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Occupied Poetry
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François Hollande and the Arts
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Poets and Capitalism
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Buy the Book
The Point of Criticism
Alternatives to a feel-good but stupefying egalitarianism.
The Fortunes of Permanence: Culture and Anarchy in an Age of
Amnesia
By Roger Kimball
(St. Augustine’s Press, 347 pages, $35)
WILLIAM GIRALDI’S recent thrashing of Alix Ohlin’s first two novels in the New York Times caused more than a small stir in the American literati. Among other things, Giraldi panned Ohlin’s weak plots and “appalling lack of register.” “Mitch’s heart sang,” Giraldi writes, quoting a few choice phrases from Inside, and then Mitch’s “heart sank”; poor Mitch “felt his heart cracking like ice cubes in warm water.” Annie “had touched Grace’s heart” but had also “gotten under her skin.” Grace feels “marooned on her own private island” and then “her nerves were singing.” In just 13 pages you will be asked to endure eyes “fluttering,” then “shining,” then “fluttering” again. Mitch’s girlfriend is “brilliantly smart”—imagine for a second the special brand of languor required to connect those two terms—and also blows her nose “goose-honkingly hard.”
“Every mind,” Giraldi concludes, “lives or dies by its ideas; every book lives or dies by its language.”
While some critics were supportive of Giraldi’s review, he was mostly chastised, not for being wrong, mind you, but for being “mean.” Not too long ago, it was considered not just the critic’s prerogative but his duty to criticize poor writing. Truth and beauty were the standards by which good writing was to be judged, even if critics and writers disagreed about what truth was and what counted as beautiful.
As D.G. Myers has pointed out, such a view has gone the way of so many other ideas, displaced by “a heartfelt relativism which holds that every judgment is a personal preference anyway.” “Literature,” he writes, “needs fewer nice people and more loyalists.”
One of those “loyalists,” not only of literature but of music and art, is Roger Kimball, and his new book, The Fortunes of Permanence: Culture and Anarchy in an Age of Amnesia, contains all the wit and intellect readers of the New Criterion have come to expect.
Like Myers, Kimball sees relativism as the culprit in the West’s cultural decline. The idea that “all cultures are equally valuable and, therefore, that preferring one culture, intellectual heritage, or moral and social order to another is to be guilty of ethnocentrism” is the mantra of our time. It’s an idea that has spoiled rather than refi ned “our powers of discrimination,” and one that in practice is rather unegalitarian: “for,” Kimball writes, “you soon realize that the doctrine of cultural relativism is always a weighted relativism: Preferring Western culture or intellectual heritage is culpable in a way that preferring other traditions is not.”
The corrective, in part, is to put paid to bad ideas and bad art, and Kimball often does exactly that. In “Art in Crisis” and “Why the Art World Is a Disaster,” for example, he skewers the replacement of craft with ideology that has led to the posturing of today’s art world. On a supposedly “subversive” art show at Bard College, Kimball writes: “The ‘arts’ at Bard are notable not because they are unusual but because they are so grindingly ordinary.” And on the idea of “fun” in architecture, he writes: “Fun is nice. I like fun. But fun remains most fun when it keeps to its appropriate place. The ambition to transform all of life into a playground is a prescription for the ruin of fun.
KIMBALL IS THE MASTER of the paragraph. He rarely lands a rhetorical knock-out, but the combined effect of his sentences can do a lot of damage. Consider this from a review of Martha Nussbaum’s book on disgust:
So maybe many of the things that the inherited moral wisdom of millennia have taught us to fi nd disgusting—and to which society has responded with various legal prohibitions—need to be reevaluated? What do you think? Take necrophilia. Professor Nussbaum fi nds this a thorny problem. Who, after all, is harmed in the transaction? Professor Nussbaum wonders “whether necrophilia ought, in fact, to be illegal.” She acknowledges that there is “something unpleasant” about a person who rapes a corpse, but it is “unclear” to her whether such conduct Should be “criminal.” Possibly, since a corpse is generally the property of its family, there should be “some criminal penalties” where “property violations” are involved, but otherwise not.Think about that for a moment…
Or there is this on the status of benevolence in the modern world:
The intoxicating effects of benevolence help to explain the growing appeal of politically correct attitudes about everything from “the environment” to the fate of the Third World. Why does the consistent failure of statist policies not disabuse their advocates of the statist agenda? One reason is that statist policies have the sanction of benevolence. They are “against poverty,” “against war,” “against oppression,” “for the environment.” And why shouldn’t they be? Where else are the pleasures of smug self-righteousness to be had at so little cost?
Kimball never insults our intelligence. The coy rhetorical question here, the ellipses there, invite us to share in his good-natured amusement at our culture’s unfortunately frequent absurdities.
Yet, as Kimball knows, this can sometimes be an easy game to play. More difficult is to point to alternatives to a feel-good but stupefying egalitarianism. This, to my mind, is what sets Kimball apart. In The Fortunes of Permanence, we have wonderful essays on James Burnham, Richard Weaver, Malcolm Muggeridge, and a partial defense of Rudyard Kipling. Whether or not you agree with Kimball’s take on these figures, you always learn something new that is worth pondering.
As the selection above indicates, these essays are as much political as they are cultural. Right or wrong, an occasional charge against the New Criterion under Kimball’s leadership is that it has become too political. For Kimball, however, one cannot easily disentangle “the realms of culture.” “Ultimately,” he writes, “they exist symbiotically, nurturing, supplementing, contending with each other.”
Yet, while they are connected, politics and art do exist separately. Conservatives are skilled at engaging the former, but have unfortunately shown too little interest in the latter. Kimball’s Fortunes of Permanence is a timely reminder that the arts do matter, and that any attempt to regain the best of the Western tradition politically that ignores the arts is only half a victory.
About the Author
Micah Mattix is an assistant professor of literature at Houston Baptist University.
Letter to the Editor View all comments (258) | Leave a comment
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Appleby| 10.24.12 @ 7:22AM
What this gentleman is discussing is what my mother used to call "trash." I have stopped reading modern "literature" for this reason. And don't think that kids can't tell the difference between trash and treasure. When Disney made a cartoon version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, I told my nephews that I would not take them to see it, because it was trash, and I bought them copies of the book on which it was weakly and loosely based. I assured them it had lots of exciting things in it including burning at the stake. They were 8 and 12 when this occurred, and they both read the book. "Wow," said the 12 year old, "why didn't they make a movie out of THIS?" Why, indeed.
Petronius| 10.24.12 @ 10:13AM
Time to reread The Great Roob Revolution by Roger Price, Again.
Bill8472| 10.24.12 @ 1:16PM
It always amazes me when some so-called intellectual comes up with their latest "innovation." Necrophilia has been in the sights of the intellectuals for some time now (have a look at one of the essay in a book a couple of decades old now, called "Apocalypse Culture").
The first objection to necrophilia is that it can't be seen as anything other than an anti-social pathology, about as totally repulsive as these kind of things get.
Secondly, it's an insult, both to the body itself and to the deceased's loved ones.
Third, it's a degeneration of the social responsibilities of the perpetrator.
So yes, if anything is so wretched and repulsive that it is and ought to be a crime, it's necrophilia. You would think a deep thinker intellectual type like Ms. Nussbaum might have figured that out on her own.
But of course, it's not intellectual respectability that such "intellectuals" are looking for, but just another method of shocking the bourgeoisie.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.24.12 @ 9:54PM
Having had some success in some places in the mainstreaming of pederasty and pedophilia (why else would Nancy Pelosi march in Gay Pride parades with NAMBLA supporters), outside of bestiality (Brian Cutteridge, stand up and take a bow), necrophilia really is all that remains for the left to embrace.
Of course, in the spirit of Rodney Dangerfield:" I know all about sex with the dead. I've been married twenty years".
TLP| 10.25.12 @ 5:47PM
We have the most important Election in our Lifetime.
Everything that should be UP is DOWN.
Everything that should be DOWN is UP.
And yet, there are still people that would eat a Bowl full of Obama's Shit if he would just let them Smell His Ass.
This reminds me of the scene in Independence Day.
When the Alien Ships took their positions over the top of Skyscrapers, in NYC, and the people were told to Leave the City? There were groups of Idealistic People flocking to the Roof Tops of the Skyscrapers, holding Welcoming Signs, and filled with Joy.
They danced and sang, and welcomed their Alien Invaders with open arms, right up until their Alien Friends VAPORIZED THEM into Atoms.
Those are the Obama Supporters.
The people in the their Cars, trying like Hell to get outta town, are the rest of us.
I see the first Conan Movie, where Ahrnold Schwartznegger's character was fighting against the Viscion Snake Cult, led by James Earl Jones' Character.
When the Snake Cult Leader confronted Conan - (Romney) - he mocked his Dependence on Steel - His Sword. (Our ideals of American Exeptionalism and Fiscal Responsibility)
The Snake Cult Leader (Obama) looks to a young girl - standing on a Balcony - and beckons her. "Come here, my child. Come to me."
The girl, in a trance, walks forward, off of the Balcnony, and falling to her Death.
The Snake Cult Leader (Obama) looks to Conan (Romney) and says: "What is Steel (Fiscal Responsibilty, and American Exeptionalism) compared to that."
TLP| 10.25.12 @ 6:51PM
That's what we're up against.
We have an Enemy, who is Alien to our way of Life, and a Cult Leader to an Army of Zombies who will do whatever he asks of them.
I see the girl on the Balconey as representing the Blacks in America.
There is no doubt in my mind (and I've said this, already) that if he Campaigned with a Bloody Knife in one hand, and a Severed Head in the other, the Blacks would Vote For Him. Exhibit A - Colin Powell - Who kept his Fat Mouth Shut, while Scooter Libbey was Prosecuted for a "Crime" that General Black Boy KNEW had been committed by HIS BOY - No Neck Dicklicker Armitage - and said NOTHING.
They, and their Self Hating Jew Compadres, and their self Hating White Dupes, will walk through FIRE to get their Snake Cult Leader Re-elected.
This is what we have to work with, this weekend.
I've given you My Movie Analogies.
Where's Yours?
It doesn't have to be a Movie. It can be a T.V. Show. A Book. A Play. (I can't believe you Homos can use a Show Tune on this one) A Play. A Cartoon. Or a Greek Poem. (Or a non Greek poem)
I know how smart you guys are. Every week you blow my mind, with your Entries. So, I know you can do this.
TLP| 10.25.12 @ 7:07PM
The Prizes are as follows: the Winner(s) will recieve Obama's list of the Seinfeld Show Material that he didn't use in the last debate.
He used the "Jerk Store" comment - "The Russians called. They want their Foreign Policy back."
Among the ones he didn't use were: "Let me tell you what my Agenda is for the next 4 years. Yadda, yadda, yadda, that's my Agenda." "I'd tell ya my Agenda, but it's Locked in the Vault." And - "Mitt Romney is so outta touch, he's like a Bubble Boy."
The Loser(s) will recieve will be recieving the Corks from all of the $1,800 Bottles of Champagne, that Obama shared with Jay Z, when they were Celebrating the Rape, and Murder, of the 1st U.S. Ambassador since 1979, as well as the words to all of the Rap Drinking Songs, they were singing that night.
Good Luck, and be safe out there.
Vagina.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 8:11AM
I'm in. I like the Seinfeld reference (Mendelbaum, Mendelbaum, Mendelbaum).
For my first entry today I wish to blend the genres of both TV and film. As TLP notes, many are familiar with “Seinfeld”, the show about nothing. Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine lived a life of terminal post-adolescence in which there was limited meaning, though each episode is reported to have at least referenced the Superman comic, movies or TV series.
During Season 8, in Episode 3 (entitled “The Bizarro Jerry”), Elaine has been dating Kevin, and is introduced into his circle of friends. She discovers that their lives are exactly the opposite of her vacuous existence. Kevin’s friends help other people, read (as opposed to mindless TV viewing), and are well mannered. Upon learning of this, Jerry makes mention of the phenomenon in Superman known as “Bizarro World”, where in the alternate universe all roles and characteristics are reversed. During an encounter on the street, both groups of opposites meet up, and Elaine has to choose between her meaningless present and a meaningful future.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 8:11AM
Press pause on the TV for a moment, and hit play on the DVD player for “The Untouchables”, the 1987 Brian De Palma version with Kevin Costner and Sean Connery. Costner plays Eliot Ness, the idealistic but naïve federal Prohibition agent sent to Chicago to deal with the chaos wrought there by the organized crime syndicate headed by Al Capone (played by Robert De Niro). Ness is assisted in this highly corrupt environment by Malone (Connery), the tough but honest wise Irish cop on the beat. His battle is also aided by nerdy accountant Wallace (Charles Martin Smith, also remembered as Terry the Toad in American Graffiti) and Chicago paisan George Stone/ Giuseppe Petri.
Noted dialogue from the film includes Malone’s articulation of The Chicago Way “You wanna know how to get Capone? They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue!”
The team battles the charming but highly violent sociopath Capone on the streets and roads with guns and knives, as well as with wits in the courtroom. There is much blood spilled as the teams eventually triumphs over the evil represented by Capone, as they send him and all his corruption packing to Alcatraz, and the rule of law is restored to Chicago.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 8:13AM
While this is obviously a work of fiction on so many levels, imagine for a moment that “Bizarro Untouchables” is the exact opposite. Barack Obama is Ness, the cynical Alinskyite, determined to destroy his jurisdiction from within. He is aided by the old, cranky, dopey Irishman Biden, the nerdy lawyer Jarrett, and Chicago landsman Rahm Emmanuel.
Unpause the TV and go back to Seinfeld, except imagine that instead of the sitcom cast and their opposite numbers, Elaine is forced to choose between the cast of the original Untouchables (idealist Romney, nerdy accountant Ryan, etc.) or the Bizarro Untouchables with Obama.
Elaine is the metaphor for the electorate, and must choose between a potentially meaningful future, and the destructive continuation of the present.
There endeth the entry.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 8:32AM
That is a Hilarious Episode, that never gets shown.
Nice call.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 8:35AM
An Unbelievably Great Start to THE GREATEST CONTEST EVER.
Albert connects, right outta the Gate!
mike 3/505| 10.27.12 @ 12:32PM
I wrote that!
BHO, standing in for mike 3/505
KennesawJack| 10.26.12 @ 9:01AM
Good stuff, Al. I'm only gonna have one entry this week because the need for productive (as in income producing) activity is called for today. Still working on it but it will speak to TLP's point of blind obedience and subservience to Obamarx on the part of his minions. I'm bringin' my friend Rudy to the Contest, Tim. He's new here so take it easy on him.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 9:16AM
I promise to be gentle.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 9:35AM
I promise that Albert'll be gentle.
John Navratil| 10.26.12 @ 10:15AM
TLP,
I'm in. Obama is Kaa, singing "Trust in me" while an entranced Mowgli (our electorate) is wrapped ever tighter in his coils. Bagheera (the Tea Party) intervenes to save the unappreciative Mowgli. Mowgli is initially entrusted to Baloo (the Republican Party) to get him safely out of danger whereupon Mowgli is immediately kidnapped by King Louie (Harry Reid) who wants more power for himself and is prepared for complete destruction to advance himself. Shere Kahn (Soros - international Socialism) arrives with the intent of eating Mowgli, who is the only animal in the jungle he fears as an independant adulthood. Shere Kahn is chased off by fire brandished by the "awakened" electorate. As in real life, Shere Khan is not killed and remains a threat.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 11:04AM
♪♫♭It’s just the Bare Necessities, the Simple Bare Necessities…♫♭♪
Now that you've brought up Jungle Book, and I've brought up "Bare Necessities", this is an excellent lead in for a "Breasts" remark from TLP.
John Navratil| 10.26.12 @ 11:31AM
TLP would never... ;)
To continue the analogy...
Bagheera: "A disgraceful performance! Associating with those undesirable scatterbrain apes? I hope Mowgli learned something from that experience."
John Navratil| 10.26.12 @ 11:42AM
Hey, TLP!
If you would put up some real prizes, like a recipe for homemade soap, advice on how much alum to put in your dill pickles, or how to get rid of that pesky itch, you could attract Purp or Jack London to your contests as well. What do you say?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 11:48AM
All of the above topics are useful lessons for people involved in productive, self-sufficient activities, and therefore would never attract the audience you identify.
John Navratil| 10.26.12 @ 12:35PM
Albert Constantine Jr.,
Touché.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 4:36PM
I'm sending my Dirty Socks, and a Recipe for Dirty Sock Soup to you, as we speak.
Enjoy.
You've earned it.
SUBVET| 10.26.12 @ 12:45PM
Tim.......a little bad news...last week I passed a homeless person and he had no shit. He stoped me and asked for some $$$ I felt sorry for him and reached into my pocket and handed him a few bucks.
He noticed the waterboarding shit I was wearing and asked instead of the $$ would I please give him my shirt. Now being the good christian I am I felt sorry for him and said OK.
Yesterday went back to where I lost my shirt and low and behold there was Mr. HOMELESS selling reproductions of the shit I gave him.
Tim .....I think you just created more jobs than the jigaboo.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 3:23PM
I hope your kidding.
Abdullah| 10.26.12 @ 3:20PM
Kavorka is Latvian for the animal lure
Glove of garlic and vinegar would help to cure
Find me a recipe, quick, quick
Vaginal voters, your idol is dick.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 3:24PM
Now THAT'S a Poem!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 3:29PM
A combination Seinfeld reference/poem for a very original entry.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 7:04PM
Indeed.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 9:37AM
The Contest will run until 7pm SATURDAY.
That is all.
gene| 10.26.12 @ 10:35AM
Remember "Gary Seven" Robert Lansing in "Star Trek?
Humans born and bred off world by aliens and reintroduced into our society. Except that in our scenario, they are not being introduced into our society to help it along but to cause it to self destruct. And the only hints we have are fraudulent "birth certificates" and birth location conflicts.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 3:26PM
That was great.
I'll never understand why Albert hates you.
I just don't get it.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 3:34PM
I didn't say I hate Gene. I said I hate the way Obama looks in his mom jeans (too many decibels from the Briggs & Stratton motors has eroded some of Tim's hearing).
gene| 10.26.12 @ 4:04PM
He's just mad because I outed Gary Eight and possibly endangered the whole mission.
gene| 10.26.12 @ 4:07PM
He may also be aware of the fact that I am lazy about paperwork and stopped sending reports on human culture to the mother ship decades ago. I just cut and paste "Weird News of the Week" and no one noticed the difference.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 4:38PM
Actually, I'm thinking that you just "Outed" yourself.
gene| 10.26.12 @ 4:45PM
Yeah, so what? Gary Seven was a wimp. And this mission was a wash out from the get go. Plus I am in no hurry to relocate. You cannot get any decent beer off-world. I think it is the Earth Yeast. 0:-D
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 7:08PM
I once had a bad reaction to Yeast, myself.
Oh, wait.
That was a Yeast Infection.
Never mind.
SUBVET| 10.26.12 @ 6:10PM
I think Tim uses extension cords.
gene| 10.26.12 @ 10:47AM
Update Report from "Gary Eight"
1. I killed off that "Bleedin Heart" sob sister - Gary Seven.
2. For an entire Earth generation we abducted humans, collected DNA, RNA, Human Ova, Human Sperm.
3. We have bred, raised, educated, indoctrinated, and re-introduced trained humans into Earth society.
4. There were a few suspicions involving faked birth certificates and conflicts with birth locations, but otherwise everyone is none the wiser.
5. The Earth's Western Hemisphere is headed for an Economic Cliff and total chaos. It has already started in parts of Europe.
6. This whole program is cheaper and more efficient than an invasion. With very little assistance, these Homo-Sapiens that are currently running this planet will destroy themselves and we can walk in and take over.
7. AND THEY will WELCOME us with open arms and beg us to take over.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 11:07AM
...and we would have succeeded, if it weren't for you pesky, meddling conservatives (we hope)...
gene| 10.26.12 @ 11:44AM
You think we have not covered the Conservative side also? You honestly think that someone like Ann Coulter was born and bred on this planet? Such naivete! 0:-D
Agent J: "You do know Elvis is dead right?"
Agent K: "No, Elvis is not dead, he just went home.":
KennesawJack| 10.26.12 @ 11:22AM
It would seem that John and Al also invited my friend Rudy to the Contest. Whether this is simply serendipitous or a conspiracy, I will leave to Tim to decide. That being said, I borrowed from Rudy his motivational, and instructive, missive to his son and, exercsing a bit of poetic license, have adapted it to the current masses of little Obamabots. Sorry, Tim, I just don't do movies - although my reference last week to the lovely Ms. Lovelace doing her thing does conjur up images of Tingles and Obamarx- so herewith, another POEM!
“IF” (with sincere apologies to Mr. Kipling)
If you can lay around all day while other people strive
to make ends meet, buy food to eat, just to stay alive.
If you can get, from their blood and sweat, all that you desire
for a leisurely life, free from strife, why should you aspire
to gainful work when you can shirk, and wile away the day.
For without a voice, folks have no choice, they simply pay and pay.
If you can own an Obamaphone, and never pay a cent,
if you can dwell ,where you want as well, and strangers pay the rent.
It’s what your due, for the years that you, suffered ‘neath the yolk
of animosity and bigotry, from those greedy business folk.
It’s a simple thing to get more bling. Just increase your take.
Have a kid or two, and you’ll find that you, get rich, the more you make.
KennesawJack| 10.26.12 @ 11:23AM
You can have your crack, and just lay back, enjoy the life you‘ve got.
When the crack runs out, I have no doubt; you’ll still have a stash of pot.
You’ll have the same, once you learn the game, lifestyle of the rich.
With your fare share of the Man’s welfare, (and every bit of which
is paid for by that dumb-ass guy who busts his ass all day).
For without a voice, folks have no choice, they simply pay and pay.
Should you, though, attempt to go, into the politics game.
Simply promise all, to those who crawl, and grovel at your name.
If you can lie, and then deny, before the faithful throng,
folks will smile, and all the while, believe they heard you wrong.
They’ll vote for you, like they always do, and soon you’ll find you’ve won.
Then you will be, for all to see, a Democrat, my son.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 11:27AM
Again, as the proper response to brilliance in a public poetry reading is the snapping of the fingers:
SNAP, SNAP, SNAP,SNAP, SNAP, SNAP, SNAP,SNAP
KennesawJack| 10.26.12 @ 11:53AM
Thanks, Al. But,as they used to say in Vaudeville, "Please, don't applaud. Throw money!" (This is Obamarx's economy, after all.)
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 3:29PM
Since I'm sure that he has No Money.
Maybe he can just THROW Ginger Snaps, Snaps, Snaps.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 3:30PM
Do you Colour your Hair, Jack?
I'm just sayin.
KennesawJack| 10.26.12 @ 3:35PM
If I had some, I might.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 4:40PM
Do you Colour your Scalp, then?
I did think that your Poem was Impressive.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 4:42PM
Sponge Worthy, even.
CJW| 10.26.12 @ 5:04PM
Excellent. This is one smart band of conservatives.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 7:10PM
Finally.
I hope that's not your Entry.
Pecos Pete| 10.26.12 @ 7:47PM
Jack: Well done! Much, much better than Albert and Tim.
TLP| 10.27.12 @ 8:54AM
Where have you been?
I can't believe that you can hold a job, or have an Friends.
Are you all right!
Do you need any Medicine?
Kwan| 10.26.12 @ 11:32AM
The Movie: The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
During the Korean War the Soviets capture an Army platoon and take them to a hospital in Manchuria, where they are brain-washed under the direction of the Communist Chinese agent Dr. Yen Lo. One of the soldiers -Raymond Shaw- has been turned into a Soviet assassin who once he sees a queen of diamonds playing card, will follow any instructions given him, including murder.
Analogy: Obama and the Democrat-Communist Party are Dr. Yen Lo, brainwashing millions of useful idiots with the promise of hope and change. The Raymond Shaw character represents the useful idiot voters for Obama, that become mesmerized when told about -instead of being shown a queen of diamonds playing card- all dat dere Gub-a-mint cheese deys gonna get when dey vote for Obama. As a result they become the assassins of America's freedoms, prosperity, and future.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 11:46AM
Excellent fruit salad from the low hanging selection of the oft-mentioned "Manchurian Candidate" ( though instead of the taxpayer's Velveeta, I would have used as the code " OBAMAPHONE").
gene| 10.26.12 @ 11:52AM
I think someone has already brainwashed Chris Matthews and the catalyst code word is"Obama". Watch what happens every time he hears that name.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 12:33PM
Perhaps the "thrill running up his leg" is the neurological response that they induced.
gene| 10.26.12 @ 1:20PM
It also seems connected to a pathological impulse to equate almost any anglo word with Racism.
Kwan| 10.26.12 @ 12:53PM
Matthews revealed to the American people what it takes to be a commentator on MSNBC, when he had that "Brokeback Mountain" leg tingling experience in reaction to a Barack Obama speech.
CJW| 10.26.12 @ 5:05PM
You need a brain before it can be washed.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 7:12PM
Again.
I hope that's not your Entry.
CJW| 10.26.12 @ 7:21PM
There are two entries at the end of this.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 3:33PM
Once again, the Mysterious Mr. Kwan makes his Precence felt on Friday.
Well done, Mr. Kwan.
Rhoetus| 10.29.12 @ 12:19AM
Barack H Obama is literally Raymond Shaw and Frank Marshall Davis is literally Dr. Yen Lo.
John II| 10.26.12 @ 1:11PM
Sorry, Timmy, but I've got the Show Tune bug--and I owe this idea to Al, so it's not all my fault. So, then: Back to WEST SIDE STORY (1961), this time to the tune of "America!"
SCENE: Crowd of "99%" protestors milling in front of City Hall, among them a prominent figure with manic grin in Joker costume waving "Bite Me" placard. Joker moves forward, crowd gathers behind him and breaks into song:
We love Obama's America!
Noonday pajamas in America!
Socialist whores in America!
Closing all doors in America!
[MUSIC AND DANCE ]
Free condoms and pills in America!
Abortion for thrills in America!
Nothing but Green in America!
Chicago machine for America!
No oil, no gas for America!
Free pieces of ass in America!
Free medicine too in America!
Everybody now blue in America!
[MUSIC AND DANCE]
John II| 10.26.12 @ 1:11PM
Tax only the rich in America!
Everyone bitch in America!
More government doles in America!
More media trolls in America!
[MUSIC IN CRESCENDO TO FINALE]
No need to work in America!
Everybody a jerk in America!
Free medicine too in America!
One-party rule in A-mer-EEE-ka!
[Joker steps forward, leers into camera, glances back at crowd, addresses camera . . .]
Lemmings galore in America.
Freedom's a bore in America.
[Glances back again, looks into camera confidentially, whispers . . .]
Pretty soon . . . no more America!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 1:24PM
Ay, caramba. Could the next installment be the John II version of "There's a Place for Us"?
KennesawJack| 10.26.12 @ 1:56PM
The game is really getting elevated. Just sayin'.
John II| 10.26.12 @ 2:04PM
Okay, an Obamanista song to the tune of "Somewhere":
There's a place for us,
It may be under the bus.
Noise and racket and Obama's blare
Wait for us
Somewhere.
There's a time for us,
Someday they'll do time for us,
Arrested at last for all they say
Against the One, the only Way
Someday!
Somewhere.
We'll find a new way of making
The wealth of others for the taking
Somewhere.
There's a nuthouse for us,
A timely asylum for us.
Hold my hand and take me there,
Anywhere, I don't care,
Somehow,
Someday,
Somewhere!
Well, you asked . . .
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 2:14PM
Ohhh BAAA MAAA-
I just got a thrill from Ohh BAAA MAAA
(Here's your Chris Matthews love song, fill in the rest, if you haven't already composed one).
John II| 10.26.12 @ 2:20PM
Oh. I already did that one, for last week's contest. Besides, if I recomposed the lyrics to fit Matthews, I could get arrested.
Or even worse from my wife. She has this way of looking over my shoulder when I'm composing, then looking at me for a moment, then shaking her head and leaving the room muttering, "Boys will be boys."
KennesawJack| 10.26.12 @ 2:27PM
You, too, huh?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 3:05PM
The Officer Krupke version was so stellar it slipped my mind that you did the second entry as well. I'll have to consult an old "West Side Story" program to see what other numbers may await.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 3:36PM
Obviously, John II's Ballerina Shoes are firmly ensconsed on his feet, today.
Was there ever any Doubt?
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 4:48PM
I smell Seinfeld Material.
Pecos Pete| 10.26.12 @ 7:51PM
John: Ignore Tim, well, at your risk most of the time. You done real good!
Rhoetus| 10.29.12 @ 12:21AM
John II: Sad but almost true.
Alan's Girl| 10.26.12 @ 1:52PM
Even tho' I'm conservative in my heart of hearts,
There's no way to compete with guys so smart.
So I'll not try
I'll just let it go by
And sit right here on my lady parts.
Thanks for sharing your wit & wisdom. I thoroughly enjoyed your contest. Will check in from time to time.
KennesawJack| 10.26.12 @ 1:58PM
I don't know, but this could be THE winner. The last line would warm the cockles of any conservative's heart. (Don't be playin' on the words, Timmy.)
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 3:37PM
How many "Cockles" do you have?
KennesawJack| 10.26.12 @ 3:52PM
Couldn't resist, could you?
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 4:49PM
Now that you mention it?
No, I could not.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 2:12PM
I can't speak for the Judges, but I concur that this will be TLP's favorite entry (and try to resist the temptation to play word games with favorite entry, Tim).
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 4:50PM
I think you need to talk to Navritil about that one.
For obvious reasons.
John Navratil| 10.26.12 @ 5:34PM
Tits and legs abound
in T.L.P.'s fevered posts.
Why, I do not know ;)
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 7:15PM
Hence the Navritil.
Never more.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 7:14PM
Have you ever considered Talking Dirty?
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 7:16PM
It couldn't hurt.
I'm just sayin.
Jacob McCandles| 10.26.12 @ 2:20PM
A HAIKU:
Behold; a wasteland
Hope and Change have gone away
Mittens soon to come
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 3:10PM
Iambic pentameter, Limericks, and Haiku-the poetic forms from all of the large islands are being demonstrated. Owing to Obama's purported origin from Hawaii, perhaps someone will do a Don Ho ukelele tune parody.
I clasp my hands together and lean forward in a classic Japanese bow in your direction, Mr. McCandles.
John Navratil| 10.26.12 @ 3:46PM
Tiny `Bama
plays the game.
Where is 'W'
I need him to blame
Tiny 'Bama
only whines
Let Hawaii
Keep him this time.
Here's to his golden rooms.
Here's to his silver tongue.
But mostly here's a toast,
that he is gone.
KennesawJack| 10.26.12 @ 3:53PM
Hell of a talented group, if I do say so myself.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 4:59PM
This is turning into a Beatnik Bar.
John Navratil| 10.26.12 @ 5:21PM
Dig it, Daddy-O!
CJW| 10.26.12 @ 7:41PM
Remember Maynard G Krebs on Dobie Gillis?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 9:01PM
Worrrk? wooorkk?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.27.12 @ 9:03AM
I pop a cork from the champagne to toast your rising to the challenge, and challenging your inner Don Ho.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.27.12 @ 9:04AM
...should have been channeling your inner Don Ho, but then I appear to be challenged this morning...
Jacob McCandles| 10.26.12 @ 5:04PM
I appreciate the formal Bow ACj. Arigato. I tried to stay true to the origional ancient art form of the Haiku.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 5:00PM
A Haiku, Jacob?
I'm thinking that Haiku means Lazy, in Japanese.
Jacob McCandles| 10.26.12 @ 5:10PM
Could have been longer, but then it wouldn't be a Haiku. That's the beauty of the Haiku.
John Navratil| 10.26.12 @ 5:28PM
T.L.P. don't know
Haiku must be seventeen
parts. Five, seven, five.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 7:18PM
Sounds more like mike 3/505's Mixed Drink.
mike 3/505| 10.27.12 @ 11:52AM
Ahhhh draynks strayut Skotch Suh! Non of that Air Scouts mixed stuff.
Abdullah| 10.26.12 @ 3:26PM
Kavorka is Latvian for the animal lure
Glove of garlic and vinegar would help to cure
Find me a recipe, quick, quick
Vaginal voters, your idol is dick.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 3:31PM
An excellent way to get the attention of the judges is to enter twice. As I noted above, your combination Seinfeld reference/ poem is a very original entry.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 3:39PM
Where is everybody?
Abdullah| 10.26.12 @ 3:38PM
Sorry Albert, it was not my intention. I just realized I put it in a wrong spot first.
mike 3/505| 10.26.12 @ 4:33PM
Besides...it won't work. The only way to really influence the judge...is to bribe him. Not, he has yet to give any mention to my entry today.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 5:01PM
WHAT ENTRY?
mike 3/505| 10.26.12 @ 5:11PM
And you talk about MY drinking problem. Good grief. Can the rest of Y'all please point my entry out to Mr Penell?
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 7:19PM
Please do.
Stkman| 10.26.12 @ 4:39PM
There was was a liar named Obama,
Who was born of a whorish momma.
She said come take me,
To the black man I'm free.
Soon the bastard she raised,
Would hear nothing but praise.
Raised as a commie,
With the help of Grandmommy,
False papers he had,
Democrats were glad.
For now they had,
Their villanous cad.
Obama the destroyer,
The big government employer.
Obama the dictator wanna be,
who shows no one his collefe degree.
Obama from Conneticutt,
Yet never been to Conneticutt.
Obama, Obama,
It's time for you to go.
Obama, Obama,
Please move quickly and not be slow.
Obama, Obama,
You're much like the flea,
That dies at the hand of TLP.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 5:03PM
Uh oh.
A great poem, AND a shout out to the Boss?
That's gonna be hard to beat.
I'm just sayin.
mike 3/505| 10.26.12 @ 6:16PM
Mine is better.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 7:20PM
Where is it?
I've gone through all of these 50 times, and I still can't find it!
CJW| 10.26.12 @ 7:58PM
He is very clever. There is no entry but the no entry is an entry to remind us that obama has no economic plan and no idea what he is doing. Got it?
mike 3/505| 10.26.12 @ 10:06PM
BINGO!
My entry today should have been obvious to all an sundry. I stole an idea from Clint Eastwood. I am President Obama participating in Pennell's contest. My entry is 3 parts:
1) The empty chair...no contribution from me at all.
2) Claim credit for others' work. Whoever wins, I will claim credit for his/her idea and execution thereof.
3) for those of you who promulgated a less than stellar entry, I will disavow any and all knowledge & blame the SECSTATE & CIA for not informing me.
mike 3/505| 10.26.12 @ 10:16PM
And if none of that pleases you, my usual backup....
B e a c h S c e..........
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 10:23PM
Along with CJW's entry above, my 956 pm entry below touched on the theme of your entry, but your tactical genius has again revealed itself.
This is why they want to frame his photo at the US Army Barracks in Carlisle,PA; where the field grade and general grade officers study their profession at the Army War College.
mike 3/505| 10.26.12 @ 10:31PM
You notice I set the hook before your entry right? Heheheheheh. Fitting actually....today is the anniversary of Sir Bernard Law Montgomery's a$$ whipping on Field Marshal Erwin Rommel's Afrika Corps...he was sneaky too!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 9:48PM
As Johnny Tillotson once sang: "Poetry in Motion".
Your ability to expand beyond the New or Old Testament shows you are truly blessed.
Jacob McCandles| 10.26.12 @ 4:49PM
Charles in Charge: Episode 1. Season 1. October 3, 1984
Scott Baio's masterful introduction of Charles in this pilot episode. Charles is a nineteen year old college student who is short on cash, and takes a live-in babysitting job with the Pembroke family. Everything is going great, until Charles arranges a date with his dream girl, Gwendolyn, then finds out he has to babysit the children at the same time! Just about this time, Buddy Lembeck (Willie Aimes) jumps in to rescue the situation. The Pembroke children, Lila, Douglas, and Jason, have other plans. They require constant attention, and every time Charles tries to make a move on Gwendolyn, the needs of the kids get in the way. Buddy Lembeck, although a great friend, isn't much help with his low IQ and tendancy to always say the exact wrong thing at the exact wrong time. The babysitting is a disaster, and the date is a disaster. Does Charles learn his lesson? One would think so, but alas he finds himself in similar situations throughout the entire first season.
Jacob McCandles| 10.26.12 @ 4:53PM
The similarities between this episode and the Obama presidency are eerie to say the least. It's almost as if the writers saw this disaster in the making and tried to send us a cryptic message via Scott Baio. The relationship between Charles (BHO) and Buddy is a prime example. Buddy (Biden) means well, but is painfully deficient in the intelligence dept. Unfortunately, this does not stop him from constantly saying the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time.
Jacob McCandles| 10.26.12 @ 4:57PM
Despite this happening constantly, Charles continues to put up with Buddy. Obviously, the care of the children represent our economy and national interests. Charles almost seems unaware that the care of the Pembroke kids is his primary responsibility. Does Gwendolyn represent the president's golf game? His love of celebrity parties, Talk shows? Campaigning? Probably all of the above. Charles in Charge went on to syndication and lasted 9 years. We can only pray this is not our own fate with BHO.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 5:05PM
Charles In Charge?
You Sir, are a Genius.
CJW| 10.26.12 @ 5:08PM
Scott Baio is also a conservative.
KennesawJack| 10.26.12 @ 5:15PM
Ok. I give up. Who the hell is Charles in Charge?
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 7:21PM
You don't wanna know.
Believe me.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 7:23PM
Is he even still alive?
CJW| 10.26.12 @ 7:39PM
Baio is alive and a conervative. He did a movie in Pgh about 5/6 years ago that was a local hit, about an Italian baker.
Jacob McCandles| 10.26.12 @ 7:43PM
Scott Baio is an American treasure. Who can doesn't love Arthur Fonzerelli's nephew Chachi? Seriously, Scott Baio is also a very talented singer, songwriter, and musician. Listen to this entire song if you don't believe me.
http://www.celebritynetworth.c.....ow-do-you/
Bob Grant| 10.26.12 @ 8:04PM
We truly are living in Alice In Wonderland.
Who could conjure in their wildest dreams a long discussion about Charles in Charge in an allegedly serious, respected, conservative website.
BTW Mr. McCandles,
If you think going this route will get you points, don't hold your breath.
My Porky's Revenge entry last week got me squat, zero, natta!!!
Maybe this week the judges are in a better mood.
Good luck nonetheless.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 9:25PM
Before anyone closes out the this thought on Charles in Charge, check out Paul Kengor's article on Homelessness, which mentions Erin Moran (Joanie to Baio's Joanie Loves Chachi).
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 9:44PM
While I speak for no one but myself, as Porky's Revenge involved nearly everyone in the film getting laid, you need to make your caase as to why it meets the requirements of the contest.
TLP| 10.27.12 @ 7:15PM
That's not true, Bob.
Your Porky's was one of the Winners, ya Drunk.
Bob Grant| 10.27.12 @ 9:43AM
Based on the theme song to Charles In Charles, I will submit one could not find a better analogy that suits the obama regime:
New boy in the neighborhood
Lives downstairs and it is understood.
He’s there just to take good care of me,
Like he’s one of the family.
Charles in Charge
Of our days and our nights
Charles in Charge
Of our wrongs and our rights
And I sing, I want,
I want Charge in Charge of me.
Charles in Charge
Of our days and our nights
Charles in Charge
Of our wrongs and our rights
And I sing, I want,
I want Charge in Charge of me.
McCandles is a genius.
We have a winner here!!!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.27.12 @ 9:59AM
Scary how those TV theme song lyricists could predict the future so uncannily accurately.
TLP| 10.27.12 @ 7:16PM
You are wise, Mr. Grant.
Jacob McCandles| 10.27.12 @ 9:34PM
Well Played Mr. Grant, well played.
gene| 10.26.12 @ 5:11PM
Buddy (Biden). How accurate and observant.
Biden was just insurance to ensure that there would be no Impeachments. President Biden?
The mind reels in horror!
Bob Grant| 10.27.12 @ 10:00AM
gene,
No question Biden stayed on because he was impeachment insurance.
Put another way, Biden serves as obama's Kevlar, if ya know what I mean.
TLP| 10.27.12 @ 7:18PM
No Politics.
It's Friday.
I'm deducting a point from each of you.
CJW| 10.26.12 @ 5:34PM
Movie: On the Waterfront. Best movie ever.
Johny Friendly: The union thug, played by Lee J Cobb, and his gang of lackeys is Barack and his gang of czars, Baghdad JayCarney, Mrs Bubba, LaughingBoy Biden. They control the docks and have ruined the economy for the workers except those who are meek and go along and kick back money to Johnny Friendly.
Terry Malloy: played by Marlon Brando. He first goes along (Rino Reps) then gets angry (Tea Party) and then beats up (Mitt Romney and Pual Ryan) Johnny Friendly.
Final scene. After Malloy (Mitt) beats up Johnny (obama), the longshoremen ignore Johny Friendly, go to work, the economy is restored. Terry Malloy has the beautiful Eva Marie Saint (Mitt and Ann).
CJW| 10.26.12 @ 6:11PM
Second entry.
More on the Seinfeld theme.
Episode where George attends a birthday party for his girlfriend's son. A fire breaks out, George pushes the little kids out of the way, and runs outside to save himself, thinking only of himself.
George exemplifies Obama's handling of the Benghazi attack. He ignored the safety of the Americans, left them to die without help, and ran off to Vegas for fundraising.
At least George admitted he was a sorry excuse, but Obama sends Panetta and Dempsey to make excuses and lie.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 7:24PM
Excellent.
Both of them.
Better late than never, eh?
CJW| 10.26.12 @ 7:37PM
thanks.
It is disgusting to see Obama on tv laughing and joking, doing comedy shows, and acting as if Benghazi did not happen. He does not care at all that four Americans were killed and our embassy and consulate attacked, which is the same as US
being attacked.
mike 3/505| 10.27.12 @ 10:33AM
They were both my idea.
CJW| 10.27.12 @ 11:30AM
Thanks, Mike, I could not have done it without you.
mike 3/505| 10.27.12 @ 11:41AM
For purposes of this discussion, you must refer to me as "Mr President. " After all, it is he, who I am impersonating in this week's contest.
Forward!
mike 3/505| 10.27.12 @ 11:55AM
Also, it has become apparent that you are "more fortunate" than most in your talent. I am going to have to ask you to "contribute a little bit more." When can I expect your next entry, that I will of course, take credit for. After all..."you didn't write that."
TLP| 10.27.12 @ 7:20PM
Ignore him.
For God sakes, ignore him.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 9:41PM
CJW:
I love the image from "On the Waterfront". We know Obama could never admit "I guess its just not my night", though I think its what we all hope for on 110612.
From the Seinfeld perspective, in addition to the "Fire" episode you reference, I think the administration wants us eating the pastry from the trash can, given their expansion of the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program.
TLP| 10.26.12 @ 7:26PM
Joellen?
Joellen| 10.27.12 @ 9:23AM
Ok I am here. "War of the World" by H. G. Wells. The invasion of aliens/liberal,etc. It centers on a small town, at first, the idealic America. An unidentified object/liberal agenda enters and America at first is unconcerned. Oh they put three men out to keep watch, but the rest of America goes about their daily lives. While doing what Americans do best, live in freeedom, the aliens set out to completely destroy and take over. Eventually, the attack comes in full force and America, woken up, must defend not only herself, but the world; because America, still, has the greatest military and even with all its faults, still has the moral turpitude to do so. Scientist, Gene Barry and his team/Tea Party, Constitutional Conservatives are working hard to find ways to destroy the enemy; however they are attacked by thugs/Unions/Occupiers over Wall Street, and all their good work and possible ways of saving America and the world has been destroyed. The thugs knowing that they are about to be destroyed by the aliens along with the rest of the world, still cant get enough of inflicting their own destruction/fiscal collapse, chaos/anarchy.
Joellen| 10.27.12 @ 9:28AM
Good Patriotic Americans do what they can, they help, aide and bring as much of America as they can to safety. They go to the mountains/places of worship and they do what they know must be done, they pray to the HIGHEST AUTHORITYand plead for HIS protection. At the last moment, when the Church/America is about to be destroyed, salvation happens. Not by the arrogance of man, but by the power of GOD. America, once again, has a chance to be a beacon for the world. However, we must always be vigilant because the aliens/liberals, are always out there waiting for their chance to take over the world. So, it is "NEVER THE END".
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.27.12 @ 10:13AM
You're never late to the party when you show up with God on your side.
John II| 10.27.12 @ 1:38PM
Well, Timmy says I can't be a judge, but I don't have any papers to grade this weekend, so all I'm doing here is staying limber by commenting on Joellen's entry. . . .
Excellent entry, Joellen! You chose the superior George Pal 1953 version of "War of the Worlds." The 2005 Spielberg remake has superior special effects but, typically, inferior dialogue and plotting--a characteristic foray into postmodern angst and disordered family life. (The late great Brit political philosopher Michael Oakeshott characterized our era as a time in which technique has trumped reason--and today's movie makers just can't help illustrating his point again and again. Where was I?)
Oh yeah--"War of the Worlds." There are many great lines in that flick, all germane to the present crisis of the Obamanation. If I may post an addendum to your superior entry . . .
John II| 10.27.12 @ 1:38PM
After the earthlings try a final desperate assault on the Martians by dropping an atom bomb from a Flying Wing, the Martian machines, protected by a blister of electronic shielding, float nonchalantly out of the nuclear cloud ("It didn't even TOUCH them!").
Dr. Clayton Forrester (Gene Barry) takes off his goggles and looks at his team of intrepid researchers: "We know now that we can't stop the Martian machines. . . . So we have to stop THEM."
"You mean, by some biological approach . . .?"
"Yes."
Damn. They don't make movies like that anymore. Of course, the Martian machines represent the impervious Lefty culture, and the "biological approach" is a trope for the power of God's natural law and its inspiration of right thinking and good living relentlessly chipping away at the depredations of the Obamanation.
By the way, the Pegasus hobbies company has come out with terrific models of the Martian war machines (both the 1953 and the 2005 versions). Naturally, I myself am much too old for such childish toys--but I have lots of grandsons, so I have to buy and test the models to make sure they make appropriate gifts.
Joellen| 10.27.12 @ 3:50PM
Thanks John, and you're right they dont make movies like that anymore - that's one of the reason why I havent put a penny into Hollyweird in a very long time. You are also right on the difference between the two versions. The classic showed the American family to be united (the Uncle and the niece); the men strong, rugged and determined; and still faithful, remember the Church scenes where families were praying together. Also, one point that is necessary, although the Uncle (Priest) had good intentions trying to reason with the aliens, he couldnt and was savagely destroyed. Hmm sound familiar.
TLP| 10.27.12 @ 7:23PM
I would be careful with that one - John II - if I was you, Joellen.
Very Careful.
John II| 10.27.12 @ 11:55PM
Pay no attention to Timmy, Joellen. He thinks I'm some kind of religious nut case that the people he hates have been warning him about since he was a freshman in high school.
And yet . . . he also knows those people were full of skata. (That's Greek for . . . never mind.)
Timmy is a conflicted dude, but mostly okay. You and me are pals.
I still don't see why I can't be a judge.
John II| 10.28.12 @ 12:02AM
Well, my #3 son works in Hollywood now as a CGI artist, making dinosaur monsters and stuff. In college, he took a double major in theology and math (go figure), and he is among the many quietly talented dudes preparing to take over the entertainment industry in the next generation. Providence is already putting the sleepers in place to retake control of the culture in the wake of the Obamanation.
John II| 10.28.12 @ 12:05AM
That last outburst was in response to your "Hollyweird" reference, Joellen.
Joellen| 10.28.12 @ 7:31AM
John, I believe that with your Son, and a new generation we can bring talent and morality back into hollywood. I know these kids hunger for something good, and believe you, me, it isnt a snickers bar.
Warrior| 10.26.12 @ 7:55PM
I'm late and bringing little. Urban legend has it that one of the first duties of Obama was to bring Biden to a Black Liberation Theology church in which he actually aped (plaguerized) the post Seinfeld, Michael Richards rant: “Fifty years ago, we’d have you upside down with a f***ng fork up your ass. You can talk, you can talk, you’re brave now motherf****r. Throw his ass out. He’s a n****r! He’s a n****r! He’s a n****r! A n****r, look, there’s a n****r!”
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 9:30PM
What is ironic is how that story was quickly buried, as the DVD of "Seinfeld Season 5" (or whatever season) was about to be released.
Pecos Pete| 10.26.12 @ 8:03PM
I started out by complimenting KennesawJack and JohnII's first whack at it. Continues to read and realized there are a whole lot of highly intelligent people making entries today. I even made a disparaging remark about Tim and Albert, of course not meaning to undermine their obvious attempt to overwhelm those of us willing to endure Tim's awards.
And then, because I've been up the mountain cutting firewood, I finally listened to the current news and discovered that Obama has ruined my planned entry: Obama and his merry band of Czars as the Keystone Cops.
Pecos Pete| 10.26.12 @ 8:11PM
The news I heard was totally devastating, lewd and disgusting. "Last night, it was revealed that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton had ordered more security at the U.S. mission in Benghazi before it was attacked where four Americans, including U.S. Ambassador Christopher Stevens were murdered by Al-Qaeda but President Obama denied the request.""
Further: "According to Jennifer Griffin’s report at Fox News, our staff on the ground was denied help three times by the CIA at Langley during the course of the attack." This allegation was denied by the CIA with the source placing the decision solely upon the White House.
I do not have any humor remaining in my thoughts today. The Benghazi Affair is a national disgrace and is attributable to Obama and his White House staff. Why anyone could continue supporting this traitorous person is beyond comprehension.
Pecos Pete| 10.26.12 @ 8:21PM
I therefore submit for the judges consideration:
The movie: "The Alamo"
Followed by The Battle of San Jacinto where the Texas warriors shouted "Remember the Alamo" and "Remember Goliad" ... and now we all should cry out "Remember Benghazi !"
I will never accept defeat. I will never quit. I will never leave a fallen comrade.
Pecos Pete| 10.26.12 @ 8:33PM
God bless Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty for their sacrifice. They deserve the Medal of Honor.
And God bless Chris Stevens and Sean Smith. May their names be remembered by patriots.
John II| 10.26.12 @ 10:05PM
Well spoken, Pecos. And here's my third entry: "The Thing from Another World" (1951)--the original Christian Nyby/Howard Hawkes version, not the gruesome John Carpenter remake of 1982.
The Professor is the Thing, of course, notwithstanding the awkward datum that the space monster is played by that great conservative patriot, James Arness.
The Thing is an "intelligent carrot," according to Scotty, the wisecracking reporter (back when reporters were patriots too) who responds with that witticism to the discovery that the creature is vegetable rather than animal. So he's very hard to kill, and his means of sustenance is animal (read human) blood.
The whole crew of Air Force guys and scientists up in the arctic station (actually the Mojave desert, but this is not the time for a technical film-making excursus) where the face-off takes place represents . . . US.
The stakes are high, we gotta destroy the Thing, but we proceed with the task in a spirit of dark humor and cross-dialogue banter. One of the scientists is somewhat flaky, and there's a good-looking chick named Nikki who's in love with the Air Force captain played by Kenneth Toby--but otherwise, it's a man's world, mano-a-mano with a cold, calculating, unfeeling threat to survival and the American Way of Life.
We win.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 10:26PM
Please help me out with my recollection. Was Marshal Dillon the good guy in this film, or do I properly recall him as the extra-terrestrial villain?
John II| 10.27.12 @ 1:31AM
No and yes. I mean, the good-guy lead was Kenneth Toby. James Arness (Matt Dillon in the astonishingly long-running Gunsmoke TV series, 1955-75) played the Thing, the extra-terrestrial villain.
Arness didn't want the role of Matt Dillon when it was offered to him because he was afraid it would derail his film career. But his pal John Wayne talked him into it. And it DID derail his film career, but I don't think he minded. He was born to play the role of Matt Dillon, and in the very early years of his acting career, he had always had trouble with casting because of his huge frame (6' 7") and a bad leg (from a severe wound he suffered at Anzio). He died last year at the age of 88.
Joellen| 10.27.12 @ 9:36AM
John, just read your entry "The Thing". This was after I wrote my piece. No such thing as a coincidence that many of us are using Space Aliens as our analogy. Good job.
John II| 10.27.12 @ 1:42PM
Hey Joellen. See my response to your entry, above.
Joellen| 10.27.12 @ 9:30AM
Amen Pecos Pete. GOD bless all our military.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 9:14PM
I still get chills when I hear the Marty Robbins version of the "Ballad of the Alamo". Of course, when one considers today's news, the reason that it is so important is magnified.
chuck| 10.26.12 @ 8:54PM
Ok, here goes.
In honor of Clint Eastwood, for his "empty chair" routine at the GOP convention, an entry featuring some of his movies.
First, "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly".
The first two are evident, Romney good, Obama bad, but the trouble comes with the ugly.
In no particular order:
Hillary
Valarie Jarret
DWS
Moochele
Nancy Pelosi
Sandra Fluke
Rachel Madcow
chuck| 10.26.12 @ 9:02PM
Second,
Dirty Harry.
The perp is Obama, gunning for us average Americans. One minute we are fat and happy. Then...BLAM! Unemployed, house in foreclosure, $4 a gallon gas, no hope, no change(no dollars either)
Romney is Dirty Harry, trying against all odds to save us from becoming victims to the crazed perp.
The role of the chief of police, interferring with the effort to stop the perp goes to Joe "BiteMe" Biden.
Oh, and remember the scene where the perp pays the big black guy to beat the Hell out of him in order to frame Dirty Harry? This role goes to none other that our own "First Wookie", Moochele.
Feeling lucky, punk?
chuck| 10.26.12 @ 9:06PM
Third,
The Outlaw Josey Wales.
The "One We All Been Waiting For", is the Red-legged killer of Josey's family, destroying the hopes and dreams of the American families.
Romney is Josey, mad as Hell, and out for revenge.
Hillary looks the part of the old hag at the store.
chuck| 10.26.12 @ 9:08PM
Honorable mention:
Every Which Way But Loose.
Movie sucked, but Michele played Clyde so well I had to include it here.
chuck| 10.26.12 @ 9:10PM
Honorable mention 2:
The Eiger Sanction.
Has nothing to do with the contest, but George(the climbing trainer, not George Kennedy) was gorgeous and had great tits, and just had to be mentioned!
chuck| 10.26.12 @ 9:18PM
But come to think of it, the part of Jack Cassidy could be played by Obama. But who would play the little dog,"Faggot"?
CJW| 10.27.12 @ 11:34AM
chuck
I think Hillary is more like the riverboat ferry guy who sings Dixie near Josey and the Union song near the Union soldiers. Situational principles.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 9:09PM
All of the above meet the requirements. Unfortunately, unlike the film, none is likely to end up in an improperly marked grave. Damn!
mike 3/505| 10.27.12 @ 1:07PM
Chuck,
Let me please say, you have served as an inspiration to us all. Multiple entires and each one a gem! However, as you know, you really didn't write those. Someone else did that. I am sure, that you would be willing, given your unearned fortune, to contribute just a bit more to the society here in Tim's contest, that helped you write that. Please have your next entry in before 1900, so I have time to claim credit for it.
Forward!
BHO
chuck| 10.27.12 @ 5:49PM
To be honest, I am responsible for the first one, my brother chuck is responsible for the second, and honorable mention #1. He really hates Moochele. My other brother chuck came up with number 3.
I take full and complete credit for Honorable Mention #2, George REALLY had nice tits!
I'll see what my other brother chuck can come up with, but honestly, he's a little slow, so I really can't promise you any thing.
chuck| 10.27.12 @ 8:43PM
Although Mike, or should I call you "the One", I must bow to your brillance. Having submitted more than my "fair share", it is well within your "right" to confiscate anything above my fair share, and to redistribute it to the neediest person, or to yourself. As I have way too much, I have no right to complain, and actually I should feel it is my patriotic duty to willing sacrifice my extra, unneeded entries to you.
I am truly humbled by your brilliance.
ALL HAIL "THE ONE"!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 9:56PM
Almost 150 entries (from the four before the contest) so far today, and as of yet, no one has detected Mike 3/505 's entry. Perhaps his entry is the second term agenda that Obama has provided no details of to date.
By the way, where is Nick?
mike 3/505| 10.26.12 @ 10:15PM
Al...you are close...scroll up!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.26.12 @ 10:28PM
Got it, thanks.
KennesawJack| 10.26.12 @ 10:56PM
You know, I'm starting to think all ya'll do is go to the movies. Don't you ever get laid, or get drunk, or do any fun things? I mean, damn, ya'll know movies I've never heard of. And before ya'll give me a ration about my poetry, my wife really likes it. Makes her do all kinds of truly good things. Come to think of it, maybe that's why I don't have time for the movies.
Bob Grant| 10.26.12 @ 11:46PM
There once was a man named Jack
Whose poems were targets of attack
but privately he smiled
'cause he knew that they wiled
that horny wife of his in the sack
KennesawJack| 10.27.12 @ 9:19AM
Nice.
mike 3/505| 10.27.12 @ 11:59AM
I wrote that.
mike 3/505| 10.27.12 @ 12:00PM
BHO
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.27.12 @ 12:39PM
You're doing an excellent job staying in character.
mike 3/505| 10.27.12 @ 12:50PM
Thanks. I'll have to take a shower after this...And gargle w/some good scotch. This "method" acting sucks.
mike 3/505| 10.27.12 @ 12:53PM
Big Al,
I noticed you had a couple great entries. So, it appear you are also "more fortunate" than some. I'm also gonna have to ask you to "contribute a bit more." I need your next entry ASAP, so I can take credit for it before 1900 tonite.
BHO
Bob Grant| 10.27.12 @ 2:05PM
I heard your boy Plugs Biden is good with the pen and paper.
Why don't you shoot him a call.
mike 3/505| 10.27.12 @ 2:41PM
I just send him out in public to make me look smart.
Regards,
BHO
TLP| 10.27.12 @ 7:30PM
No you didn't.
You did not write that!
BL in AK| 10.27.12 @ 3:06AM
TLP-
Thanks again for extending the contest. During the week I have to refrain from posting during the work time frame, but I check in/follow the TAS gang. I agree with Pecos Pete about honoring the 2 SEALs who ignored the CIA directive to stand down and tried to rescue Ambassodor Stevens and the Americans in the Benghazi compound. They are HEROES. I listen to Rush on my way to work each morning and on Friday AM it was his opening topic as FOX news released the details of the CIA/SEALs response. Pecos Pete confirmed my stance on the matter. BHO has no respect for men and women in uniform who provide our freedoms. We need to keep the pressure on and get rid of the traitor in the White House.
When I read the tone for the contest earier in the week as BHO minions, I was going to present isight on who those minions are here in Anchorage.
BL in AK| 10.27.12 @ 3:09AM
However, upon seeing that a Seinfeld comedic was in play and I had just attended J Seinfeld's first apppearance in Alaska on Thursday 10/25 at Sullivan Arena, I had to adjust my entry. My wife and I were seated in position to see Jerry S's approach to the stand up comedian role. It was fabulous. He did bits without dropping the F bomp continuously like the weak liberal comedians must do to capture their audience. We attended Lewis Black’s gig in Las Vegas in November 2009 for comparison. Not one F'bomb from Mr. Seinfeld. His bits were about family, relationships, and beverages (calm down Mike 3/505). And one I think I can apply to the contest.
mike 3/505| 10.27.12 @ 9:24AM
Beverages? Did someone mention beverages?
KennesawJack| 10.27.12 @ 9:40AM
Where? Where?
mike 3/505| 10.27.12 @ 9:45AM
Don't mess w/My booze pardner...I'm right down the road from you...Dallas....but only on the weekends.
KennesawJack| 10.27.12 @ 10:02AM
Dallas, as in Georgia or Dallas, as in Texas?
mike 3/505| 10.27.12 @ 10:05AM
Right down the road from you....Georgia, but only on the weekends. I stay at the John Wayne School for Boys (Ft Benning) during the work week.
KennesawJack| 10.27.12 @ 10:17AM
That makes at least three of us in proximity. Chuck is apparently from Woodstock or Acworth. That being said, if the TAS regulars actually DO decide to have a celebratory bash after November 6th, logic dictates that beautiful North Georgia should host the event. Wings, Yuengling and Jaeger at the Taco Mac on Chastain Road by KSU! Tim, in this particular instance, "Host" is not synonymous with "footing the tab". Just sayin'.
mike 3/505| 10.27.12 @ 10:19AM
Works for me...as long as event is on a Saturday....Uncle Sam has me ( for the foreseeable future) Mon - Fri
chuck| 10.27.12 @ 8:47PM
You're on, I'll buy the first round!
TLP| 10.28.12 @ 8:45AM
"The Taco Mac"?
I'd rather go to The Chow Hall.
KennesawJack| 10.28.12 @ 11:45PM
That's only because you've never been to a Taco Mac. Anybody who is ANYBODY goes to Taco Mac.
BL in AK| 10.27.12 @ 3:20AM
In this bit, Jerry talked about coffee, and how it has two personalities. One personality is as it is before you drink it while it is in your cup of choice. Then, upon consuming the black magic, the coffee takes on a whole different mystique as the body processes the fluids. The analogy then is the minions are the coffee in your cup prior to our consumption representing the 20-30 year olds in school getting Obama's and Libs version of what they should do with their lifes. Jerry then described the process of once the coffee is in the body it doesn't want to stay around and do any work in the body, so it moves on. This manifestation of the minions as processed material (poop) is expressed as waste. That is how the minions appear to me. Waste to be managed.
Hope the judges agree.
Have a good weekend
cheerz
BL
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.27.12 @ 9:18AM
So if I understand correctly, the young are the coffee in the cup, full of caffeinated energy and fine aroma. They are subjected to the digestive forces of leftist academia, entertainment and culture, that tends to turn them and all around them into crap. The challenge before us is how we try to manage that crap to be the productive fertilizer of our future, rather than a toxic sludge that poisons everything it touches. Do I get this right?
Bob Grant| 10.27.12 @ 9:33AM
Bl/Al:
If I may expand on this fine analogy. I shall introduce Mitt Romney as the enema that will flush and clean out the "waste".
I do believe we are on to something here because when one thinks of youth, in particular, the obama youth, one thinks of Starbucks and all of the pretentiousness involved.
mike 3/505| 10.27.12 @ 9:27AM
Wow! So many awesome entires. So little time for me to take credit for them!
BL in AK| 10.27.12 @ 2:26PM
Albert-
Yes, you are correct with your analogy.
BL
Eduardo| 10.27.12 @ 5:04PM
Our motion picture analogy today, kids, is FALLING DOWN. In that flick, Michael Douglas plays a nominally decent everyman (like us) whose life is turned upside down because of events outside his control. You know, like what has happened the last 4 years in America. He tries to earn a buck and make an honest living but his defense contractor-employer has laid him off........Hmmm, anyone else see a parallel with today's employment situation and the gutting of defense spending? Not only that, his shrewish wife divorced him and has custody of his little girl. This represents the overall marginalization of the husband and father as breadwinner and head of household in today's USA, which under the current administration has econonically and socially castrated the male and forced proud men to swallow their pride and apply for welfare and public assistance. A running theme throughout the movie is Douglas trying to deliver his daughter a gift for her birthday, but he is stymied at every turn (by Latino gang bangers, by neo nazi types, but old wall street country club f*cks playing golf, etc), which is a metaphor for all the horse sh*t all of us have to endure every day. Finally, Douglas SNAPS and becomes empowered with the help of Smith & Wesson among others. In the end, Douglas is killed by sympathetic cop Robert Duvall, which is what I hope happens to me if Obama is re-elected. Okay, Amigos, that's it. Go with God, brothers and sisters.
Abdullah| 10.27.12 @ 6:39PM
Eduardo, I know exactly how you feel, bro. This was one of my favorite, though highly depressing movie. William Foster: "I help to protect America. You should be rewarded for that. Instead they give it to the plastic surgeons". Nothing new since 1993...
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.27.12 @ 6:42PM
Best line from the film for me was when Taylor Negron, playing the homeless panhandler, claims to be a Viet Nam veteran. Michael Douglas inspects his youthful visage, and asks "What were you, a drummer boy?".
TLP| 10.28.12 @ 8:40AM
Seriously.
How long have you been an Usher at the Lpcal Cinema Twin?
TLP| 10.27.12 @ 7:04PM
It's 701.
Do you know where you're Prizes are?
I need all of you Shut Ins to be a little Patient.
I have over 200 Entries to go through - One At A Time - So bear with me.
I am NOT leaving the room, so WATCH IT!
TLP| 10.27.12 @ 8:01PM
Oh my God.
It's gonna take me an Hour to write everything I've jotted down. So many of these are so good, I'm surprised that Colonel mike didn't take Credit for more of them.
(Just so you guys know. I'm in discussions with Kaminsky to get a Spot on the TAS Roster, for The Contest, every Friday. And, it's not because of me.
It's because of You.
WE ARE LEGION!
Now, it's time to Sum all of this up.
The Winners are as Follows: John Navritil, for his Jungle Book Analogy, without even a hint of Linda Lovelace, Deep Throat, or Mogli's "Package".
In addition to the Unused Seinfeld Material, I am sending him My Dirty Socks, and a Recipe for Dirty Sock Soup.
Albert Constantinople (or whatever he calls himself these days) for his Ingenious use of Two Genres at the same time. Both - Television- with his Seinfeld Reference, and his Soirée into the Untouchables Movie.
Abdullah is a winner, for his attempt to pick up Navritil's Slack, with his Filty Poem.
Penis.
CJW is a Winner, for his George Costanza at the Birthday Party entry. "It's over for Bozo."
TLP| 10.27.12 @ 8:19PM
Thanks to CJW, Colomel mike 3/505 is a Wimner, as his Alcohol Induced Entry brought a tear to my eyes as I was Chopping Onions.
Normally, I would send him a Winner's Prize. But I have a feeling that he would much rather have the Used Corks, from Jay Z's $1,800 Bottles of Champagne. They are way more suited to his PROBLEM. Plus, he cracks me up.
Jacob McCandles has managed to garner himself a Prize, both from the Winner List, with his Super Imaginative Entry of Charles in Charge (Genius) as well as a Loser's Prize for his Crappy (Welfare Recpient Lazy) Japanese Poem.
Joellen returns to the Winner's Circle with her Fabulous Rendition of War Of The Worlds. Who says sh's just a Pretty Face? (Has anyone actually seen her face?)
KennesawJack, with yet another Shakespearian Ode to Dear Leader, with the help of an Imaginary Friend. (Rudy)
I gotta tell ya. The Plaque on the Statue of Liberty's got nothing on you two guys.
It was so good that, in addition to the regular Prize? I'm sending him a Tube of Scalp Colouring, as well as a two night supply of Sponges, as it was That Worthy.
Mr. Kwan wins again, for another Great Entry, in his long line of Great Entries.
TLP| 10.27.12 @ 8:33PM
John II is a Winner, with ANOTHER entry from the totally Not Gay, Gay Musical - West Side Story.
In addition to his Prize, I've arranged for a Limo to take him, and Alan Brooks, to a remake of his Favourite Show at The Ramrod Club, in The Village.
Well done, again Joannie.
I mean - Johnnie.
Stkman wins with his insightful Rap Lyrics, as well as his obvious Kiss to my Ass.
I considered giving Alan's Girl a Winner's Prize, but I felt that she was just one, or two Dirty Words from reaching the Promised Land.
Congratulations, one and all.
As far as The Losers go?
I have gene on that list, because, for some strange reason, he thinks that Albert hates him.
He gets the Corks, and the Rap Lyrics, as well as the Home Version of The Contest.
Gary Seven?
C'mon!
I also had McCandles, for his "I don't give a shit" entry of a Japanese Poem.
You two can do better.
John II| 10.28.12 @ 12:11AM
Thoroughly humbled, as usual, by your acknowledgment, Timmy. And I want you to know that I did it all without having found my tutu. It's lost.
Actually, it's my daughter's tutu--but she's grown and married now, so she'll probably never know that I lost it.
TLP| 10.28.12 @ 8:54AM
Did you look for it where you keep your other Dresses?
Look there.
Abdullah| 10.27.12 @ 9:39PM
I'm very flattered. Where should I pick my prize?
I like this format a lot. Is it going to be a weekly contest? What's next?
http://www.facebook.com/abdullah.abdullah.3348390
Bob Grant| 10.27.12 @ 10:45PM
With a name like Abdullah, TLP will have look to the East.
You must do this in the morning when the sun's exactly at eye level.
Continue to look to the East, directly at the sun 'till you see stars.
Continue to look until the stars disappear. This should take - heck, I don't know - about 30 to 40 minutes.
There, your prize awaits!
TLP| 10.28.12 @ 8:38AM
BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had one more Prize Recipient on the back page of my notes that I forgot to include.
Warrior - He gets's the Loser Prize for his Code Worded, Dog Whistle Entry - which was totally Inappropriate - as I was gonna write all that myself, and now I can't.
TLP| 10.28.12 @ 9:15AM
Abdullah.
Don't listen to Bob Grant. Obviously, he has a problem with your name.
I do not.
If you wanna pick up your Prize, you can drive to the Airport nearest you. Be sure that you have a Grenade in one hand and a Gun in the other, as these are the Secret Items that open the Magic Prize Dimensional Rift.
Holding the Magic Items high over your head, you must repeat The Conjurer's Spell at the top of your lungs: Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar!
That's when you will recieve your Prize.
Now, get moving and claim that prize.
You'll be instantly surrounded by Well Wishers, dressed in Blue. The Paparazzi will put your Picture in every Paper in the Country. You'll be famous! I wouldn't be surprised if you got a Police Escort. And you'll recieve a Free Trip for a long stay at one of the Supermax Hotels around the Country, with a Fully Furnished Room - just for you - and Room Service where you don't even need to open the door. They just slide the Food right in to the Room. (Classy, or what?)
And, Sex? Everybody there is Horny. Everybody.
You're gonna meet Men and Women there, like you can't believe. (Mostly Men)
So, whatta you say?
ROAD TRIP!
TLP| 10.28.12 @ 9:17AM
Just kidding Abdullah.
If you're gonna be one of us, you gotta be able to take the Jokes.
Savvy?
TLP| 10.27.12 @ 8:43PM
I almost forgot.
An extremely Hounorable Mention goes to Pecos Pete, for reminding us of the Selfless Courage and Superhuman Quality of Our Men and Women in Uniform.
Even though they were told to STAND DOWN, by the Vile Scum that resides in this Creature's Administration. They held True to the Longstanding Code Of Honour, that all of our Armed Forces Personnel live by.
They ran to the fight, AGAINST ORDERS, because THEY BELIEVE in the words - We Never Leave A Comrade Behind.
God Bless those Men.
And, God Bless Pecos Pete, for reminding us.
Good Job, Pete.
Have a Great Sunday, and keep our Guys and Gals in your Prayers.
I know I will.
Joellen| 10.28.12 @ 7:39AM
Amen, these heroes are exactly why we need to fight here at home. Their families should know that we will NOT let their SONS go quietly into the night - that they will be honored now and when we restore honor in our White House. They are forever in our prayers.
Bob Grant| 10.28.12 @ 10:44AM
Hear, hear.
Those two gentlemen were indeed hero's! In the strictest sense; no less than those firefighters who entered the WTC buildings.
The thought that obama - the anti-hero in the strictest sense - could have played a part in their demise makes is even more painful.
Bob Grant| 10.28.12 @ 10:45AM
makes it...
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.27.12 @ 8:59PM
It is an honor to once again share the winner's title with so many other worthy competitors in a most worthy event.
Another great contest with many fine entries, which was particularly challenging since TLP set it up on a thread that you needed GPS to find (Nick is apparently still lost). Once again, though, our host with the most, Mr. Pennell, has done an excellent job of rounding up the eager contestants, who demonstrate that while so much effort has been expended in popular culture to dumb down and indoctrinate the population, there are still many of us left who can sort through it all and find a message of faith, real hope and adherence to our founding principles.
I believe of tip of the cap is necessary to Professor Mattix, who published the original article on Wednesday, which left a largely unoccupied thread available for this weekend’s festivities.
I think also an acknowledgement should go to Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David (and I choke on the latter one) for giving us the show about nothing, to allow us to compare it to an administration that has been about nothing good.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.27.12 @ 9:00PM
One of the great things about most conservatives is that we can live our lives the right way without obnoxiously pestering everyone else most of the time. This week’s contest saw many entries from the contests of the last several weeks recycled, but in new and responsive ways. “Falling Down” , “The Manchurian Candidate” and “The Thing” all made reappearances this week, but Eduardo, Kwan and John II presented them in fresh ways, responsive to this week’s theme.
There was poetry in the air this week, and it sang. KJ and his pal Rudy K. provided an excellent update to a classic that should be turned into a poster and adorn everyone’s wall. Abdullah’s debut entry tied together both Seinfeld and one of the Obama campaign’s lamer themes in but four lines. Mr. Navratil represented one side of the Pacific with his ukulele, while Mr. McCandles evoked Eastern sensibilities with his haiku. Stkman’s original composition started about the origins of a man who knows no humility, and concluded with a mention to our humble host. Bob Grant tossed in a limerick, though no one could touch Alan’s Girl in that department (though clearly many wished to do so).
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.27.12 @ 9:01PM
We got more musicals and show tunes, with “Jungle Book”, and the next installments from John II’s seminal re-working of Mr. Bernstein’s “West Side Story”. We got sci-fi, with Gene and his Garys from “Star Trek”. We got more movies, with Pecos Pete’s entry of John Wayne’s epic of the 13 days of glory at “The Alamo” in remembrance of recent heroes. Chuck dusted off the Eastwood library along with the empty chair, and there was Joellen’s “War of the Worlds”. CJW went classic with “On the Waterfront”, which would annoy all of the old and new Hollywood left still angry about Kazan’s naming their Reds before HUAC seven decades ago.
Television was not shortchanged, and in addition to Seinfeld, “Charles in Charge” was offered by Jacob M., with the accompanying theme song by Bob Grant (that’s two mentions so far, BG). From Alaska, BL brought in Seinfeld material (and that and a cup of coffee will get you a stinking mess), and Warrior offered a Seinfeld offshoot that, were it to actually happen, could get Plugs oft shot.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.27.12 @ 9:06PM
Mike parachuted in while in character, and stayed that way throughout the contest. As it is often said, success has a thousand fathers, while failure is an orphan. He took the credit where it wasn’t due, and was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Professor Strasberg will be proud of all you did with his method (though I’m sure someone waits in the wings to say “You didn’t do that”).
It has been great fun spending a part of the weekend with all of you (though I do duck out for a few hours every Friday, where I'm trying to get select participants at the bar to play the home version of the contest.
Thanks to all. TLP, at the head of this legion, you ride aloft on the John Deere Gator, as we move forward to mock the left.
CJW| 10.27.12 @ 10:16PM
Albert and TLP
Terrific summaries of the posts.
Reminder to all that prizes should be sent to the William Jefferson Blyth Clinton Library, 6th Floor. Must specify the 6th floor, as the first three are for clothing, the fourth for cigars, and the fifth for the world's largest collection of papers shreders, erasers, invisible ink, blank appointment books for every year since 1970, and dictionaries opened to the "IS."
Have a pleasant Sunday and remember the four dead Americans that obama and hillary forgot.
John II| 10.28.12 @ 12:46AM
Not likely to forget. Hey everyone--don't miss Mark Steyn's take on that sorry episode on the current NRO.
It's really very simple: the Professor and his lowlife retinue are not FIT for the offices they occupy. And "FIT" really IS a three-letter word.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.28.12 @ 10:12AM
The article is another excellent job by Mr. Steyn, who manages to touch on the Obama administration's obsession with providing government mandates for birth control, but its failure to live up to its basic obligation to defend its people.
Jacob McCandles| 10.27.12 @ 10:09PM
Some great thinkers and writers out there, thanks everyone. Some good laughs. We need it nowadays. I predict Romney wins all the states except CA IL NY ME NM and a few other New England POS states.
We take the senate with 3 extra, no filibuster proof majority but control is control. Defunding ACA not as good as repeal but it's a start.
Ideas for new weekend interactions:
1. "Dear Timmy" advice column like Dear Abby- but about politics, life, women, firearms/military/survival etc.. Could be about any subject and could have guest Abbys that are knowledgable about certain things.
2. Old fashioned jokes- priest, rabbi walk into bar material.
3. Haiku n' Scotch nite.
4. Date nite with Ann Coulter stories.
McCandles out.
John II| 10.28.12 @ 12:15AM
Nice peroration, Mac. Only one more Contest before the Final Contest!
TLP| 10.28.12 @ 9:35AM
Date Night?
Interesting.
As the Alternate Universe Mr. Spock so famously said: "I shall consider it."
What I did on my Date with ________ Fill in the blank. Hmmmmmmmm.
This has Unlimited Possibilities.
Right after the Elections, perhaps.
Thanks mike 3/505, for that idea. (How know he's gonna try and take credit for it, anyway.)
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.28.12 @ 10:06AM
At first, I had difficulty recognizing the relationship with “Date Night”, and our usually politically-oriented discussions. Then, I came to understand the genius of it.
It would appear that the Obama campaign has opened the door with the Lena Dunham “Give Obama Your Virginity” video. First, they asked for your wedding gifts, now they want your virtue. I am reminded of “Braveheart”, and its brief exploration of “Prima Nocta”, where the noble elite had the right to intercourse with the virgin bride on her wedding night. Clearly, the second term agenda of the Obama administration has many surprises.
Rhoetus| 10.29.12 @ 12:32AM
McCandles: I'd tell you about Ann but as a gentleman I never kiss and tell. ;)
BL in AK| 10.28.12 @ 1:31AM
TLP/Albert-
What great summaries and prize allocations. I am humbled by yours and all contestants entries. As Pecos Pete reminded us, remember the fallen who made the ultimate sacrifice. My prayers go out to their families and all of our men in women in uniform still at charge of protecting our freedoms.
At 1904 AKDT a 7.7M earthquake struck W British Columbia with a 5.7M aftershock 0.5hr later and has triggered a tsunami alert for coastal BC and SE AK. My prayers are also going out to the folks who will be scrambling to higher ground tonight.
Have a good Sunday all
BL
mike 3/505| 10.28.12 @ 10:42AM
What Happened?! I had to step out for a few days and I come back to find some loser has hijacked my handle, failed to put in an entry for the competition, stole the entries of other participants...and worst of all....drank all my scotch!
mike 3/505| 10.28.12 @ 10:44AM
On a serious note....Yet again a great contest and a chance for some good fellowship. Thanks to all the participants who humoured my drunken ravings and thanks to Tim for setting this up and getting us all together. Prayers to,our brave warriors deployed afar and on our behalf.
Regards,
Mike
BL in AK| 10.28.12 @ 4:05PM
Mike3/505-
The tsumami alert was downgraded at midnight and attention has focused toward Hilo. My thoughts and prayers to all you east coasters to get thru SandyFrankenstorm.
Beverages-wise, the Isle of Skye non-peaty versions are my preference. I have a batch of kvass for you and KJack to try sometime.
cheerz
BL
mike 3/505| 10.28.12 @ 4:14PM
BL,
Look forward to it!
Mike