A special Convention edition of Loose Canons.
Rumors of tonight’s mystery speaker at the Republican National Convention have resolved themselves around the former mayor of Carmel, California. No, not the late Sonny Bono: Dirty Harry Callahan, aka Clint Eastwood.
Thanks to an inside source, we are able to release early the text of that speech, leaked to us by an almost reliable source.
Feelin’ lucky, folks? Well, you should. We’re standing here on the last night of the convention and we’re sitting pretty. Our nominee, Mitt Romney, is running against the most beatable incumbent since Jimmy Carter. Matter of fact, this Obama guy makes the old peanut farmer look like a genius. Yes, Obama is that bad.
A man’s gotta know what his limitations are. President Obama thinks he doesn’t have any. Unfortunately for us and our allies, every jackass from Vladimir Putin to whichever Kim Whatever is ruling North Korea knows what Obama’s limitations are. They only gave me five minutes to talk here, so I can’t list them all. That would take hours.
So let’s all make a vow to ourselves and our children right now. On November 6, let’s all turn out to vote and get everyone we know to the polls even if we have to carry them on our backs. It will be a great day for America if we do that. So go ahead, friends. On November 6, go ahead: make my day.
A man of faith in a godless age is hitting Americans where it hurts.
Mr. and Mrs. American Spectator Reader, let P.J. O’Rourke talk sense to your kids.
In Britain, defending your property can get you life.
The debacle of this president’s administration is both a cause and a symptom of the decline of American values. Unless Congress impeaches him, that decline will go on unchecked. An eminent jurist surveys the damage and assesses the chances for the recovery of our culture.
It won’t take long for conservatives to scratch this presidential wannabe off their 2008 scorecard.
The American Christmas, like the songs that celebrate it, makes room for everybody under the rainbow. Is that why so many people seem to be hostile to it?
Was the President done in by the economy, or by the politics of the economy?