The American Spectator

“He’s a drunk,” said Jared disparagingly.

“Isn’t that amazing? He knew the Boy Scout oath,” said Tom Brown.

“He’s just a little down on his luck,” said Newman, knowing he was treading a fine line. It was gratifying to find older men who had been Boy Scouts but terrifying to see them as role models. “Alright, you guys, let’s get back to work.”

“Mr. Newman, why don’t we contact other Boy Scout troops and ask them to help?” said Darien.

“Yeah, we’re supposed to get other boys involved, aren’t we?” echoed Skipper.

“That’s a good idea. Why don’t you guys make a video and put it on the web. Maybe we can get some other troops involved.”

“Maybe we can make it into a video game,” said Squirrel boastfully.

“It’d be a lot better than this standing out in the cold,” said Skipper, shivering for exaggeration.

“Now look, I want you guys to get out and meet people,” said Newman. “Life isn’t all video games.”

“Excuse me,” said a well-dressed woman standing next to the table. “Is this some kind of petition for peace?” She was strikingly attractive with nicely arched eyebrows and gold earrings hanging down to her sweater.

“This is about sending the Chinese girls back to China,” said Tom Brown eagerly. “We want the President to say they don’t have to go.”

“Yeah, I have a Chinese girl at my school,” added Squirrel. “She doesn’t want to go,”

“Well, I think President Armageddon is doing a very good job,” said the woman, cautiously fingering the petition. “We don’t want to get the Chinese angry or anything. They’re stronger than us, you know.”

“Yeah, well that doesn’t mean they should just barge into your house and take whatever they want,” said Jared in a tone that made the woman look up sharply.

“Well, we don’t want to fly off the handle, either,” said the woman, taking in Newman for the first time. “Sometimes we have to learn to control our emotions. We don’t want to start a war or anything.”