So here we were again, sleepily slogging through the dog days of
summer in another election year, only to be awakened by the
announcement of Mitt Romney’s choice of his running mate. Returning
home from a wedding Friday night, in the early morning hours I
turned on the TV to hear the news that Paul Ryan was to be the man.
On hearing of Ryan’s selection, I felt like singing: He’s got the
cool, clear, eyes of a seeker of wisdom and truth. Then there’s the
upturned chin and the grin of impetuous youth. In short, I believe
in him.
But of course, not all the folks in this country felt the same
way. You see, according to the powers that be, Congressman Ryan is,
either the most frightening human being on the face of this Earth,
or a total pushover who will indubitably send the R&R ticket to
certain defeat. How can these seemingly mutually exclusive theories
be correct? Welcome to the loony land of liberal logic.
On the one hand, they posit that Ryan, because of his age and
experience, has little or no foreign policy credibility; as if you
need little more than a pulse to fulfill that requirement as it
pertains to the veep spot. How do I know this? Joe Biden is the
sitting Vice President. No, the far more serious charge, indeed,
the left’s favorite talking point, is the old liberal standby: the
man is just plain scary.
Second only to the one-two punch of racial and class warfare,
the “scary” charge is the arrow Democrats most often pull from
their depleted quiver in national elections. Time and time again,
all who would seek elective office with an “R” next to their names
are made out to be the most horrifying bogeymen known to man or
beast. And indeed, the GOP has managed to turn out such terrifying
characters as:
Rick Santorum: A man whose visage encompasses all the sinister
characteristics of your friendly neighborhood choirboy, was
particularly singled out for demonhood by the liberal slander
machine. After all, who wouldn’t be terrified by a man who loves
children and fights for the rights of unborn babies.
Newt Gingrich: A scholar and historian of such intellectual
magnitude who, had he not chosen to dedicate his talents to the
dark and menacing precepts of the U.S. Constitution, would have
graced the pantheon of liberal talking head-dom with the likes of
trustworthy chroniclers such as Doris Kearns Goodwin and Joseph
Ellis.
Dick Cheney: Someone who, when not dancing in the nightmares of
liberal fear-mongers, could pass for your kindly old Uncle Al —
that curmudgeonly family treasure who has forgotten more than most
people know about the things that really count — with a smile that
could melt butter; or, as conjured by the tortured imaginations of
Democrats, turn his trusty shotgun on your wife and kiddies at a
moment’s notice, blowing them away for target practice.
Donald Rumsfeld: Who could easily pass for a wise and beloved
college professor or maybe a trusted and steely-eyed brain surgeon
were he not, in the minds of Democrat spin-doctors, ever occupied
with devising ways of obliterating half of the known world just for
fun.
Sarah Palin: A sweet lady who, were she not so superbly versed
in the ways of liberty and truth, would be the idol of liberal
women everywhere; a role model who would undoubtedly command a
seven figure salary for her own daytime TV show. But alas, when
depicted by the poisonous pens of liberal punditry, she becomes a
bespectacled Cruella De Vil; a vicious monster who eagerly devours
children and small pets.
George W. Bush: A man so threatening to the free world, so full
of devilish plans for conquest, rape and pillage, that he was
regularly in bed by 10:00 PM. This terrifying frat boy/country
bumpkin so terrified liberal journalists, that the mere thought of
visiting his dark and foreboding fortress in Crawford, TX had them
recoiling in dread.
Ronald Wilson Reagan: In the days before Hollywood stars became
mouthpieces of the left and therefore beloved, President Reagan was
considered to be no more than an actor reading lines, and a scary
one at that. After all, this crazy cowboy—who, in his twisted and
xenophobic love for America, had the nerve to call the USSR an
“evil empire”—had his finger on “the button.”
All objects of fear to be sure. But they may have a point. Taken
together: the passion for virtue of Santorum, the constitutional
brilliance of Gingrich, the industrious wisdom of Cheney, the
laser-like diligence of Rumsfeld, the candor of Palin, the
determination of Bush, and the patriotism of Reagan form something
we on the right recognize as conservatism; truly something for
liberal, American socialists to fear.
