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Ben Stein's Diary

America’s Ants Come Home to Roost

Variations on a theme by President Obama’s Rev. Wright.

Tuesday
Why are ants so creepy? I awakened in Malibu this morning with an ant walking merrily along my wrist and another on my elbow. That made me very, well, tee-hee, antsy, you might say. I went into the guest room, where there has been no food for a very long time. I figured that would be safe. I fell into a peaceful sleep for about an hour. Then, out of nowhere, came an ant on my arm. Why? What was that ant looking for?

Was that ant perhaps looking to eat me? Maybe he was going to take a small bite, then go to the ant Internet and write a review of my flesh: “Very fat and super salty. Not recommended for ants who care about their circulatory systems.…” Anyway, I killed that ant and could not go back to sleep.

Then, into town to rest and then give a speech. It was a super great group and I loved them a lot. When you have a great group, it makes speaking true paradise. When you are speaking to a group of dopey people, which is extremely rare for me, it’s painful.

(This reminds me that at a recent speaking engagement, I was talking about problems with the school system and a junior high school teacher came up to me afterwards. I think I mentioned that. But did I mention that he said that his students only wanted to fight kids from other races, cared not a whit about history — his subject — and only wanted for recess to come so they could hit each other. He also told me about a class where no one knew what Pearl Harbor was. One guessed that it was jewelry shop. If I told you that already, I apologize for this and many other sins.)

After my speech, I checked my e-mails and there was a plaintive one from a woman of 50, still beautiful, who wanted to know why she had never been married. “I don’t know, Dotty,” I said. “I guess it’s just bad luck.”

Of course, this woman, again still beautiful, drinks too much, starts arguments at the drop of a hat, has extreme difficulty mustering even one ounce of empathy, tries to jack up men by talking about her sexual adventures with other men. She is fanatically loyal to her friends, I will say that, but the rest is enough to keep her single for the rest of her life.

Then, to read on the Internet about a simply stunningly beautiful 14-year-old girl in Florida who gave birth to a little baby girl in her parents’ home’s bathroom — then strangled the baby and put the corpse in a shoe box. Her mother discovered it a few days later when it started to smell horrible.

Now everyone is in an uproar and rightly so.

But wait a minute. Wasn’t she just exercising a woman’s right to choose? After all, even our President, Mr. Obama, has stood up for the right of a woman or a “hospital” or a “doctor” to kill a baby even after it’s out of the mother or if the baby survived an abortion.

Soooo.… what’s the difference between what this young girl did in Florida and what President Obama and his supporters believe in ? Wasn’t she just exercising a 14 year old girl’s “right to choose”?

By the way, tomorrow I go to see my psychiatrist. I must remember to ask him why so many women who are not interested in men or sex with men are so intent about a “woman’s right to choose.” They won’t ever be pregnant in any event. There must be some deep psychodynamic at work here, but it’s too deep for me.

Then to read an article about the massacres of Armenian Christians by the Turks through the centuries. Just heart-breakingly terrible. It makes me wonder if Mr. Obama has any idea of just how dangerous and evil the human animal is. If he did, he would not even consider cutting the defense budget — unless his real goal is to defeat America. But frankly, I don’t think it is. At least I hope it isn’t.

But can he really be that naive, to consider disarming America when so much of the world is getting ever better armed and hates us more than ever? These people — unlike the Bolsheviki — really want to die for their cause. They are truly terrifying. Can Mr. Obama truly consider disarming when they are staring at us with their fangs dripping with excitement — like ants, you might say.

Like ants with nuclear weapons. Hey, fellow conservatives, this is serious. This defense issue is worth raising taxes for.

Well, time to contemplate the debate between Mr. Romney and Mr. Obama. Not that it matters. With 96 or 98 percent of the black vote going for Mr. Obama and that set in stone, and the whites split somewhat for Mr. Romney, in this totally phony “post-racial” world, the outcome of the election is a foregone conclusion.

As Mr. Obama’s spiritual guide, Rev. Wright, would say, “America’s chickens have come home to roost.”

But somehow, there is still a lot of glory in trusting in The Lord.

About the Author

Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes “Ben Stein’s Diary” for every issue of The American Spectator.

Letter to the Editor View all comments (70) |

Bill8472| 10.3.12 @ 9:22AM

The woman (if woman she is, and not girl) who strangled her baby, at least claim that she took personal responsibility for "aborting" her child, and not sloughing the responsibility off on some abortion provider and his staff. But you're right; if her conduct is murder (which of course it is), where does the distinction between lawful abortion and murder of a baby lie? Is it that the baby is unborn in one instance and fully delivered in the other? That distinction needs to be explained.

Trish| 10.3.12 @ 10:41AM

Dear Mr. Stein,

I think that ant may have come into your house on your dog.

You often write about how you and your wife sleep with your dogs (!), and dogs can carry all kinds of bugs and germs.

Sleeping with dogs may be the cause of you and your wife's frequent illnesses.

Just trying to be helpful,

Trish (a dog-lover, but I do not sleep with them)

Occam's Tool| 10.3.12 @ 12:12PM

Try Orkin, cheapskate Ben.

Cobalt| 10.3.12 @ 1:11PM

Well, at least they aren't fire ants.

You might consider this:

http://www.amazon.com/Uncle-Mi.....B00000IRUG

Bill8472| 10.3.12 @ 1:27PM

Lie down with dogs, get up with fleas.

C Smith | 10.4.12 @ 2:11AM

Psa 139:13 For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.
Psa 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
Psa 139:15 My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Psa 139:16 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.
Psa 139:17 How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!

Aristocat| 10.4.12 @ 3:45AM

These babies who are killed by abortion have guardian angels who stand before the throne of the Almighty...They will be avenged....

Bankrupt_R_Us| 10.4.12 @ 8:40PM

Aristocat, When I was 32 I became a mother for the first time. My child was barely three pounds and drop dead beautiful.

There were complications and my "job" was to drive to the neonatal nursery 3 x a day with a mother's milk delivery in tiny bags. Anyway, I showed up at odd times, and they found a chair for me next to my child's heated box, so I got to watch him and observe nursery activity.

I could write a book about how those eight weeks altered my understanding of tiny human beings and also the love their parents have for them.

Since then I have adopted thinking like you expressed. The human babies, not born, missed out on human existence, but God protected them and brought them to Paradise.

I sincerely believe that all the babies who didn't get born will be in heaven next to the gates, waiting for their mothers.

PCC| 10.3.12 @ 9:30AM

It is understandable that many people vote on the basis of ethnic (or racial or religious) pride, but only up to a point, and that point should be breached when the policies of the recipient of that group identification work to the detriment of the individual voter and his/her community.

Surely Mr. Obama's fellow African-Americans feel the weight of his misguided economic policies and see the results in their own communities, and must balance the reality before their eyes with the pride they feel to see "one of their own" at the helm of the ship of state.

When Mr. Romney said to the audience at the NAACP annual gathering that if they want a president who will improve conditions for them and their families, then "they're looking at him", he spoke a truth, albeit an uncomfortable truth, for many in the audience.

TLP| 10.3.12 @ 1:38PM

Eric Holder's People have been Hit The Hardest, by this Demigod.

17% Unemployment for Black Adults. 50% for their Kids.

One of the first things he did, upon taking Office, was to Sell the Black Kids of D.C. down the river, by Eliminating the School Voucher Program, in favour of The Teachers Union's Money.

These Kid's Parents, pleaded with him, with Tears in their Eyes, to keep this Program Intact, so as to Give their Kids a shot at a Good Life. A shot at a Future beyond the Ghetto. He sent HIS OWN KIDS to Sidwell Friends, claiming that the D.C. Schools did not meet his Daughters Standards.

Nothing in their lives has gotten better under his Reign.

Yet, he's Polling 98% of the Black Vote, while Romney's garnering 0%.

You White Guilt Morons?

Wake Up.

The Blacks in this Country are their own Worst Enemy.

The pile of Sh*t, that is their Situation, is of their Own Doing.

It's time to Wash our Hands of these people's Complaints, once and for all.

Bill8472| 10.3.12 @ 9:40AM

On the ant thing, trust me on the gasoline thing. Also, the poster who suggested making a hole down to the egg chamber so as to get the queen and her brood when you pour the gasoline is right.

You probably don't need a full cup of gas, either, probably less than half a cup would do the trick.

Bill8472| 10.3.12 @ 10:10AM

You live in California and work in the movie industry, right? Think Them! when deciding what to do about pesky ants.

Al Adab| 10.3.12 @ 11:28AM

Them!

James Whitmore, James Arness and Fess Parker.

Bill8472| 10.3.12 @ 1:22PM

Don't forget Santa Claus himself, Edmund Gwenn.

JimH| 10.3.12 @ 1:55PM

Is it me or did those ants sound like a GM power steering pump?

Bill8472| 10.3.12 @ 2:14PM

I was trying to find a web link to that sound. Good one!

Bill8472| 10.3.12 @ 4:52PM

Maybe this link will work:

http://www.4shared.com/audio/8v5deAuB/Them_2.html

TinaB| 10.3.12 @ 10:01AM

Ben, I just don't get why you refuse to believe BHO intends to do this country harm. Why do you keep giving him the benefit of the doubt? Have you not read about his plans, at 19 or 20 years of age as expressed to other Occidental College Socialists, to change our government by indoctrination or revolution? Or are you just getting thick in your old age? You're smarter than this Ben, this president is not accidentally changing America, he is deliberately growing a Socialist, eventually a Marxist State. Got it? Deliberately.

David T| 10.3.12 @ 10:27AM

Exactly. Obama himself said the night he was elected that he was going to fundamentally change this country. How much clearer could he get?

SoCalAngel| 10.3.12 @ 11:55AM

I will never understand why so many conservative voices are unwilling to admit that comrade OB is intentionally deconstructing America and offering the throat of this country to it's enemies. He believes, as do many other Leftists, that they can manipulate the Islamic fascists because they just primitives and thus easily handled. I think he really believes that when his mission of bringing down the U.S. is accomplished he will be leading the New World Order, probably as Secretary General of the U.N. He is a narcissist so it is understandable how he could be so pitifully naive as to believe that he will be allowed to live, never mind run things, when the fascists seize control. Who is the puppet and who is the puppet master?

Denver Todd| 10.3.12 @ 10:19AM

Abortion is women's revenge on men. It isn't that hard to figure out why women who hate men or don't like sex with men also want abortion. The sad thing is that the most glorious difference between men and women, the one that the Lord delights in, is the one thing that women want to snuff out.

Frank Drackman| 10.3.12 @ 11:12AM

Umm Abortions more like Richard Nixon's practical joke...
Or Bull Connor's(A DemoKKKrat BTW)legacy,
Seriously, 40,000,000 fewer Black Peoples? without war/plague/famine/riots?
Well, OK, maybe a few riots...

Frank

TLP| 10.3.12 @ 1:42PM

Actually, it's Premeditated Murder.

Plain and Simple.

At least where I come from, it is.

Frank Drackman| 10.3.12 @ 2:18PM

So you're from Iran?

TLP| 10.3.12 @ 4:48PM

You need to get a thicker Skin.

I was not attacking you, and I still would appreciate your Appearence at Friday's Contest.

I'm with you.

Occam's Tool| 10.3.12 @ 5:15PM

Tim: Frank does this every so often, without warning.

You, sir, kick ass. Good point that Obama wants to murder Black Babies.

TLP| 10.3.12 @ 5:53PM

He's what the French call: A Fkng @sshole.

TLP| 10.3.12 @ 5:54PM

That should've read: Le Fckng @sshole.

Bill8472| 10.4.12 @ 2:30PM

As the French might say, enculez-vous.

Lyneuss Fields | 10.3.12 @ 10:29AM

The deep psychodynamic you speak of Ben may simply be a loss of hope—disrepair so to say! I still can't see where you ever got the idea President Obama wants to unilaterally disarm America. Perhaps—as a non-practicing attorney—you could provide some evidence for your assertion.
I'll end this with a personal note. As a young child I grew up in Redondo Beach, California very close to South High School. In our small—at that time—beach community; after we said our Pledge of Allegiance, we practiced our desk diving drill. It was all about The Cold War, and we weren't like "them" because we didn't torture and it was better to let 100 guilty people go than wrongly convict one innocent person. Do you remember now Ben, and are the tears beginning to well-up in your eyes. Oh, it's probably just another ant biting you on your ass—ha, ha!
http://lyneussfields.blogspot......ammer.html

Paul McGrath| 10.3.12 @ 11:38AM

You're a bore and your blog is a bore.

TLP| 10.3.12 @ 1:43PM

He is a Bore, and a Dumb@ss, and a Waste of Oxygen.

TLP| 10.3.12 @ 1:43PM

He is a Bore, and a Dumb@ss, and a Waste of Oxygen.

TLP| 10.3.12 @ 1:44PM

I meant to do that.

Lyneuss Fields | 10.3.12 @ 3:07PM

....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`•¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.•´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...
Regards to both you knuckle dragsters!

Bill8472| 10.3.12 @ 4:43PM

You can make that highly sophisticated remark again!

Lyneuss Fields | 10.3.12 @ 3:07PM

....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`•¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.•´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...
Regards to both you knuckle dragsters!

Paul McGrath| 10.3.12 @ 3:45PM

Expected nothing better.

TLP| 10.3.12 @ 4:49PM

Isn't he Great?

Bill8472| 10.3.12 @ 4:55PM

That took one hell of a lot of effort; was it worth it?

Bill8472| 10.3.12 @ 1:30PM

You say, "I'll end this with a personal note."

Where's the beginning?

Occam's Tool| 10.3.12 @ 5:16PM

Lyneuss: Well, the vicious gouging out of our defense budget through sequestration might be one clue.

Lyneuss Fields | 10.3.12 @ 10:51PM

This was a suicide pact agreed to by both political parties including Paul Ryan.

Anthony| 10.3.12 @ 10:39AM

I bet both you and your shrink really get off when you regale him with your stories about Dotty's sexual peccadillos.
You need to invite your hero, Dominique Strauss Kahn, to your sessions, Ben. Not only will he add some French spice to this juicy mix, he'll pick up half of the shrink's tab. A two-fer if there ever was one, such a deal.
"The outcome of the election is a foregone conclusion". So Ben, what was the makeup of your polling sample, you, your shrink, and Dotty?
Will you be doing exit polls for us as well, or will Dotty be doing the polling?

Minuteman78| 10.3.12 @ 1:31PM

True, about 95% of blacks voting will vote for the Muslim Obummer, but there may be a surprising number who simply stay home due to the gay marriage flap. And many of those will be in swing states like FL, NC, and VA.

TLP| 10.3.12 @ 1:46PM

Actually, Dominique Strauss Khan will be doing the Polling.

He'll be "Polling" Dotty.

Frank Drackman| 10.3.12 @ 11:08AM

Good thing it was one of those laid-back-Spick-oli-Stoner California Ants...
Y'see, in Georgia we have these little things called "Fire" ants, imported from South America, just like my Cocaine, I mean Cocoa...and the guy who keeps my lawn Yankee-Stadium green and weedless, Pool crystal clear, and writes my Cialis scrips...
And they're called "Fire" ants because...
Well just ask my Sister in Law Ramona from The Island(who I jokingly call Raw-Moan-uh) who stepped in a mound of them and,
did I tell you that Fire Ants swarm onto any one/thing foolish enough to disturb the tranquility of the Mound?
And because there smarter than us Stew-pid RupubicKKKlans who nominated Thurston Howell IV to run against the most beatable incumbent since Jimmuh Cartuh, they all bite and sting at the same time, causing the affected extremity to feel like it's on fire.
Actually real fire doesn't hurt quite as much, you can pull your foot off of hot coals, swatting hundreds of biting ants off is a little harder...

Frank

TLP| 10.3.12 @ 1:47PM

Contest on Friday, Jack.

Frank Drackman| 10.3.12 @ 2:20PM

Oh, the "Deep throat a well-hung Honduran" that you've won for the last 20 years???
thanks, but I've got Playoff Baseball to watch.
Sure you'll lap it up though,

Frank

TLP| 10.3.12 @ 4:55PM

Okay.

I can see that we're back to Fck You, @sshole.

When you're done shoving Vegetables up your ass?

Why don't you do everyone a favour, and Pull The Trigger the next time you've got that Gun in your Mouth, ya Piece of Sh*t.

Go Fck Yourself, and your Mother, again.

Bill8472| 10.4.12 @ 11:19AM

How's the contest going? Establish any meaningful relationships yet?

C. Vernon Crisler | 10.3.12 @ 11:23AM

Ben, as one of your colleagues on one of your TV shows said, you can't raise taxes until spending is under control. If you give the government more money, it will just spend it.

Al Adab| 10.3.12 @ 11:31AM

Abortion, central control and dependency: the ultimate goals of the unelected (and sadly elected) elites. The ants fill the offices of every federal dept. and agency seeking only their own survival and well being.

nathan| 10.3.12 @ 12:22PM

On defense, even conservative members of congress have asked that DOD pass an audit. How unreasonable of them.

We go through these numbers all the time. We spend more than the next 25 I think it is countries combined and will continue to do so even under sequestration. We spend over 40 percent of the world's total funds on defense. And yes you can caveat this a little by saying that a soldier costs less in Europe than here but still we just so totally outspend the world. And be honest when you look at BHO's proposals and MR's, how much of a real difference is there? Less than people think.

But the real debate isn't the amount. It's what we buy, and why we buy it. Again do we need 700 bases? Is the role we assign ourselves, "world's policeman" necessary for our security or does it in fact make us less secure? The audit would tell us in part if we're getting the most for our money and how much is being wasted. Assuming a change in administrations then that would be a suitable time to take a look at what we're doing and see if we need to keep doing it. Every poll says Americans don't want this to be Bush II.

DesertFlower| 10.3.12 @ 1:07PM

I disagree, Ben. I don't think that an Obama/Biden win is a foregone conclusion. I think that Romney/Ryan will win. Either way, you're right that there is a lot of glory in trusting in The Lord.

Minuteman78| 10.3.12 @ 1:34PM

Agreed. Polls that consistently oversample Democrats far beyond what 2008 was show the race statistically tied. How much more skewed can you get? Also, those Polls may just be getting more Repubs angrier and MORE determined to come out and vote instead of being dispirited. That being said, Mitt needs to take the mittens off and put on some brass knuckles (figuratively speaking)

R Martin| 10.3.12 @ 2:21PM

Ben Stein...whinging about ants, wanting higher taxes and giving up on the election already. Why in the world would anyone pay him to speak at their convention?

Bill8472| 10.3.12 @ 4:44PM

Because he has an ant problem.

Frank Drackman| 10.3.12 @ 2:26PM

To: Ben Stein
From: Frank Drackman, Relationship Coach
Subj: Dotty

Its not that she's 50, drinks too much, or a slut, I mean sexually enlightened.
Its that name, "Dotty", which is almost as big an erection killer as Barbara Mikulski.
Seriously, why any chick with a perfectly hot name like "Dorothy" would go by "Dotty" is beyond me, but what do I know, I was named after a Mad Scientist's Creature, and a Vampire.

Frank

Bill8472| 10.3.12 @ 4:44PM

A good thing your last name isn't spelled "Dreckman," eh?

TLP| 10.3.12 @ 4:56PM

Ignore him.

He's a Ccksckr.

Bill8472| 10.4.12 @ 11:20AM

Projection is always a satisfying technique, isn't it?

Occam's Tool| 10.3.12 @ 5:26PM

"By the way, tomorrow I go to see my psychiatrist. I must remember to ask him why so many women who are not interested in men or sex with men are so intent about a "woman's right to choose." They won't ever be pregnant in any event. There must be some deep psychodynamic at work here, but it's too deep for me."

But not to deep for me. The problem comes from these women having fertility destructive urges stemming from envy of those women who could otherwise live fulfilling lives through raising children and being in a loving relationship with a stable man.

Personal experience: When I was dating in LA in residency, I would often set up my dates in a restaurant named "Franchrecot." (Gone now) Fantastic steaks (and pomme frites). Rationale: I always wanted to see how a woman would react to seeing me comfortable and in a supportive place. The food and atmosphere was fantastic, and many pleasurable encounters followed, but many other women could not handle seeing me comfortable because they were attracted to losers. Useful screen, as the food was always good.

My wife, by the way, loves and supports me in my work (and politics). She is a fabulous mother to my two kids, and "fantastic potential mom" pre-marital assessment by me was one of the reasons I married her.

Living in LA, Ben, is a lot like having one's head consistently shoved up one's ass.

Paul McGrath| 10.3.12 @ 7:18PM

I've spent pretty much my entire adult life in Northern California and am content here. I've always been interested in visiting Southern California, and a few years ago my wife and I finally decided to take the plunge and visited Santa Monica for about a week.

It is just an amazingly beautiful place, and most of the people were nice, but there is a certain kind of person there, a certain type of female I should say--and there are a lot of them--who are utterly and completely self-absorbed. The kind of person who would verbally assault a waiter for bringing out the salad too soon, or for finding a spot on the silverware.

They are crazy skinny, loaded with make-up, have perfect clothing, and have clearly gone through plastic surgery or -ies. Mostly, they don't smile. (I think Ben has brought this up.) Instead, they look warily about them, hoping to be offended in some way.

I was fascinated. Wow, I thought to myself. L. A.

WaffenSS| 10.8.12 @ 5:18AM

very good comment, one of my techniques was to go to church, (Mass), I'm a Catholic. You could actually see the really phuckedup ones squirm like the"Alien" when Riddly shoots the thing into space

Pelleas| 10.4.12 @ 12:54PM

"By the way, tomorrow I go to see my psychiatrist"

Make sure he either increases your meds--or changes the combination of them,so perhaps they will be somewhat effective.

Comparing the act of a young girl ( however "stunningly beautiful "she is-ya old pervert!) who kills her BORN baby, to abortion?--YOU ARE A PIG!

Not understanding why women who MIGHT not be interested in having children of their own (and HOW do you know that, eh) might support other women's right of choice?--what a SELFISH PIG YOU ARE..!

gene| 10.4.12 @ 1:01PM

You have received all kinds of advice on dealing with ants. Most deal with killing the colony and its queen. There are advertisements for compounds that ants take back to the colony and kill the queen. I've lived in the country for years and every year dealt with ants. There is a balance in nature. When you try to completely remove a part of the food chain, you create havoc everywhere. ? I never want to kill the colony. I just want them the H*ll out of my house. There are easy, harmless natural compounds that will deter ants. You can put them all around the foundation. AND then check bushes,shrubs and trim them accordingly. I once got rid of all of my ants and 2 weeks later they returned. I found out a bush in my front yard had grown long enough for a branch to touch my house above the foundation. Ant Scouts had found the "NORTHWEST PASSAGE" and were marching on this one branch. Five minutes of trimming, and spraying the ones inside the house and using natural compounds where they entered and exited and I was on top again. Enough of this killing the queen and colony nonsense. Keep the little SOB's out of the house? - Yes. A few minutes of "Googling and Surfing the Net" and you will have everything you need. I once kept these critters from crawling under my Kitchen window by applying dishwashing detergent to the sill and part of the frame. To them it was a barrier they would not cross. As for the rest of this nonsense?

Psalm 46 Verse 10 o:-D

Colleen Rodman| 10.16.12 @ 1:31PM

Love reading your stuff, question though...are you married? Do you have any children?
I understand your questions/comments, opinions, I would just like to know from what foundation they are formed. Just curious.

gene| 11.2.12 @ 4:50PM

I was not sure if this was directed toward me. I am a divorced, single parent since my daughter was 6. She is now 21.

Mnestheus| 10.17.12 @ 10:48PM

Ben might attract a better sort of ant were he to write a flattering review of E.O. Wilson's latest ant best seller .

Since there are over 150,000 species of the creatures, word of Ben's kind words would spread like wildfire over the vast blogosphere of the Ant Internet, and Santa Barbara would become an even greater magnet for pismires , comedians and entymologists.

Then Ben can call on one of the latter from UCSB to identify the creaure crawing up his arm, and if it proves nondescript, as is often the case, name it after Ben, or his dog, so we will at last have something to remember him by.

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