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Loose Canons
Clint’s Speech
A special Convention edition of Loose Canons.
Rumors of tonight’s mystery speaker at the Republican National Convention have resolved themselves around the former mayor of Carmel, California. No, not the late Sonny Bono: Dirty Harry Callahan, aka Clint Eastwood.
Thanks to an inside source, we are able to release early the text of that speech, leaked to us by an almost reliable source.
Feelin’ lucky, folks? Well, you should. We’re standing here on the last night of the convention and we’re sitting pretty. Our nominee, Mitt Romney, is running against the most beatable incumbent since Jimmy Carter. Matter of fact, this Obama guy makes the old peanut farmer look like a genius. Yes, Obama is that bad.
A man’s gotta know what his limitations are. President Obama thinks he doesn’t have any. Unfortunately for us and our allies, every jackass from Vladimir Putin to whichever Kim Whatever is ruling North Korea knows what Obama’s limitations are. They only gave me five minutes to talk here, so I can’t list them all. That would take hours.
So let’s all make a vow to ourselves and our children right now. On November 6, let’s all turn out to vote and get everyone we know to the polls even if we have to carry them on our backs. It will be a great day for America if we do that. So go ahead, friends. On November 6, go ahead: make my day.
About the Author
Jed Babbin served as a Deputy Undersecretary of Defense under George H.W. Bush. He is the author of several bestselling books including Inside the Asylum and In the Words of Our Enemies. You can follow him on Twitter @jedbabbin.
Letter to the Editor View all comments (20) | Leave a comment
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Appleby| 8.30.12 @ 7:33AM
Clint Eastwood? I'm betting it's Donald Trump. Or maybe Ben Stein.
Minuteman78| 8.30.12 @ 8:35AM
If it's Clint, it'll be fascinating. if it's the Donald, I'm betting on a baseball-bat-type takedown of Obozo. If it's Ben Stein, I think I'll shoot my television first, and then myself.
Roscoe| 8.30.12 @ 12:00PM
Ben Stein. And you're serious. Time for less med's, or new ones.
Granny Jan and Jihad Kitt | 8.30.12 @ 7:41AM
It's Dirty Barry vs Dirty Harry ~ November 6, 2012
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vb3pyGILPm4
I'm ready for the mystery guest.
Nancy in NC| 8.30.12 @ 9:48AM
I vote for Clint.
And Jed, your speech is great! I can hear Zero shaking in his boots from here. Made my day!
Ken (Old Texican)| 8.30.12 @ 10:24AM
on debate night...a simple phonecall to Obama: "OK Punk, do you feel lucky?
Personally, I don't believe Obama wants to show up,.
CJW| 8.30.12 @ 10:55AM
Mystery speaker is Bill Clinton. He will speak at both conventions
Louis Jenkins| 8.30.12 @ 10:59AM
We'll see who the mystery guest is tonight. Maybe it will be Dirty Harry.
Who Knows?| 8.30.12 @ 11:14AM
Nah, it’s not going to be Clint.
My bet is it’ll be Forrest Gump.
cowgirl| 8.30.12 @ 11:28AM
At least Forest Gump has a higher IQ than Obummer and would be more than willing to release his transcripts from Occidental, Harvard and Columbia...
Who Knows?| 8.30.12 @ 11:52AM
Right on!
RJ| 8.30.12 @ 11:40AM
It seems that the speakers have been told to refer to Obama as "President Obama." I don't know what they think that gets them. To me, making that concession in a campaign just makes Romney subservient when the two candidates are supposed to be equal. Clinton never referred to GHWB as "Mr. President" in a campaign setting.
DesertFlower| 8.30.12 @ 2:08PM
"Clinton never referred to GHWB as 'Mr. President' in a campaign setting." Because he is no gentleman and has no class. Republicans tend to be gentlemen and gentlewomen and thus will accord the office of the presidency the respect that it merits -- no matter what they may think of the individual currently holding the office.
Bill8472| 9.1.12 @ 3:27PM
Honor means you behave well when nobody is looking.
David| 8.30.12 @ 4:50PM
One of the articles on Am Spec earlier this week mentioned the likely 5 who would/could be the mystery guest.
I would not mind seeing Tim Tebow or Clint. I would not want to see Powell.
Too bad Magaret Thatcher is suffering from dementia, or she would be my guess and who I would want to see as the mystery guest.
ebonystone| 8.30.12 @ 9:03PM
I guess a lot of fans identify Clint with Dirty Harry, but I alwas thought he was best in the spaghetti westerns as the serape-clad, cheroot-chewing "man with no name."
Bill8472| 9.1.12 @ 3:26PM
"There's two kinds of men in the world: those with shovels and those who dig."
"Blondeeeee!"
Mnestheus| 8.31.12 @ 12:29AM
Nobody ever called Clint a tea totalitarian cigarette-snuffer who couldn't take the bra off a debutante.
Or Dole for that matter.
Unless Mitt puts the entire electorate to sleep, he's toast.
Bill8472| 9.1.12 @ 3:24PM
Sadly, Clint Eastwood's speech at the Republican National Convention was rambling and largely pointless. It was noticeable how he, at times, lost the thread of his thought. His speech reflected painfully that he has lived 82 years and is ready to be put out to pasture. I used to watch Clint Eastwood when he played Rowdy Yates on TV, when Rawhide was in its first run, and that's a considerable time, heck I noticed him when he had the ten-second moment in Tarantula! as a jet fighter pilot. It's time for Clint to begin drawing his retirement.
Mickle | 9.4.12 @ 3:41AM
And yes I said Curious George; Clint Eastwood's speech has them so disturbed because it was a knockout punch: it's now OK to ridicule Obama, the absurd cipher who occupies the office.