Many drugs that require a prescription at home, including many
antibiotics, are available over the counter, and very cheaply, here
in Sri Lanka, as in India. So skip the $25 for cipro before you
leave home, and buy it in Sri Lanka for $5 when you arrive.
My wife had a toothache in Galle. We were referred to a local
dentist who had trained at Kings College, London for five years. He
gave up the chance to make a lot of money in order to return to the
home country that he loves. To make a long story short, an X-ray
cost $4 and three fillings with the most modern Japanese
glass-polymer material were a total of $75. Coincidentally, a
friend e-mailed yesterday to tell me he went to Costa Rica to get
some dental work done. He said that including the cost of airfare
and hotel, it was cheaper than using his dentist in Florida, and he
thought the quality of care was better in Costa Rica as well.
ANOTHER MORNING WATCHING my kids on the beach, another
conversation with a middle-aged local man about the 2004 tsunami.
Semantha (typically names ending in “a” belong to men here) drives
a tuk-tuk, the ubiquitous three-wheelers that serve as the primary
form of taxi here and on much of the subcontinent. On the morning
of December 26, 2004, he was driving when the colossal wave caught
him and his tuk-tuk and swept them away. The next thing he
remembers, he was clinging to a tree, some 50-75 feet off the
ground, naked. Less than 5 minutes later, the water was gone, but
so was his life as he knew it. His tuk-tuk was never found. His
modest home was destroyed, but fortunately none of his three
children died.
He says that the government never responded to the claims for
homes or property made by many thousands of poor people, that
instead they just helped the rich. I don’t know what’s true, but I
believe he believes it. He was recently able to get a loan for a
tuk-tuk, and now lives in a wooden hut with a banana-leaf roof
about a mile inland. He did not seem desperate; he never asked me
for anything, though my wife and I did hire him to take us to town
in his tuk-tuk and paid him about double what the fare was. To put
the ordinary Sri Lankan’s income in perspective, we were his only
fare of the day, a not uncommon occurrence in a place with a
surplus of tuk-tuks. And from us he earned about $13, about double
his average daily income on which he must support three
children.
After five wonderful, relaxing, true vacation days at the Apa
Villa in Thalpe, a few miles east of Galle, we head to back to
Colombo to finish our journey. Yesterday, my son, almost 5, said “I
miss my home.” When I told him we’d be home in about a week, he
replied, “No! I don’t want to leave Sri Lanka.”
Our last dinner here was one of the most memorable: an
incredible seafood buffet at the Sea Spray restaurant at the
historic Galle Face Hotel, sitting about 20 feet from the sea wall,
watching and hearing the waves and, yes, the sea spray, of this
always-busy ocean. My father-in-law, a man who has seen a lot of
things in a lot of places and is not easily impressed, said “this
must be one of the world’s great spots to spend an evening.”
I too have been a lot of places on this planet, to every
continent except Antarctica — and of those all but South America at
least four times. My wife and I have rarely been as willing to stay
in a place for longer, rarely thinking as soon about returning, as
we are about Sri Lanka. It’s an extremely long trip for Americans,
but for those willing to endure the time and cost to get here, the
reward is a beautiful country with a beautiful nature, in every
sense that can be meant.
TLP| 1.11.13 @ 8:13AM
Sri Lanka. Look at you. Is that your Wife in the picture? Cause if it is? You might wanna STAY in Sri Lanka.
What was it like, over there? Are the women smoking hot? Are they naked, from the waist up? Are they naked, from the waist down? Are they totally naked? Were you ever naked when you were there? Did you ever drink 4 or 5 Bhuddist Monestary Ice Teas, and then a face plant on the Tiki Bar floor, naked?
What was pooping like, over there? Do you really have to squat over a hole in the ground? Is it true that you got so drunk that you pooped in the Village Well by accident? Was Andy Dick, there?
You're so lucky. Sri Lanka. We're going to Misquamicut. It's sorta like Sri Lanka, only with Toilets, and Underpants.
Did you go on a Safari? Were you scared? Did you ever have a naked Sri Lanken man sit on your bare chest while you were sleeping? That happens a lot over there. Especially when you're in a tent, and then you wake up with a Red, Itchy Rash.
Did that ever happen? Did it?
No matter. Shalom. It's nice to have you back. Everybody around here thinks you're the man, and we worry that you might succumb to the Siren Call of the Phoned In Loser Column version of "What I did on my Summer Vacation" every day, like what's his name.
Seriously.............. Is that your Wife?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.11.13 @ 8:24AM
I counted six repetitions of the word naked above. That ought to draw in all of the best trolls today.
TLP| 1.11.13 @ 9:16AM
Did I say Naked?
I meant Bare Ass.
Von Mises Jr| 1.11.13 @ 10:30AM
Talking about asses, where is Caliban today? I have no one to inflict "iches and pinches" (that is from the "Tempest" for those in Rio Linda).
Perhaps he is visiting Titan or with the Traveller from Tralfamadore ("Sirens of Titan")?
Did I win anything for that TLP?
TLP| 1.11.13 @ 10:59AM
You have won my Admiration.
That's how Broke I am.
Ronsch| 1.11.13 @ 1:18PM
Come on Tim, you meant "Bare Ass Naked."
TLP| 1.11.13 @ 1:24PM
Exactly.
By the way, Ross.........This isn't a Contest.
Those are Once a Month, these days.
We just like ya.
Think of this as one of those Funerals where the Dead Guy gets stood up in the Corner, and all of his friends get together and make fun of him.
Warrior| 1.11.13 @ 3:13PM
Dammit!! I was already to do scenes from Gilligan's Island. It was a toss-up as to which writer at TAS would be the skipper. The real problem I was having with the casting is that none of them come even close to being "professor" like.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.11.13 @ 3:32PM
I say Ben Stein and Wifey would be a good Thurston Howell III and Lovey.
R Martin| 1.11.13 @ 10:01AM
Even the trolling trolls would have to admit (well, probably admit; sometimes they are not honest with themselves) that TLP's comment is somewhat amusing and reasonably well written. He's probably back on his meds. Anyway, one wonders if Mr. Kaminsky (and his wife) were amused.
Kaminsky, tell us the truth. Were you over there doing commodity trading research?
TLP| 1.11.13 @ 11:00AM
Somewhat amusing?
Whatcha talkin bout Rickey?
R Martin| 1.11.13 @ 2:20PM
Sorry, I meant to say semi-amusing.
Occam's Tool| 1.11.13 @ 7:01PM
A minor point---having the antibiotics OTC helps build up bacterial resistance.
You DID not mention visiting Arthur C. Clarke's former house. Shame on you, Ross. :-)
TLP| 1.12.13 @ 5:50PM
May he Rest in Piece, in Space.
CJW| 1.11.13 @ 8:36AM
Has to be his wife and daughter, unless he hired some Americans to pose in the photo.
TLP| 1.11.13 @ 9:18AM
Really?
I figured it was his Daughter and his Son.
But then..........what do I know?
CJW| 1.11.13 @ 10:07AM
Are you going to post photos of your Misquamicut vacation?
Maybe we can all write about our favorite vacation spots like Sri Lanka, I like the old name Ceylon?
TLP| 1.11.13 @ 10:20AM
That is a great idea.
I hope I remember it.
A Slide Show Analogy Contest.
Stay in touch.
Von Mises Jr| 1.11.13 @ 9:33AM
I started to read this until I realized it is an amateur version of "War and Peace." I don't think old Ross even got to see his wife naked since he must have spent the whole vacation writing this clap-trap article.
Can you believe that someone would not take time to enjoy a vacation in order to write a novel in one’s own honor?
TLP| 1.11.13 @ 10:27AM
He did worse, time wasting things than that.
And, go easy on Ross.
I heard that he has a Rash on his chest that he got while sleeping, bare chested.
Give him a break.
AlanKneeJerkLiberalBrooks | 1.11.13 @ 1:38PM
Sticky sticky stumbo
nos e rumbo
e prom pennio
hara bara brisko
niki prom po
nish no minio
Dumbricko.
AlanKneeJerkLiberalBrooks | 1.11.13 @ 5:40PM
...BTW, does she like Kipling?
She's never Kipled!
AlanKneeJerkLiberalBrooks | 1.11.13 @ 5:43PM
"TLP's comment is somewhat amusing and reasonably well written."
Nothing wrong with his writing style: but he might end up like Frank Burns in MASH:
"why you bare-ass naked Hot Lips Hoolihan! as long as wifey don't catch on..."
Occam's Tool| 1.11.13 @ 7:09PM
I'm sure your wife is a lovely person, and I'm sorry you ran into a prime asshole, Ross.
Might I point out that Muslims tend to behave best when in a very distict minority?
TLP| 1.12.13 @ 10:36AM
What happened to Ross' Wife?
One of these Days I'm gonna have to actually start Reading these things.
Also............ I find that Muslims tend to behave best after they've been hit by a piece of 1,000lb. Ordinance, dropped from a Heavy Bomber.
Ross Kaminsky| 1.13.13 @ 5:09AM
The guy who behaved badly toward my wife was a Catholic...one of the few we met on the trip, but a measurable minority of the population
Stkman| 1.11.13 @ 8:51AM
Is that Brent Musberger peering from underneath the rock?
Where's today's composition exam being held?
TLP| 1.11.13 @ 9:19AM
Nothin today, Stkman.
Once a Month.
Pecos Pete| 1.11.13 @ 8:54AM
Ross: Very interesting. Thank you.
TLP| 1.11.13 @ 9:22AM
Could you have your nose any farther up his @ss?
Is that even humanly possible?
Dom. You seein this!
Pecos Pete| 1.11.13 @ 10:15AM
If you used Dom the Don, or Don Dom, then you might, but not necessarily, see a response.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.11.13 @ 12:42PM
Now that the appropriate honorific has been applied, I can respond (though you will have to check with R Martin as to whether I resemble Dom DeLuise instead of Kelsey Grammer).
I think the important question that Mr. Kaminsky should answer is not is that his wife and child (I presume they are), but who is that under the rock on the upper right?
TLP| 1.11.13 @ 1:28PM
Is it Waldo?
TLP| 1.12.13 @ 11:03AM
Under the rock.
Is it Waldo?
R Martin| 1.11.13 @ 3:50PM
Hummm...Are those choices collectively exhaustive or may we add Robert Redford to the list?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.12.13 @ 9:47AM
Not exhaustive, just a starting point. Pesco has noted previously that in his mind's eye, I resemble Dom DeLuise. In my mind's eye, I am still a 6', 185 lb warrior witha 32" waist and all of my hair. In real life, others have said Kelsey Grammer, but not Redford so much.
TLP| 1.12.13 @ 11:14AM
"In my mind's eye".
What about in your Bathroom Mirror? Who is your Bathroom Mirror telling you you look like, and is anyone that used to try Killing Abbott and Costello in one of those "Abbott and Costello meet (fill in the blank)?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.12.13 @ 11:27AM
The mirror shows an extra fifty pounds spread throughout my body, expanding that waist 6-8 inches, and the hair on top of my head looking a lot blonder than it used to appear (though the Crayola people used to call that color flesh).
Warrior| 1.11.13 @ 4:02PM
There is a wide disparity between Dom D. and Kelsey G. You need two figures that are closer in physical appearance like TLP and Bill the Cat.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_the_Cat
CJW| 1.11.13 @ 4:20PM
Has to be Kelesy G, the shrink, who in real life is a conservative.
TLP| 1.12.13 @ 10:54AM
Bill the Cat?
I guess it coulda been worse.
It coulda been Dom DeLuise.
My wife says that I look like Guy Ritchie (sans the used up olde Slut Whore Ex Wife) when he has his beard and his Eglish Cap on.
"Survey Says?"................................BING.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.12.13 @ 11:31AM
Wasn't he great with the Commodores? No, that was Lionel Ritchie.
I'm surprised your wife can say "Guy Ritchie", as mine would have a lot of trouble with it (it would likely sound like "guile itchy", and she wouldn't be able to handle Lionel's name at all).
Warrior| 1.12.13 @ 11:55AM
Bill the Cat was more for the whole picture which seems to provide analogy quality references to many of your contest quality posts. Sorry ACJ, I thought Guy Ritchie was Kid Rock. I pictured TLP rapping with a midget (RIP Joe C.) and a somewhat used up Pam Anderson on his side.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.12.13 @ 12:01PM
The description "somewhat used up Pam Anderson" is a literary gem.
CJW| 1.11.13 @ 4:19PM
Note they are feeding elephants, symbol of the GOP, and not the jackass donkey, symbol of the Dems.
TLP| 1.12.13 @ 5:57PM
Think about it: They're feeding the GOP Elephants, while an obvious Democrat Occupy Jackass is peering out from under a Rock.
Hardcard| 1.11.13 @ 9:26AM
Hmmmmmm ! On vaction in the Asian sub-contenent and writing articles for TAS sounds like the taxpayers are underwriting this famly junket. Whers's turbotax timmy when you ndeed him?
TLP| 1.11.13 @ 9:31AM
He's probably with Kaminsky.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.11.13 @ 9:34AM
There might not be a contest today, but as I look at this thread, the gang is all starting to show up like there is.
TLP| 1.11.13 @ 10:29AM
After that Ben Stein redux, can you blame us?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.11.13 @ 12:45PM
For all of Ross' assistance with your recent troubles, I figure we should clutter this thread this weekend to give him all of those extra hits on his article, to increase his rating at TAS (after all you've helped bring to Bowman and al-Tamimi, why not help out a pal?).
TLP| 1.11.13 @ 1:29PM
Agreed.
CJW| 1.11.13 @ 3:12PM
Did I mention that Kaminsky is the best writer here, or anywhere?
TLP| 1.11.13 @ 3:55PM
And he's so good looking.
What naked Sri Lanken Man WOULDN'T sit on his chest?
CJW| 1.11.13 @ 4:21PM
Ask him if it was a Ceylon man, he may be confused.
Occam's Tool| 1.11.13 @ 7:04PM
You know, Ross is a very good guy, who has given me a hat-tip before in his column, so I gotta love the guy, ya know....
So I'm happy to help out the Ross cause if he helped out the Tim cause. Besides, I generally actually do like his stuff...
TLP| 1.12.13 @ 11:20AM
And, bye - "Generally" - you mean - "Never".
You can be frank. We're all friends here.
Obviously you Hate him, and everything he's ever written. That's okay. Not everybody, likes everybody.
That doesn't make you a Bad Person.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.12.13 @ 11:34AM
Perhaps a contest some day on the things that would make you a bad person.
My first entry would be : "Voting for Obama-Biden".
TLP| 1.12.13 @ 5:59PM
Another one would be: Going to The Contest.
It's one of those: "I don't wanna belong to any Club that would have Me as a member" thingies.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.12.13 @ 6:31PM
Perhaps you look like Guy Ritchie if he was Groucho Marx.
Ross Kaminsky| 1.13.13 @ 5:11AM
that's a very strange comment, "Hardcard." What part of my travel or my writing do you think has anything to do with the government?
TLP| 1.13.13 @ 9:12AM
I'm sure he was only kidding. And, don't get my first remark, the wrong way.
When I said: "And, if that is your Wife? You might wanna STAY in Sri Lanka" it was because she looks so Young.
That's a good thing. Not an insult.
No shot. Dog bite. Not bang bang. Woof woof.
I would never make fun of your Family. I have all the Comedic material I will ever need, just with you, and these guys.
Welcome back, and take care of that Rash.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.13.13 @ 9:37AM
"that's a very strange comment, 'Hardcard."'
All of us should hit Control C and add the above response to our clipboards, as its usefulness in response to the stream of consciousness genius of our fellow poster will likely lead to its recycling.
On the other hand, I took the comment to mean that the trip was perhaps a business travel expense to be deducted from the Kaminsky federal tax liability (or as Kramer in Seinfeld would describe it, "a write-off").
TLP| 1.13.13 @ 12:53PM
Some people just can't spend the night at someone else' House, let alone, their Country.
Everytime my 12 Year Old kid sleeps over his Stupid Fat Friend's House, he comes back with an attitude. You know what I'm talkig about? He leaves the house, a Good Boy, and comes back acting like Purp's Favourite thing in the World.
I'm thinking that Ross is just Tired. Sri Lanka has gotta be one heckuva Plane ride, especially if the rumors are true, and he had a Naked Sri Lanken Man sitting on his Chest, while he slept. You know how a day at the Beach wears you out? Having a Naked Guy on your chest all night while you're sleeping's gotta be like two or three days at the Beach, at least. Alan? A little help?
I'm just glad he's back, and that he didn't lose any of his Pretentiousness back in the Land of feeding the Elephants on the Beach while Pedophiles leer at you from under a Rock.
Please see his Tropical Island Ratings List, a little further down the page.
It's like Ben Stein on Steroids.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.13.13 @ 2:12PM
At least Ross didn't call to have anyone's taxes raised.
Bob Grant| 1.11.13 @ 9:42AM
Great pic, great article. Very interesting.
David T| 1.11.13 @ 9:48AM
Interesting, Mr. K., but I simply can't get past the fact that you let your wife go by herself to the tea plantation with that creepy guy.
Stkman| 1.11.13 @ 9:59AM
I know Tim is a little off, but creepy?
OP4| 1.11.13 @ 10:07AM
I spent a semester of college in Sri Lanka long ago. It still may be the most wonderful place I've ever been. A real hidden gem - particularly for Americans.
You hit some of the great sites. Sigiriya really is an unforgettable place. Hiking trough the jungle, then up the endless steps of Sri Pada was wild - like being dropped into an Indiana Jones movie.
The people are great. The food, once your taste buds and stomach adjust, is incredible.
And yes TLP, while the women are all clothed in public, they are blindingly beautiful.
R Martin| 1.11.13 @ 10:26AM
Is OP4 really Ben Stein?
OP4| 1.11.13 @ 10:46AM
I wish I had some Ben Stein cash.
I have not been back to enjoy a Lion Lager since, because I could not afford the trip or the long vacation that flight would require.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.11.13 @ 12:50PM
Lion translated into German is Lowenbrau (with an umlaut), and into Thai it is Singha (no umlaut). Perhaps it is worth trying one of each of these beers often available in the US to see if it helps capture that nostalgic flavor (now that we're taking the beer discussion off of the Flynn thread and bringing it here).
TLP| 1.11.13 @ 1:31PM
My wife's Father's first name is Singha, as is my 12 Year Old's middle name.
Are you sure it doesn't mean: Cheater at Cards?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.11.13 @ 2:15PM
As Thai is a tonal language, and word meanings shift with a change of intonation, who is to say it can't be both?
loulou| 1.11.13 @ 3:02PM
Aren't there giant lizards all over the place and at night they drop off the ceiling onto you while you're sleeping? Not for the faint of heart.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.11.13 @ 3:33PM
At least the giant lizards eat most of the small lizards and rodents.
R Martin| 1.11.13 @ 4:21PM
No, loulou, you're thinking of the South American Gag Spiders. In Sri Lanka the giant lizards are too heavy to crawl on the ceiling. They just wait under your bed.
CJW| 1.11.13 @ 4:23PM
Maybe Kaminsky will spring to bring Tims's friends to Sri Lanka for a conservative party?
TLP| 1.12.13 @ 11:26AM
I don't think that's ever gonna happen.
He's more likely to supply the Giant Lizards for under our Beds, after we've paid our own way, there.
OP4| 1.13.13 @ 5:57PM
There are small lizards called gekos everywhere. They eat insects so people just leave them alone. After a while you stop noticing them on the walls when you walk into a room.
Job| 1.11.13 @ 5:14PM
Samson was before the kamakazees. welcome home and interesting article but just say no FW the next time your spidey senses are tingling like that!
Occam's Tool| 1.11.13 @ 7:07PM
And, Ross: seriously, you do great work.
My wife wants to try Hawaii before other places in the South Pacific. She got burnt out on the SP a couple of years ago, but is thinking about it again.
Ross Kaminsky| 1.13.13 @ 5:13AM
Depending on what you like to do, Fiji is decent, and for just beach it's hard to beat the Maldives. But they're both a nightmare to get to so I don't recommend if you only have a few days.
I'm also told at Mauritius is excellent. Personally I don't recommend the Seychelles.
As for Hawaii, we recently went to the Big Island and loved it. The lava is amazing. Sometimes you can get a great deal from one of the major timeshare companies out there if you agree to sit through a 90 minute presentation. It's probably worth it.
Ross Kaminsky| 1.13.13 @ 5:14AM
We asked my seven-year old daughter why she did not ask us about why all the women were dressed in burqas. She said she just thought they were ninjas.
TLP| 1.13.13 @ 9:23AM
I hope you said to her: No, sweetheart. They're not Ninjas. They're Human Chattle, with no Human or Civil Rights whatsoever, who can be Sold as Property, Beaten Unconscious on a whim, and Raped unmercifully by her Husband's Card Buddies, as a prelude to Divorce and a coupla hundred Rocks to the head, in the back yard.
But Ninjas was very very close, and I love you.
Now, don't ever go near one of those Sick B*st*rds.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.13.13 @ 9:48AM
What should be frightening to all of us is how the young 7 year old Miss Kaminsky has a worldview and grasp of military capability that resembles that held by a former President while in office. In the event anyone forgot this story from 2002, about the response following the 1998 Kenyan/Tanzanian embassy bombings:
Daniel Benjamin and Steven Simon, "Clinton-era National Security Council experts on terrorism," say that after Clinton's missile attacks on al-Qaeda in Afghanistan "achieved little" in August 1998, he dreamed up this little stunt, the Associated Press reported today:
The prez approached Gen. Hugh Shelton, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and said, "It would scare the [expletive] out of al-Qaeda if suddenly a bunch of black ninjas rappelled out of helicopters in to the middle of their camp. It would get us an enormous deterrence and show those guys we're not afraid."
Albert Constantine Jr.| 1.13.13 @ 9:50AM
By the time young Miss Kaminsky turns 8, she will likely have grown past the point of understanding the ability to project force overseas that will have exceeded the comprehension that a former POTUS had after nearly six years in office.
Joellen| 1.13.13 @ 8:08PM
I am sorry, but why are you asking your daughter this question? Do you really think at seven years old, she gets its? She is an innocent. Why dont you ask those who are of age and who should get it - someone who understands the absolute abuse these woman are subject to. This article is moot, because it doesnt go to the core and really attack what is going on around the world. Ross breifly touches it and then lets it go, because, truly, he doesnt know how to deal with it - Just like the rest of those who we deem "aware of the problem" and thus able to provide solutions.
No solutions, because they are afraid - afraid to deal with the problem.
I am just saying.
Ross Kaminsky| 1.14.13 @ 10:45AM
Joellen,
Wouldn't you think it was interesting if you took a child to a Muslim country and he or she made no comment at all about the burqas?
Also, the article is not "moot", at least not for the reason you suggest since I didn't write it primarily to discuss Islam.
I'm just saying...
hrgfue | 1.15.13 @ 7:40PM
2013 Happy New Year,NFL,NBA,fashion kickoff for u
Karlo Bones | 2.5.13 @ 5:33PM
The answer is very clear - yes, it can!