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More Pants Than Fire

PolitiFact’s Lies of the Year fall short in any mental fact check.

The latest craze in political reporting is fact-checking and truth-testing. Articles are written by major news outlets or by organizations dedicated ostensibly to truth in politics. The most prominent among these is PolitiFact, which was anointed into sacrosanct status by being granted the Pulitzer Prize. Now, at year’s end, PolitiFact has announced its list of ten finalists for Lie of the Year.

These include four statements by Mitt Romney, one by Rush Limbaugh, three by Barack Obama, one from the Democratic National Convention, and one from a pro-Obama SuperPAC. In terms of fairness and evenhandedness, that lineup seems unassailable with five Republican remarks and five Democrat. The problem is that some of the judgments being applied here are dead wrong, others verging on silly. What they all have in common is an appalling lack of understanding of the true character of political debate.

Let me run through the quotes they have identified, the reasons they give for their rating, and my commentary on their analysis”:

“Over the last four years, the deficit has gone up, but 90 percent of that is as a consequence of President George W. Bush’s policies and the recession.” — Barack Obama on 60 Minutes, Sept. 23, 2012

PolitiFact rating: FALSE. Reason: Many of the policies CBO attributes to the rise in the deficit are Bush policies that Obama supports, such as the middle-class tax cut and the Medicare prescription drug benefit. (They mention that the Washington Post gave this Four Pinocchios, its highest rating for whoppers.)

I don’t find this to be a false statement. All he is saying is that the deficit was not run up by a set of new policies he put into motion when he entered office, that what was in place already caused the lion’s share of the deficit. I think that is a fair point and the language he used was not tricky or misleading. Now it is true that he has not lost any sleep over the deficit or shown any interest in taming it, but other than the spending in the big stimulus bill, this is not a deficit created by new Obama policies.

*****

“Barack Obama began his presidency with an apology tour.” — Mitt Romney at the Republican National Convention, August 30, 2012.

PolitiFact Rating: PANTS ON FIRE! Reason: Although Obama said in France the U.S. “has shown arrogance and been dismissive, even derisive,” he modified that by saying Europe has been guilty of a “casual” and “insidious” anti-Americanism. In the United Nations he said “America has acted unilaterally, without regard for the interests of others.” But he modulated that by adding this “has fed an almost reflexive anti-Americanism, which too often served as an excuse for collective inaction. In Egypt, he acknowledge that the United States had interfered in Iran in the 1950s, but he countered with criticism of Iran’s current behavior.

I hear them panting but I don’t see the fire. This is not even false; it is simply an opinion. Romney believes that an American President should not travel around the world talking about mistakes made by previous administrations. And if that is not technically an apology, it might well be something worse, a condemnation of your own nation while visiting other nations.

One can offer a defense of Obama and argue that it is diplomatic to show some deference abroad, even to acknowledge some shortcomings in the process. But it is certainly fair for an opponent to call this an apology tour. It is not even hyperbole, much less falsehood.

(Notice also that nobody makes the point I made in my column at the time, that it is not even proven by any legitimate evidence that we interfered in Iran. It is merely an old college professor accusation, hotly denied by the people in Iran who were actually in charge.)

*****

“Mitt Romney called the Arizona immigration law a model for the nation.” — Barack Obama, Second Presidential Debate, Oct. 16, 2012

PolitiFact rating: FALSE. Reason: The law Romney called a model for the nation was a 2007 law called the Legal Arizona Workers Act which demanded employers use E-Verify to check a new employee’s legal work status. The more controversial Arizona law Obama is referring to is a 2010 immigration enforcement law allowing state police to check the immigration status of someone who is a suspect in another crime.

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About the Author

Jay D. Homnick, commentator and humorist, is a frequent contributor to The American Spectator. He also writes for Human EventsHere he speaks at the Rally for Religious Freedom in Miami on June 8, 2012.

Letter to the Editor View all comments (180) |

Pecos Pete| 12.11.12 @ 8:39AM

Politicians lie. What else is new?

Hardcard| 12.11.12 @ 9:27AM

Tomorrow's date is 12-12-12. What does this mean for our economic troubles ? Is timmy geitner aware of what might happen? Is eric holder, jan napolitano, and the clapper investigating and safeguarding our treasure? Is it another Y2K , swine flu epedemic? Sounds like global supper heating to PBS and alsharptongue.

Drunken Sailor| 12.11.12 @ 10:24AM

Navel gazing again?

Dai Alanye | 12.11.12 @ 10:54AM

I care neither for many of PolitiFact's justifications nor for most of Homnick's anti-justifications. In particular, placing the blame on Dubya for the combined economic policies of Obama, Geithner and Bernanke (not to mention those of Pelosi and Reid) is so misleading as to be false beyond belief. Remember, the decline didn't start until after the Dems took over Congress in 2007.

Homnick and Politifact: A pox on both their houses!

spike59| 12.12.12 @ 5:52AM

'Homnick and PolitiHack:'

fixed it for ya

Kingofthenet| 12.11.12 @ 12:44PM

Wow, I agree with the author, this is basic Sales 101. Sure there is a lot of hyperbole going on, but is it real unfair to say of mittens, he likes to Fire people and has done so extensively. That he likes to fire people is his own words, and his record from Bain shows a lot of lost jobs(For my purposes I don't need to mention ANY jobs gained)

spike59| 12.12.12 @ 5:50AM

here's what he REALLY said, Queenofthenuts:

“I like being able to fire people who provide services to me. You know, if someone doesn’t give me the good service I need, I want to say, you know, I’m going to go get someone else to provide that service to me”

but we wouldn't want reality to intrude on your juvenile Progtard talking point spewing, would we?

dumba$$

spike59| 12.12.12 @ 5:53AM

"(For my purposes I don't need to mention ANY jobs gained)"
------------------------------------
understood-as a proud Progtard, you really DON'T want any 'inconvenient truths' standing in the way of your Kos-supplied talking points

TeaPartyNow| 12.11.12 @ 12:54PM

Americas' culture is more shallow today than it has ever been. We subsist on propaganda from all sides. We elect people because of a thirty second commercial, or one sentence. & we reject people because of one sentence, not even caring who they are, or what they have done.

America just keeps sinking into her shallow minded cesspool of medias. Where is an American to turn if they want truth? No one offers it.

Mark Levin is getting better though. Now that his liberal Romney/Ryan lost, he is changing his tune back to one where conservatism matters.

Truth in America is sixteen billion miles away from home.

sdfhlk | 12.12.12 @ 3:33AM

Merry Christmas

spike59| 12.12.12 @ 5:47AM

Jay, don't quit your day job

Toinfinityandbeyond| 12.12.12 @ 10:48PM

Get rid of Bo(eh)ner!

Get rid of Mitch the B!t(h.

Get rid of Lying Ryan.

Get rid of Mitt-ard Romney.
Oh! wait! He is already gone. :)

Get rid of Christie.

Get rid of DeMint.
Oh! wait! He is already gone for more money. :)

Get rid of FAUX.

Get rid of BRAINFART.

Get rid of Tea Beggers.

Get rid of Fatzo Rush.

Get rid of GOP.

Done!

Finally! Peace on Earth!

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.13.12 @ 10:13AM

Once again, a member of the Left embraces the North Korean model of government. Given the name that you post under, I expect that you should be attempting to prime your own missile launch from under the covers any minute now.

TLP| 12.13.12 @ 1:45PM

Once again, we find ourselves at another Friday, and another opportunity to Showcase the Wit and Wisdom of what one might hear from a Contestant of the old Gong Show, after he or she, had just been Gonged after about 10 Seconds into their Performance.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Everybody knows the rules: I take a Story from this Week's Headlines, and come up with an Analogy that I think fits the Essence of that particular Nightmarish Story.

It can be a Movie, a Haiku, a Real Poem, a Show Tune from one of the Men (?) in our Group, a Play, a Joke, something that makes Regular People's skin crawl, a Song Parady of a Song that NOBODY knows the Tune to, or something from Hardcard.

The Winner will recieve a Free Tour of all of the Gay Bathhouses in Chicago that Obama is KNOWN to have frequented during his Heydays In Chicago.

The Loser will recieve the Mop that they use each night, to clean up the Ick off the Floors at Closing Time.

Let's Play.

mike 3/505| 12.14.12 @ 2:47PM

I refuse to play, unless the grand prize is a life sized pinup of Audrey Meadows...who I've had the hots for since I was a wee bairn.

Regards,

Mike

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 3:02PM

All I have is a picture of Audrey in her Coffin.

I hope that will suffice.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 3:22PM

How about a cameo with Art Carney's face featured?

TLP| 12.13.12 @ 2:19PM

North Korea is back in the News. The new Dear Leader - Premier Pugsley - has just sent a Rocket into Space, that has just answered the age old question: What would happen if a Communist Country, who's people's Nutritional Food Pyramid consists of Grass and Tree Bark, sent a Rocket up into Space?

As we sit here contemplating the best way to avoid getting that Wet Mop in the Mail? Pugsley's Satellite is careening through the Atmosphere like Chris Christie at an All You Can Eat Buffet.

My Analogy is from the Television Show: The Honeymooners. (Did I mention that you can use a Television Show?) When I see what the Pride of Pugsley's North Korean Space Program is accomplishing? I see Ralph Cramden's "Man From Space" Costume, for the Holloween Costume Contest he was in. The Kitchen Sink Spigot, a buncha Knobs from his Stove, and the Oven Door on his chest. And I absolutely see the Future of this Country if President never had a job in his life, gets to Finish what he Started.

This is a tough one. But since you're all locked in your Rooms, all weekend, waiting for Meals on Wheels to show up, I know you can come up with something.

It's not so much the North Korean Rocket, as it is what a Totally Clueless Government, filled to the Brim with Incompetence and People who have never Contributed ANYTHING to the Betterment of Mankind, can accomplish.

Do your Best, and know that I believe in you, and your God Given Ability to put all of this to a Song from The Sound of Music.

TLP| 12.13.12 @ 2:39PM

By the way: The Contest runs until Saturday 7pm.

TLP| 12.13.12 @ 6:31PM

I'm looking for an Analogy of someone trying to do something that is WAY OUT OF THEIR LEAGUE.

Or an instances when somebody did something that went Horribly Wrong.

The Battle of Midway, when the electronic Arming Systems made the bombs drop off.

You have to THINK on this one.

We just can't do The Fiscal Cliff, every week.

I know this is a difficult one.

But I also know that you can do this.

Of course, I could be wrong.

TLP| 12.13.12 @ 6:32PM

Use Albert's Entry as an example.

Oldefarte| 12.14.12 @ 11:41AM

This will no doubt be a terrible entry and not applicable, but my movie/TV vocabulary is restrained and limited due to years of working 24/7 during my Y-U-T-H, okay. Combining NK, Benghazi, the declining economy, 11/6/12 and 11/4/08, the DOJ, the DOS, etc; the only personal thoughts of some are of the movie THELMA & LOUISE, where the former was sexually raped, both took revenge, the law proceeded to hunt them down and they both took the only course of action that they reasoned was left for them to take in the end. The world is crashing down around us due to Americans and the world's acting "stupidly" toward their own best interests and those of the society at large, and the corrupted law is hot on our heels from breaking the rules of political correctness, racisms, homophobisms, environmentalisms, dictatorships, socialisms etc. There may be one and only one course of action left for sane society to take, and that is to clasp our combined hands together inside a T-Bird, stomp on the accelerator, and hope to find peace and tranquility in another arena somewhere!!!!!!!!!

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 12:56PM

Myself, I would prefer that Obama, having wrought the revenge that he advocated be voted for with his supporters, would himself make the T-Bird fly, along with assorted members of his administration (and Biden as a hood ornament). I think there might be difficulty (at least here) finding someone to play the Harvey Keitel role, though, who would try to talk him out of it.

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 1:48PM

Purp.

That wasn't hard at all.

TLP| 12.15.12 @ 8:07AM

That's what she said.

Oldefarte| 12.14.12 @ 4:04PM

Nah Albert, Valerie Garrett or David Axelrod would make a terrific Harvey Keitel no doubt!!!!

Joellen| 12.14.12 @ 11:57PM

Has to be Tim Geitner, driving us off the cliff!

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 1:47PM

And you thought your Entry would be terrible.

You hit it outta the Park, ya Oldefarte.

Well done.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.13.12 @ 3:32PM

I will make my first entry not from the classic situation comedy about relationships (“The Honeymooners”), but its cartoon prehistoric counterpart (“The Flintstones”).

Fred is tasked with planning the stag party of the Water Buffalo Lodge, as well as with getting a clown for Pebbles’ birthday party. He goes to a caterer and contracts him to supply the entertainment and logistics for each gig.

The caterer promptly mixes up both orders, resulting in the clown being sent to the Lodge party, and the toddler’s birthday party is entertained by the scantily –clad chorus girl jumping out of the cake. When confronted with his mistakes, the response of the caterer is:

“Who cares? I’m the only caterer in town.”

I hereby recommend that among the titles one consider for the current POTUS, that we consider Barack Obama as Caterer-in-Chief in honor of this episode.

TLP| 12.13.12 @ 4:09PM

Do you ever watch The Simpsons?

Homer makes a Makeup Shotgun, so that women can point the Shotgun at their face, pull the trigger, and get their Makeup applied.

It's Hilarious.

TLP| 12.13.12 @ 4:10PM

And, God Bless You for showing up.

As in anything else.

The FIRST ONE is the hardest one to get.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.13.12 @ 4:43PM

Homer Simpson, Fred Flintstone and Ralph Kramden; I think they can beat the hell out of any trio of Musketeers that the French can muster (though if Dumas were to put Purp in an Iron Mask, I might change my opinion to a draw).

Al Adab| 12.13.12 @ 5:36PM

Purp in the iron mask has potential.

If we are doing Dumas, maybe we could come up with something like Les Miserables for at least that describes the suffering people of N. Korea.

CJW| 12.13.12 @ 5:54PM

I just dropped a few IQ points reading purpie and responding, therefore I need some affirmative action help. What exactly are we trying to say or analogize?

TLP| 12.13.12 @ 6:13PM

The idiotic, nonsensical Rocket Launch from another Quintessential GOVERNMENT KNOWS BEST Country.

Figure it out,,or you can just repeat something Purp said, last week.

Ya never know.

You might just Win

CJW| 12.13.12 @ 6:30PM

Who is purp? What did he say?

TLP| 12.13.12 @ 6:34PM

Now you're gettin it.

Funny stuff.

TLP| 12.13.12 @ 6:05PM

It's nice to have you back, Al.

I mean that.

CJW| 12.13.12 @ 6:38PM

Yes, good to have Al Adab here.

Al Adab| 12.14.12 @ 11:46AM

Thank you both but I didn't realize I had left. Groundhog Day?

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 1:51PM

Oh, you left, Happy Jack.

You left, big time.

But, Albert forgives you.

CJW| 12.14.12 @ 4:59PM

Amnesty for all.

R Martin| 12.13.12 @ 5:36PM

Wait just a minute here. You're coddling him for showing up early? I thought that was banned. Come to think of it, you showed up early too. I'm starting to wonder whether or not this contest is fixed. Just like Appleby says, a good man is hard to find. (and don't do a Malaprop on that).

CJW| 12.13.12 @ 6:04PM

Richard
I saw in another thread you like Bastiat. I have been meaning to read him, what do you recomment?

TLP| 12.13.12 @ 6:14PM

HEY!

That is not what we do here.

We do FUN?

TLP| 12.13.12 @ 6:14PM

We do Fun!

Damn it!

Pecos Pete| 12.13.12 @ 8:07PM

Bastiat is fun! "The solution to the problems of human relationships is to be found in liberty."

What's more fun than liberty?

Says I, after 3 divorces, and then was found LIBERTY!

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 12:36AM

I know a now retired colleague who used to advise others with long term marital troubles "If you killed her when she first started this, you would have been out by now".

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 6:45AM

I'm assuming that "Liberty" is a Dirty Book Store in Roswell.

Pecos Pete| 12.14.12 @ 9:11AM

Brought down by Aliens from DC.

Al Adab| 12.14.12 @ 2:22PM

Battlefield Earth, the book not the bad movie. Johnny leads the people against the aliens.
People revolt and learn that everything is controlled by the bankers.

mike 3/505| 12.14.12 @ 2:58PM

What Miss Appleby said was "A hard man is good to find."

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 3:06PM

I thought she said: The perfect Cucumber was hard to find.

Or, was it that Potato from Idaho?

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 3:06PM

You just couldn't resist, huh?

mike 3/505| 12.14.12 @ 6:04PM

If you have a bag of potatoes, how do you tell which one is the prostitute?

It's the one that says, "I DA HO"

CJW| 12.14.12 @ 6:58PM

Do you know why divorces are expensive?

Pecos Pete| 12.14.12 @ 8:34PM

Because my wives got it all?

mike 3/505| 12.14.12 @ 8:37PM

They are WORTH IT.

CJW| 12.14.12 @ 10:58PM

Colonel mike has the correct answser.
Why do husbands die before wives?

mike 3/505| 12.15.12 @ 9:44AM

They want to.

TLP| 12.13.12 @ 6:09PM

And, of course you know that, The Flinstones were taken, directly from the Honeymooners.

Nice touch, Albert.

"No mop for you!" (Soup Nazi)

TLP| 12.13.12 @ 6:15PM

Too many commas?

TLP| 12.13.12 @ 6:35PM

I've got a bad feeling about this one. (Star Wars)

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.13.12 @ 6:51PM

I think the amount is correct, though I would have used one after course instead of taken [but then, I have a fetish for some, but not all aspects of grammar and punctuation (particularly parentheses)].

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 1:52PM

Show off.

CJW| 12.13.12 @ 6:38PM

An early entry, under pressure from TLP.

I can't remember the name of the movie. The government passed a law to outlaw alcohol. They called it Prohibition. The government knows best.

The result was that gangsters got rich selling alcohol, and politicians got rich from bribes, and one bootlegger-politician named Joe K got so rich he bought a presidency for one son and senatorships for two others, and other offices for grandchildren. All from selling alcohol prohibited by the government.
The unintended consequences from a government that knows best.

Of course no real life government would ever do this. Just fiction.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.13.12 @ 6:46PM

Current events are stranger than fiction.

Google Bastiat Society. On the website, they list reading by and about him.

Unfortunately, I will be unable to unattend the meeting, as I will be leaving in a few minutes for a Christmas/ Festivus celebration a few miles away, where I am much more likely to run into a Biden that RM.

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 1:53PM

Hopefully, you'll survive The Feats of Strength.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 2:38PM

I really enjoy the Airing of the Grievances.

Warrior| 12.13.12 @ 8:28PM

An early entry. I have no idea what this weeks topic is, guess I haven't known it from any week. This is from a movie script that I want to write. This is RCV (purp or vtwin for all that matters) on a job interview with TLP the employer (lines taken from Full Metal Jacket):

TLP: Do you feel dizzy? Do you feel faint! Jesus H. Christ! I think you've got a hard-on! Did your parents have any children that lived?
RCV: Sir, yes, sir.
TLP: I bet they regret that. You're so ugly you can be a modern art master piece! What's your name fat buddy?
RCV: Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir.
TLP: Lawrence? Lawrence what... of Arabia?
RCV: Sir, no, sir.
TLP: That name sounds like royalty. Are you royalty? Do you suck dicks? Bullshit. I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose. I don't like the name Lawrence, only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence. From now on you're Gomer Pyle.

Warrior| 12.13.12 @ 8:29PM

In this scene, he is giving a motivational speech to a Liberals Anonymous meeting:

If you ladies leave my class, if you survive my training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, f%$#ing beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit! You will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that? Tonight... you pukes will sleep with purp! You will give purp a girl's name! Because this is the only pussy you people are going to get! Your days of finger-banging old Mary Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over! You're married to this piece, this moron of flesh and blood devoid of brains! And you will be faithful!

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 12:28AM

The irony of the film "Full Metal Jacket" is that is was based on the book "The Short Timers" by Gus Hasford (the character "Joker" is supposed to be based on him). He hated lifers, which of course is why the disturbed recruit Leonard Lawrence aka Gomer Pyle kills the Drill Instructor. Ironically, the film wound up conferring some form of star status on R. Lee Ermey based on his portrayal of Gunnery Sergeant Hartmann, who was the ultimate Lifer (and Ermey himself served around ten years on active duty, before the wounds he received in Viet Nam led to his medical retirement as a Staff Sergeant, making the actor who portrayed the lifer a lifer).

Hasford himself reportedly wound up serving some jail time due to his compulsive wholesale theft of library books, and died within a couple of years of the release of "Full Metal Jacket".

But he wrote one of the best films with some of the best dialogue (or monologues) about the Marine Corps, despite his many flaws and conflicts with his fellow Marines.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 12:33AM

Of course, regarding the purp alteration in the monologue, I'm not certain that a righteous comparison could be made between the highly useful and necessitated M14 and anything about purp.

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 7:02AM

I was gonna say that I thought that Warrior had wandered "Off the Reservation" so to speak, but then I realized that his Entry is the Truest Form of what this game is all about. He couldn't find what he was looking for, so he made one up, himself. Like Obabam, off Prompter.

A perfect pro-typical Hollywood scene, with all of the Sex and Violence, the word:Pussy, and the Obligatory "Dick" in Purp's Mouth. (Anyone see that coming?) Did I spell "coming" right?

If you find yourself Clueless as to cumming up with something for my Pugsley Rocket? Feel free to go Open Line Friday all over the place. Put out your own News Headline from this Week, and work with that.

Alas. Sometimes, I fear I give you people far more credit than you deserve.

It's 7 am. Don't forget to take your Pills.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 7:24AM

...and lets face it, the quintessential porn scene could be an entry for this week's contest, wherein the visitor to the home becomes a government worker( e.g.mailman, census taker instead of the cable guy or milk man) who metaphorically does what occurs in every porn scene with every woman home alone (or with one or two of her very hot friends), except that he does it poorly and with great expense to someone else and many unintended consequences...

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 1:56PM

That's what I'm talking about!

mike 3/505| 12.14.12 @ 3:03PM

I read that book...."TLP always rings twice."

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 3:08PM

I thought it was: Tim always comes twice?

Did I spell that right?

TLP| 12.15.12 @ 11:15AM

Geez. What's with all the "Come"Jokes, today?

mike 3/505| 12.15.12 @ 11:49AM

Come on now!

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.15.12 @ 1:07PM

Most forms of humor are welcome.

TLP| 12.15.12 @ 5:34PM

What the Colonel said.

R Martin| 12.14.12 @ 8:20AM

In the early days of this contest, one could come up with an analogy in about 30 seconds. However, now with the participation of obvious professionals and various assorted show-offs, we amateurs are forced to work at it, yet the judges still seem to favor their little pets.

“The Sound of Music” suggestion surprised me at first, because I thought what’s his name would go with “West Side Story” and his very favorite show tune. Then I realized that he and a certain other competitor, who also likes that song, compete regularly in Julie Andrews look alike contests, so the suggestion made perfect sense. Hence…

Aphids on roses and whiskers on otters
Hillary Clinton and other globe trotters
Michelle Obama on John Kerry’s yacht
These are some things I don’t like a whole lot!

Cream colored vouchers and Obama cell phones
Business that wrestles with government millstones
Cabinet officials with privilege to flout
These are some things I could sure do without!

Girls in white dresses with Democrat logos
Public school students who learn just what Joe knows
Philly Black Panthers in militant pose
These are the things that get right up my nose!

When the birds sing, when the sun shines
When I’m feeling glad
I simply remember what voters have done
And then I really feel bad.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 8:41AM

I wanted to wait to make sure that I didn't interrupt in the event additional brilliance was to follow this most excellent entry. I think it becomes even more relevant to today's theme if it is recalled that the Von Trapp family (on whose exploits "The Sound of Music" is based) fled their native land when a tyrannical government took over and began to persecute all who opposed it.

mike 3/505| 12.14.12 @ 3:05PM

SNAP X 3!

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 8:45AM

I know CJW remembers my next entry. It is from one of the best one hour drama series in the history of television (or at least the 70s): “The Rockford Files”. We have discussed this and other episodes on the site previously, but today’s theme invites yet another resurrection.

Rockford Files Episode 100 “The Battle Ax and the Exploding Cigar”

After losing all of his money in Vegas, Rockford gets a ride back to Malibu with a man heading that way, on the condition that he does the driving. When the police pull him over, he learns the car he is driving is stolen, and the trunk is full of unregistered automatic weapons, resulting in his arrest on federal charges.

After he makes bail, Rockford tries to get to the bottom of why the man he was with whose car he was driving was not arrested, as federal law enforcement agencies wrangle over how to prosecute him. In the course of his investigation, the stenographer who took his statement to the feds mysteriously disappears, leading Rockford to join forces with the highly bureaucratic boss of the steno pool in order to resolve what is going on.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 8:45AM

Eventually, it is learned that the CIA is also involved , as the man Rockford was riding with it actually running guns to Central American rebels (unbeknownst to the FBI and the ATF), and had arranged for his release and the absence of the stenographer in order to keep the role of their stooge out of the case until their scheme can be executed. The episode culminates with an intramural shootout between government agencies, though limited damage was done, as the firearms were defective, and the CIA was hoping to damage the relationship with the firearms traffickers and the rebels by supplying them with defective weapons.

The plot speaks for itself regarding the inefficiencies and ineptitude that any government, much less a poorly led one can breed (the episode originally aired on January 12, 1979, in the middle of the Carter Administration). Of course, while the theme was easy to understand, and series creators Roy Huggins and Stephen Cannell frequently would use overbearing and/or incompetent government as an element in their story telling, this one seemed pretty far-fetched. Then, as facts about Fast & Furious began to leak out, I realized it was actually understated.

R Martin| 12.14.12 @ 8:54AM

See what I mean.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 9:04AM

Brevity may be the soul of wit, but excessive verbage and detail is its flesh and blood (and the BMI of some of my entries approach morbid obesity standards).

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 10:00AM

Oh my God.

Little Rickey's a Genius.

Wait'll the girls see that.

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 2:00PM

I wrote that before I read Albert's Entry.

This is gonna be tight.

(That's what she said)

mike 3/505| 12.15.12 @ 1:23PM

You wish

TLP| 12.15.12 @ 5:36PM

I know.

I admit it.

With me, it's more of a Hot Dog thrown down a Hallway.

CJW| 12.14.12 @ 10:13AM

Albert
Excellent.
Be back late this afternoon.

Hardcard| 12.14.12 @ 9:20AM

Say What? There's a hold-up in the Bronx, Brooklyn 's broken out in fights, where's Tootie and Muldoon when you need them. The rocketman is ready for a little missile muscle, kimshee please on rye with nice glass tea (1 spoon).

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 9:26AM

Kim 54, Where Are You?

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 2:01PM

Isn't Tootie at that Private School?

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 9:33AM

In honor of Harry Belafonte's latest inane remarks suggesting Obama imprion his opponents like the Third World dictators he admires, I offer the followin parody of Harry's signature hit "The Banana Boat Song (Day-O)":

King O
Ki-i-i-ing O
King O win and I lose-a my home
I work all night and I pay the tax
(King O win and I lose-a my home)
Obamacare comes and it breaks our backs
(King O win and I lose-a my home)
Come Mr. Tally Man tally up the debt
(King O win and I lose-a my home)
Come Mr. Tally Man tally up the debt
(King O win and I lose-a my home)
Its sixteen seventeen eighteen trillion
(King O win and I lose-a my home)
Its sixteen seventeen eighteen trillion
(King O win and I lose-a my home)

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 9:34AM

King, I say Ki-i-ing O
(King O win and I lose-a my home)
King, I say Ki-i-ing O
(King O win and I lose-a my home)
A beautiful bunch of rich taxpayers
(King O win and I lose-a my home)
Hide your assets and say your prayers
(King O win and I lose-a my home)
Come Mr. Tally Man tally up the debt
(King O win and I lose-a my home)
Come Mr. Tally Man tally up the debt
(King O win and I lose-a my home)
Its sixteen seventeen eighteen trillion
(King O win and I lose-a my home)
Its sixteen seventeen eighteen trillion
(King O win and I lose-a my home)
King I say King I say King I say Ki –i-i-ing O-O-O
King O win and I lose-a my home.

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 2:02PM

HOLY SHIT, that was good.

Evidently, Marijuana is Legal in Deleware, now.

Pecos Pete| 12.14.12 @ 10:04AM

The competition is fierce today. But others must yet play.

My first entry is based on a poem by Adam John Coles of Australia.

For those of us who actually read the news, I think the Michigan legislature, and Steven Crowder's punch-out, deserve a tribute.

THE FIRST ROUND...
The sound of the bell rings, the union thug enters to oppose
The anticipation of the kill, the thirst for blood in his pose;
The reporter and the thug, stand naked in the ring
The reporter without his hat, the thug without his king;
The reporter dances with rhythm, like all great scribes,
The thug responds with gang symbols and ebonic jibe;
The Capital explodes violently, with a savage blow to the head,
The thug draws a hidden gun, to shoot a legislator dead;
The lawyer dodges the bullet, to this day we don't know how,
The reporter scars the thug with razor sharp words, as if stealing his cash cow
The thug fuelled with anger, will not accept defeat
He calls his homies to the Capital, and orders a vicious beat
The reporter greatly out numbered, was far from down and out,
The bell then rang, the first round over, the thug disappeared with a shout...

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 10:46AM

Snap, Snap,Snap.

KennesawJack| 12.14.12 @ 12:53PM

You know, way back when I was the first to do a poem (remember "The Craven", Tim set upon me unmercifully - "gay poetry", I think he called it.) now you guys have left me in the dust. Methinks I may have to sit this one out to salve my bruised and battered ego. (And don't get off on the "salved" part, Timmy). Ain't enough snaps to do justice to Ricky, Al, and Pecos' early work today.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 1:00PM

Remember, your work does not have to be original (and like Mike, you can take credit for the entries of others).

mike 3/505| 12.14.12 @ 3:10PM

No. He cannot. Only I can do that...and only when I have permitted the spirit of Obama to stand in for me.

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 2:05PM

Don't you dare sit this one out.

And, I never said that your Poetry was Gay.

Never!

I said it was Queer.

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 2:07PM

There's a difference.

7-08| 12.14.12 @ 10:32AM

Packers Calendar: It’s 12/12/12, Happy Aaron Rodgers Day! The Wisconsin state legislature passed a resolution making 12/12/12 “Aaron Rodgers Day.”

The origin of the “cheese head” and the myth that this is a sports related article of apparel.

The “Cheese head” is actually an evolutionary physiological aberration of colon breech birth. It is a little known fact (to other than hobnail boot wearing midwives) that the “cheese head” is actually a genetic mutation that is present at a native Wisconsinites birth. The wedge shape is oriented so that their mother’s asshole does not slam shut.
In most instances this deformity is corrected. Novice mohils perform the “wedge bris” for free to hone their skills seeing as the tissue material is identical, but due to inexperience the results are often less than satisfactory; this accounts for the high percentage of ugly Wisconsinites.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 10:47AM

Tim, can we get a judge's ruling on whether or not this qualifies?

R Martin| 12.14.12 @ 11:00AM

Whatever the ruling, Jack is not going to like the entry.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 11:05AM

The only thing that would offend him more would be if (pareve) was added to signify its kosher status.

Warrior| 12.14.12 @ 11:45AM

A different conceptual take on the contest. Nice.

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 2:06PM

Qualify?

Have you SEEN people from Wisconsin?

Hardcard| 12.14.12 @ 11:10AM

How did all these people get into this contest? I spent three months just waiting for my application to enter , and there in wham bam. PBS and sesame street are interviewing for a new more "homo"genious elmo with pants on (fire not required) send some of these people over there, too much competion is verboten as per Il duece the great. Exec.Order # 345976-A/G

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 12:12PM

The executive order citation practically guarantees that at least you won't get that mop.

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 2:10PM

At least not the whole Mop.

Maybe, just the handle.

Goldwater Girl| 12.14.12 @ 2:18PM

Looks like I'm gonna need some wine to come up with an entry this week. After an exhausting week of explaining the impact of Obamacare to my clients, I am living with the effects of incompetent politicians 24/7. The new fees that kick in beginning in 2014, are quite a hit with large employers. One was thrilled to learn that the "health insurance industry fee"(WTF?), is going to cost him over $1,000,000. See, that's the thanks you get for being a good corporate citizen; now you get to fund the risk pool for all the people that weren't willing to pay for coverage. I can only hope that this thing collapses of it's own weight. And now, that we are finding out what's in the bill, per Nancy Fellatio, even the democRATS are running for cover. Can't make this shit up!

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 2:36PM

If you can't consume enough wine to inspire an entry, I believe TLP has suggested in the past that some wine for the judges (c/o him, of course) might inspire how fairly they evaluate any entry.

Goldwater Girl| 12.14.12 @ 2:43PM

You would be impressed with my "capacity" for wine, or any other adult beverage. And like you, I become a much better dancer, singer, philosopher, beauty queen, etc, as a result. I'm not sure I want to win the mop though.

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 3:14PM

And all of us will be that much prettier.

TLP| 12.15.12 @ 9:26AM

I'm assuming that when you say that we would be Impressed by your Capacity to Consume Wine and other Adult Beverages, you're talking about what always happens later on the top of the Pool Table?

Am I warm?

Goldwater Girl| 12.14.12 @ 2:22PM

I wondered why Purp never comes to Tim's contest, then I remembered that liberals have no sense of humor. "my god, you people are dumb!"

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 3:19PM

What are you talking about?

Purp is always here.

His trip to his Blood Tests.

His Blowup Doll.

The Dick in his mouth.

He couldn't be more here, if we had a live Youtube feed of his Daily Prostate Exam with Doctor Sausage Fingers.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 3:25PM

The effigy of Purp that attends the contest is far superior in intelligence, and much less obnoxious than the other one.

TLP| 12.14.12 @ 3:58PM

You left out: Prettier.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 11:46PM

All of the above

Warrior| 12.15.12 @ 1:41PM

Purp is driving on I-95. He answers his cell and his friend with benefits vtwin is calling. "Purp, be careful on your way home, I heard on the news that there's a maniac driving on 95 wrong way!" He replies,"No crap, there are dozens of them!"

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.14.12 @ 3:37PM

Happy Hour and a Christmas Party beckon. I'll be back later this evening, if only I can get that saber-toothed cat put out for the night.

Yabba-Dabba-Dooooooo!

BL in AK| 12.15.12 @ 2:29AM

Another tough contest topic. Really like Little Ricky's Sound of Music and Albert's Flintstones entries. Since I'm a big fan of the Flintstones lets keep the history theme going.

Let’s look to the movie Braveheart, but only at Sophie Marceau’s role of Princess Isabella of France because she is way hotter than Mel G. unless your Purp or vtwin.

In the 13th century, after several years of political unrest, Scotland is invaded and conquered by King Edward I of England referred as Longshanks for his height, here he is none other than BHO.
Longshanks, worried by the threat of the rebellion (to his socialist ways), sends the wife of his gay son Edward (Purp), the French princess Isabella (here as Hillary), to try to negotiate with Wallace (Kim Jong II) in hopes that Wallace kills her in order to draw the French king (Cigar loving Bill C.) to declare war on Wallace in revenge. Wallace refuses the bribe sent with Isabella by Longshanks, but after meeting him in person, Isabella becomes enamored with him.

BL in AK| 12.15.12 @ 2:37AM

Following a tryst with Wallace, Isabella exacts revenge on the terminally ill Longshanks by telling him she is pregnant with Wallace's child, intent on ending Longshank's line and ruling in his son's place.

Hope the judges like history and French women like Sophie. She later played the villianess in a 007 flick as an oil baron with a pipeline that also double-crossed the Pierce Brosnan Bond. She is one hot babe I doubt Purp or vtwin would ever appreciate.

cheerz
BL

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.15.12 @ 10:15AM

I particularly enjoy the scene where Longshanks briefly attempts to start the first English parachute battalion, and throws young Edward's lover out a high castle window.Might I offer Joe Biden in the role of the young man who was very unsuccessful in his attempt to repeal the law of gravity.

BL in AK| 12.15.12 @ 12:50PM

Albert- indeed. "first English parachute battalion" with his baggies to lower him to the ground. Biteme sounds good.

Meant to say Wallace was Kim Jong I and the princess's (Hillary's) unborn was Kim Jong II. Must have been the barleywines.
BL

TLP| 12.15.12 @ 5:48PM

Sounds more like - The Pot.

mike 3/505| 12.16.12 @ 3:23PM

"...parachute battalion..."

Once again Big Al, you have caused me to spit out some very nice scotch onto my keyboard.

TLP| 12.15.12 @ 9:21AM

It's Saturday morning.

Allow me to recommend a Rereading of everything that has been written, thus far. You won't be disappointed. That is........You won't be disappointed, unless you were expecting to glean something from one the Girls in the Neighborhood.

Only Goldwater Girl has stopped by so far, and that was just to Whine about not having enough Wine, and to write a Monday thru Thursday comment here, which, as everybody knows, is strictly a Friday/Satuday kinda place.

No Joellen, with her Teachers Union Public School Spellcheck App.

No Tina B and her Marvelous way with words, which always reminds me of what one might hear at a Cock Fight down in the Barrio, or while the Action is happening on one of the Dog Rape Tables at Michael Vick's House, back in the day.

Alan's Girl is a No Show. Is it possible that she's actually with Alan? And, is it Alan Thicke?

Anywho.

Good Morning. Good Writing. And try and stay in good cheer. I know the News Stories. That area is my Old Stomping Grounds. I still only live a stone's throw from there. I get it. This is what He wants. He seeks to wear us down. To fill us with HOPELESSNESS, and DESPAIR. Don't let Him. Continue with your lives, and don't look back.

Never Surrender! Never Give Up!

Tim Allen - Galaxy Quest..............HILARIOUS.

Joellen| 12.15.12 @ 9:30AM

And so it is Christmas and what have we've done, but destroy our once strong foundation of religious decorum.

We've took our dear Savior from school rooms abound, the children no longer can publicly say out loud;

That GOD is our Father, and Holy HIS name, he blesses us with morals and expects us to behave.

If only on Christmas and all the days long, we taught that GOD is living and has not gone awol;

And so on this Christmas, hug tightley your child, remind them that JESUS will stay with us through difficult times.

My brothers and sisters on this Christmas day, although it may be difficult, stay strong in your faith.

That JESUS our Savior, the KING OF ALL KINGS, has come to us this Christmas, to lead us HIS way. He'll comfort those who mourn the worlds evil ways, he'll set us all free from the world's heavy chains.

And so on this Christmas be humble in prayer, and know that one day there be no more tears; we'll laugh as if children, which actually we'll be, cause we'll be in Heaven, with JESUS our King.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.15.12 @ 10:08AM

I'm not sure what the judges are going to say, but I think your entry is God's favorite up to this point.

TLP| 12.15.12 @ 11:20AM

I don't know if it's my Favourite, but it's right up there.

CJW| 12.15.12 @ 12:29PM

It is my favorite. Tim, are your English, you use the u in colour and favourite?

R Martin| 12.15.12 @ 12:47PM

Or as the Australians might call him, a whinging Pom. CJW, we'll talk about Bastiat in due course, when there are no Poms to interfere.

Warrior| 12.15.12 @ 1:42PM

More like a bloody wanker.

TLP| 12.15.12 @ 5:53PM

Spoken like a true English "Cigarette".

Figure it out.

I'm All American.

I just like the Olde English way of spelling things.

You guys stay with your Ebonics.

I'll stay with The King's English.

BL in AK| 12.15.12 @ 1:06PM

May God Bless you always Joellen. My Dad was born on Christmas and my Grandfather was the first minister of our church our congregation started upon arriving from the old country. That strong upbringing has kept the faith in me all these years, even though I have a tough time during the holidays each year. Thank you for your wonderful prose.
BL

Kwan| 12.15.12 @ 10:56AM

I'm looking for an Analogy of someone trying to do something that is WAY OUT OF THEIR LEAGUE....TLP
Movie: Payback
The Outfit -A powerful criminal organization- has a real problem. They've got $70,000 of Porter's (Mel Gibson) money. He wants it back and they don't want to give it to him.
Porter and Val Resnick heist $140,000 from the Chinese Triads. Val and Porter's wife doublecross Porter. She shoots Porter in the back, then her and Val take-off with the money leaving Porter for dead. Porter manages to get the bullets removed from his back then spends a few months recuperating. Once back in shape Porter begins to track down Val in order to recover his $70,000 share of the heist. Val has repaid a $130,000 debt to the Outfit in order to rejoin the organization and doesn't have the money. Porter tracks Val to an Outfit hotel breaks into his room and demands his money. Val promises to meet him the next day with the money, but makes a deal with Chinese Triad killers to kill Porter. Porter survives that attempt and ends up killing Val in Rosie's apartment -Porter's girlfriend- after Val forces his way in looking to kill Porter, who he believes is in the apartment. Meanwhile Carter an Outfit leader sends a hit-squad to kill Porter who ends up killing all three of them. Porter comes to the conclusion that if a big organization like the Outfit decides to

Kwan| 12.15.12 @ 11:01AM

have him whacked, that he must be moving up in the world. Porter goes to Carter's office in an effort to regain his money. After knocking out Carter's two body guards he tells Carter he wants his money back. Carter turns him down and Porter tells him to call the top man Bronson and ask him for the money. Porter tells Bronson that if he doesn't get the money he'll kill Carter. Bronson refuses and Porter kills Carter and tells Bronson he's going after Fairfax -another Outfit leader- then he's coming after him. Porter and Rosie kidnap Bronson's son Johnny. Porter breaks into Fairfax's home and has Fairfax call Bronson so that he can inform him that he has his son who he'll kill if he doesn't give him back his $70,000. Bronson agrees to give back $130,000. The Outfit captures Porter and begins to torture him in an effort to find out where Johnny is. Bronson shows up with the $130,000 and promises to kill Porter quickly if he'll reveal Johnny's location. Porter gives an address that has a bomb wired to a phone, that the Outfit hit-squad had set-up to kill Porter. Bronson has Porter thrown into the trunk and they drive to the address. While Bronson, Fairfax, and some other Outfit members enter the apartment, Porter has managed to break thru the back seat of the car and using the car phone dial the phone

Kwan| 12.15.12 @ 11:06AM

in the apartment that's connected to the bomb, when Bronson answers it him, Fairfax, and the others are killed. Porter takes the car and the $130,000 meets Rosie and they head for Canada.
Analogy: The outfit has misjudged the threat that Porter was to their organization. Porter like them is a criminal but to survive in his line of work –payroll and bank robberies- you have to be tougher, smarter, fearless and more violent. For the Outfit Porter ends up being the equivalent of a Terminator Robot. http://www.youtube.com/watch?N.....jw4KOtctLM

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.15.12 @ 11:19AM

Great film, or perhaps I should just say "Hubba, Hubba".

TLP| 12.15.12 @ 11:28AM

How nice for you that that was on Last Night.

I do like that Movie. Thank You: Lucy Liu. For everything.

Well done, Mr. Kwan.

I do like that Movie, and you used it with the skill of a Ninja.

Hai!

Speaking a that? Where's all the Jackie Chan stuff we were promised?

I use a story about ASIA, and I don't get any Jackie Chan?

Who do ya gotta sleep with to get off of this Show? (Benny Hill Show)

CJW| 12.15.12 @ 12:27PM

Kwan
You will not believe this, but I was thinking of this as I saw the movie with Mel Gibson last night, and had just read the book "Hunter" by Donald Westlake. I have not seen the original movie with Lee Marvin, have you? Great book and movie. Th

BL in AK| 12.15.12 @ 12:57PM

Kwan-
One of my favorites also. Liked the scene when Porter shoots Fairfax's suitcases filled with clothes worth more than his $70K. I thought it was $80K? The Outfit was always getting the number wrong too. And getting back at the dirty cops with the badge in Val's hand.
cheerz
BL

CJW| 12.15.12 @ 1:09PM

In the novel, Donald Westlake writes under the name Richard Stark. Porter is Parker, there is a series of books on Parker.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.15.12 @ 1:26PM

I read it 15 or 20 years ago, back when the sums involved were still considered to be a lot of money.

CJW| 12.15.12 @ 2:38PM

The book was written in 1962.

TLP| 12.15.12 @ 5:59PM

That's what Purp said.

1962.

CJW| 12.15.12 @ 12:37PM

Another entry for the stupidity of govenment decision. There were so many during the Bubba and Obama reign.

"Black Hawk Down" where Bubba sent 20 Rangers to capture some two bit gangster in Mogadishu. Poorly planned, no real reason for it, and not enough of the proper equipment.

Sounds like Benghazi, Fast and Furious, Afghan war.

At least the Bubba Secretary of Defense, Lee Aspin, had the moral courage to resign, unlike the weasels Mrs Bubba and Panetta.

And after the disaster of the poor planning, our men were killed and their bodies desecrated, again like Benghazi, Bubba, like Obama, cut and ran when they should have demolised the area.

Not a cheerful or funny analogy but there is nothing cheerful or funny about Bubba and Obama getting Americans killed, and no retribution.

Joellen| 12.15.12 @ 1:58PM

CJW, the Clintons & Obamas are of one, evil manipulators who will see retribution on judgement day.

So here's my final thought for the day, for off to work I go:

Lucky Ole Sun by Frankie Lane

Up in the morning, we toil all day, we work for the devil all day;

Cause the government has cometh, he spendth our money and leaves nothing for those who've earned their pay.

Dear Lord above, cant you know that we're trying, trying to just survive;

We want to restore this country to your glory, but struggle with what's going on.

We want to magnify your presence but always come upon someone who shows resentment.

Show us your mercy, send us someone, one who'll remove this liberal conundrum;

For when we are free, of this progressive mentality, then we'll sing joyously once more.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.15.12 @ 5:26PM

I was watching the Three Stooges for a while this afternoon, and it occurred to me that there are so many episodes that would fit this week's theme, that it probably should be a contest by itself some week. There is, of course, Moe, the condescending bossy one who thinks he’s better than everyone else (Obama); Shemp, the goofy one (Biden), and the whiny one, Larry (Hillary). Curly is lovable, and therefore unlikely to every be mistaken for someone in this administration, so should Tim decide to use this theme some day, perhaps it should be limited to episodes with Shemp, Joe Besser or Curly Joe Derita.

TLP| 12.15.12 @ 6:59PM

Another one in the can.

144 Comments, and just 17 were Certified Entries.

I blame myself.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy the Back and Forths. Hell, they're funnier than the Entries, but I feel like you're starting to perform like you've been on Unemployment for the last 3 Years.

Something's wrong.

No Drunken Sailor. No John II. No KennesawJack to speak of. No Bob Grant. No Nick. No Tina B. Although we did get Al Adab back, for about 5 Minutes.

We had over 300 comments last week. 160 more than we did this week.

Something's wrong.

With that in mind, I am discontinuing The Contest until further notice.

For everything there is a Season.

Apparently, this is not the Season for this, anymore.

The Winners are Everybody who showed up this weekend and put in the effort.

The only Losers are those who sat out, for whatever reason they might have had.

TLP| 12.15.12 @ 7:00PM

The old song tells us that: You don't know what you've got, til it's gone.

We'll see.

Maybe, after the Holiday's are over?

I wanna thank everyone who showed up these last two days, and Damn everyone to Hell, who didn't. (Just Kidding)

God knows, this lasted way longer than I ever dreamed of, but I'm not what you would call: A Dreamer, and I can read the writing on the wall.

Have a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, and remember all of those Families who just Lost EVERYTHING, in Newtown, the next time you start feeling sorry for yourselves.

Life is Precious.

Life is Short.

Live it, while you can.

And, don't take anything for granted.

Au revoir.

Tim.

R Martin| 12.15.12 @ 8:49PM

Reservoir to you, too. And many thanks for all the good work. Well done.

TLP| 12.15.12 @ 7:01PM

How's that, for The Airing of Grievences?

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.15.12 @ 7:04PM

First, there was the feat of strength, to get it started.

Another week has passed by, and tragedy continues to surround us in 2012. Whether it is the slaughter of innocents, or the reelection of those who would try to exploit the slaughter of innocents for political purposes to advance their progressive agenda, this has been a tough year all around. Still, if there is a bright spot this fall, it has been the weekly contest.

Once again, we get together on an abandoned thread, that sits no longer used, like the former General Motors assembly plant a few blocks from my house. Our host, the indomitable TLP, tosses out the grenade of a theme, and we can choose to pass it along like a hot potato, dive on it and smother the blast and revel in the glory of its fireworks.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.15.12 @ 7:05PM

Despite the pressing demands of the holiday season and horror in the headlines, we still managed a fair turnout of contestants and supporters. While there are fewer entries, more have checked in to cheer on those who have thrown their hat in the ring. Thanks to KJ, Mike, Goldwater Girl, and Al Adab for their appearances many and varied here this week. There was also something from the one who might consider buying a vowel (or consonant), 7-08.

R Martin, CJW, Joellen, Senor Pete, BL, Kwan, Warrior and the prolific if not proficient Hardcard all took their place in the arena, ducked, weaved, threw and took their punches. The song parodies, poems, jokes, TV scripts, movies (both popular and porn) and something like reality TV, which help to cast some brightness and humor into otherwise dark days. Thanks to all who showed up, and say a prayer for those who didn’t make it this week, in the hope they will be able to join us again, when Tim decides to resurrect this awesome forum.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.15.12 @ 11:49PM

Also, thanks for another appearance by Oldefarte, who confuses me by placing his entry so high up on the thread.

Pecos Pete| 12.16.12 @ 7:18AM

Albert, that's because Oldefarte is always high on ... something.

BL in AK| 12.15.12 @ 7:44PM

All-

Wishing everyone a safe holiday season, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
cheerz
BL

R Martin| 12.15.12 @ 8:09PM

Sincerest dittos. You should all know that I have it on good authority that this hiatus is entirely due to Tim's need to prep a little harder for the next Julie Andrews look-alike contest. He lost the last one to Vinny from Bayonne and is not too pleased about it.

Best to all,

John II| 12.15.12 @ 8:01PM

Sorry for being AWOL. I even had an entry in mind, with some reservations: The Academy-Award-winning 1934 Laurel and Hardy short "Music Box," but the reservations turned on a queasiness about associating L&H with the Boy Kim. The former were deliberate clowns.

Then there was Christmas shopping--and yes, the horror in the news. The usual cold-hearted suspects of the Bloomberg variety almost instantly started the usual canned bloviation about "tragedy."

It wasn't a "tragedy"; it was an atrocity. I guess the MSM creeps and their favorite politicians don't have grandkids.

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.15.12 @ 10:07PM

One of the aspects of prayer is sometimes they are answered, if only partially. Glad you could belatedly join us.

While doing some of my Christmas shopping today, I had to await the results of the firearms instant background check for the extra half hour it took for my friend with the FFL to get past the busy signals. While the Christmas Rush may be responsible for some of the delay, I think most of the crush was in response to the POTUS' remarks yesterday.

TLP| 12.15.12 @ 8:57PM

God Bless Is all.

Everyone.

Tiny Tim.

TLP| 12.15.12 @ 9:01PM

God Bless US all.

DAMN IT!

CJW| 12.15.12 @ 10:04PM

Thanks, Tim, Albert, Joellen, RMartin, the Colonel, Senor Pete,Kwan, BL, and the rest, and Merry Christmas.

Joellen| 12.15.12 @ 11:48PM

Merry Christmas my friends, it truly is my pleasure to be in your presence.

One thing I might add Tim, the articles themselves seem pretty skimpy lately; it probably is the time of year when everyone is busy. So, think about just keeping it open and those who show, show.

Whatever though, MERRY CHRISTMAS, stay strong and know that it aint over till its over.

Tina B| 12.15.12 @ 10:14PM

You are still the bomb diggety, regardless of the news from CT. It was just difficult to get creative today. Thinking about the blessing my grandkids are to me on a daily and often hourly basis, I cooked for them all day, we bonded, and I plan to read all your magnificent entries tomorrow and envy the winners their prizes, again. Love you even more as the months go by. We are in this together and may the Lord bless you as you love on your families.

Pecos Pete| 12.16.12 @ 7:23AM

Tim: Your efforts are appreciated and I thank you for the fun.

Albert: Your efforts are ... well, maybe, almost ... as good as Tim. Thank you for the game.

And to everyone, this is a time for prayer, and the time to recognize the wonder of life. There is a God, even if the democrats don't agree.

Merry Christmas!

Pecos Pete| 12.16.12 @ 7:44AM

Tim ... you'll see us Monday through Friday ... you can't escape the eyes of Tim's legion.

In the Beginning
Only a Few
Came a Laughing

There was Grinning
Then some More
Showed for Spinning

Tim did Advertising
And TAS
Tried Competing

By not Showing
The village Trolls
Were not Annoying

In the Ending
There is Found
We are only Beginning

Albert Constantine Jr.| 12.16.12 @ 10:57AM

Five Stanza Haiku
Oh, the Talent
We are truly blessed

mike 3/505| 12.16.12 @ 3:27PM

Tim,

Thanks again for another great contest. You are probably correct....maybe it's time for a break...give us all some time over the Christmas holiday to dig thru our movie & book archives for some real zingers. Again...thanks to all and have a Great Christmas and a Happy & Prosperous New Year.

Mike

More Articles by Jay D. Homnick

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