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Eminentoes
The Naked Prince
A culturally sensitive defense of our era’s Prince Hal.
Prince Hal isn’t very good at pool or in the pool. That’s what we learned from the third-to-the-throne’s what-happens-in-Vegas-stays-on-the-Internet vacation.
But as the parade of bikinied sweethearts crowning the British prince their Vegas king demonstrates, Harry excels by the poolside. Isn’t that the only game that matters? So primed by fairy tales overflowing with royal romance, young women forget to act like princesses when they meet an actual prince. Perhaps that’s the prince’s cue to stop acting like royalty.
When Harry challenged Olympic gold medalist Ryan Lochte to an impromptu race in the pool at the appropriately named “XS” nightclub, he forgot to remove his jeans. When he played pool with an anonymous but obviously attractive female companion, the prince forgot to keep on his jeans. The folkways of foreigners are confounding.
Englishmen, perhaps as a clever ploy to divert eyes from their teeth, love to publicly remove their garments. From Page Three Girl Samantha Fox to organ-playing Python Terry Jones, Brits just seem more comfortable in the buff. It’s their natural state, one might say. Even David Niven appeared unperturbed by that streaker who crashed his Academy Awards presentation.
We don’t get the English. We barely even speak it, which is why when Prince Harry gets buck naked TMZ, the Huffington Post, and E! report on the prince’s butt naked antics. Americans can’t hope to understand their culture before we understand their language.
I grasped our ignorance of the mother country while serving alongside British Royal Marines for three weeks at Camp Shelby, Mississippi, during the summer of Prince Harry’s mum’s death. News of Princess Diana’s passing crushed the Brits, which struck me as strange given that she was a stranger to them. This proved to me that I was a stranger to them, too.
The Marines’ Captain — the same rank that Prince Harry now holds in the British Army — forfeited his credit card so his charges could call home. They appeared more dejected by the event that rocked their homeland than by the humidity rolling us. The motley martial mob used their day of liberty to blow off steam at a bar in Nowheresville, Mississippi, where one of the Royal Marines called “naked bar.” This drinking game/dare required his cohorts to disrobe and imbibe their beers atop the bar.
In America, naked is for the bathroom and the bedroom. For British servicemen, who perhaps cannot help but go native defending all those colonies, naked is for the barroom, too. The backwoods barkeep kicked them out.
Can you believe the cultural insensitivity?
Americans don’t get nudity. Americans don’t get royalty. Prince Harry’s Vegas adventure, and the Royal Marines’ in Mississippi, each proved a perfect storm of American Anglophobia.
The one aspect of English culture that Americans understand is Shakespeare. Perhaps this is because Shakespeare so understands us, i.e., human beings. If we feel as though we’ve met Prince Hal before, it is because Shakespeare introduced us to him 400-or-so years ago.
In literature, Prince Hal was that fun-loving dauphin who cavorted with raconteurs, thieves, and ne’er-do-wells. But princes grow up to become kings, so Henry V ditches the “misleaders” who played “the tutor and the feeder of my riots.” He coolly washes his hands of the condemned church looter Bardolph in Henry V and at the conclusion of Henry IV, Part 2 bade Falstaff adieu.
Presume not that I am the thing I was;
For God doth know, so shall the world perceive,
That I have turn’d away my former self;
So will I those that kept me company.
Alas, in fairy tales princes have actual obligations. Real life is more of a fairy tale than the fairy tales. This Prince Hal has more money than that Prince Hal. But he doesn’t have a slither of the power. Why act responsibly when you don’t have any responsibilities?
The similarities between King Henry V and the would-be King Henry IX only go so far.
If the prince’s decadent Vegas vacation leaves you to proclaim that royalty ain’t what it used to be, do remember that this is because royalty ain’t what it used to be.
About the Author
Daniel J. Flynn, the author of The War on Football: Saving America’s Game, blogs at www.flynnfiles.com.
Letter to the Editor View all comments (12) | Leave a comment
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Appleby| 8.31.12 @ 7:01AM
One more example of Toddler Liberation. I have photos of my nephew, now 30 years old, streaking through my apartment at the age of 2, wearning nothing but a fireman's helmet and a smile. My neice, a married woman with two lovely sons, used to appear in the buff at the same age, streaking through her Mama's house shouting, "Nekkid baby! Nekkid baby!" Both of them outgrew this tendency before they turned 3.
KyMouse| 8.31.12 @ 9:49AM
Harry will turn 28 on September 15. In most cultures, he would be married with children by now.
Time to grow up, Harry. One of the many things that distinguish adults from toddlers is the confidence that a good time can be had even when one is clothed.
There are many things that would be more fun to do than behave in a grown-up, dignified manner, even at a party. However, adults must learn to control their most childish impulses, even when they would prefer not to.
You are a grown man who can have almost anything in life that you want, at the expense of your taxpaying subjects. At least try to behave as if you are worth their tribute.
Bob Grant| 8.31.12 @ 12:32PM
Well put.
Pelleas| 8.31.12 @ 7:14AM
And this is "News" or "Important" , BECAUSE...(WHY)???
Prince Harry is just "the spare"..NOT THE "heir"..so WHO (really) CARES..?!?
Alan| 8.31.12 @ 7:45AM
The guy's not married and thats what you go to Vegas for in the first place. At least he's not a carbon copy of his father who must be one of the least interesting and most boring and stogy people on earth. Bravo to the kid.
Cpm| 8.31.12 @ 11:08PM
His father was Diana's red-headed bodyguard, and Harry is his spitting image.
tckj| 8.31.12 @ 11:30AM
Oh come on, give the kid a break. As a veteran yourself you should know the troops need to unwind. Here you have a handsome, rich, single G.I., far from home, getting ready to deploy --- what else should he be doing? Hell, if he needs a 50 year-old 'watcher' with combat experience, I'm his guy.
Bob Grant| 8.31.12 @ 12:37PM
Although I generally agree with Ky's sentiments, it's a shame that in today's world one cannot "let their hair down" with having it taped via some clown's phone.
What's worse, in many cases it's profitable to record what others are doing, especially celebs.
Sadly, respect for others' privacy no longer exists. It's almost seems quaint to certain generations.
This most certainly is not good for society in general.
Cpm| 8.31.12 @ 11:11PM
He hung out with whores, and all whores can be bought.
Carroll | 8.31.12 @ 11:30PM
From Page Three Girl Samantha Fox to organ-playing Python Terry Jones, Brits just seem more comfortable in the buff. It's their natural state, one might say. Even David Niven appeared unperturbed by that streaker who crashed his Academy Awards presentation.
Mistral| 9.2.12 @ 3:07AM
The British Army is completely against any of its soldiers drawing attention to themselves in public unnecessarily. This is an essential element of British Army discipline: totally unlike US troops perhaps. His commanding officer has probably given him a serious upbraiding for this. For example, drunkeness or other behaviour which places soldiers in a negative public light could provoke a sensitive security situation. Also, he belongs to a high profile family who do receive public funding in part. His mother is the height of discretion with a profound sense of duty. therefore, following her example he has to learn to be more discreet about who he chooses as friends; avoid stupid situations that are tailor-made to put someone in the public eye in a very compromised position as he was here.
Trying to laugh this off as a normal act of any so-called young person (as though he is a teenager) is a refusal to accept one's responsibilities and to behave in a mature manner. Public morality appears to have sunk so low that few can see how damaging this type of behaviour is once it gets into the public domain. How this can improve the public image of the monarchy in UK is beyond any reasonable understanding.
Carroll | 9.2.12 @ 10:38PM
during the summer of Prince Harry's mum's death. News of Princess Diana's passing crushed the Brits, which struck me as strange given that she was a stranger to them. This proved to me that I was a stranger to them, too.