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The Nation's Pulse
Your Call Is Important to Us
Since we know it’s not, what can be done about it?
Call it the Law of Robot Customer Service. As ever more companies adopt endlessly complicated automated telephone systems, ever more customers become ever more frazzled.
You know the symptoms (translations in parentheses):
“Your call is important to us, so please wait for the next available associate” (after three minutes the line goes dead, followed by a new robot voice saying, “If you want to make a call, hang up and dial again); or,
“Our menu has changed, so please listen carefully” (We’re up to nine choices now); or,
“Please tell me in a few words what you are calling about” (No two- or three-word combination will be recognizable to the robovoice); or,
“Let me connect you to a Customer Service representative,” followed by:
“All of our associates are busy assisting other customers” (She’s on her coffee break); or,
“Please enter the special PIN that was assigned to you” (No it wasn’t); or,
“I didn’t understand the answer you entered” (That’s because your engineers haven’t figured out how to eliminate lapses in your message); or,
“Having trouble with your XYZ? Let’s walk through the steps” (followed by a list of items, none of which is related to your question).
One guess as to why so many of these systems are over-complicated and suffer from blank spots and glitches is that their designers are not geared to customer service, but are attuned only to the mechanics of the gadgetry.
Some organizations have avoided driving customers up the wall, either with rigorous training of their personnel to give helpful service over the telephone or by means of a streamlined telephone system.
USAA, the big insurance company for current and former members of the armed services, is a good example of the first group. The robosystem asks only that you pick by number, the subject about which you are calling (e.g, “1” for auto insurance; “2” for home insurance). A service representative comes on the line quickly, answers questions cheerfully, and is respectful of the caller (and does not use the faux chumminess of addressing the caller by his/her first name).
Hertz is an example of the streamlined approach. It wasn’t always this easy, but today you can dial their “800” number, book a rental car in a distant city, get the cost and your confirmation number all without human intervention and all within about three minutes.
On the horizon is a new form of Customer Service: fast response to Twitter messages. The Wall Street Journal reports that one woman, after being put on hold for 40 minutes by a Citibank representative, gave up and tweeted the bank in frustration. She got an immediate reply, “Send us your phone number and we’ll call you right back.” She did and he did.
About the Author
Peter Hannaford was closely associated for a number of years with the late President Reagan, beginning in the California Governor’s office. His latest book is Presidential Retreats.
Letter to the Editor View all comments (22) | Leave a comment
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Bob K| 10.18.12 @ 6:58AM
Hey Pete!
Please explain to everyone here why a "Tweet" should take preference over a phone call? Remember, the Management Dork who was tweeted by the unsatisfied telephone caller called the customer back on a phone, didn't he?
Appleby| 10.18.12 @ 7:08AM
There are millions of us over the age of 50 who cannot reach ANYBODY these days, because we are not tweetheads and do not carry Devices (Binkies) but only cell phones that make and receive calls. Social Security is a world class nightmare for the people in the age group that have hard enough work to work through an ordinary "phone tree", much less all the malarky that ends in "www..." that robot voices suggest we quit bothering them and "mouse click" instead.
On the other hand, in my Kanukistani grocery store where frequently on a Saturday morning there is only one checkout open while the "staff" hangs out in the coffee room and even the boot camp manager can't stir them, customers telephone the head office from the line that spreads halfway through the store, and surprisingly often THIS dislodges the clerks.
PolishKnight| 10.18.12 @ 2:44PM
Hello Appleby. You really need to get creative? Want to get those lazy millennials' attention? Cup your hands and say nonchalantly to your companion (but loud enough for the slackers to hear): "This new iPhone 6 beta rocks!"
They'll stumble over each other trying to reach you to see.
In addition, why are you trying to reach anybody? Aged wisdom is the realization that it's not important to reach people right away most of the time. In the old days, you waited for people to get home, right? Or even left them a message on their answering machine, er, voicemail! Right?
Regarding the internet, you really need to get up to speed. Even old timers like my mother have figured out how to use the web. Are you still on AOL? Thanks to the web, people are now freed from the mainstream media shackles.
Appleby| 10.18.12 @ 4:45PM
I am perfectly capable of using the Web, thank you very much; I'm a pioneer, and if you want a real good time, try posting race reports using AOL through France Telecom during the 24 Hours of Le Mans. BUT, leaving messages for the people at Social Security, except for the small office in Niagara Falls where one is connected by a knowledgeable switchboard to a person with a name who "handles that" on the spot, is useless. This crowd doesn't listen to messages. As for the Apple Binkies, I'm just waiting for that EMP they all keep promising us, and all those exploding heads.
JimH| 10.18.12 @ 8:06AM
This website has instructions on reching a real person for most major companies:
http://gethuman.com/contact/companies/country-us/
Rich D| 10.18.12 @ 11:58PM
Reaching or retching?
RFisher66| 10.18.12 @ 9:00AM
I don't twitter, tweet, cheep, peep, chirp or bark and I don't intend to learn how. I have a cell phone for two reasons. To make phone calls to a living breathing human being that can answer a simple question in 10 seconds and to text my grandkids since they won't answer the damn phone unless I text them in advance to tell them I'm calling and to answer it. Human interaction has gone to hell in a hand basket. If heaven has cell phones I'll suspect I ended up in the wrong place.
RFisher66| 10.18.12 @ 9:01AM
I don't twitter, tweet, cheep, peep, chirp or bark and I don't intend to learn how. I have a cell phone for two reasons. To make phone calls to a living breathing human being that can answer a simple question in 10 seconds and to text my grandkids since they won't answer the damn phone unless I text them in advance to tell them I'm calling and to answer it. Human interaction has gone to hell in a hand basket. If heaven has cell phones I'll suspect I ended up in the wrong place.
Dai Alanye | 10.18.12 @ 11:54AM
Heard you the first time.
BTW, I feel a plain old desk phone is sufficient for my needs, and consider it an adequate advance on the telegraph. I only wish they still made them in black hard rubber, suitable for subduing burglars and other home invaders.
MarkS| 10.18.12 @ 10:40AM
I've been in the insurance biz for 27 years and have dealt with the back offices of carriers steadily fortifying themselves behind electronic walls, concertina wire and mine fields. When all else fails and an agent finally gets through to the proper desk of a sub-department minion in the correct division he is usually marooned in the tiger trap of last resort...voice mail.
But I have detected something to the answer systems I cannot prove. I find that if I yell ASSOCIATE or REPRESENTATIVE really, really loud it usually cuts right to "Please hold for a representative...". I think it's entirely possible modern systems utilize voice stress algorithms to detect when a customer has had enough. After all, businesses may put their convenience first but they're not completely stupid.
And if I'm wrong about the technology and I'm just seizing on a placebo effect at least I feel better about it. :)
Who Knows?| 10.18.12 @ 11:46AM
What's a cell phone?
jdondet| 10.18.12 @ 12:17PM
Try talking to these automated phone systems with a deep Southern accent. I just give up.
JD| 10.18.12 @ 12:25PM
Whine like a bunch of curmudgeons all you want, but the fact remains that staffing big support centers with humans costs money, and customers foot that cost. Using intelligent humans costs even more.
JP| 10.18.12 @ 3:04PM
True. But, that isn't an excuse. Granted the overhead for well trained call center employees can be expensive. But, rarely if ever do these large corporations pass their savings on to the consumer.
JohnLeo| 10.18.12 @ 3:31PM
No, it's not necessarily expensive. Customer service can be outsourced to India where folks make three cents an hour. Of course you can't understand a word they say, but that's another matter.
Denver Todd| 10.18.12 @ 12:46PM
I think of much of interaction over the phone and in person too should be improved in American business. One problem is that you can pretty much expect certain interactions on a daily basis. "Did you find everything ok?" at the grocer store or "are you still working on that?" at a restaurant come to mind. A business that reinvents interactions would have an edge up on the competion. How about "Did you forget anything on your shopping trip today? I would be happy to get it for you." I especially like talking with someone who acts like an adult. That is why most people ask to see a manager, because you are pretty much assured the manager will be an adult. My interactions with Federal Express come to mind, adults work there.
pigdog| 10.18.12 @ 1:08PM
".... after being put on hold for 40 minutes by a Citibank representative, gave up and tweeted the bank in frustration. She got an immediate reply, "Send us your phone number and we'll call you right back." She did and he did. "
Thank you, Peter. You've given me a social engineering idea!
Harry the Horrible| 10.18.12 @ 1:26PM
I used to work for a company that created a toolkit for creating voice messaging systems like the ones we encounter today. I can honestly say that many of these VMS are poorly designed, or, possibly, sadistically designed to discourage callers. Really.
The proper options are frequently not made available early and up front; when you get a live person, the VMS does not do a "screen pop" so that that the support person has to ask you for all the info you have already entered.
It is pretty disgraceful, actually.
Appleby| 10.18.12 @ 4:50PM
That is exactly what my INTERNET PROVIDER's tech support line does! I always ask the guy "Why can't you get that over your internet system -- or isn't YOURS working either?" Oh, and when you're on hold for tech support, why do they tell you to go to their website? IF I COULD GO TO YOUR [CENSORED] WEBSITE, I WOULD NOT BE CALLING YOUR TECH SUPPORT PEOPLE ON THE BLEEPING TELEPHONE!
Tafuna| 10.18.12 @ 4:14PM
I can vouch that the phone service at USAA is excellent. Whenever I call there I always get prompt and polite service. It's the only place I'm still respectfully addressed by my military rank though I've been retired for years-- and I really dislike being addressed by my first name by strangers.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 10.18.12 @ 9:49PM
Ditto about USAA, I almost always found them to be a first rate courteous customer service oriented organization.
Petronius| 10.21.12 @ 2:08PM
The only thing important to Them is a captive customer base that must pay for lousy services they can't do without.