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Ben Stein's Diary
A Case of Intracoastal Blues
A magazine installment from the world’s leading Diarist.
(Page 3 of 3)
Then a nice stroll with my wifey back to the hotel, hoping to find something great on TV. No such luck. Just packing and getting ready to go back to LAX tomorrow and see my Julie Good Girl. I miss that girl so much, that sweet loving girl. Sometimes in the night she actually sleeps with her trusting, noble head on my pitifully unworthy shoulder.
What a gift work is. What a gift Chuck Colson was. What a gift dogs are. What a gift my wife is. And my son and his wife and my granddaughter and my pals. What gifts from God.
But what is going to happen to this great nation? Too much debt. Too few people who want to work. I took pictures with many Haitians today at the hotel. They really work. They also all carry little bottles of Clear Eyes. Those people come to America to work. Too many of the ones who are born here want no part of work. There’s too much of mockery of work—and nowhere near enough work. Not even close to enough. It all scares me but I cannot do a thing about it. I can just step out on my balcony and look at the moon over Miami. Or maybe it’s Fort Lauderdale. It shines on the man who owns the Pershing 88 and the man who mops the floors. It shines on anyone who pays attention. We all live our lives with a death sentence, but it can be a beautiful ride.
Oh, dear God, how I miss my parents though. I bought perfect postcards of Miami. I sent them to my sister, to close friends, but I wanted to send them to my parents. This is cruel. I told them I loved them a million times. I wish it had been a billion.
Tuesday
TIME TO GO HOME. This hotel turned out to be fabulously good. Great room service most of the time, fabulous view out our windows, basically quite quiet. Whatever they did wrong that first night, they recovered beautifully.
Florida is glorious when it’s not hot or humid or rainy. I had breakfast on the balcony with Big Wifey this morning, eating oatmeal with the waves in the background and birds hovering nearby.
My wife said, “I woke up in the middle of the night and turned on the light next to the bed and there was the most beautiful insect I have ever seen. Like a long, glowing, blue-green stick.”
My wife sees beauty everywhere.
About the Author
Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes “Ben Stein’s Diary” for every issue of The American Spectator.
Letter to the Editor View all comments (16) | Leave a comment
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MelvinNC| 7.3.12 @ 7:02AM
Ben, maybe the source of your discontent is the oatmeal. Ben, old buddy I've enjoyed the world according to Ben Stein for a while now. I can't say for sure how many years, but it does seem like a long while.
Ben, I've got to tell ya, you have to be especially watchful about the oatmeal. You have no idea how evil those people at Quaker Oats must be. Maybe this is something to put Big Sis, and Eric Holder onto. For all we know Mrs. Obama could be behind this right wing plot. Ahhhh, the world is full of nothing but deceptions, deceptions, and more deceptions.
Well enough of my struggling attempt at humor. Ben we've got the Fourth of July tomorrow. There was a day that I thoroughly enjoyed the arrival of the Fourth, but not today. I would be remiss in my sincerity if I filled you up, "Come on Ben, it's the Fourth of July a case for celebration." But not today, not this year.
I won't bore you with the reasons why, you already know the reasons, but it does hearten me that as the Communists try to turn this Country into a Marxist State, there are those who still come here for the American dream, which acts as a huge counterweight to that evil philosophy.
I will quietly mark the founding of our Great Country tomorrow, and say a prayer for those fighting on faraway shores, and for us, and for this land we call home. Happy Fourth of July Ben.
Brookschwarzenegro | 7.3.12 @ 3:05PM
This is a good piece, brings back memories:
Ben does well when he sticks to being a diarist and economist, but he hasn't a good head for politics-- perhaps he isn't devious enough (remember, a liar such as FDR is on the dime but Carter will never be).
Brookschwarzenegro | 7.3.12 @ 3:13PM
BTW, one of the great men of the South died today: Andy Griffith. I thought Gomer Pyle USMC was a good show, too; people who don't like such don't understand why Gilligan's Island was and is so popular-- they don't appreciate high-camp.
All the greats are dead now: Bob Denver, Andy Griffith, Leslie Nielsen. "Elvis Is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself."
Ed White| 7.4.12 @ 1:24PM
Ben . . . Ben . . . Ben
You're now stying yourself as the "world's leading Diarist"! This is self-mockery, I hope.
Or . . . you could be, at this point in your life, this delusional. Dementia? Have you been tested?
Ed White| 7.4.12 @ 1:29PM
Fourth of July Fireworks: A puff of smoke, a BANG, a shower of sparkles. All for about $50,000 dollars (average amount cities spend on 4th of July fireworks celebrations)
Is it worth it in these austere times?
Bill84728| 7.3.12 @ 9:05AM
Ben, you of all people must understand that, as far as the media is concerned, all thought about Charles Colson stopped with the sign he used to have when he worked for Nixon; you know the one I mean, "When you've got them by the ____, their hearts and minds will follow." For the media, that was the Charles Colson pigeonhole.
Brookschwarzenegro | 7.3.12 @ 3:08PM
Yes, colson was a fun fellow- it was the asshole Liddy who ruined Nixon; at any rate guys say all sorts of things in private; a churchman can curse like a sailor when he wants to.
PCC| 7.3.12 @ 9:51AM
Dear Mr. Stein,
That was a fine tribute to Mr. Colson. Thank you.
As for the definition of "rich", well, that is in the eye of the beholder.
KS| 7.3.12 @ 1:02PM
As a faithful reader of Ben Stein's articles here, I have come to understand that he has homes in Malibu, Beverly Hills (or thereabouts), Rancho Mirage, and Sandpoint. I consider people with four homes to be rich.
Zeppo| 7.3.12 @ 5:36PM
That's not the complete list.
Bill84728| 7.3.12 @ 5:54PM
Rich with four homes depends on how much equity he has in those places, and how much he owes on the mortgage, balanced against how much capital he has.
Bill84728| 7.3.12 @ 6:00PM
I live in Colorado Springs and I am a bankruptcy lawyer. I find it immensely enlightening to discover how many valuable assets my clients own that are mortgaged to the hilt. I always used to think they were loaded; in reality, they have very little.
It's particularly depressing for the folks who bought palaces for, say, $500,000 back in 2005, when they could get mortgages for 125% of the market value of their houses, who then did so and bought matching Lexuses on leases for themselves and the spouse, who now are looking at 7-year-old cars and houses whose value has dropped to $200,000, and who are now facing having to come into closing with money (LOTS of it) and cars that aren't anywhere near the value they're having to pay for them.
Occam's Tool| 7.5.12 @ 1:56AM
Quite possible, which is why I make $350K a year and live in a rural area with a house with a mortgage of $218K and a taxable value of same (the appraised value is $280 K) and $15,000 left on my 4 year old pickup truck with 42K miles on it and no interest on the loan. I've also got $200 K in my retirement accounts AND a state pension that is 50% funded by me and is solidly in the black.
Ben may flit around the country but I may have more assets. Low overhead (I have NONE---I take home after taxes and pension and 403(B) put aways about $16,000 a month) and a quiet lifestyle.
Then again, Ben went to law school, not med school, because he is basically lazy.
Occam's Tool| 7.5.12 @ 2:00AM
And that's another reason I didn't buy a Lexus---only a fool puts money into a depreciating asset. If you have a love for cars, and love to work on them as a hobby, that's different. But otherwise, a car is a tool, and is worthless EXCEPT as a tool. Keeping up with WHICH Joneses? The mortgage and the car payment are MY ONLY debt items. The House is on an equity accelerator to be paid off in about 10 years now, and the pickup will be paid off in 2.
Occam's Tool| 7.5.12 @ 2:05AM
And Ben, Billionaires aren't the only rich people. C'mon.
Of course, I don't favor higher taxes on them, as you do. Let me give you a definition of rich, Ben---a man who can live comfortably, go on trips, and do what he wants without having to work. In 17 years or so, I will have the assets to do that, and I will be wealthy by my standards, because I live a fairly simple life.
Bill84728| 7.3.12 @ 6:01PM
And for a few, the Waldo Canyon fire has taken out any equity they might have hoped for, and homeowners' insurance isn't going to cut it.