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Another Perspective

We Are All Mayans

Even Joe Biden, who would head the commission about how we got it all wrong.

The apocalyptic vision of the ancient Mayans, the destruction of the world, did not come to pass on December 21. Indeed, the cosmology of those ancient people, who inhabited Mexico and Central America from roughly 2000 BC, has given countless wackos a raison d’être, a platform for the ultimate “gotcha” theory. As the world awoke to sameness that day, there was doubtless relief that the grim tocsin of the Mayans was just an eschatological goof.

But before being too critical of the Mayans, known for their temples, metallurgy, and ancient writing, we should remember that other civilizations have similar concepts of reckoning. For the West it is the Second Coming of the Messiah who shall come to judge. For the Hindus it is the tenth incarnation of Lord Vishnu, known as the Kalki, who visits the Earth at the end of the current age, known as the Kali Yuga, with an agenda of ridding the world of defilement. There is nothing new about vindictive eschatology, the branch of philosophy dealing with all that is final.

One could imagine what might happen if the United States were to make such a prediction of global doom that did not come to pass. Would the world hold us accountable and short our equity and debt securities and currency? Would American financial assets, commercial aircraft, ships, and real estate be attached by foreign court orders — and would American nationals abroad be harassed, arrested, and greeted with shrieks of execration? Would angry foreign mobs seize tall macadamia lattes with extra foam at Starbucks everywhere? Not even an iPod would be safe. The doyens and doyennes of media would be handed the gift of gifts, engaging in chic America-bashing in perpetuity. A saturnine Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid might commence self-flagellation before us all. A resolute House Speaker John Boehner could stare down the world, like John Wayne facing off against angry desperados. These are of course imponderable contingencies and eventually we must move on and constructively ask, “So where do we go from here?”

Obviously the initial step would be to demand an apology from the descendants of the Mayan civilization. The Mayans of today are mainly a rural people engaged in animal husbandry and in agriculture, raising legumes and corn. Finding them without a GPS should not be difficult, although the question of accountability for the misguided predictions of their ancestors may seem unfair and unduly punitive. As an emissary, Vice President Joe Biden with his standard grimaces could be enough to elicit apologies from all over Mexico and Central America, but he would also need to spend some time at Berlitz learning key Spanish vocabulary and idioms to show the cross-cultural sensitivity of a partner to the north.

But even as we contemplate extracting an apology from an ancient civilization, it becomes obvious that we must first hold ourselves accountable — to occupy the moral high ground. This is the hard part, however a review board chaired by the vice president could be charged with finding out what bucks have stopped where, where they should have stopped, and what the stoppage actually accomplished — and what the opportunity cost of non-buck stoppages is to our society if too many people are engaged in passing bucks. The review board would address whether the expression, “I am accountable,” actually has any meaning in public life. This would not be an easy mission for the vice president, although it would show the world that we stand for accountability and best practices in buck passing.

Ultimately the United States, a superpower, would need to facilitate global reconciliation. Europe is too preoccupied with maintaining the euro order of things, and Russia’s Vladimir Putin is not known for soothing words and deeds. China, which is both industrial behemoth and developing country, depending on its objectives, does not yet project enough trust in the West.

A Rose Garden meeting of the world’s cosmological thinkers, where Dos Equis and Coronas could be served, might be the needed catharsis. Experts who study final events everywhere would converge on Washington — jubilant in their hour of glory. President Obama, statesmanlike, nuanced, and sveltely kitted out in Hartmarx would say reassuringly to grateful eschatologists, “We are all Mayans.”

About the Author

Frank Schell is a business consultant and former international banking executive. He serves on the Dean’s International Council of the Harris School of Public Policy Studies, University of Chicago, where he is a lecturer, and on the editorial board of the Chicago-based National Strategy Forum, which focuses on national security issues.

Letter to the Editor View all comments (24) |

Joellen| 12.28.12 @ 7:43AM

The world didnt come to an end on Dec 21, 2012, however America has been on life support since 1973. Since Roe vs Wade came into fruition, we have rapidly declined morally and intellectually; and, since we lost our morals and intellect (common sense), it is obvious economically we must forfeit. No discipline, no self sacrifice, no self control.

Actually, I correct myself, the detrioration occured when we took prayer out of our schools.
We took GOD out and replaced him with relativity, which is just satan, doing so well, because we refuse to call evil, well evil.
In fact the people mock the good doctor (FATHER/SON/HOLY SPIRIT)who has diagnosed the problems and chased them away.

So, unless we deal with the illness (relativity), we succumb to it and die a slow, terrible death. Not the big bang the Mayanss predicted.

Sorry my friends, if I seem to be a downer on this one; I am just saying.

Occam's Tool| 12.29.12 @ 7:53PM

Joellen, we are all doomed eventually; it is the nobility of the fight we put up while we have this time which is our true measure. You do pretty darn fine. Happy New Year, madam.

Honestly, I have no problem with prayer in the schools; the Religion Amendment was clearly meant to prevent the Establishment of a State Church or Faith (see Geo. Washington's letter to the Synagogue), not to eliminate religion from the public sphere.

I am always, always wary of any law written where the possible enforcement is vague enough to require "common sense;" with the exceptions of my unusually skilled attorney friends on this website (Big E, Anthony, RCV, Mr. Eaton, etc.), the vast majority of attorneys I have run into in my professional life have been "Danger, Will Robinson" dummies, or psychopaths, or both (like Joe Biden)).

Let children pray. It's a good thing. Where there is no G-d, there are insufficient children.

Joellen| 12.30.12 @ 1:20PM

Happy New Year to you good Sir; to you and all your love ones.

And you are what's right with our country - you are tolerant of my rights, and vice a versa - what you and I know what really is going on is those on the left "talk" tolerance but we all know they actually abhor tolerance. That's ok - I am with you - as St. Paul said (not verbatum) its not up to us to win the battle - it's up to us to fight it. And who am I to argue with St. Paul!

BTW - what's going on at Ben Steins' site - all our comments are gone.

Joellen| 12.30.12 @ 1:21PM

BBT NOW!

Occam's Tool| 12.30.12 @ 8:53PM

Well, I just put one up:

"Weird, because I had so many lovely things to say about Ben's total hypocrisy over Corporate responsibilty and legal liability and his crying over his friend who conned people out of $8 Million by fraudulently entering into contracts with them. One plane repair/refurbishing can be an accident, $8 million dollars is a lot.

By the way, Vikings beat the Packers tonight, Jack. Prepare for next week and six of the best, Spanky!"

To the editors: you can't hide truth, boys. "The gnurrs come from de voodwork out!" You can censor us and ban us, but truth is truth.

By the way, we are 24 hours from the Cliff. We may go over. Then my nurses would get what they voted for.

Occam's Tool| 12.30.12 @ 8:55PM

And Joellen: have a GREAT New Year!

Time to go off to work and save some lives.

c. j. acworth| 12.28.12 @ 8:23AM

The decendants of the Mayans owe us an aplogy? When are they going to get an apology from us for however many of them have been killed with guns that were "walked" across the border by Holder & Co.?

Stan Redmond| 12.28.12 @ 1:34PM

Bush's fault.

Skippy| 12.28.12 @ 2:12PM

As is everything in Obamaworld.

C. Vernon Crisler | 12.28.12 @ 8:49AM

The writer is apparently ignorant of Christian teaching, and makes an invidious comparison of Christian eschatology with Mayan.

Of course, Jesus made it plain as day that no one knew the day of his second coming. He also warned not to listen to people who set dates for the end of the world.

Pecos Pete| 12.28.12 @ 9:25AM

According to environmental wackos, the world is coming to an end soon because of man made global warming. You know? The ice is melting, seas are rising, New York will be under water ... soon.

The New Mayans.

William L. Gensert| 12.28.12 @ 10:35AM

I don't know about anyone else, but I'll never trust a Mayan again.

Occam's Tool| 12.28.12 @ 12:38PM

William: both my kids are Mayans, adopted from Guatemala. My son has been announcing his capitalistic world view since age 3. You can trust the boy. And since my daughter will be ruling the world one day (as a Conservative Capitalist), I just thought you would want to know you can trust her, too. :-)

William L. Gensert| 12.29.12 @ 11:33AM

Humbly, I stand corrected. My ex-wife was adopted and I have a half Korean son.

Should I ever come across a Mr. or a Ms. Occam running for office, they have my support.

Occam's Tool| 12.29.12 @ 7:45PM

My friend, I let you know when she runs. On second thought, she's such a superstar (as is he), believe me, you will know.

You do beautiful work sir, and are a noble soul. G-d Bless and Keep you in this new year. (Last night my son and I had an interesting discussion on Obama; in his 9 year old wisdom, he stood aghast at the American voter. I love that boy.)

KyMouse| 12.28.12 @ 10:38AM

If Mr. Schell's use of the phrase "vindictive eschatology" includes Biblical prophecy, such as is found in the books of Ezekiel, Daniel and Revelation, I strongly disagree with his choice of adjective.

"Vindictive" implies revenge taken spitefully. When God's wrath is poured out, whenever that time comes, it will be done justly, righteously.

Can any of us judge God? As Paul asked in Romans 3:5-6, "Is God unrighteous who takes vengeance?...God forbid..."

The sad truth is, "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23).

But the good news is that "God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16).

A warning, but also a promise. Justice, but also mercy to those who will accept it on His terms -- not spiteful revenge.

dominic1955| 12.28.12 @ 10:42AM

When Biden learns Spanish to show "cultural sensitivity" hopefully someone will tell that dope and his dumbass staffers that the descendants of the Mayans still largely speak their indigenous Mayan languages-not Spanish. Oops...cultural sensitivity indeed!

C. Vernon Crisler-Its a spoof. He didn't say they were the same thing. Do both groups have some sort of apocalyptic eschatology? Yep. That's all he made the comparison with.

Von Mises Jr| 12.28.12 @ 12:12PM

Before Plugs "Bite Me" learns Spanish, he should master the English language.

If the Mayans were anything like the Aztecs, one would wonder why anyone would take them seriously. Cortes marched into what is now Mexico City in 1519 and the natives welcomed them as gods since they had horses, swords, canon and guns. The Apache were not so enamored, as they used decentralized raids on intruders to send them back south.
The lesson from the "Starfish and the Spider" is that a decentralized organization cannot be toppled by simply cutting off the head of the spider. The starfish cut in two produces two spiders.
This is why liberals fear the TEA Party. When the British called out the militia to quell the colonist, the militia was mostly members of the Sons of Liberty. It didn’t work out so well since they were the same that had stored arms and ammunition waiting at Concord and Lexington.

Petronius| 12.28.12 @ 11:49AM

The late Senator Stuart Symington asked the most eminent physicist, Dr. J. Robert Oppenheimer this question in the mid 50's.
Sen: " What weapons will be used in the next war?"
Dr. O: "Senator, I can't answer that. But I can tell you what we will fight with in the war after that: stones and clubs."
And it will come as a result of pursuit of the vision of the elite attempting to "perfect" all who are below them through the command of state and institutional power and authority.
Henry VI supposedly said, "First thing, let's kill all the lawyers. " Sorry, that's #2. First we must nail the intellectual snots who employ them. Man will fall again, but not on God's account. This one is on B.F. Skinner and the Determinists. I'm with P. J. O'Rourke. "Bill, keep your hands to yourself. Hilary, mind your own business." That will happen when my friends in Hell get cold beer.
We'd have been better off if the Maya were right.

Rhoetus| 12.28.12 @ 5:16PM

"We are all Keynesians now." --Richard M. Nixon

sdfhlk | 12.28.12 @ 8:52PM

Merry Christmas,NBA ,NFL 2012

topcat52| 12.28.12 @ 9:09PM

Do you get paid to write this claptrap?

aware| 12.30.12 @ 9:40AM

The Mayans didn't predict the end of the world, just the end of a calendar cycle. The "West" isn't looking for the Second Coming, Christians are. Also Christians don't scoff at prophecy, but you do.
When a lecturer gets the bit between his teeth the facts be damned.

Keratina | 1.1.13 @ 6:13PM

This maya thing was totally missunderstood... in Ecuador for example, the people stored food and water in theri houses, waiting for the end of the world...

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