As promised, there will be a Second Contest, Celebrating the Inauguration of Barack the 1st.

It is already up and running at Friday's "This Day In Art History".

You can go there, now. But it's meant to keep your Brain Synapses firing til Tuesday.

Enjoy.

Just don't abandon this thread, to go to the other one.

I have Faith, that you can do BOTH.

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:44PM

I thnk most of you are familiar with this one. I've done a bit of editing to bring up to date. I think you;ll find it a good read.
When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people (God Fearing, law abiding conservative Americans)to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another (Socialist, Communist, drug addicts, perverts and Democrats in general)and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:45PM

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal-THAT NO ONE IS ENTITLED TO TAKE WHAT IS MINE AND GIVE IT TO ANOTHER, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life-ABORTION IS WRONG, Liberty THE RIGHT TO OWN A GUN AND IT IS NONE OF THE GOVERNMENTS BUSINESS IF I DO OR HOW MANY AND WHAT KIND I HAVE,and the pursuit of Happiness, TO BE LEFT THE HELL ALONE, KEEP WHAT IS MINE AND NOT HAVE THE OPINIONS, VIEWS OR LIFESTYLES OF OTHERS IMPOSED ON ME. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed WE THE PEOPLE, —

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:46PM

That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends OUR PRESENT GOVERNMENT, it is the Right of the People YOU AND ME to alter or to abolish it IN ANY WAY WE DEEM NECASSARY, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes, THE DEMOCRATS ARE LIKE TRANSIENTS, TAKING WHAT THEY WANT WITH NO REGARD FOR OTHERS OR LONGSTANDIN TRADITION; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:46PM

But when a long train of abuses and usurpations EXECUTIVE ORDERS AND AUTO PENS, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism OBAMA AND THE DEMCRATIC PARTY, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government REVOLT AND IMPRISON THOSE WHO WOULD DESTROY OUR WAY OF LIFE, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of WASHINGTON DC Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:47PM

He OBAMA, has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He OBAMA THOUGH HOLDER,has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance VOTER ID, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He OBAMA, has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only. THE REFUSAL TO ALLOW AMERICA TO BECOME ENERGY INDEPENDENT AND THE WHOLESALE SLAVERY OF AFRICAN AMERICANS BY KEEPING THEM ON FOODSTAMPS AND WITHOUT HOPE.

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:48PM

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He OBAMA,has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people. HE DOES THIS BY GOING AROUND CONGRESS AND ISSUING EXECUTIVE ORDERS.
He OBAMA,has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within. WHERE DO YOU START ITS SUCH A LONG LIST.

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:48PM

He OBAMA, has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He OBAMA, has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.
He OBAMA,has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He OBAMA, has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.
He OBAMA AND BUSH, has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies HOMELAND SECURITY with the Consent of our legislatures IN COMPLETE OPPOSITION TO THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED STATES..

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:49PM

He OBAMA, has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power BY RESTRICTING OUR RIGHT TO BE ARMED WITH ANY TYPE OF ARM WE MAY CHOOSE.
He OBAMA, has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:50PM

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:51PM

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 7:17PM

Well done.

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 7:18PM

Well done.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 3:37PM

As promised, there will be a Second Contest, Celebrating the Inauguration of Barack the 1st.

It is already up and running at Friday's "This Day In Art History".

You can go there, now. But it's meant to keep your Brain Synapses firing til Tuesday.

Enjoy.

Just don't abandon this thread, to go to the other one.

I have Faith, that you can do BOTH.

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:51PM

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:51PM

#@$#@ won't take the paragraph

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:52PM

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:53PM

BY DESTROYING OUR ECONOMY

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:54PM

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:54PM

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:55PM

Under the Patriot act we can be arrested and held without trial.

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:56PM

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences. Under the Patriot Act the government can do that.

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:57PM

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies. Does Arab Spring sound familiar?????

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:57PM

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments. Obama's czars and executive orders.

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:58PM

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

This what we all know he intends to do. He's already doing it by executive order.

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 5:13PM

One word: Decaf.

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 4:59PM

He OBAMA, has abdicated Government here, by declaring HIMSELF ABSOLUTE RULER us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has, he is and he's going to keep doing it.

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 5:00PM

He OBAMA,has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
That is what he intends to do.

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 5:01PM

He OBAMA, is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation

Doesn't this sound a lot like how Obama has been propping up the Muslim Brotherhood?????

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 5:02PM

He OBAMA, has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
When it starts he will call up the national guard from one state to go repel patriots in another, just like the soviets and chinese do.

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 5:03PM

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless HOMOSEXUAL, PERVERTS, LBGT, HOLLYWOOD AND NEWS MEDIA Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 5:03PM

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A FOREIGN BORN DEMOCRAT , whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 3:32PM

As promised, there will be a Second Contest, Celebrating the Inauguration of Barack the 1st.

It is already up and running at Friday's "This Day In Art History".

You can go there, now. But it's meant to keep your Brain Synapses firing til Tuesday.

Enjoy.

Just don't abandon this thread, to go to the other one.

I have Faith, that you can do BOTH.

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 5:04PM

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our LIBERAL brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 5:05PM

We, therefore, the GOD FEARING, LAW ABIDING, CONSERVATIVES of the united States of America, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these STATES, solemnly publish and declare, That these united STATES are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the RULERS IN WASHINGTON DC and that all political connection between them ,AND THE CURRENT FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF THE UNTIED STATES is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor

CJW| 1.18.13 @ 6:06PM

Hear! Hear!
Nice work.

Can we add:
He is annoying.

Pecos Pete| 1.18.13 @ 6:46PM

Stkman, that was one hell-uv-an indictment of King O, the democrats and the DC cesspool. Agreed!

Job| 1.19.13 @ 10:20AM

where do we sign at?

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 2:05PM

You can sign on the line next to where I signed, on the Loan I'm trying to get.

I need a Co-Signer.

If you wanna have any chance at winning this Contest, you'll sign it.

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 5:16PM

Albert?

R Martin| 1.18.13 @ 5:32PM

Albert went drinking at 2:45. You're on your own, Little Timmy.

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 5:17PM

The post above are the Declaration of Independance. Those things written over 200 years ago are as true and evident today as they were in 1776.
Our government is in the process of making us all criminals.

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 5:21PM

I bet Tim is wearing his underwear on his head right about now.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.18.13 @ 9:14PM

I recognized the document, and its minor alterations. It was an impressive effort- in 1776, ships with many red coats were sent in response, and battles were fought on fields not too far from my home (Cooch's Bridge, the Battle of the Brandywine, etc.).

Eventually, we won.

I'm thinking that if these were those times, the chief executive leading the opposition would not want us to call him Mr. President, but would prefer Your Majesty, and to have us Bow.

I think that's why they didn't want the British Army to seize the store of contemporary assault weapons stored at Lexington & Concord.

Whether or not you concur with Stkmn's conclusions or thoughts on timing, is there anyone who disagrees with his facts?

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 2:07PM

His facts are solid.

It's his lack of anything resembling a Kiss of my Ass that I find troubling.

R Martin| 1.18.13 @ 5:30PM

Nice piece of work, Stkman. Don't listen to Tim. He's envious.

Stkman| 1.18.13 @ 5:48PM

As he should be, because my skid mark is bigger and darker than his!

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 5:56PM

Wrong again, little Rickey.

I never get writing envy.

Penis Envy.

But, never writing envy.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 3:31PM

As promised, there will be a Second Contest, Celebrating the Inauguration of Barack the 1st.

It is already up and running at Friday's "This Day In Art History".

You can go there, now. But it's meant to keep your Brain Synapses firing til Tuesday.

Enjoy.

Just don't abandon this thread, to go to the other one.

I have Faith, that you can do BOTH.

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 6:02PM

I called the NRC two days ago, and told them that they should hold their ground, concerning the Debt Ceiling.

I told them that they should tell the Democrats that: When you Pass a Budget, which the Constitution commands them to do every year? We'll talk about raising the Debt Ceiling.

Two days later - Today - The Republicans made that very same demand.

Your Welcome.

Pecos Pete| 1.18.13 @ 6:46PM

Thank you, my Beauty.

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 7:16PM

I am Pretty.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.18.13 @ 9:23PM

...Pretty, and Witty and Bright...

Bob Grant| 1.19.13 @ 12:28AM

TLP would look Delish in a powdered wig. Imagine, if you will, if Eric Carmen and Phoebe Snow had a love child.

Pecos Pete| 1.19.13 @ 9:57AM

Bob, you perfectly described Tim.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 2:14PM

It's funny you should say that.

I just finished putting Delish on my Dot Dog.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 3:37PM

As promised, there will be a Second Contest, Celebrating the Inauguration of Barack the 1st.

It is already up and running at Friday's "This Day In Art History".

You can go there, now. But it's meant to keep your Brain Synapses firing til Tuesday.

Enjoy.

Just don't abandon this thread, to go to the other one.

I have Faith, that you can do BOTH.

Warrior| 1.18.13 @ 8:45PM

Look what happened when I tried to post my analogy:

YOUR POST (#926131) HAS BEEN MARKED AS SPAM BY A THIRD-PARTY SPAM FILTER. IF THIS IS A MISTAKE, PLEASE EMAIL PETERSONK@SPECTATOR.ORG.

And the bullshit they allow the liberals to post goes unchallenged.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 2:12PM

Actually, I have thought that about your Analogies, many times.

If by "Spam" they mean "Crap". (Just kidding)

Warrior| 1.18.13 @ 8:56PM

Once again from the top.

In honor of Arnie and Anna who believed that the contest was fashioned after a Seinfeld episode. Like all of their Fluke partners, they left disappointed.

To show their progressive attitudes and behaviors, I would like to link to two videos (here comes the analogy Tim) which not only show what they do to our Constitution but also points towards a defective chromosome or two.

Arnie in action: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBjiY56plus

Anna in action at emory: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2lSpJx1lQo

Warrior| 1.18.13 @ 8:59PM

Sorry I posted the wrong video to Anna. Completely by accident I posted Joe Biden in makeup describing the video. The real video is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lzvlZCA6Co

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.18.13 @ 9:21PM

Can you be sure Big Tex is not a part of the Obama campaign, because I'm pretty sure he has a show on MSNBC now.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 3:29PM

As promised, there will be a Second Contest, Celebrating the Inauguration of Barack the 1st.

It is already up and running at Friday's "This Day In Art History".

You can go there, now. But it's meant to keep your Brain Synapses firing til Tuesday.

Enjoy.

Just don't abandon this thread, to go to the other one.

I have Faith, that you can do BOTH.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.19.13 @ 1:01PM

I’ve been waiting for it, but after a respectable period of time, I’ve yet to see it appear. In 1960, the Duke produced a film which told the tale (with artistic license) of a famous last stand in the battle for independence by Texas.

After Mexico’s elected leader Santa Ana disregarded and dissolved the legislature, many of its states went into rebellion against his dictatorial rule. Santa Ana led a punitive expedition to quash the movement and restore the control by his illegitimate central government. Texans (or Texicans, if you prefer) were raising an Army led by Sam Houston, and needed time to rally to defeat the despot and his army (which was trained and equipped in the manner of Europe at the time, which so many dictators admired).

To buy Texas the time it needed, a delaying force was left at an old Spanish mission called the Alamo. The Duke’s film begins as Travis, the uptight regular, is given the mission to hold the fort there. He is reinforced by other regulars such as Dickinson, and a rough edged militia with the ragged adventurer Jim Bowie in charge. From Tennessee, former US Congressman and frontier legend Davy Crockett (played by John Wayne himself in the film he directed) brought along a contingency of volunteers to lend to the fight.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.19.13 @ 1:02PM

Despite many differences between the various factions and flaws amongst them all, to a man, the force holds together as Santa Ana begins his assault with an army that outnumbers the defenders more than ten to one. After several attacks are repelled, and the offer of surrender is refused, Santa Ana has his field musicians play the Mexican funeral song “De Guello”, signifying no quarter will be given to those in the fort.

The Mexican Army renews its offensive, and eventually all of defenders are overwhelmed and killed. The film ends, but in real history, the sacrifice paid off, and eventually the Mexican Army was routed at San Jacinto, and Santa Ana was captured while hiding in the uniform of an enlisted soldier. His life is spared in exchange for independence, though he does rise to power once again in Mexico, and is thwarted with his attempt to take back Texas ( and loses and/ or sells significant amounts of former Mexican territory to the US with another unsuccessful military venture).

For our purposes, we know who Santa Ana represents. The composite force at the Alamo represents (like it does in the other analogies this weekend) the forces on the right who will have to come together and be prepared for the ultimate sacrifice if the evil tyranny is to be defeated.

Don’t be surprised on Monday if, at one of the many inaugural balls, the orchestra strikes up “De Guello”.

Pecos Pete| 1.19.13 @ 1:59PM

Don Dom: Wouldn't it be delightful if the band played The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You?

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.19.13 @ 2:01PM

It would, though I'm pretty sure he'd try to have a Predator drone fire a laser into them if he thought they were.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 2:21PM

I'm thinking that "TAPS" would actually be a much more fitting tune, for this Travesty.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 3:31PM

As promised, there will be a Second Contest, Celebrating the Inauguration of Barack the 1st.

It is already up and running at Friday's "This Day In Art History".

You can go there, now. But it's meant to keep your Brain Synapses firing til Tuesday.

Enjoy.

Just don't abandon this thread, to go to the other one.

I have Faith, that you can do BOTH.

CJW| 1.19.13 @ 1:13PM

The all time best pep talk to fight the enemy, by Shakepeare , King Harry at Agincourt with 1000 Brits against a numerically superior French force:

WESTMORELAND. O that we now had here
But one ten thousand of those men in England
That do no work to-day!

KING. What's he that wishes so?
My cousin Westmoreland? No, my fair cousin;
If we are mark'd to die, we are enow
To do our country loss; and if to live,
The fewer men, the greater share of honour.
God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.
By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,
Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
It yearns me not if men my garments wear;
Such outward things dwell not in my desires.
But if it be a sin to covet honour,
I am the most offending soul alive.
No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England.
God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour
As one man more methinks would share from me
For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
We would not die in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to die with us

CJW| 1.19.13 @ 1:15PM

continued:

This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.'
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.19.13 @ 1:42PM

That Shakespeare fella sure had a way with words. Did he ever write any movies or TV shows?

CJW| 1.19.13 @ 3:43PM

I think our friend David Chase was inspired to write Rockford and the Sopranos by Shakespeare.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.19.13 @ 5:21PM

...and they didn't have to give him a writing credit or pay him a royalty...

Pecos Pete| 1.19.13 @ 2:02PM

CJW is a showoff. But, I like him anyway.

CJW| 1.19.13 @ 3:39PM

Senor Pete
I have not talent to write poetry like you, Albert, Joellen, K Jack, and others, so I have no choice but to steal, I mean copy, from the greats. I learned this from Joey Biden. Someday, in the future, young conservatives will be copyng you, Albert, Joellen, K Jack, and the others.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 2:27PM

I get the St. Crispin Day part.

But, who's St. Crispian, and how did he get a day?

CJW| 1.19.13 @ 4:09PM

Tim
Crispin and Crispian were brothers who tried to convert, or civilize the Gauls-French ( a hopeless task) but were martyred. Their feast day was Oct 25, which is a famous day for battles, such as the Charge of the Light Brigade, Agincourt, and Leyte Gulf.

Tina B| 1.19.13 @ 7:02PM

Oh CJ, how right those words are for this time in history, again. Give me Liberty, or give me death.

R Martin| 1.19.13 @ 1:39PM

Good, appropriate, relevant stuff from Albert and CJW. Woe is us that the men described in those pieces do not serve in congress today.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 3:30PM

As promised, there will be a Second Contest, Celebrating the Inauguration of Barack the 1st.

It is already up and running at Friday's "This Day In Art History".

You can go there, now. But it's meant to keep your Brain Synapses firing til Tuesday.

Enjoy.

Just don't abandon this thread, to go to the other one.

I have Faith, that you can do BOTH.

Kwan| 1.19.13 @ 1:48PM

Movie: Fist of Fury
The film is set in the early 20th century in the Shanghai International Settlement. Chen Zhen (Bruce Lee) returns to the Jingwu school to marry his fiance and finds out that his martial arts teacher has died -actually he was poisoned by someone inside the school acting on orders from Hiroshi Suzuki the master of the Japanese Dojo in the Hongkou District- Chen find out who poisoned his teacher and beats him and his partner to death then hangs them from lamposts. Chen is the suspect in the murders and the police begin to search for him. Suzuki wants the Jingwu School closed down and sends his students to attack members of the school. Chen returns to the Dojo to fight Suzuki who he now realizes was responsible for his teacher's death, but visiting Russian mob boss Petrov tells Suzuki, "Let me take care of him." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRC8Nn6PREI Chen quickly dispatches Petrov and goes after Suzuki who tries to ambush Chen with a sword Chen kills Suzuki and avenges his teacher. http://www.youtube.com/watch?f.....t7NUEm0mMM
Analogy: Suzuki represents the left that is poisoning our country and who must be confronted and defeated. Chen represents the patriots that know that sooner or later the left will have to be confronted and destroyed if the country is to survive.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.19.13 @ 2:04PM

Excellent choice. Bruce Lee beats the heck of out Jackie Chan (figuratively, of course) in this contest, given Mr. Chan's thoughts on the US.

Pecos Pete| 1.19.13 @ 2:19PM

Albert: Don't be picking on my man! All he said was, I think, is that the USA has a lot of corruption. My only complaint was that he didn't specifically reference King O.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.19.13 @ 3:28PM

Certainly, what he was quoted as saying gets said here each day, but it appeared he was referring to all of us, not just the regime. Likewise, as he was comparing the Chinese regime favorably to us (even the POTUS only aspires to exercise the kind of power and corruption present in the Red Chinese government), I have added Jackie to my the page of my list of idiot actors starting with Asner, Ed.

Kwan| 1.19.13 @ 8:22PM

Certainly, what he was quoted as saying gets said here each day, but it "appeared" he was referring to all of us, not just the regime. Likewise, as he was comparing the Chinese regime favorably to us (even the POTUS only aspires to exercise the kind of power and corruption present in the Red Chinese government)...???? Albert are you feeling alright today? Where was I comparing the Red Chinese regime to anything? The movie takes place in China before there is a Communist regime. It's a simple analogy contest. Tim used the Greek 300 fighting the Persians Chen is the same as the Greek 300 only he's fighting Suzuki. How your imagination came to this conclusion is a gen-u-wine mystery.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.19.13 @ 8:28PM

Not you, Kwan. Jackie Chan made remarks recently reported that the US was the most corrupt country. I referenced Jackie Chan's remarks in complimenting your superior selection of Bruce Lee. Pesco is a Jackie Chan fan, and was defending him. I was continuing my thoughts on Jackie Chan.

I hope that clears it up.

Kwan| 1.19.13 @ 9:04PM

My mistake Albert. I already told Pecos to switch to Jet Li over Jackie Chan. Actually I think Chan retired from kung fu movies. I think it had to do with age.

Pecos Pete| 1.19.13 @ 8:37PM

Kwan, Albert was chastising me, gently, for not having read the full remarks made by Jackie Chan. I stand fully corrected and am humbled by my better(s). Now I have to go spend the night in the barn with my horses. Oh, woe is me.

Pecos Pete| 1.19.13 @ 2:04PM

Kwan, now I know I'm going to go a Jackie Chan.

Kwan| 1.19.13 @ 8:50PM

Forget Jackie Chan he's a comic/clown/gymnast martial artist. Jet Li is the modern day version of Bruce Lee. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYLv-2RHJN4

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 2:33PM

Finally. Something Chinese from Mr. Kwan.

I was beginning to think he was like "Donna Chang" from that Seinfeld episode.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 3:29PM

As promised, there will be a Second Contest, Celebrating the Inauguration of Barack the 1st.

It is already up and running at Friday's "This Day In Art History".

You can go there, now. But it's meant to keep your Brain Synapses firing til Tuesday.

Enjoy.

Just don't abandon this thread, to go to the other one.

I have Faith, that you can do BOTH.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.19.13 @ 9:10PM

Actually, I always thought Kwan was Korean.

CJW| 1.20.13 @ 9:33AM

In Pgh if we see a name like Kwan we assume it was shortened from Kwanowski or Kwanosevich.

TLP| 1.20.13 @ 9:48AM

That's what I said: Donna Chang.

Hardcard| 1.19.13 @ 2:13PM

Where the hell did all these interlopers come from? I thought this was a theme driven contest, with specific rules for participation, I knew I would never be chosen as a finalist for the big and wonderful prizes because I play by the rules, just as obamadingo, and his hostile tribe of grifters and felons play by the rules. I want a really big prize please, talk to Mr. Tyrell. Is benny stein's office available yet, the one overlooking the Watergate Towers, or the stein's Malibu Beachfront Mansion would do never mind that chalet in Idaho it's too cold there.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 2:36PM

You may yet win the 1st Place Viagra Pill.

I don't know how "Large" it will be, but at least it will last 4 Hours.

I've got my Fingers Crossed.

I know you can do it.

(He can't do it.)

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 2:40PM

Where are all the Girls?

We've got a Contest, where the Grand Prize is a 4 Hour Boner, and there's no Girls involved?

I figured that Tina B would be making every other Entry.

What am I missing, here?

Warrior| 1.19.13 @ 4:17PM

Maybe they are out producing a video that I will post with another crap analogy???

TLP| 1.20.13 @ 9:55AM

Don't you mean - Spam?

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 2:43PM

I can't say this, enough.

Go back and Reread all off the Entries.

They're Hilarious.

And, by "They're" I mean - Mine.

Hardcard| 1.19.13 @ 3:15PM

What should I do after 4 hours? Can I go to the
7-11 or talk to the neighbors daughters in the backyard. What are these prize pills for ? Will it give me a rise to the occasion, I take amodium every day will I get a bad reaction, remember mr. al roker.

Bob Grant| 1.19.13 @ 4:51PM

With a name like Hardcard, I'm sure a use will pop up in no time.

Regarding the neighbor's daughter's, you could reinact the Porky's shower scene, assuming you have a wooden fence.

Bob Grant| 1.19.13 @ 4:53PM

neighbor's daughters.

Bob Grant| 1.19.13 @ 4:59PM

But look, man, when you get 10 to 20, don't tell the authorities where the idea originated.

Capish?

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.19.13 @ 5:24PM

Speaking of Al Roker, if you watch Warrior's videos, you'll see have Mr. Roker missed an opportunity to express himself with his art at the White House.

Bob Grant| 1.19.13 @ 6:02PM

So Al,

From this day forward, when one slightly soil one's pants, and brag about it on national tv, it shall be referred to as "Rokering"?

What say you?

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.19.13 @ 8:22PM

Notify Merriam-Webster, Thorndyke and Barnhart. I think they have an addition for their next edition.

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 3:28PM

As promised, there will be a Second Contest, Celebrating the Inauguration of Barack the 1st.

It is already up and running at Friday's "This Day In Art History".

You can go there, now. But it's meant to keep your Brain Synapses firing til Tuesday.

Enjoy.

Just don't abandon this thread, to go to the other one.

I have Faith, that you can do BOTH.

Warrior| 1.19.13 @ 4:19PM

I should have held the Chaz Bono reference back until the 2nd movement.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.19.13 @ 4:27PM

My first entry is there. After davidh put forth so many lyrics, I updated a former hit from the Doobie Bros. (easy, Tina B.) for that particular contest in honor of Dear Leader (or, Der Fuehrer, if you prefer) and those who returned him to office.

Tina B| 1.19.13 @ 7:13PM

Albert, I can't help it if music speaks to my heart so.I mean Alvin Lee lyrics, how cool. You guys knock my socks off with the movie rewrites, and the poetry. Snap. Snap. Snap. And all I've got is my corny song rewrites. And nobody even remembers my choices. Oh woe is me. So I read all the entries, feel even more useless, and begin cutting. I'm emo. Just kidding. A little 8th grader joke. I'm going back to find your Doobie Bros, and maybe even a Doobie.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.19.13 @ 8:23PM

I knew if I used that word along with hit, you might be so inspired.

Tina B| 1.20.13 @ 8:28AM

It worked. I found one.

BL in AK| 1.20.13 @ 4:57AM

After many brews at our annual Beer and Barleywine Festival this weekend, Arnie and Anna showing up here me thinks of the famous "Turkeys Away" episode from WKRP in Cinncinati. Soros is the station owner Mr. Carlson who comes up with a great PR stunt by throwing turkeys (Arnie and Anna) from helicopters "Honestly thought they knew how to fly" onto a crowded shopping center parking lot. And the innocent 5 time winner of the "Buckeye Golden Hog Award" Les Nessman describes the horror of the turkeys splatting to the pavement live (the TAS gang daily outing of their presence).

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.20.13 @ 7:47AM

Oh, the humanity...

BL in AK| 1.20.13 @ 2:21PM

indeed..

TLP| 1.20.13 @ 3:08PM

I wanted to thank you for the Shirts, William, but I lost your Email Address.

Send me a shout out, so I'll have it, again.

BL in AK| 1.20.13 @ 6:28PM

Tim-glad to see the USPS still delivers. Will do.

BL in AK| 1.20.13 @ 5:24AM

Entrywise how about Sly Stallone's First Blood series, especially I and III. Rambo is Us, the small town sheriff in the first is BHO who wouldn't let Rambo have a simple meal and Col Trouter played by Richard Crenna negotiating with Rambo to give it up is Boehner for the analogy. Then in III the Col is taken hostage in a Russian prison in Afghanistan and Rambo uses the Muhajadeen rebels and caves to free his CO. Reality since that 1988 movie then flips wrong to right, and up is down for our current scenario. Just sayin'

cheerz
BL

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.20.13 @ 7:52AM

At the beginning of III, isn't Rambo hanging out in a monastery in Thailand? This does start to sound familiar.

BL in AK| 1.20.13 @ 2:18PM

Albert-yes, you are correct (no big surprise there). At conclusion of FB I Rambo gets locked up. So in R II the Col offers him a get out of jail card to run a mission to free POWs. Hollywood gives the audience a dose of Russian influence in electronic torture methods. The CIA spook (Hillary) leaves Rambo and one of the POWs out to dry (Benghazi) at the extraction point. After getting captured and tortured, Rambo gets liberated and shoots up all the "high tech" back in NKP or one of the other black ops Thailand bases and threatens the spook. R II ends with R walking off into the Thailand countryside. So in R III Col Trouter finds him stick fighting in Bangkok and giving his winnings to the monks who in return are giving him food and shelter at the monastery. Once Col Trouter gets captured by the Russians in Afghanistan, the new CIA spook comes back to the monastery to let R know the Col's disposition to subtly ask again for his help, since he turned them down the first time. In R III we see the Col getting the Russian electronic torture from the renegade Russian General. R III is presented as the time period just before Sen Charlie Wilson gave the Muhajadeen the Stinger missiles to shoot down the Soviet helicopters.

TLP| 1.20.13 @ 3:11PM

I'll say it, again: Is there anything that Albert doesn't know?

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.20.13 @ 3:21PM

I've seen First Blood and Rambo, but only a few minutes of Rambo III.

The folks in Nakorn Phanom will be pleased that you remember the secret base there watching the Ho Chi Minh trail.

BL in AK| 1.20.13 @ 6:27PM

Albert- One of my beer drinking buddies was stationed in NKP '70-72 doing Comm for the 5sfg guys in their interdictions along HCMt. One of my older cousins actually wired the place before '62 he is a retired electrician. My drinking buddy was also one of last 100 GIs to leave Saigon in'75 before the fall. Now retired AF doing the snowbird thing and fishing during the summers.

Tina B| 1.20.13 @ 8:30AM

Gosh if I could only remember just one movie plot. Just one.

Pecos Pete| 1.20.13 @ 11:05AM

Tina, maybe your memory has been erased: The movie ... Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind with Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet.

Probably would be a good allegory for the mindless voters for King O. It is only through the process of loss that they discover what they had to begin with.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.20.13 @ 3:18PM

...or Adam Sandler's "Fifty First Dates", where a traumatic brain injury causes Drew Barrymore to forget everything that occurred since the accident once she falls to sleep each night (kind of like the low information voters who forget everything that Obama has screwed up, and remember nothing since the GWB administration)...

TLP| 1.20.13 @ 3:12PM

Have you tried Deep Throat?

TLP| 1.20.13 @ 5:17PM

Hello?

TLP| 1.20.13 @ 5:51PM

Anybody there?

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.20.13 @ 6:44PM

Everyone's walking back up the hall to the Art Museum, now that the movies are over.

Pecos Pete| 1.20.13 @ 7:39PM

I just finished milking the cow, picking up the eggs, slopping the hogs and throwing hay over the fence for the horses. Look for me in the parade tomorrow.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.20.13 @ 8:01PM

Actually, after tomorrow's parade, I expect folks like us will be following behind and cleaning up for years to come.

Tina B| 1.21.13 @ 2:42AM

Ahhhhh, the inauguration, coronation, conflaguration, abomination, loss of a nation, power inflation, evil emanation, freedom usurpation, religious demarcation, sharia's domination, lost determination, my country's ruination.

Joellen| 1.21.13 @ 7:23AM

Tis true then, all good things must come to an end - So long America, they never really got to know ya.

TLP| 1.21.13 @ 9:14AM

It be Prizes Time.

Who did the best job at being Clever, this weekend? Who told the best yarn?

When I look at the sheer volume of Entries, I find myself repeating the words of that young Scottsman as he looked out at the Assembledge of English Soldiers on the other side of the Field: "So many".

Obviously, mine were the Best. I think we can all agree on that. And, our Regulars always can be relied upon to put on a good show. Joellen was especially good this game. Albert was Albert. Pesco was Pecos. CJW gets better everytime. Little Rickey is getting all grown up. And it felt like Bob Grant had never left.

Someone wrote at the beginning of this - "Obviously, mine were the best" - and I appreciate that. Thank You, whomever you are. That was very nice, and you didn't have to do that. But, as we all know, I am not eligible for any of the Prizes. Plus, I already have them.

The Winners of the One Viagra Pill (which I will bite in half ) are davivh - a new participant in our Game, and Stkman - whom we can't get rid of fast enough.

The Loser?

That's easy: Anna K and her little dweeb companion - Arnie.

Will I be sending them a Skid Mark original from my Private Collection? No.

Their Lives are already one big Skidmark, and I'm sure they Stink much worse than anything I could push out.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.21.13 @ 10:12AM

Congrats to davidh for sharing first prize in his first outing with the heavily prepared Stkmn.

Once again, all due credit to the host, TLP, for organizing the soiree (or schwar hay, for those singing along in the karaoke format) along with the rest of us in the regular contest militia ("regular militia" might seem an oxymoron for some, but I think it works here). In addition to this get together, at the suggestion of Mr. Grant, he organized his own competition on a different thread (sort of like the Walmart next to the Sam’s Club location). Happy Jack must be awash in envy.

Let us not forget young Matthew Walther, who now has a thread with over 330 comments on it that aren’t about the literature wars in Post-Shakespearean England.

Now, back to the Art Musuem for the party there.

TLP| 1.21.13 @ 2:23PM

You never disappoint, Albert.

Well done.

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Letter to the Editor View all comments (335) | Leave a comment Leave a comment

allanius | 1.14.13 @ 7:40AM

C. Vernon Crisler | 1.14.13 @ 10:41AM

Pecos Pete| 1.14.13 @ 10:43AM

hrgfue | 1.15.13 @ 1:58AM

CHAUSSURES FEMME AIR MAX LTD | 1.15.13 @ 2:35AM

TLP| 1.15.13 @ 2:54PM

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TLP| 1.15.13 @ 3:54PM

TLP| 1.15.13 @ 3:54PM

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.15.13 @ 7:43PM

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 10:09AM

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.15.13 @ 8:24PM

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.15.13 @ 8:25PM

TLP| 1.16.13 @ 9:39AM

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.16.13 @ 12:15PM

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 9:34AM

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 1:22PM

Joellen| 1.18.13 @ 10:09AM

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.18.13 @ 10:22AM

R Martin| 1.17.13 @ 4:03PM

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 4:31PM

Warrior| 1.17.13 @ 8:17PM

TLP| 1.16.13 @ 9:18AM

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.16.13 @ 12:13PM

Jacob McCandles| 1.18.13 @ 10:07AM

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.18.13 @ 10:14AM

Pecos Pete| 1.16.13 @ 8:27PM

CJW| 1.16.13 @ 9:46PM

Pecos Pete| 1.17.13 @ 9:00AM

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 9:35AM

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 9:43AM

Warrior| 1.17.13 @ 8:18PM

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 8:25PM

Warrior| 1.17.13 @ 9:15PM

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 9:37PM

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 12:54PM

R Martin| 1.17.13 @ 3:39PM

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 4:32PM

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 4:50PM

Pecos Pete| 1.18.13 @ 6:50PM

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 9:19AM

Pecos Pete| 1.20.13 @ 10:10AM

TLP| 1.16.13 @ 8:34PM

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.16.13 @ 10:06PM

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 10:04AM

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 1:33PM

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 1:35PM

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 2:20PM

Warrior| 1.17.13 @ 8:19PM

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 8:23PM

Warrior| 1.17.13 @ 9:19PM

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 11:08PM

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 11:17PM

Warrior| 1.18.13 @ 11:11AM

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 12:57PM

Von Mises Jr| 1.18.13 @ 3:30PM

TLP| 1.19.13 @ 9:23AM

Kwan| 1.19.13 @ 11:11AM

Pecos Pete| 1.17.13 @ 9:01AM

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 9:47AM

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 2:21PM

Pecos Pete| 1.18.13 @ 6:52PM

Hardcard| 1.17.13 @ 8:51AM

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 9:47AM

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 10:06AM

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 10:01AM

Hardcard| 1.17.13 @ 11:07AM

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 1:26PM

TLP| 1.17.13 @ 2:27PM

Warrior| 1.17.13 @ 8:21PM

TLP| 1.18.13 @ 12:59PM

Bob Grant| 1.17.13 @ 1:47PM

Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.17.13 @ 2:07PM