Romney battles the “Fat Jap Syndrome.”
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What should Romney do?
Answer — in spite of all these conservative commentators to the contrary — Romney should do exactly what he is doing.
The very first thing he should do is not listen to the Inside the Beltway chattering class that loves the rabbit chase aspect of “Fat Jap Syndrome.”
Because the moment Romney releases more tax returns he will be “Fat Japped” — twice.
Once for whatever phony-baloney “scandal” can be juiced out of the tax returns themselves. Then, a second time, for… the next “Fat Jap.” Still unseen and unknown but most assuredly out there somewhere, just waiting for an Obama acolyte to run to their liberal media buddies shrieking “Fat Jap! Fat Jap!”
Meanwhile, Barack Obama skates.
It is safe to say in 2012 that there is considerable doubt that the Obama campaign can “Fat Jap” it’s way to re-election. Which is the obvious goal.
Here’s a way to illustrate the Obama strategy, using none other than Bond.
In 1973 the eighth James Bond picture Live and Let Die was released, the first in which Roger Moore rather than Sean Connery played Bond. There is a scene shot at the bad guy’s “farm” — and this being Louisiana it had alligators. Bond has been stranded by the bad guys on a rock in the middle of a pond, with alligators in the water all around him. The goal for Bond, obviously, is to get to shore. But the alligators, sensing fresh meat, are starting to head for the rock.
Yowzer! What to do?
Here’s the clip — with a stunt man dressed as Moore trying the stunt five different times, plus the finished version that makes it look like Roger Moore did it. Bond, as you can see, waits until several alligators are lined up in parallel fashion to the shore…like steps. In a blink, he makes a run for it, stepping quickly on and off the backs of the alligators as if they were stairs…making to the safety of the shore, and hence his escape.
Each alligator is in turn momentarily mad as hell, head abruptly out of the water, jaws snapping…but by the time they figure out what happened…Bond is on to the back of the next alligator.
Stepping on alligators is in essence how the Obama campaign views its use of the game of “Fat Jap Syndrome.” Think of those alligators as so many “Fat Jap” controversies. Fat Jap Alligator Number One is Bain Capital. Fat Jap Alligator Number Two is Romney’s Dog. Fat Jap Alligator Number Three is Romney’s wife. Fat Jap Alligator Number Four is Romney’s taxes. And so on — an endless series of Fat Japping controversies endlessly through the entire campaign — to the safety of re-election in November.
A man of faith in a godless age is hitting Americans where it hurts.
Mr. and Mrs. American Spectator Reader, let P.J. O’Rourke talk sense to your kids.
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H/T to National Review Online