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Sports Arena
Were You Thinking What I Was Thinking?
The sexual undertones of the Olympics are now so blatant that some viewers don’t care who wins — they just stare.
Okay, we all know that the London Olympics were successful and full of great surprises. Good for the winners, bad for the losers. But toward the end, it was getting more and more difficult to concentrate on fractions of seconds or bits of centimeters. Official swimsuits and track garb have shrunk below bikini size and were enough to set public fantasies racing.
This was possibly the sexiest Olympics yet, flesh everywhere and proud of it — the best legal turn-on since the tutu hit the Royal Ballet.
I watched the whole show on French television where coverage was focused on events the French had a chance of winning. We probably got a larger dose of the fleshmarket than American viewers. I have heard very little criticism of the erotic undertones, but then we have a habit of saying one thing and thinking another.
I know grown men and a few women who sat in the privacy of their living rooms watching the competitions and let their minds roam as the athletes strutted their well-toned bodies in public. The swimmers stripped off ostentatiously and we wondered where they would stop. The public rinsing was even more provocative. Our eyes took in the women’s six-packs, the men’s muscle definition and the very skimpy and stretchy national running suits wrapped around the gorgeous blondes of East Europe, Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine. They almost never won except in men’s minds. And those synchronized divers — were they wearing thongs? Something very close to that.
Nothing beat the high jump in which girls landed on their necks and did a slow roll backwards. The camera innocently followed every second, then reran it in slow motion.
The women viewers got their share, too. A single mother of my acquaintance says she was caught staring at Trey Hardee, the 6-foot-5 U.S. decathlon competitor, as he limbered up for a run. Her 9-year-old son said, “Mom, why are you looking at him like that?”
Another woman friend admitted to me, “I couldn’t take my eyes off this show. I didn’t even care who won.”
One office worker tells of watching a colleague stare transfixed at the television in the company cafeteria. It was a women’s beach volleyball match and his mouth was hanging open. “He couldn’t have been that interested in the score — they weren’t even Americans,” she said. She looked in on him out 20 minutes later and he hadn’t budged. He never got around to his lunch.
British sprinter Linford Christie seems to have started the overt sexual strutting when in the 1992 Olympics he ran the 100 meters in Lycra shorts. The Sun newspaper in London immortalized the sight as “Linford’s lunchbox.” Ever since, suits have gotten steadily tighter and skimpier.
One has to pity the poor men from the Middle East who rarely see more than an ankle or a wrist. They must have been cross-eyed with frustration. Now they are starting to send their women into competition, albeit wearing ample cover, at least for now.
Where is this leading? We will find out when Brazil hosts the games. They are miles ahead of us. They invented the string bikini. The Gillette women’s Venus razor (“Reveal the goddess in you”) should do very well in 2016.
Letter to the Editor View all comments (43) | Leave a comment
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Appleby| 8.17.12 @ 7:16AM
Well, back in the day, the Olympics were performed in Nekkidness. Looks as if they're headed back that way. And you didn't even mention the "mascot" that looks very obviously like the male sexual equipment. Personally I didn't watch anything but the gymnastics and the bicycle racing and I didn't see anything I had never seen before. I did object to the hairy armpits of the men performing on the Rings. Personally I find hairy armpits disgusting. But that's why Canada has the Olympics on six different channels, so one can flip over to something less disgusting when necessary.
Alan Obama Fan Brooks | 8.17.12 @ 7:52PM
Not an important topic.
Frekki| 8.17.12 @ 10:58PM
Then shut up.
Aristocat| 8.18.12 @ 4:59AM
They ruined the Olympics by allowing the billionaire NBA thugs to represent the USA...It used to be limited to amateurs & was the thrill of a lifetime for college athlets to compete...Now every four years we have to watch LBJ and the rapist Kobe....What a disgrace ! Like there was any question about who would win...
At least Olympic soccer has 23-year old age limit.
They're doing the same thing with winter Olympic hockey....Letting the same NHL goons compete every year, now using NHL refs to install boring NHL-style hockey...
Alan Obama Fan Brooks | 8.19.12 @ 6:10PM
"Then shut up."
Ladies first.
Mick Lee| 8.17.12 @ 7:30AM
Any right minded human being knows that the bikini is the most important invention and accomplishment of the twentieth century. On the other hand, there is something wrong when our lady Olympians have to get Brazilian waxes to compete in the long jump.
By the way, did anyone else take note when the women drivers stretched out their swimsuits to relieve discomfort around their breasts and “promised lands”. I understand that when clothing begins to cut into their private parts, women have to do some adjusting. But who expected NBC to give us a peep show every time these young women faced a choice between pain and public exhibition and they opted for the later?
John786| 8.17.12 @ 8:06AM
The lack of clothing is problematic especially to some Muslim female athletes. There is the tragic case of the leading woman boxer in Jordan not allowed to compete by the boxing federation due to her wearing the hijab. On a positive note looking at all the fit athletes has motivated me to start exercising to remove the oversized gut ( too graphic I know) I've been carrying literally forever. Will start after Ramadan Inshalah.
Stormy| 8.17.12 @ 8:59AM
Five words says it all: Dutch Women's Field Hockey Team.
Frank Drackman| 8.17.12 @ 9:05AM
FINALLY,
a fellow Women's High-Jump Afish-i-anado...
but the network showed like 10 minutes of the finals, no preliminaries, no heart-rending background pieces, on MY fave, the Israeli chick who looked suspiciously like one of the team who tookout Mahmoud-al Mahmoud a few years back...
seriously, 2 Americans in the finale, and it was over faster than a Cubs inning...
Frank
Bill8472| 8.17.12 @ 9:06AM
This concern over the skimpiness of the outfits the athletes wore in the Olympics would be more compelling if it weren't the case that the original Olympics, in ancient Greece, featured NAKED athletes.
Frank Drackman| 8.17.12 @ 10:53AM
watta ya expect, the Greeks were Ho-Mos...
Who else wants to watch a bunch of naked dudes Squatting?
Frank
Pecos Pete| 8.17.12 @ 9:31AM
Now you tell me! I didn't watch any of the Olympics, rats!
John Navratil| 8.17.12 @ 9:58AM
Pecos Pete,
Yep! They lost me just after singing "Jerusalem". Do they sell an "Olympic's Gone Wild" DVD?
THKrupp| 8.17.12 @ 9:50AM
Im not sure why its such a concern. Many of the suits or uniforms worn also give a competitive edge, however slight. Is everyone really so offended by the sight of the human body?
Frank Drackman| 8.17.12 @ 10:55AM
Yes.
3 Words:
Diane
Feinstein
Thong.
Frank
THKrupp| 8.17.12 @ 11:03AM
LOL Indeed
Minuteman78| 8.17.12 @ 11:38AM
Oh my word...I'd need to soak my eyeballs in Clorox to get that vision out of my head...
c. j. acworth| 8.17.12 @ 10:05AM
I've been more concerned about the extreme youth of the female gymnasts. Am I the only one who thinks the target audiance is pedophiles?
THKrupp| 8.17.12 @ 10:32AM
They are all above the age of 16
Frank Drackman| 8.17.12 @ 10:58AM
Well, Duh, you have to be over 16 to be considered a Pedophile.
And I remember how dissapointed I was when my daughters were born, No Little League Games, Football, inadvertantly walking in while they were competing to see who could do the best fake Orgasm....
Frank
Alej| 8.17.12 @ 7:51PM
You are as sick as the author.
DougieFresh| 8.17.12 @ 11:05AM
At first glance the pic accompanying this article looked to me like twin male organs...suspended in mid air. Look again.
Mistral| 8.17.12 @ 11:11AM
naked by 2020
pigdog| 8.17.12 @ 11:52AM
The Olympics has women's beach volleyball? Maybe I'll check out the Summer games next time around. I enjoy the mixed pairs figure skating in the Winter games. How about un-mixed pairs female gymnastics?
Marie| 8.17.12 @ 12:16PM
I didn't watch the London games and will not watch Brazil's games either. I simply don't care if someone can jump over a hurdle. Good for them, but why in the heck should they get a medal for that? Tax payer dollars is more wasted than used appropriately anymore. It's sick.
THKrupp| 8.17.12 @ 12:30PM
I may be wrong but I dont think the athletes receive tax payer dollars. Except of course when the US hosts the games. The US Olympic committee is a non profit organization.
Tom Kyba| 8.17.12 @ 12:33PM
Beach vollyball pee-uke. A bunch of stick insects who should not be wearing bikinis.
Butch| 8.17.12 @ 5:59PM
Kinda agree with you, Tom. One problem is that all these female athletes have such a small amount of body fat that their two most important sets of secondary sex characteristics are too small. Nice legs, though.
AhiaBoy| 8.18.12 @ 9:52AM
Agree to that. Female athletes have never interested me. Their buff muscled physiques look more like guys going transgender than what appeals to me about women.
Petronius| 8.17.12 @ 12:38PM
Maybe the IOC should add fashion judges and award points for how well the chicletes fill out their spandex. Same for male swimmers and divers. They can get package pluses. Better yet, let the viewers tweet their marks too. Are we having fun yet? Maybe Letterman can tell you. He made a big deal of the gymnasts attire.
Dave Williams| 8.17.12 @ 12:44PM
Human bodies are glorious, wonderful, amazing things, and I for one am not the LEAST offended by seeing them...especially bodies who can do things far beyond the abilities of 99% of the population. Chill out, America...read a little Whitman...in the cosmic scheme of things, a display of flesh (of which we are all made, btw, and than which there is nothing more natural) ranks very, very low on the scale of upsetting occurrences, no?
cuban pete| 8.17.12 @ 5:09PM
I'm from Chicago and can't wait until the Games are here. Last I heard Barack Obama himself had lobbied the selection committee and the Games were coming here. I know just the force of his intelligence and personality is all that was needed to insure Chicago would host the Olympics...
Alej| 8.17.12 @ 7:50PM
What a stupid article. Mr. Johnson, seek help.
gray man| 8.21.12 @ 1:16AM
what a stupid comment. alej seek help.
Stuart Koehl| 8.17.12 @ 9:16PM
Homi soit qui mal y pense.
John Navratil| 8.18.12 @ 12:47PM
Don't be dissin' my homie ;)
Bob James| 8.17.12 @ 10:45PM
Oh, they had another Olympics?
ebonystone| 8.18.12 @ 10:36PM
Yeah, an Olympics. I heard about them. Are they over already? Who won? I bet it was the guy who had the monopoly on Boardwalk and Park Place -- that's usually enough to win.
TruSkeptik| 8.18.12 @ 7:24AM
On this rather peculiar topic, I wonder if anyone has ever explained to Gabby just why she is nicknamed the "flying squirrel". This may be inartful of me, but that young lady sports the pudenda of a woman at least three times her size. Jeez.
aware| 8.18.12 @ 8:13AM
I find the overt Masonic symbolism more worrying than the skin.
JimH| 8.18.12 @ 10:35AM
Could be worse, remember the East German woman's teams? They had 5 o'clock shadows and pronounced Adam's apples.
Butch| 8.18.12 @ 4:35PM
When I was a kid, there was also a Russian women's shotputter who was highly suspect. I think they had to establish some controls, but I don't remember exactly.
lightening| 8.19.12 @ 1:09PM
I didn't watch the Olympics. Won't own a TV. Quite stunning, myself. But here's the deal: If your eye offends you, pluck it out. NOT LITERALLY.