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Ben Stein's Diary
Missing in Action
Cut off from friends, as Republicans contemplate suicide.
(Page 2 of 2)
But the sound — that’s the best sound I have ever heard. Beyond perfect. Hearing it is like being drugged and escaping from all of life’s problems but with no ill effects. The closing scenes of a helicopter with a mini-gun attacking a manor house in Scotland are like taking cocaine — only, again, with no ill effects. Just breathtaking. I love helicopter sounds. We all do. Why?
Go see it soon.
Then home, to contemplate life without B and with my ultimate career savior, A, fading into a worrisome vagueness. I am so lucky I have Phil and John and Aram and Russ and Wlady and, above all, my wifey. If I did not have her, I might as well be in prison, too. And let’s not forget Julie Goodgirl.
I am not James Bond. I am not fearless and I am worried about the future. Things are falling apart. Where is B when I need him? A and B, missing in action.
About the Author
Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes “Ben Stein’s Diary” for every issue of The American Spectator.
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Hardcard| 12.4.12 @ 8:36AM
Sounds like you should visit your convicted felonious friend. I guess you've got a few pesos invested in skyfall the movie, six times and with the imax. my heart bleeds for you and madoff jr. take a nap and cash the checks.
Jim Adcox| 12.4.12 @ 8:38AM
Hardcard: You are aptly named.
Jack in Wi| 12.4.12 @ 11:11AM
If Ben thinks the Republicans are going in the wrong direction, maybe there is some hope. Ben is always wrong about everthing, especially economics.
Occam's Tool| 12.4.12 @ 11:34AM
No, Ben is correct about abortion and about some aspects of morality. Economically, the idea that taking money from the private sector helps with recovery is idiotic.
I watch fewer and fewer Hollywood films. Depraved scumbags doing depraved things on camera. I watch Riff-Trax and read. Starting Ford Maddox Ford's Parade's End. Very well written, very lucid.
gracielamiramontes| 12.5.12 @ 9:47AM
If you think Thelma`s story is impressive., three weeks ago my mum's best friend basically also made $6279 putting in 20 hour's a week at home and they're roomate's step-sister`s neighbour done this for 8-months and made more than $6279 parttime from a labtop. use the instructions from
this address..WWW.youtube.qr.net/jOUs/watch?v=9xOf6Pe0ETk
MikeW| 12.4.12 @ 6:29PM
I agree, Hardcard. Not the skyfall and madoff comments. But Ben should visit his friend. He talks as though the guy dropped off the face of the earth.
I think every prison allows visitation. I had a friend locked up a couple years for DUI - like B, he hadn't had any legal problems before that, so it was a tough transition for him. But I visited him regularly, as did his family. Deal with it, don't moan about it.
John786| 12.4.12 @ 9:29AM
Am I, the only person in the world, that hated skyfall. Ok, the visuals - shanghai- Scotland were stunning but the rest. Utter yawn- kept looking at my watch. Maybe I need to see it again: in IMAX.
PolishKnight| 12.4.12 @ 9:40AM
Sean Connery's Bond had an issue with management in "In His Majesty's Secret Service" and this was reprised with Pierce Brosnan in "Die Another Day" and then with Daniel Craig in Casino Royale. They all played "rogue" agents which was fun for the characters, but it's a yawner when repeated in Skyfall. In addition, while all Bond films required the audience to grant significant artistic license (yes, I know that phrase probably should not be used in this context!), you had to stretch plausibility when you watch a passenger train get torn apart and it's not stopped, a villain who can hack into ANY computer system that wants to get captured in order to escape and then go on a shooting spree in a courtroom (why release the virus that way? He was already hacked in before.)
Al Adab| 12.4.12 @ 10:37AM
TLP will be angry that we are talking about movies once again. I saw two this year John Carter, and Atlas II. There is great pleasure living in a town without a theater. I am not inundated with daily doses of popular culture. Much more satisfaction to be found in my library and here posting than spending time at the "circuses" being distracted from the battle before us.
Denver Todd| 12.4.12 @ 9:58AM
You can add me. The thing that irks me is that they used Skyfall as a reset for Bond, and made me pay for it.
TLP| 12.4.12 @ 1:25PM
You didn't like Skyfall?
Might I suggest the Movie about Islam, on YouTube?
Or, you could sit on a rug, and read The Satanic Verses, while you're son is outside gathering Stones for when his Mother gets home.
TLP| 12.4.12 @ 1:26PM
That's for you, Johnnie.
John786| 12.4.12 @ 5:53PM
On earth we are brothers in faith or humanity: we must learn to tolerate and Accept. But in the eternal life to come the metrics will be different. My religion is ample in salvation: of that I am certain.
Appleby| 12.4.12 @ 9:29AM
I don't see the point of this very disjointed diary entry. Except for one brief mention of the Republican party on a "kamikaze mission", it doesn't seem to have anything to do with American Spectator and its interests.
PolishKnight| 12.4.12 @ 9:32AM
It's Ben's diary, Appleby. There have been irrelevant columns here before. Some people love Ben's diary and some hate it.
Al Adab| 12.4.12 @ 10:38AM
Ben has a great gig. Simply enjoy life, write about it and collect pay and royalties. Does it get much better than that? After all we bloggers do it for nothing> Should we unionize?
Zeppo| 12.4.12 @ 11:49AM
I was gratified to learn that Ben has an apartment for hiding and sleeping to complement his pieds-a-terre in Malibu, Beverly Hills, Rancho Mirage, Sandpoint, and the Watergate. Seems very practical.
John786| 12.4.12 @ 5:45PM
Haji,
I hope you are well. I fear we are not bloggers, more like twitters.
C. Vernon Crisler | 12.4.12 @ 9:31AM
James Bond movies are on my list of things not to do.
Peppermint Tea | 12.4.12 @ 9:52AM
Thanks Ben, I can't wait to see Skyfall. And next time, tell us about the Bond women--who cares about the villian?
By the way, could you post the contact info for the professional mistress who has fallen on hard times? Maybe some of us TAS crowd could help her get back on her feet and working. Charity never faileth ;)
CrackerHound| 12.4.12 @ 10:59AM
The bond woman was a very young, lovely, black woman.
Typical to all Bond movies, she had a quirky name: Eve Pennymoney.
FBX1999| 12.4.12 @ 7:36PM
Moneypenny.
Bob K| 12.4.12 @ 9:56AM
Quote from Ben above:
"There is an awful lot of irrational behavior going on around me and I do some of it too."
Like seeing "Skyfall" six times. Right?
LONE STAR| 12.5.12 @ 1:39AM
Well done, Bob.
MelvinNC| 12.4.12 @ 10:22AM
"Republicans on a Kamikaze mission?" Yea, we're the ones flying the debt laden plane and Bohener and the bunch are on the tarmac waving bye bye, with their hankies.
Boy, it really sucks looking through a locked from the outside canopy with no escape. The tax payers wish we could steer the plane into them.
Bill8472| 12.4.12 @ 10:48AM
It was a good move to make this morning's budget proposal on spending cuts, the one that Obama has rejected. Still, the Republicans will be blamed when we go over the fiscal cliff.
When the income tax burden for everyone (not just the "rich") goes up by 5% or more next year, because of Obama's policies and stances, the Republicans will be blamed for that, too.
Pecos Pete| 12.4.12 @ 10:39AM
Skyfall? James Bond? Not me. I much prefer any of Jackie Chan's many movies.
Pecos Pete| 12.4.12 @ 10:40AM
I'm gonna be in Jackie Chan mode for the next contest.
Occam's Tool| 12.4.12 @ 11:35AM
Jackie is quitting action movies.
Drunken Sailor| 12.4.12 @ 12:42PM
Say it aint so. Then again, he has injured himself so many times it probably hurts to breath. Guess it's re-runs of Drunken Master.
TLP| 12.4.12 @ 3:16PM
He's in his 60's for God Sakes.
Bill8472| 12.4.12 @ 10:45AM
I hate helicopter sounds, both in movies and in real life.
Reminds me of the guy I used to work with long ago, who told me several times that "helicopters can't fly."
Bill8472| 12.4.12 @ 10:52AM
He used to fly those small reconnaissance planes, and when he flew over VC-controlled areas, would throw grenades out. They used to package the grenades in cylindrical containers, and my friend would pull the pins, put the grenades with spoons on back into the containers, where the spoons would remain attached, then, once in flight and in a proper place, would just put the containers out the window and dump the grenades. I don't know how much damage he caused to the VC, but he had fun.
Bill8472| 12.4.12 @ 11:00AM
That habit always seemed mighty risky to me.
NJZ| 12.4.12 @ 12:15PM
Dear Mr. Stein,
I am very concerned as I read your latest American Spectator articles. You are so despondent about your friends, "B" and "A". Also very discouraged by the recent election and political events. I am sad for you. I am worried for you as well.
The political environment and state of our world is troublesome to me. It has been a source of strength, for me, reading your common sense, practical points of view. I always come away with assurance my values and views are not lost and are shared. For this, thank you.
I hope and pray that your recent sorrows will begin to ease. I send you love and joy and my profound respect and admiration.
TLP| 12.4.12 @ 1:36PM
So, the guy that thinks the Federal Government doesn't STEAL enough of OUR MONEY, in Taxes, has a Dear Friend who's a Dirty Crook.
Why am I not surprised?
Personally, I will sleep well, tonight, knowing this Dirtbag is being Raped, as we speak.
Bill8472| 12.4.12 @ 3:50PM
Now THERE'S truly small-minded sentiment.
TLP| 12.4.12 @ 4:26PM
GFYOURSELF.
HOW's that?
Better?
West Houston| 12.4.12 @ 6:48PM
Realizing that you will tell me to perform anatomically impossible acts, as well, I nevertheless will say:
It is not too late to get help for your psychosis!
Occam's Tool| 12.4.12 @ 7:03PM
Cheated people out EIGHT MILLION dollars, this guy did. Gee, Ben, I wonder how you would feel about a guy who fleeced you out of millions.
But Ben is a California attorney, ya know. Very FEW who aren't maggots.
Let's rumble| 12.4.12 @ 1:40PM
Ben is not very witty, and is not welcome bringing his dull delivery of Rino mush. Just what the doctor ordered? I think not. This is a very important time in our country. As for what used to be my party. It's time to seperate the wheat from the chaff. The get along party of managing a smaller behemoth is Ben's cup of tea. My biggest problem is........why is he allowed voice here? Who cares about his dull witless drivel? How many cocktailed out Rockefellars frequent this site? I think Mr. Stien should go away and try to find a niche in pop culture that can't quite brink themselves to drink the cool aid full bore.
Ronsch| 12.4.12 @ 2:06PM
Ben,
Will you still go see Skyfall again when your taxes go up in January?
Oh, that's right...You are on board with NerObama in that people do not pay enough taxes...I almost forgot.
Kingofthenet| 12.4.12 @ 2:55PM
Maybe your good friend should have stopped scamming people out of money.
TLP| 12.4.12 @ 3:18PM
I can't believe I'm saying this about something that Kingofthenuts wrote, but I am.
He's exactly right.
Occam's Tool| 12.4.12 @ 7:26PM
Indeed, King. Say something nice about Jews (not Ben---swing away at him) and we might be able to have a Civil conversation. I won't agree with you, but civil.
Kingofthenet| 12.4.12 @ 3:02PM
Well Ben, IF you plan on 'springing' your friend from jail, just make sure NOT to take one of his planes....they are death traps.
Stormzeye| 12.4.12 @ 4:20PM
Skyfall was truly the worst Bond movie of the three Daniel Craig starred in. He was bored and boring throughout. There's no substitute for good writing (as with Casino Royale) and no amount of explosions and chase scenes can make up for the lack of a story arc. Bardem's character was a cartoonish villain better suited to a Batman movie. A spy thriller should be far more cerebral than this childish send-up.
SUBVET| 12.4.12 @ 6:38PM
Gee......I kind of thought the same...no smoken snakes, no trick gadgets....and to boot the bad guy was a fag......oh well wonder what Sean would say.
Not !! Bond......James Bond.............
Occam's Tool| 12.4.12 @ 7:27PM
Again, I am watching more and more Riff-Trax and less and less Hollyweird.
jbspry| 12.6.12 @ 3:31AM
Was this written by Ben Stein or a superannuated Valley Girl?
jbspry| 12.6.12 @ 3:42AM
I just love hearing hard-nosed, rockribbed, no-nonsense Law'n'Order Conservatives oozingly describe their pals in prison as "fallible people-persons who make mistakes as we all do because we are all God's Children".
Embezzlement and fraud are "mistakes"; stealing a car or selling pot ais "criminal activity".
mzk| 12.9.12 @ 5:04AM
"I was also disturbed yesterday by a text from a friend who said she is cutting out most human contact to spend her time in prayer all day long. Well and good, but how will she support herself? Her modus operandi her whole life has been to be the mistress of wealthy men, including some extremely famous ones. I believe she has little in savings. I wonder how she will provide."
I realize blackmail is less lucrative in these depraved times, but perhaps she should give it a shot.