The American Spectator : Fifty Shades of Beige

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Fifty Shades of Beige

By Daniel J. Flynn on 8.10.12 @ 6:08AM

In which I read an awful (but bestselling) bondage romance novel… so that you don’t have to.

Fifty Shades of Grey
By E.L. James
(Vintage,  528 pages, $15.95)

Fifty Shades of Grey, the flagship novel of a trilogy that has sold 40 million books worldwide, has sex appeal in a Lilith Fair kind of way — that is, it appeals exclusively to women. As far as stoking erotic fires, Fifty Shades of Grey is fifty shades of boring.

The BDSM-themed romance novel is certainly racy. It just isn’t very sexy. The trysts between the domineering mogul Christian Grey and the innocent coed Anastasia Steele generally aren’t spontaneous. Consent decrees and condoms pass for foreplay.

Encounters are often legalistic, reminiscent of the late Antioch College’s infamous “May I kiss you here? May I poke you there?” Sexual Offense Prevention Policy. And too-conspicuous condoms kill the mood. “‘Naughty, sweet girl,’ he whispers, and then reaches over to the bedside table for a foil packet” (p. 120); “‘Here, put this on.’ He hands me a foil packet” (p. 266); “‘You want it, you got it, baby,’ he mutters, producing a foil packet from his pants pocket while he unzips his pants” (p. 371). It goes on joylessly like that for 500 pages. If fiction has the power to make the son of a “crack whore” a twentysomething billionaire, then surely it can forgo the rubber without dooming the lead characters to deterioration in an AIDS hospice.

Elsewhere, the unromantic romance novel reads like any of the lesser-known volumes in the genre. A staple of the trade is the sexual euphemism, which the pseudonymous E.L. James employs to describe “the junction of my thighs” and “the entrance of my sex.” Signs abound that writing it required only slightly longer than reading it does. During the couple’s first sex session, Steele finds herself “shattering into a thousand pieces.” During their second one, she notices herself “splintering into a million pieces.” She discovers in her beau’s sex dungeon “ornately carved poles,” a table’s “intricately carved legs,” and an “ornately carved” bed frame with “intricately carved posts.” The verbiage is often ornate but never intricate.

Can a book at once appeal to women and antagonize feminists? “I can do this,” protagonist Anastasia Steele assures herself. “I can f—- him with my mouth.” Grrrl Power?

Alas, the literary phenomenon may be more about men than women.

Christian Grey is everything that modern feminism says, in some instances quite sensibly, that women do not want in a man. He hovers over his love interest at the dinner table, commanding that she clean her plate. He puts a track on her cell phone. He unnervingly shows up unexpectedly wherever she goes. He beats her, albeit in a consenting-adults sort of way. He is a restraining order waiting to happen, but yet the women in his life order, nay beg, him to put them in restraints.

The leading man is a leading man. He is assertive, aggressive, all alpha-male. Christian Grey is a strikingly handsome 27-year-old self-made tycoon with abs. We know he drives an Audi, drinks Hendrick’s gin, listens to Kings of Leon, and loves sadism. Other than that, we don’t know much. He is all caricature, no character — an ubermensch hero cut out of an Ayn Rand novel. We meet Christian Greys rarely elsewhere in literature and never in life.

Christian Grey might be interpreted as the result of the failure of feminism. But he is really a comment on the crisis of American masculinity. When Steele asks, “You want to play on your Xbox”? Grey laughs, “No, Anastasia, no Xbox, no Playstation. Come.” He’s not like the other loser suitors that Steele, or the female readers projecting themselves upon Steele, encounter. When the dating world offers guys addicted to role-playing video games, imaginary internet sex, and delusion-inducing chemicals, the romance genre can’t help but again romanticize the silver-back billionaire — even one who believes choke chains, rather than diamonds, are a girl’s best friend. He’s an exaggerated male in a world of weakling males.

This juxtaposition, more than anything else, explains the book’s popularity. Women certainly aren’t reading it for the English author’s Dickensian character development or Shakespearean wit.

“I did follow my heart,” Miss Steele reflects near book’s end, “and I have a sore ass and an anguished, broken spirit to show for it. I have to go.” I did follow the crowd in reading Fifty Shades of Grey, and I have a sore head and an anguished, though not quite broken, spirit to show for it. I have to go, too: far away from the sequels, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed.

Sex is better experienced than described.

About the Author

Daniel J. Flynn is the author of Blue Collar Intellectuals: When the Enlightened and the Everyman Elevated America. He blogs at www.flynnfiles.com.

Letter to the Editor View all comments (71) | Leave a comment Leave a comment

woodwork| 8.10.12 @ 8:22AM

Schlock.

Forty million copies have been sold! Well, at least these women are reading porno instead of watching it on their computer screens.

It's a porno world!

The following is taken from the ABC News documentary "Porn in the USA."

"Those states that do consume the most porn tend to be more conservative and religious than states with lower levels of consumption, the study finds.

"Some of the people who are most outraged turn out to be consumers of the very things they claimed to be outraged by," Edelman says.

Surprised? I'm not. Why? Liberals tend to be repulsed by the depravity of porn, whereas religious conservatives are really turned on by the depravity--the filthier the better for them. The "sex is dirty" admonishment is deeply rooted in their brains.

Many liberals, generally speaking, cannot tolerate the degradation of women seen in porn, whereas religious conservatives, believing in what the Bible teaches about the subjugation of women, rarely object to this ugly aspect of pornography.

And now porno--filthier and more violent than you can imagine-- is widely available to children. It's just a mouse-click away.

Ever notice how silent religious conservatives are on this issue?

Bob Grant| 8.10.12 @ 9:17AM

You cant possibly be serious?

KyMouse| 8.10.12 @ 9:19AM

Nonsense, Woodwork. Religious conservatives often speak out on this very issue. For example, "Citizen" magazine, a publication of Focus on the Family, has warned about it.

Such sources point out that pornography treats women like objects -- men don't need to know their names, much less treat them with respect and care about them -- and therefore become unable or unwilling to treat real women well.

What is your source, other than your own prejudice and one TV show, for your belief that "religious conservatives are really turned on by the depravity"?

"...what the Bible teaches about the subjugation of women..." If you are thinking of Ephesians 5:22 -- "Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as to the Lord." Most people forget verses 25 and 28 -- "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it...So men ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife, loves himself."

MK48| 8.10.12 @ 5:08PM

KyMouse........why do you resond to this moron Woodwork.

With what he posted he either is a complete MINDLESS/POS or he has nothing better to do than sit in front of his moms computer holding his wood in one hand and with the other typing.

jothepro| 8.10.12 @ 10:19AM

So ABC news had a documentary that showed conservatives are perverts. ABC news found that conservatives and Christians are the scum of the earth. WOW!! Who woulda thought that liberals are more pure than conservatives. Hey woodwork, Do you have anything else to enlighten us perverts?

Poppakap| 8.10.12 @ 11:22AM

This is perhaps the stupidest, projection-based comment I've ever read. It doesn't even warrant the data proving it's utter nonsense.

Alan Obama Fan Brooks | 8.10.12 @ 2:02PM

For once, I agree with Flynn,
'obscenity'/porn is boring-- and it might be a positive that it is, because if it were high "quality" there would be no weaning teens and young adults away from it. Nor dirty old men like you and I (if you oldies-but-moldies harbor erotic thoughts you have already sinned by Christian lights).

Alan Obama Fan Brooks | 8.10.12 @ 3:47PM

.. the Bible says that if you look at a woman with lust, you have already sinned-- by your v. own Christian standards you must know God is no respecter of persons.

MK48| 8.10.12 @ 5:17PM

AOFB........"God is no respector of persons".

You are a DS and have no clue.

Boy this topic has uncovered some real cockroaches.

KyMouse| 8.12.12 @ 8:17AM

AOFB, as every Christian knows, Christians are sinners. Every one of us. But when we repent and put our faith (obedient trust) in Jesus, we gain the Holy Spirit's help in fighting the temptation to sin, so that we can live our lives in a way which pleases Him and helps other people.

When we sin, we repent and do our best not to sin again, with the Holy Spirit's help.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us." -- I John 1:9

Soundstorm| 8.12.12 @ 7:02PM

Liberals create ugly degrading pornography and their customer base is in no way Conservative. Drop by Spartacus next time you're in Portland Oregon if you think otherwise.

M. Prescott| 8.10.12 @ 8:38AM

From SEX IN CHRIST: Sexuality According to the Word of God

This site (Google it) advocates "Christian" porn! Here's a tiny sample:

Toward a Framework for Christian Porn

It must depict only married couples engaging in sexual acts. This means that any sexual partners in a Christian porn production must be husband and wife, both on and off screen. All actors must be married in real life and portray married couples onscreen. And they must only be depicted having sex with their wedded spouses.

It must portray sex within the context of a Christian marriage. It must be apparent through the actions, behaviors, and speech of the characters portrayed that they are Christian, lead a Christian lifestyle, and have a marriage in which their faith is central. This could be depicted in a variety of ways, with scenes showing a couple praying together, studying the Bible, attending church or church functions, and generally relating to one another as loving Christian spouses outside of the bedroom.

KyMouse| 8.10.12 @ 9:20AM

M. Prescott, if I tell you that I am Queen Elizabeth II, will you believe it?

What is your basis for believing that such a Web site is "Christian"? Because it says it is?

KyMouse| 8.10.12 @ 9:54AM

M. Prescott, what organization, church or individual made that "Sex in Christ" web site? The excepts presented here read like a parody that is meant to taunt Christians.

So, who made it?

MK48| 8.10.12 @ 5:19PM

KyMouse.......don't this POS the time of day.

There will be nothing you can say that will change his mind.........except the Lord.

Alan Obama Fan Brooks | 8.10.12 @ 2:04PM

The Christian Porn website may have been uploaded by renegade Christians to ask you for Paypal donations.
MOST LIKELY.

TinaB| 8.10.12 @ 8:41AM

And you found these stats where? Links please.

An ABC show on porn in the USA, wow, I believe everything they said, just like all the MSM shows referring to evolution, as well as all the history books that are being rewritten in the new PC format with just a few minor tweaks as to sex lives and proclivities. It's all always true to you, right?

For me, not so much. I read/hear from the MSM, as well as all my other sources. I actually get both sides of the story. You lefties should try that for a change. You might get a real education, which you sho' nuff didn't get from the public school system.

M. Prescott| 8.10.12 @ 8:44AM

Do a Google search. Type

ABC News: Porn in the USA: Conservatives Are Biggest Consumers

in goolge window and hit enter.

Petronius| 8.10.12 @ 12:17PM

According to Liberals, Conservatives don't get any. So it must be true.

M. Prescott| 8.10.12 @ 8:42AM

Another sampling from SEX IN CHRIST:

“His Fruit Was Sweet to My Taste”
In Christian discussions concerning oral sex, the Song of Solomon is most frequently cited as an example of scriptural allusion to the act: Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. (Song of Solomon 2:3)

While the previous passage refers to fellatio, the following can be read as a metaphor for cunnilingus: Awake, O north wind, and come, wind of the south; make my garden breathe out fragrance, let its spices be wafted abroad. May my beloved come into his garden and eat its choice fruits! (Song of Solomon 4:16)

And again, the Song of Solomon urges lovers to eat and drink freely of one another’s bodies: I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse: I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk: eat, O friends; drink, yea, drink abundantly, O beloved. (Song of Solomon 5:1) This reading of the scriptures portrays the act of oral sex as both natural, like eating, and a joyful expression of love, passion, and sexual sharing between a man and woman.

You really must visit this site, woodwork. Very enlightening.

Bob Grant| 8.10.12 @ 9:23AM

What's your point?

You quote from some fringe website and have us believe this is normal behavior in the Christian community.

Take a hike, muckraker!

**n88h**| 8.10.12 @ 9:37AM

I think his point is that like woodwork said, porn is everywhere. It' the new entertainment. It's a porno world. We are porn-saturated.

How many years will it be before hardcore porn sites are available on cable in homes. Or are they out there already?

Bob Grant| 8.10.12 @ 9:52AM

There is great filter software out there.

Porn could be everywhere but we could be none the wiser, if we choose.

**n88h**| 8.10.12 @ 10:05AM

The fact that American Spectator has reviewed a porn book--a sadomasochism book at that--says a lot about porno's hold on the American imagination. And 40 MILLION copies sold? 40,000,000!

In my opinion, the number of readers staggers the mind. Indeed, pornography is everywhere all the time.

Is it coarsening society? Too soon to tell?

old fashioned| 8.10.12 @ 10:11AM

The women who read this book have never read Jane Austen; that's for sure. The majority would not even know who she is.

Culturally, this country is low-brow. Go to your library and look at the miles and miles of schlock on the shelves. The classics? Whatever became of them? A few of us still read them--only a few.

Contemporary culture is barbaric. And, as someone has pointed out on this site before, it's controlled by young males. No wonder vulgarity and violence are so prevalent.

KyMouse| 8.10.12 @ 10:00AM

It should be obvious to anyone who reads the Bible that God likes sex -- He invented it.

However, He requires (for our good) that sexual relationships be part of marriage between a man and a woman whose relationship did not began in, and does not include, adultery (Matthew 5:32).

The Bible is a warts-and-all look at humanity and our relationship with God; there are many examples of people who misused His gift of sexuality.

Nothing in the Bible says that sex is bad -- only the misuse of it, and God says what constitutes misuse.

MK48| 8.10.12 @ 5:22PM

So who is PORT and who is STARBORT ?

Woodman or Prescott

TinaB| 8.10.12 @ 8:49AM

That was for wormwood . . I mean wood
Chuck. . . no I meant woodwork. and the next guy, that is some serious bs you just promulgated from some crazy google sight. Check the Bible, all of it, and you may come to develop a relationship with a God who can bless a sexual union within marriage very nicely without the need for films of married people who like to go naked and have sex in front of a camera, for money, to turn on perfect strangers. That is disingenuous and deliberately so. Farcical in fact. Give me a break, guys (or girls).

TinaB| 8.10.12 @ 8:50AM

Make that site, not sight. Oopsie.

Atom and Eva| 8.10.12 @ 8:52AM

Sex is so messy, so undignified. That's why we never indulge in it.

As for Christian porn, even this disgusting suggestion doesn't shock me. Religious crackpots are all over, especially in the U.S. Bad taste, bad taste. Everywhere you turn.

JP| 8.10.12 @ 8:57AM

Mmmm...San Fran and Long Beach are the sodomy capitols of the world...New York and New England have the highest rates of abortion in North America... New York has the highest incidence of molestation of high school students in the US... liberal meccas like Massatchusetts, Chicago, Philly, and LA were ground zero of the Gay Priest Abuse scandals... STDs rates in Chicago, New York City, San Fran, and LA are some of the highest in this hemisphere. College campuses are the most liberal bastions in this nation, and an entire sub-culture of perversity exists there. Sounds like you Libs don't need porn - you live it.

Atom and Eva| 8.10.12 @ 9:32AM

I think woodwork made his point when he said, "It's a porno world."

And it is. My sister's fourteen-year-old son--my clean-cut, well-mannered nephew had stored on his laptop hundreds of photos of hardcore porn in a folder labeled "Social Studies Guides."

He told his mother and father that nearly all of his friends had porno on their laptops.

Woodwork's right. It's a porno world, and I think fourteen-year-old is still a child.

My husband and I think this readily-available porn on the internet will do serious damage to the developing sexual psyches of adolescents.

THKrupp| 8.10.12 @ 10:32AM

What 14 year old boy from any time frame didnt have a stash of porn?

Occam's Tool| 8.10.12 @ 10:33AM

And still---none of those places are breeding to replacement. Whazzup? Hmmm....

Bob Grant| 8.10.12 @ 11:51AM

Occam,

If you remember, yuppies had children as accessories, to use like products.

Today's child-bearing generation doesn't even bother with that. Raising children puts too much of a cramp on their long-term plans of prolonged arrested development.

The decline of our culture continues. Stay tuned to see how this all plays out.

THKrupp| 8.10.12 @ 12:43PM

I disagree with that, at least from my perspective and the mothers that Im around. When I was a child my brothers and I would disappear for the entire day only coming back to eat. Mothers now tend to be attached to their children, constantly controling their every waking moment. Which I think is actually worse long term.

KyMouse| 8.10.12 @ 1:05PM

THKrupp, your comment reminds me -- when my brother, sister and I were kids, we were seldom home from sunup to twilight, except for meals and school. Our parents installed an old-fashioned brass bell on the outside of our back porch. When it was time to come home, our mother would set the clapper a'clangin', and we'd scurry home. Worked like a charm.

Drunken Sailor| 8.10.12 @ 4:21PM

You will be happy to know that some of our kids may still live that lifestyle but for mine, the bell was replaced by three air horn blast. Just like when I was a child.

MK48| 8.10.12 @ 5:29PM

KyMouse........it was my dads whistle....a fate worse than death if you didn't hear it.

**n88h**| 8.10.12 @ 9:35AM

One thing internet porn has accomplished is more experimentation. Things that once were taboo are now in vogue in bedrooms everywhere.

Porn should not be available for children, of course, but for us adults, I think it's what's keeping many marriages together.

The couple watch porn and then . . .

MK48| 8.10.12 @ 5:34PM

Gee.......what does the Bible say about porn ?

If you truly love your wife there are endless boundaries without watching porn.

C. S. P. Schofield| 8.10.12 @ 10:01AM

Several thyoughts;

1) Christians may consume more porn because they suppress their sexual impulse. I'm not convinced that that is necessarily worse than giving in to it. Certainly it should be safer as regards STDs.

2) From the sound of it FIFTY SHADES is a pale imitation of real Dom/Sub porn. Probably the real thing would have sent the 40 million female readers it boasts of scurrying back to their safe, boring little lives.

3) I notice that if Christians read or watch porn privately they are called evil names, but if residents of 'enlightened' places like San Francisco wear bondage gear in public, and someone observes that this marks them as tack perverts, the same voices that criticize the Christians have a cow. Sex should be private. Please. You don't want to fantasize about my bedroom exploits (you really , really don't) and unless you are in a lot better shape than I am, I don't want to fantasize about yours.

KyMouse| 8.10.12 @ 10:23AM

C.S.P.S., I would say that people who truly follow Jesus "control" rather than "suppress" their sexual impulse. Another term might be "properly express."

Plenty of Christians have happy, fulfilling marriages -- and children. My parents were Christian, and they had a happy marriage that lasted 48 years, until my dad's death. And they had three children.

"...to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.../ But if they cannot control their passion, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn..." -- I Corinthians 7:2, 9

Occam's Tool| 8.10.12 @ 10:32AM

Gosh, women want real men. Amazing. True.

Just be a decent, good guy with an education, a decent job, and no serious addictions, and eventually they will come to you. Usually starting in their late 20s. Happened to me.

THKrupp| 8.10.12 @ 10:46AM

Especially if they have dated a few losers in the past.

kat| 8.10.12 @ 10:48AM

According to recent studies, most females have an overriding need to be wanted, which could explain why too many females routinely subject and sublimate themselves to bums, perverts, abusers, criminals, and just plain jerks; all of the above are usually adept at deceiving women to get what they want. If this business about females needing to be wanted is true, then that explains why so many females respond to this kind of fantasy/trash. It also explains why they want pimps like Obama and Pelosi to meet their every need, while being enslaved to their abusive, degrading, demoralizing, perverted governance and programs.

KyMouse| 8.10.12 @ 12:41PM

Schools teach kids about sex, but not much about how guys and gals see sex and sexual relationships differently.

If a girl keeps the relationship at dinner-and-a-movie (I know, that really shows my age), it is much easier for her to break off the relationship if the guy becomes abusive or things just aren't going well.

If, however, the gal is having sex with the guy, and may even be living with him, she has invested a great deal into keeping the relationship going, perhaps with the hope that marriage is in their future. She is far more likely to stay with him when he becomes abusive or otherwise unsuitable, in hopes that he will start behaving better someday.

Women are far more invested in relationships than men are, and will put up with much more in order to try to make the relationship work.

Girls should have that pointed out to them early and often. Not that it would do much good...

Doctor Right| 8.10.12 @ 11:04AM

The mere fact that (mostly) women have bought 40 million(!) copies of this low-grade schlock is absolutely hilarious!

All these modern women with all their oh-so modern careers and lust for power...

And along comes a female author to say that all they really want is man to tell them what to do and give them a good [insert vulgar term].

Are they offended?

NO!!!!

They can't stop buying it! And talking about how "amazing" it is!!

BWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH!!!!

To all you single guys out there...take this insight, and run with it!

Derek Leaberry| 8.10.12 @ 12:02PM

Women would be better off reading THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV. There's even three very different men to ponder. The sensualist and party boy Dimitri. Ivan the brooding rationalist. And devout and kindly Alyosha.

Bob Grant| 8.10.12 @ 12:15PM

And the fourth brother who was rarely talked about...

Bob Grant| 8.10.12 @ 12:07PM

Man,

Sometimes I envy those pioneer men of the 1800's who were perfectly content with their sturdy women who bore their children, gathered, and cooked....done!!!!

A French Tickler? What's that - a stand-up comic from Paris?

KyMouse| 8.10.12 @ 12:33PM

Here's a question: I've heard that infertility clinics offer men porn magazines when it's time to provide a sperm sample. Why wouldn't the men fantasize about their wives?

I would think their wives would prefer that, and thinking about their wives would avoid the mental-adultery problem of Matthew 5:28 (I realize that not everyone care about that).

Just wondering -- the husband is trying to make a baby with his wife, so why encourage him to fantasize about other women? Isn't that pretty insulting to his wife?

TinaB| 8.10.12 @ 12:57PM

I have always thought this same thing, and it offended me also.
Thanks KyMouse, and I resonate with many of your posts.

KyMouse| 8.11.12 @ 7:58AM

Thanks for your kind words, TinaB.

Drunken Sailor| 8.10.12 @ 1:01PM

KYMouse,
Men are visual creatures. We are most turned on by what we see. Why do you think lingerie is so popular? Now if either him and his wife or just his wife provided copies of their own visual stimulation that may be another solution.

MK48| 8.10.12 @ 5:47PM

Hey Sailor.......who needs lingerie.....ya know what is sexy .....a beautiful full dress and she doen't wear any underware.

Bob Grant| 8.10.12 @ 1:11PM

How about the wife be present when the donation takes place?

Logistical and Moral dilemmas solved!

Derek Leaberry| 8.10.12 @ 5:14PM

For Catholics, that is sinful in several different ways.

MK48| 8.10.12 @ 5:43PM

KyMouse......I took my wife in the room with me after I was spade to make sure the doc did a good job.

Who needs thoes stinking books............

Petronius| 8.10.12 @ 12:34PM

If you are old enough to remember seeing Playboy on magazine racks sans black plastic wrappers, put your affairs in order.

TinaB| 8.10.12 @ 1:17PM

Finally, I found what I was looking for (unlike Bono).

The author of:
Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children (released in August 2008)
is Dr. Freda McKissic Bush.

What she has to say totally resonated with my experiences inside and outside of marriage, together with the consequences of my pitiful behavior. I am now 62, and, when I heard her speak, in 2008, upon the release of the aforementioned book, I found the answer to so many of my questions that it frightened me. Then I researched her and discovered the woman had gathered her immense data from my generation on down, and it turns out I was far from alone.

To get an idea of the damage done to our brains, where much of our sexual identity resides, due to indiscriminate sexual activity (Dr. Bush is a Christian and so that includes all sex outside of the marriage commitment and relationship) is absolutely staggering. Hence the "need" for the viagrarama for men and now for women too. Sexual stimuli everywhere and people need pills to successfully "get it on."

Anyone see a connection there? Anyone? anyone?

Frekki| 8.10.12 @ 2:23PM

This is so stupid I do not know where to begin. Ever gone to a Tag Sale and seen the boxes of bodice rippers for sale at 10 cents apiece? That is what this book is. With names like "Christian Grey and the innocent coed Anastasia Steel" this can only be common trash. Why is this taken seriously?

Pelleas| 8.10.12 @ 2:59PM

This was one of the most enjoyably well-written , and honestly FUNNY ( intentionally-I might add..) articles I have ever read on this site..

The book itself is SO POORLY written--and incredibly BORING, to boot--it is mind-bogging to wonder why it is so popular--and why so many women ( in particular) are enjoying such a waste of trees , that had to be destroyed , for such crap..

Seek| 8.10.12 @ 3:03PM

Don't they say the same thing about Harlequin romances? In other words, what's new about this? It's just women being women.

mascar| 8.11.12 @ 12:52AM

Pelleas - I created an account just to comment and say the same thing. This article was absolutely hilarious. And Pelleas, thanks for your comment. Christian porn discussion was the last thing on my mind when I read this article. Glad to see someone else truly appreciated the humor in this critique. Great job, Flynn.

Seek| 8.10.12 @ 3:02PM

Anyone who thinks Christian conservatives, including the women, can't be into BDSM are living in denial. Check out some of the personal ads -- a lot of the people who put those ads are avowed Christians. There's even a Christian BDSM website run by dominant fellow, scene-named "Sir Gardener." From my own experience, Christian women are very sexual. I have nothing against them at all.

Bob Grant| 8.10.12 @ 6:17PM

So you're telling me there are Christian Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, Masochism groups out there?

Wouldn't it be fair to call them groups (((Who Call Themselves))) Christian who cater to people (((WHO Call Themselves))) Christian who enjoy BDSM?

merlin| 8.11.12 @ 9:35AM

Mr Flynn, I now have not the slightest urge to read this book. Thanks for the sacrifice.

AhiaBoy| 8.12.12 @ 11:28AM

As H.L. Mencken so famously (and often misquotedly) said, "No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the the American public."

Soundstorm| 8.12.12 @ 6:58PM

Sounds about as arousing as a job interview.

Bill8472| 8.13.12 @ 1:45PM

Good heavens; is this where the "romance" novel is going?

Are we going to see the people who militated so strongly, under the banner of freedom of speech, for the widespread publication of pornography, usher in a new period of Puritanism in which we talk about legs as "limbs" and put cloth dressings on table legs?

Bring back Ginger Lynn. She may have been oppressed, but she made honest porn (that was actually appealing to some of us, anyway). Just the thought of reading about negotiations as to whether one might touch some portion of someone's anatomy is repugnant. After a mere skimming of the above article, I could swear off sexual intercourse for a couple of weeks. I have no idea what actually reading Fifty Shades of Gray would do to my libido.

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The Spectacle Blog

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