As Facebook prepared to make its highly anticipated IPO on the
New York Stock Exchange last Friday, I must admit I gave momentary
consideration to buying a few shares.
Well, I didn’t and it’s probably just as well, given how the
initial share price of $38 has
fallen precipitously. But that’s not the reason I didn’t buy.
The reason came in the form of an unexpected e-mail of an old
socialist friend of mine. Now before anyone gets the wrong idea and
voices their disapproval, I must tell you that this particular
socialist is what I would describe as a happy warrior and they are
precious few amongst their ranks. Even after I left the NDP back in
Canada, he didn’t liken me to the anti-Christ and could still laugh
at my puns. Anyone who can laugh uproariously at my peculiar brand
of humor can’t be all bad. I last saw him about five years ago
during a visit to Toronto.
In any case, my old comrade has spent the past eighteen months
living in Paris doing freelance writing for unions, non-profits and
anyone else who has a Euro to borrow or spare. He told me that he
searched for me on Facebook but could not find me. I wrote back to
tell him that I do not have a Facebook account nor am I likely to
sign up for one. Why is this so? Well, I thought you would never
ask.
First and foremost, it isn’t because I’m a Luddite who is part
of The Anti-Social Network. On the contrary, having written
articles online for nearly a decade for various conservative
websites lends itself to inviting comment from the outside world.
Naturally, I have had more than my share of contact with people and
occasionally this has led to enjoyable and entertaining
correspondences. Besides I’m not that hard to find. For those who
feel the overwhelming need to seek me out, it’s not like I haven’t
left plenty of clues on Google.
But as I get older I find there are fewer and fewer people with
whom I want contact. More often than not I want to be left alone
and signing up for Facebook isn’t exactly conducive to my
Garboesque moods. What I particularly don’t want is to be
approached by people who only made my acquaintance when I was
younger because they wanted something for me other than friendship
and now wish to renew acquaintances with me because they want
something else from me other than friendship. I have spent
good part of my adulthood forgetting many of the people from my
childhood and I want them to stay forgotten.
Yet like most human beings I am full of contradictions. While I
want to be left alone I also want company. However, I suspect if I
were to sign up for Facebook and reach out to those select people I
fear my friend requests would be overwhelmingly rejected. If I am
going to be told to get lost I would rather it be to my face than
in the impersonal anonymity of cyberspace.
Then there’s the part of me which thinks that if I do sign up
for Facebook it will be the precise moment everyone decides to move
on to something else rendering Facebook into another MySpace. I
fear that if I sign up for Facebook that I will do it what I did to
the popularity of Dwayne Wayne
glasses when I took out a prescription for them more than
twenty years ago. If there are trend starters then I am a trend
stopper. The thought of rendering Kadeem Hardison unemployed twice
in a lifetime would be too much to bear.
Also, I’m not sure how to upload pictures.
However, reassurance came in the form of Rich Lowry of
National Review who in his most recent column
asked, “Can 900 million people, the roughly one-eighth of the
planet that uses Facebook, be wrong?”
Do you know what this means? It means that the other
seven-eighths of the planet aren’t on Facebook. It means
that I am not alone. Mind you most of those people don’t know where
their next meal is coming from, have only the clothes on their
backs and risk having their limbs hacked off if they say the wrong
thing at the wrong time. What exactly is the Facebook status for
someone whose life is nasty, brutish and short?
As for me, I have only but one status, Facebook or no Facebook.
I inhale and I exhale. So will I ever sign up Facebook? Well, I
could always change my mind. But if I did you would probably never
know. So I wouldn’t hold your breath.
