As alert observers know, one of the principal differences
between men and women is that women have PMS, while men have ESPN.
A much better deal. But Tuesday, ESPN had an acute attack of
PMS.
By the time Monday night when Brent Musburger crooned a bit
about the manifest beauty of quarterback A.J. McCarron’s
girlfriend, the only issue on the field was whether Bama’s point
after touchdown kicker would have to be treated after the game for
exhaustion. The Irish had about as much chance against the Crimson
Tide Monday as an armadillo has against a steel-belted radial. Had
it been a fight, the ref would have awarded Bama a TKO in the
second.
Musburger’s innocuous aside about beauty in the stands was a
brief and welcome break from carnage on the field. And what he said
during a wildly non-competitive game about the comely Katherine
Webb was decorous, though banal, and without a hint of the leer.
Read and judge for yourself: After calling attention to the
obvious, that Webb is a beauty, Musburger added: “You quarterbacks,
you get all the good-looking women. What a beautiful woman.” “Wow,”
analyst Kirk Herbstreit analyzed.” “Whoa!” back to Musburger. “If
you’re a youngster in Alabama, start getting the football out and
throw it around the backyard with Pop.” (Video
here.)
Sound advice. (Though you really don’t have to urge strenuously
to get Alabama boys to want to grow up to be quarterbacks. It’s in
the blood.) So it was at least a bit of a surprise, even in these
politically correct times, when a minor fertilizer storm followed
Musburger’s innocent and heart-felt remarks. Offense-tropic twits
tweeted their scandalized little hearts out. Musburger was called a
dirty old man and his remarks termed “creepy” and worse by
thousands of passive-aggressive indignatos with time on their hands
and progressive passion in what passes for their hearts. Houston
Mitchell, a sportswriter for the ever with-it L.A. Times
declared, “Most of America got a little grossed out.”
Well no, Houston, America was not grossed out. At least not the
portion of America where good sense and traces of testosterone have
yet to be stamped out. Bi-coastal and university faculty lounge
progressives may have their knickers in a knot about Musburger’s
straightforward appreciation of La Webb. But normal American men
and women see nothing remarkable in what Brent said. In fact, most
would have considered it an oversight not to remark on the most
pleasing looks of young Webb, and the amazing good luck of the
talented McCarron.
But, sadly, it’s not normal America ESPN caters to in its
pronouncements, but to the freak-bubble of the cultural left. So in
reaction to this little snit, ESPN’s Vice President for Craven and
Nonsensical Apologies issued this vague and timorous
statement:
“We always try to capture interesting storylines, and the
relationship between an Auburn grad who is Miss Alabama and the
current Alabama quarterback certainly met that test,” ESPN
spokesman Mike Soltys tweeted. “However, we apologize that the
commentary in this instance went too far and Brent understands
that.”
No. No. No. I’m certain that the 73-year-old Brent does not
understand this. Nor do I. Nor does Miss Webb, who said Tuesday
that she wasn’t offended by praise from the press box. “For a woman
to be called beautiful, I don’t see how that’s an issue,” she said,
demonstrating a firm grasp of the obvious that eludes the more
progressive.
“Too far” for whom is the question. Just who is ESPN trying to
sooth with its uncalled for apology? Is the network trying to
increase viewership among the NOW power-lifting club, the
appearance of many of whose members is enough to make a
freight-train back up and take a dirt road? Are they trying to
entice those with black-belts in women’s studies to become Monday
Night Football regulars? These are the circles of geek-branch
feminism, where any male attention to female pulchritude is
considered sexist, evil, and actionable. ESPN’s gutless apology
will cut no ice with the far greater number of the well-grounded
who know that male appreciation of female beauty is not an offense,
but is in fact an absolute requirement for the continuation of the
species.
So, what’s next at ESPN? Will the network start blacking out the
cheerleaders? Will the network start hiring sideline babes who look
like Musburger? No. Networks will continue to show the cheerleaders
and will continue to hire great-looking young women to ask
pointless questions of inarticulate athletes after the game is
over. This latest episode of network nervousness is just another
example of the politically correct hypocrisy that disfigures our
age. My succinct message to the castrati who cower in the ESPN
executive suites is, “Get over it, girls.”
The biggest shame of the Musburger/Webb/ESPN kerfuffle is that
it has taken attention away from the far larger story, which is
that President Obama Wednesday, by executive order, took points way
from Alabama and declared the championship game a draw. “Alabama
didn’t win that game themselves, and they got more than their fair
share of points,” Obama said in explaining his unprecedented action
in the name of spreading the wealth around. Now THAT’s
progressive.
While White House officials clearly believe Alabama got many
more points than it needed Monday, they declined to comment on
whether La Webb is too beautiful.
