WASHINGTON — It has now been a year since Osama bin Laden
became a ghost courtesy of the United States SEALs. I had long
since come to the conclusion that Osama became crêpes
suzette for the worms back in Tora Bora in December 2001, and
I was somewhat stubborn in my belief. Yet he fooled me and the
student of Araby Mark Steyn and a few other pundits. I shall be a
big enough man to admit it. I was wrong.
Apparently Osama took up residence in the wilds of Pakistan,
where he believed he was safe. Doubtless like-minded pietists in
the Pakistani army or intelligence community told him he would be
safe there. They were doubtless proud of their world-famous tenant.
Well, they were asleep on the night of May 2, 2011, or they had the
good sense not to get involved. When the U.S. helicopters swooped
in Osama was pitifully exposed. He had no guards that we know of,
save a few women. Several doors collapsed before our tough troops,
and pop, he was on his way to the 72 virgins in Heaven or
the 42 cows or whatever the Muslim theologians estimate the
Hereafter to be composed of. At any rate I am glad he is gone, and
doubtless you are too.
Now we know he spent his last days reading licentious literature
and mixing up potions not unlike the West’s miracle drug, Viagra.
Also we hear from intelligence reports that he was heavily into
Just For Men, another diabolical potion that originates with the
hated West. He did not stay particularly fit. There was no jogging
or windsurfing or bungee jumping for him, as there is with select
American politicians. There was just the womenfolk all around.
Sometimes he doubtless admonished them with a good scolding or
perhaps a stick. According to the Islamic specialist Hazrat Maulana
Ashraf Ali Thani in his Islamic bestseller A Gift for Muslim
Couples, a husband can resort to “a stick,” can deny money and
even “pull” his wife “by the ears.” Still, it is no substitute for
a good workout at the gym.
Other morsels of intelligence were found in his redoubt in
historic Abbottabad, the felicitously named town in which he
breathed his last. He kept computers, another Western gadget, and
doubtless pens and pencils, again Western utensils. On
his hard drives the U.S. has discovered valuable intelligence.
Frankly, I doubt our intelligence community has been candid with
us. But from what we have been told his group al Qaeda has laid
plans for the long haul. They have a strategy for making pests of
themselves in Afghanistan once our heroic president vamooses. And
they are setting up operations in romantic places like Yemen.
Moreover, they recently allied with al-Shabab, a terrorist group in
Somalia.
Their present leader is Ayman al-Zawahiri who we are told is not
another Osama. He is according to our intelligence community
“divisive.” He lacks Osama’s swarthy charm. But he does have plans
for a long-term struggle. His problem is al Qaeda has too many
openings at the top. In fact, by the time I have published this,
even his position may be open. The skies above Afghanistan and
Pakistan are full of U.S. drones. They pick up a message, say, from
al-Zawahiri ordering a pizza delivery and poof, he could
be gone. It has happened time and again.
Consider Ilyas Kashmiri. Osama tapped him to assassinate
President Obama. Possibly Osama did not like him, for no sooner had
he been tapped than he was tapped… by a missile from one
of those infernal drones. Or consider Atiyah Abdul Rahman, who was
in charge of al-Qaeda’s day-to-day operations and Osama’s main link
to his network. Poof, he is no more. And then
there is, or should I say was, Anwar al-Awlaki, the American-born
sheik at work in Yemen. Poof, he was incinerated by
another drone.
So it has been a happy year against terrorism, but I would not
let down our guard. We are not fighting the Cold War against
technologically symmetrical forces. We are fighting a war against
primitives, but all they need is a suicidal maniac
with some advanced Western gadget to kill hundreds,
perhaps thousands.
