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Ben Stein's Diary
Rough Landing in Fargo
A long way from the decent folks of Wall Street.
A few days ago, I, your humble servant, flew from LAX to Denver and from Denver to (as I thought) Fargo, North Dakota. The best part of the trip by far was sitting next to my beautiful and saintly wife. The second best part was meeting an astoundingly gorgeous Fox News fan named Sara Bard at my gate at LAX. Her husband owns an Italian restaurant in Nashville. She loves Cavuto and she’s a knockout. How bad can it be? The trip went great until we got on our little Embraer to Fargo—and the Embraer was in no way the problem. The problem was that the airplane before us on approach to the Fargo airport had an electrical failure. This prevented its landing gear from deploying. The airplane had to land on its belly on the runway.
That meant the runway was closed so we poor hapless people on the following flight had nowhere to go. Airlines now have their planes fly with little fuel because fuel is expensive and heavy and they don’t want to make the plane more expensive to operate. (This seems to me to be a major safety hazard, by the way.) So, we could not circle to see what happened. Instead, we were diverted to Grand Forks. There we sat on the ground until we refueled. Then, back to Fargo to land on the secondary runway.
The pilot, a sincere former Navy pilot from Puerto Rico, said that frankly he considered the secondary runway to be marginal but he would do his best and it would be fine. This scared me to death.
Because I am a commentator, among the thoughts that ran through my mind were these: “What would be the last thoughts I should tell my readers?”
I came up with a few. One is about Wall Street. Yours truly has spent much of his life following Wall Street. For many years, I wrote long exposes of questionable deals for Barron’s, the great financial news weekly. And I was the victim of some questionable deals, where management basically stole our company from us.
But in my long years of dealing with Wall Street brokerages, I have never been mistreated by my brokers. I started as a very small client of Merrill Lynch when I was 12 and have had an account there since then. My father and mother had accounts there starting in the 1940s. We never had even the faintest suspicion of a problem.
I have an account in Virginia (inherited from my parents). The broker is a man named Robert Lobban. I have never met him and the account is trivial but he’s always available. I have a larger but by no means large account in Los Angeles with a man named Kevin Hanley whom I have known since he was a child. His main colleague is a young fellow named Jerry Au. Both of them are available and helpful and straightforward at any hour day or night. They have assistants whom I have never laid eyes on named Anie Garapetian, Kristie Rivera, and Raul Hernandez. These are people of Wall Street and I would trust them with my last nickel. They have helped me with mortgages, investments, figuring out where to take money for taxes. They are Johnny on the Spot.
I have accounts at Fidelity. They are always available on the phone even at three in the morning. They are so inexpensive they might as well be free. I have a planner who works through them although he’s independent. His name is Phil DeMuth. I would trust him with my kidneys.
Much of what I have invested I have through an investment firm called DFA, here in Southern California. They are thorough, incredibly efficient and effective , and seem to me to cost almost nothing.
I have a friend named Ray Lucia who talks a lot on the radio about finance. He has forgotten far more than I ever knew about personal finance. I often appear on the same platform with him at his events and we get paid by the same entity. He’s been as honest with me as anyone could be. I am not a client of his, but I have learned an amazing amount from him.
My point is not to sell you on these people or firms. They all have plenty of business and don’t need any more. I mention their names so they can frame this article and put it on their walls. My point is that with all of the talk about criminals in finance — and I am sure there are plenty — my experience with these big and small players has been superb. There are many fine men and women out there who can help you with your money. You have to look, get references, look up their records, but if you do, you will find people who will hold your hand even in these difficult times and guide you through the dark forests of money.
It’s good not to be alone.
By the way, we landed without a hitch on the alternate runway at Fargo. I had a great time there and so did my wife. Fargo is a long way from Beverly Hills, but it’s worth going a long way to be among such friendly people as the Fargonians.
About the Author
Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes “Ben Stein’s Diary” for every issue of The American Spectator.
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Frank Drackman| 4.16.12 @ 7:34AM
So no 3-way with the Missus, you, and Sara?
Ah c'mon you thought about it.
And Airliners still carry plenty of fuel(See 9-11-01), its just we have these New-Fangled Computer Thangs, and why buy 3,000 miles of JP-4 when 1,500 miles will do?
The bigger question is why are we flying around in
BRAZILIAN AIRLINERS?!?!?!?!?!!?!
A nation, that other than the Thong, hasn't contributed a whit to Progress.
I always fly American-Built Machinery, I don't like the little joysticks and broken off rudders on those Air Buses.
Thats right, if A-rab Terrorists are gonna fly MY Airliner into a skyscraper, I wanta know they've got an oldfashioned yoke in the way while there tryin to open the Ko-ron(rhymes with Mo-ron) to the appropriate passage for todays reading.
And thanks for your Soporific financial advice, I'll print it out, and next time I get the middle seat between 2 Chechnyan terrorists and can't find a Xanax, I'll be golden.
Frank
PS: How did you know the Pilot was from Puerto Rico?
Bobloblaw| 4.16.12 @ 8:41AM
""The bigger question is why are we flying around in
BRAZILIAN AIRLINERS?!?!?!?!?!!?!""
Brazil is one of the leading manufactures of smaller sized regional jets in the world. There are no American made aircraft in the 50-110 seat category. Your choice is the following:
Bombardier-Canada
Embraer-Brazil
Sukhoi-Russia
And some new planes from China and Japan.
Stuart Koehl| 4.16.12 @ 2:19PM
I'm a big fan of Bombardier's Global Express series, right down to the C600 Executive Jet. As nice, or nicer, than the Gulfstream G550 (I haven't checked out the new G600 series, yet).
dolby2| 4.16.12 @ 6:22PM
And what ever happened to the Shorts 360? Weren't they made in Great Britain? If memory serves, they were nicknamed, "a boxcar with wings."
Stuart Koehl| 4.16.12 @ 6:55PM
Northern Ireland, actually. The military uses the 330 as the C-23 Sherpa, for short-haul tactical cargo. I found them spacious, but rather bouncy. Like all high-wing, narrow track aircraft, they can be squirrelly on the ground, and I definitely get queasy on long taxis to and from the gate.
loupgarous| 4.16.12 @ 7:08PM
Yep, Shorts is in Belfast, Northern Ireland (in what Myles na Gopaleen called the "northern sick counties"), so the Shorts Sherpa and all the other boxes with wings they make are British aircraft.
Occam's Tool| 4.16.12 @ 12:09PM
Fargo is 3 hours from my house, Ben. I do hope you took time to go to the Plains Art Museum, and eat at HoDo restaurant. By the way---Grand Forks to Fargo is 1 hour by car. By Freeway. Straight shot.
And, I have never been screwed over by Edward Jones. Very, very reliable company.
Alan Brooks| 4.16.12 @ 7:17PM
"A few days ago, I, your humble servant"
You are neither humble, nor a servant; and though your wife may very well be saintly, somehow it appears you may be greatly exaggerating her beauty.
Ann I. Ball| 4.17.12 @ 8:07AM
Alan,
1) Stein was compelled - through love of his spouse and perhaps a twinge of guilt feelings - to mention his wife's appearance since it makes him appear less of a cad with the subsequent remark about another woman being a "knock-out."
2)Stein should kick your butt for that remark about his wife, but you're not worth it. If you cannot comment about a woman's beauty and find something favorable, it's best to keep your trap shut.
Phil| 4.17.12 @ 6:54PM
Hey Frank.
In the old Naval Aviator parlance, he caught the "3-wire" on the secondary. Who cares where he is from??
You can always trust a Naval Aviator, except at happy hour.
Frank Drackman| 4.16.12 @ 7:56AM
I can't let this go...
First of all, did you know you were flying into the same airport Buddy Holly was flying into the day the music died?
Just some constructive criticism, but maybe instead of spending the flight checking out porn, you could do a little research?
Wiki Pedia, its like the "World Book" without the missing letters.
And how did you know the Pilot was from Puerto Rico?
Was it because the Airport was named "Hector" and thats a common greaser name?
OK, he didn't have to say he was from Puerto Rico, its just that they recirculate the air and.....
And I'm supposed to believe that a former Navy Pilot, who could put an FA-18 Super Hornet into an area smaller than the Bullpen at Yankee Stadium, at night, with a 50 knot crosswind, with no GPS, TACAN out, and no Maverick on his wing, cause Tom Cruise is about as much a Navy Pilot as Tom Green,
that this dude couldn't land a small jet on a runway thats 150 feet wide?
Thats almost the width of a football field.
And whats with every airport being "International"? Did you know there's no scheduled International Flights out of Hector International.
Not even to Canada, if you consider Canada a real International Country.
Thats right, if you were having an LSD-25 Flashback and you wanted the fastest way to get to Canada from Fargo, it'd be to take a Bus.
And how'd you get out of serving, lets see, you were 23 during the Tet Offensive...
Oh yeah, Yale Law School till 1970, but the draft didn't end until 73'...
Pilonidal Cyst? High Lottery Number? Homo?(Much Better now, I know)
Frank
Stuart Koehl| 4.16.12 @ 3:22PM
My dear Frank,
Take a valium, OK. And while throwing around accusations, you might want to consider just how much ignorance you, yourself, have demonstrated in your little jeremiad. For instance, you said:
"And I'm supposed to believe that a former Navy Pilot, who could put an FA-18 Super Hornet into an area smaller than the Bullpen at Yankee Stadium, at night, with a 50 knot crosswind, with no GPS, TACAN out, and no Maverick on his wing, cause Tom Cruise is about as much a Navy Pilot as Tom Green, that this dude couldn't land a small jet on a runway thats 150 feet wide?"
You might have noted that a regional jet is not an FA-18 Hornet (a lot more rugged and forgiving of mishandling than a passenger jet), and that all carrier landings are made with the big boat steaming directly into the wind (actually, about 8° to starboard, so the apparent wind is coming directly down the angled deck); all carrier landings are made with zero crosswind component.
Also, for all his other faults, Tom Cruise is an accomplished pilot and has his own P-51 Mustang.
As for airports being labeled "international", they don't have to have regularly scheduled flights, they have to have a customs station for anything that does show up.
Appleby| 4.16.12 @ 8:10AM
So even if you think these are your last thoughts forever, these thoughts will be congratulating yourself for how wealthy you are?
I'd say it's high time for you to get yourself to a good solid Bible believing church, or failing that, have your beautiful wife read you the parable about the Rich Man and Lazaruz.
cvrgrl| 4.16.12 @ 11:27AM
ben stein, you are a putz
an effete name dropping "has been"
who at best marginally "was"
you are afforded a story line "diary" and
you have an audience but your musings
are drivel and pompus and self aborbed
and egotistical
the country and your fellow americans
on an edge...
all that this country has made available
to you and yours, at risk, and all you dwell on
is being surrounded by women, money
and wealth
you are pathetic, go to pasture you sad
symbol of a generation of proud men
(and women) selling out through apathy
to modern day tyrants, race baiters, and
frauds, to wit, your likeable, barak insane obozo
loupgarous| 4.16.12 @ 6:44PM
I think Eli Lilly and Company
offer help with the cost of Prozac
which it seems that you need
show your doctor this post
I'm sure he'll agree.
cvrgrl| 4.17.12 @ 1:07AM
Zzzzzz
IrishEddieOHara| 4.17.12 @ 12:34PM
As much as I like Ben Stein, I agree that it seems that his whole world revolves around the superficial. Money, beauty, things -- Jesus despized these. He told us to get ready for the Kingdom of God. He said to feed the hungry, help the poor, and clothe the naked. He said to visit the sick and those in prison. Have you done this, Ben? Remember, whether or not we have done these things is the criteria by which we will either be given eternal life or sent into darkness forever.
numbatdog| 4.16.12 @ 8:20AM
Dear Ben,
As a retired airline pilot with 34 years of flying experience and a lecturer to folks with fear of flying and other anxieties, I am in a position to put your mind at rest! No commercial aircraft simply fills up their fuel tanks like you might do with your car. Instead the fuel required for a flight is carefully calculated in the following manner;
Fuel required to get to the destination airport and then to make a few attempts to land
plus to then proceed to a preselected alternate airport and to hang around there for 30 minutes and then land
plus minimun fuel allowed in tanks.
plus extra for bad weather and air traffic control re routes as required on that day.
As you have seen, a runway can be closed at any time, even in good weather so fuel planning is done very carefully. Simply filling the tanks would not increase your level of safety on a flight.
Richard Baker| 4.16.12 @ 6:41PM
numbatdog:
If I'm not mistaken, doesn't the local ATC make most of this call as to this situation?
R. Baker
A&P
numbatdog| 4.17.12 @ 8:18AM
Nope Richard,
The final decision is always made by the aircraft commander. The commander uses all available data including ATC restrictions and closures to help him decide on the fuel load but its always the pilots choice.
Kent| 4.16.12 @ 8:45AM
Ever hear of MF Global, Ben?
R Martin| 4.16.12 @ 8:57AM
I have been in a few dicey airplane situations myself, including a bomb threat on an international flight, and I sure as heck never thought of telling people about the virtues of Wall Street or reminisced about my many brokerage accounts. But anyway, thanks for thinking about us.
On another subject, I have a proposal. I will buy your next expensive lunch at a restaurant of your choosing if you will simply give me your itinerary in advance. That way I could follow you, at a discrete, respectful and unobtrusive distance to observe and enjoy all the stunningly gorgeous women you seem always to encounter on your outings. I'm out and about from time to time myself and I rarely see such creatures. You must have a knack.
Frank Drackman| 4.16.12 @ 9:27AM
@ R Martin
drive around any Southeastern Conference Campus.
Well except for Vanderbilt, Mississippi State, Texas A&M, South Carolina.
Actually I can only testify first hand about Auburn, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, Tennessee, and that SEC/wish-it-had-joined-instead-of-that-can't-even-win-at-hoops-anymore-lame-ass-ACC Florida State..
Better have your drivers seat in it's full rearward position, Nome Sane??
Frank "SEC Rules" Drackman
Crassus| 4.17.12 @ 12:46AM
Junior, the women at Auburn are dog face ugly. Tennessee usually has at least three good looking blondes on campus every year. They put them on the cheerleading squad so that everyone will think that they are typical of the university as a whole. You must not have spent much time at South Carolina because they have some hotties there. Women at Vanderbilt aren't that bad either if you like intellectual type cuties.
Bob Grant| 4.16.12 @ 9:27AM
I'm just waiting for another article from him about obama being so likeable.
Mr. Stein's articles about living the life of leisure ring hollow in a time where our Union is hanging by a thread.
I'm not sure how many more articles I can take from him.
IrishEddieOHara| 4.17.12 @ 12:35PM
Bob, this is the way the privileged class thinks. "I got mine. Too bad about you." The whole country can go under and they will just go to Switzerland or somewhere else to ride it out, then reappear to begin again raping the treasury of whatever emerges from the wreckage.
Delta Zelda| 4.16.12 @ 10:00AM
Ben, reading your column always makes me feel better! Having planned and achieved a comfortable life, you take time to “smell the roses.” It’s really a shame that your critics are unhappy people, who have not figured out that they are the only person who can make themselves happy. I wish you and yours a continued happy future.
Trinacria| 4.16.12 @ 3:38PM
DZ,
Reading Ben's articles makes me fell better, too, but for a decidely different reason. If a self absorbed, marginally talented hack who hasn't said anything worth remembering for the last 30 years can maintain a paying gig at TAS, this is truly a country where anyone can succeed.
Joe Doakes| 4.16.12 @ 10:34AM
Mr. Stein,
Flying is the safest way to travel. It's the free feel from the TSA that keeps me off of the plane.
:)
JD
Capitalist Pig . . .
October 19, 2011
Dear Zucchini Square Protestors,
I’ve noticed a few things about you people. Number one is you have tenacity and a little gumption, I’ve done my share of camping and though I noticed you chose not to go camping in the South Bronx, hanging out on the street take balls. Against my better judgment, and only because I’m in pain, I’ve decided to give you a free business idea. One warning though. Capitalistic people are very competitive, so, some among you may think faster than you, those you will want in management, others will be slower, but harder working, those you want in the kitchen, and others are “rule followers” those you want handling the money and driving the truck. Please allow me to explain, in my own special way:)
One of you idiots, preferably the one with the most dipstick friends on Facebook, will tell them you want to start a business to serve the protestors. You will call it Capitalist Pig. You will ask for money. You will tell them that you are going to start a business with it. You will tell them that they may lose every dime invested. You will make a record of everyone who gives you money. Then, you will open a checking account at The Bank of America. You will do this to upset Dicky Durbin. I don’t like him and neither should you. He is an idiot. Then you will apply for some credit on your new account. With capital and credit in hand you and your partners will buy a long truck, like the kind they used in that movie “Sneakers” - youtube it. Then you will find a local vendor, preferably in the Bronx and have them convert it into a mobile kitchen - there are companies that have these trucks already, but get it set up for bar-b-que with refrigeration. Then hit up some of your dope smoking friends for some artwork for the side of your truck, I don’t think a pig on the side of a truck is too tough to draw, but I’ve seen some of your signs even the swastikas aren’t straight. Do you know why Hitler picked that symbol? It was easy for morons to draw.
You’ll want to make a simple menu. Main dishes and a few sides. Nothing complicated. Get your sauce and marinade from an industrial supply in bulk. Do not try to make your own, yet. Once all of your equipment is ready, make sure it is nice, clean, and sanitary, then go get your supplies, shop around, your goal is to make a profit not give away your friends capital just because the sales lady has a nice set of tits. There is something to be said for hiring a gay buyer, but then again the other guy or gal could be gay, business is all crap shoot so wear your best skirt:) Once you’ve got all of this crap done set your pricing to make a profit that is competitive with local sources of similar fare. I would even recommend a field trip to “Dallas Bar-B-Que.” Then pile in your truck and hit those commie bastards with everything you’ve got, ribs, chicken, pulled pork, and throw in a few kosher pickles from Ben’s deli, that’ll piss off the Nazis. I’ve got some experience with this.
A few side notes. Keep careful records of every expense. I don’t care if you paid $.25 to park to go into buy a napkin. Write it down. Bought a drink on the way? Write that down too. Soon you are going to make a profit, and you are going to find out why we want to eliminate the IRS. Something you can only learn from experience. But if you want me to teach you I can meet you in a dark ally and give you rectal exam with 50’ pole hooked up to a jack hammer. The experience is something similar.
Good luck! Or you could stay there and defecate in your shorts, freezing your a$$ of waiting to get raped and robbed. As for being robbed. Sleep on your valuables. So when they try to steal them you will be awake to stop them. I’m good with a knife, but I’m guessing you people aint so I’d advise against that action. In my experience though if you want to avoid a problem it is best not to become a target.
All the best,
Joe Doakes
Frank Drackman| 4.16.12 @ 10:38AM
I'm still agravated by this whole Sincere Puerto Rican Pilot thang..
"Frankly he considered the secondary runway to be marginal but he would do his best and it would be fine"
Was he in the US Navy, or the Puerto Rican one?
Oh yeah, there part of the US.
Well from Wikipedia...........
Hector International(KFAR) has THREE Runways, a 9000 ft x 150, a 6,300 x 100, and a 3,800 x 150.
they land 747's there for Hey-Zeuss's sake.
And if it was really that "marginal" its a mere 240 miles as the Embraer flies to Minneapolis, which has an 11,000, a 10,000 and 2 8,000 foot runways.
Its called a "divert field" you know, like Moe-hammed-ga-jamma-lamma-Jabar had to do when the passengers took advantage of the flimsy cockpit doors with United Flight 93.
Shanksville didn't even HAVE an airport..
Frank
Burlington| 4.16.12 @ 10:51AM
Hey Ben,
If you had trusted Jon Corzine, you would be bankrupt. He should be in the cell adjoining Madoff. He will skate though. He is too well connected to the party.
william fortune | 4.16.12 @ 10:57AM
So how does your experience get people like W. Buffet to invest in our trash to clean products plants. CA has a huge trash problem that we can help solve by turning it into synethetic products (recycle) and at the same time reduce air polution.
See: www.NHcleanenergy.com
Bill Fortune, Industrial Consultants Inc.
603 365 0251
mzk1| 4.16.12 @ 10:59AM
@Frank Drackman - as someone who does some Wikipedia editing, if you trust it that implicitly, I feel sorry for you. At least read the "discussion" age.
How did he know? Either he knows Puerto Rican accents (pretty common in parts of the East, or he thanked the pilot and the pilot told him.
mzk1| 4.16.12 @ 11:00AM
@Burlington - As a long-time Ben reader (going back at least to Clinton) I can assure you that Ben has attacked plenty of wall Street people he considered dishonest, even those some others defend.
mzk1| 4.16.12 @ 11:04AM
While I don't disagree with Ban's examples, there at least were problems with big firms pushing their interests instead of their clients' (against the Bible AND possibly American law).
With the online people if you don't pay extra for immediate operation, I get the idea they find the worst price of the day and use that. I compare that with my bank in Israel; when I wanted to sell my dollars back they gave me an exchange rate and 45 seconds (or thereabouts) to push the button. Nice.
Stephen Davis| 4.16.12 @ 11:13AM
Ben: Have been Am Spec subscriber since early 1980s. Have generally enjoyed your stuff, although last 4-5 years has been tiresome, due to your failure to creatively utilize or otherwise adapt your early-years' format. And now you seem to have drifted well into both left-camp and near-senility -- the proof of these charges is exactly your deceptive comments regarding whom you might trust with your last nickel, and whom you might trust with your kidneys. Deceptive in the sense that, when push comes to shove, there is really no possibility that you would, in fact, rely upon these folks with your last nickel or your kidneys. If you had ever faced the prospect of losing your last nickel or your kidneys, you would know this, and thus would refrain from making foolish statements of this sort. Please invest a better brand of intelligence and creativity in your column, or give it up out of respect for your erstwhile fans.
Fred Campbell| 4.16.12 @ 11:30AM
Ben:
Whenever I encounter an article with your name on it, I read it. It is never a waste of time.
I occasionally disagree with you but realize that it is due to differences in our life's experiences and not to any conflict in our fundamental values.
So, keep on writing and philosophizing, you are making the world a better place.
Now, if only I could only introduce you to my Jewish carpenter friend..... But then, you may have already met him already, in an existential sense.
May our mutual God bless and keep you in the hollow of His hand.
Frank Drackman| 4.16.12 @ 11:38AM
"Jewish Carpenter Friend"??
sure, if you'll meet my "Vengeful Jehovah Friend"..
and speaking of Jehovah, whats with these Jehovah's Witnesses interupting my Car Waxing on a perfectly good Sunday afternoon?
I can't be a Jehovah's Witness, I didn't even know he was in an accident.
Hey-Ohh!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, do you see members of MY tribe going Door to Door trying to convert the Great Un-Circumscribed Huddled Masse?
You wanta worship some passifist hippy, go for it.
Frank
Trinacria| 4.16.12 @ 2:59PM
"Whenever I encounter an article with your name on it, I read it. It is never a waste of time."
Really? Are we reading the same articles? I have yet to read one where I didn't kick myself in the ass for wasting several minutes of my life that I'll never get back. Never before has one man written so much and said so little...
Bob K.| 4.16.12 @ 11:38AM
All that aside Ben, what did you think of the Movie "Fargo" by the Coen brothers?
Frank Drackman| 4.16.12 @ 12:04PM
Since the odds of Ben actually replying are about the same as Osama-Bin-Obama renouncing his Muslim Faith(HE said it, not me) before simultaneously resigning, and nominating Herb Cain to the Surpreme Court...
Fargo's only the best movie of the last 20 years, and don't tell me bout no "Broke Back, Mounting" I still get a chuckle every time I hear Pete Stromare(one of the greatest names of all time BTW) mutter to Steve Buscemi
"You'r a smooth smoothie, y'know"
or "We Stop at Pancakes House"
in fact, practically any of Stromare's lines could kick "Here's lookin at you kid's" butt.
and I'm not sayin she's Jessica Alba, but that Frances McDormand just does something for me, did you see her in "Laurel Canyon"? her lesbian kiss scene with Kate Beckinsdale totally kicks that overrated "Wild Thangs" butt too.
Sorry, thats my theme for today, Movie Scenes kicking other Movie Scenes butts.
Yahhhh
Frank Shep Proudfoot Drackman
Occam's Tool| 4.16.12 @ 12:11PM
Fargo was shot near Brainerd, Minnesota. No scenes were shot in Fargo.
Great film. Guys, this is my neck of the woods. (Literally)
Cuneo| 4.16.12 @ 11:56AM
Is is Fargonian, Fargonite, or Fargoan?
rey dekker| 4.16.12 @ 12:05PM
This is a guy who supported Nixon, Reagan, both Bushes; he ought to be pilloried, not sanctified. And now he tells us he was "wrong" about some things in the past. No, Duh? What an idiot. He's on a famous teenage movie and becomes some sort of pundit? Christ, no wonder our nation is going to hell-in-a-handbasket. If only he were married to a Kardashian he would have made the Fame Trifecta. And it is "Fargoan", genius...
Frank Drackman| 4.16.12 @ 12:47PM
Ben Stein was in a Movie??
I just thought he did those "Clear Eyes" commercials..
and speaking of Idiots, lets get to YOU, who gives Idiots a bad name.
Seriously, you calling someone an idiot is like Barney Fag callin somebody a Fag.
MOST of the Nation supported Nixon, Reagan, and both Bushes, including my Mom, who despite being born in the former East Germany, is more Amurican than Dale Earnhardt, Coca Cola, and John Wayne combined.
OK, she supported George Wallace in 68', but thats only cause he told it like it BE.
I mean was, is, watever.
Frank
Occam's Tool| 4.16.12 @ 12:11PM
Fargo is a great town, by the way. Not bad Thai.
Rostislav| 4.16.12 @ 12:33PM
Unfortunately, Mr. Stein’s articles become (at least for my taste, and I may be wrong of course) more and more sugary, self-loving, self-boasting and – the worst change – irrelevant to his great country’s present situation. In my opinion, it’s approximately the same as to write about the inferior quality of passenger planes in the USSR-1937. It was fantastically inferior, indeed, but there were some much more important issues at that time in ours… Rostislav, Saint-Petersburg, Russia
Jack Jones| 4.16.12 @ 1:00PM
ummm by law aircraft are required to have 30 minutes of fuel reserve upon reaching its proposed destination, also it is sort of funny it is against the law to run out of fuel in an aircraft.......so please no one panic that airlines and/or most smaller aircraft are up there about to land on a freeway or side of a mountain somewhere! just is not a realistic viewpoint of what the hilarious Mr. Stein has stated :)
Deniso| 4.16.12 @ 1:06PM
Ben;
I read your "stuff" out of habit, but I will try to quit.
You would find your personal hangman to be a charming fellow with a fabulous-looking wife.
A count-your-blessings and positive outlook go a long way, but your tolerance of abusive tyrants shows some mental aging that you would be well-advised to keep in a closet.
I have never appreciated your financial advice on the Fox Business channel or elsewhere, and your confidence and recommendation of that stock brokerage, that BofA stupidly saved from BK, seemed to me the most corrupt and dishonest of any that I dealt with in 50 years, as an investor. A well-known celebrity attorney like you, with a large audience in the business community, surely required that you be treated very carefully, so I advise my friends to ignore your foolish "endorsements", generally .
You're a good man, Charlie Brown, and I appreciate that quality, but little else.
As a retired airline pilot who flew into Fargo on the B-727 occasionally, I found the airport above average, over-all, and think it is possible that you misunderstood the pilot.
Regards,
Marlin| 4.16.12 @ 1:08PM
Lordy lou! Such venom against Ben's essays! What part of the word "diary" is it that you frightened little critics don't understand? Mom's basement walls closing in on you?
I know, it's Ben's gratitude for even the smallest things in life that momentarily sends you back to pre-adolescence. Gratitude is trait of mentally healthy and thus stable people, and such a virtue is on par with elevator flatulence to the perpetually whiney, spoiled, and chronically aggrieved.
Keep up the great work, Ben. All good stuff.
And thanks!
Douglas Fletcher | 4.16.12 @ 4:25PM
Nah, it 's that Ben used to be worth reading, and now he's not.
Trinacria| 4.16.12 @ 9:11PM
Marlin,
With all due respect, we all understand it's a "diary"; the point is we don't give a shit about the mundane meanderings of this self important bore. So Mr. Stein is grateful for the smallest things in life; lovely...if I want to be inspired by a bunch of sentimental crap I'll tune into Oprah or the Lifetime Network.
I come to TAS for thoughtful analysis and commentary, not for an inventory of Mr. Stein's personal investment accounts.
Marlin| 4.16.12 @ 10:16PM
A diary is about the self. And you're still missing Ben's point along with providing a nice example of projection in your description of the man. Ben has never elevated himself above anyone - ever.
He's done an inventory of those people - and companies - that he's found good to work with as opposed to the usual screeds demonizing of investment firms. These days prior to "the election of our lives", the MSM and the other class warfare kids will be out in force to dehumanize all things personally beneficial and prosperous.
And to counter someone's earlier comment that Ben didn't serve in Vietnam; I did, as a grunt with the 101st Airborne Division from late 67' to fall 68'. Got my third wound and was sent to Japan for surgery then to the 82nd Airborne at Ft. Bragg, NC. My time there was during the 68' TET offensive. I was honorably discharged in 70', but Ben is still serving the country. He has my full respect.
Btw: What's this "we" designation, Trinacria? Are you a spokesperson for the other posters? Are you pregnant or do you have a mouse in your pocket? You can always skip Ben's posts. It's all about choice, and I'd bet hard money Ben would agree.
BodieSD| 4.18.12 @ 8:33PM
Yet you not only read his column, you feel the need to comment on it...
grant1863| 4.16.12 @ 1:19PM
I read Ben's column so I can read the comments afterwards, they are usually much better.
DidITweetThat| 8.4.12 @ 3:55PM
:)
Trinacria| 4.16.12 @ 2:54PM
Please, Mr. Tyrrell, how much longer must we endure the pointless babbling columns from this stooge?
amsron| 4.16.12 @ 3:40PM
It's a mystery to me how Ben can be worried about lack of oversight in air travel and not be worried about lack of oversight in the financial fields. After all, if you die in a plane crash, you won't have time to regret your choice of flight/airline. On the other hand, if you choose the wrong broker...you'll have the rest of your life to regret your mistake...in much reduced circumstances.
messup| 4.16.12 @ 4:15PM
A true Wall Street insiders view of the "inside."
Why, pray tell, did TARP go mostly to "too big to fail?" One would surmise, as good as Wall Street operates (per recomendations lavished in this article), "too big to fail" companies just didn't merit this "perk." Now, commentaries are flip-flopping to "too big to fail" would have done just that...failed. Had not bailouts taken place. Subsequent depression (their 'expert' analysis) would have been ten times worse.
NAH! Wall Street types are solely seeking their bonuses, their commissions, "churning," and Greed. Wall Street got everything American into this mess and continues to operate "on the margin." Sorry, Wall Street IS the problem. My broker is a lier. While stocks were tanking, he told me to continue investing...can you imagine that?
Not an honest bone in any of these bozo's body. Talk to an insurance sales person lately? They'll tell you the sole on their shoe is sliced ham and good for your health. None in Finance have a single, honest bone in their body. Buy land.
George | 4.16.12 @ 4:39PM
Boring story. Why I didn't just skip Mr Stein's column like I usually do, I'm not sure, but it's not a mistake I'll make again soon.
loupgarous| 4.16.12 @ 5:04PM
I'm glad you had good luck with YOUR flight on an Embraer. I missed a lunch meeting with a client in Washington because the Embraer I was supposed to take to Atlanta Hartsfield had an engine failure (thankfully before take-off) and it was two hours before SAS (not the Scandinavian airline, but Delta's "feeder" airline for short hops in the South) could bring a substitute aircraft around. That, and an engine failure DURING takeoff from Newark on an AirBus have carved into my heart this refrain:
"If it ain't Boeing, I ain't going!"
beebop2| 4.16.12 @ 6:39PM
Let me understand ....
The day after five humans DIED in severe weather, this bloviating blohard bitches about a FLIGHT? Goddam. No wonder people think those who put an "R" behind their name think that we are out of touch. Here, ladies and gentlemen, is Exhibit "A."
loupgarous| 4.16.12 @ 7:16PM
I don't remember anyone with a "D" after his name prefacing his remarks with a call for silent meditation for tornado and storm victims the day before. I'd make a nasty generalization about whatever political group YOU belong to, but I'm not going to compete with you in that game.
beebop2| 4.17.12 @ 6:39AM
Defend him all you want. He's a bloviating out of touch Californian and, yes, I know he was born in Maryland. He's got the MINDSET of a Californian and that is that.
This is the guy who thinks that 0bama is likeable. Stuff it. This space is for OUR opinions. Get it?
Trinacria| 4.16.12 @ 9:01PM
Stein is about as close to an "R" as I am to a Superbowl MVP...
Out of here| 4.16.12 @ 8:23PM
I'm dropping my email subscription to The Spectator after this trash.
Nixonfan| 4.16.12 @ 9:44PM
Ben,
As far as I can remember, the last retail brokerage that screwed its clients was Prudential Bache, with fraudulent and illegal tax shelters in the 80's. Since then, retail brokerage customers have been well-served by the Street.
Frank| 4.16.12 @ 9:58PM
People in the financial industry are the only group I have ever had ethics issues with...such as trading like crazy right after my father died, and recommending their own (mediocre) mutual funds to my mother. I got another check today from a class action settlement from the PBHG fiasco from 10(?) years ago. The prior owner of PBHG told a hedge fund (in which his money was invested) what stocks he was planning to sell in the fund he was running (PBHG), to give the hedge fund firm time to short that stock. He was only a multi-multi-millionaire, can't blame him for wanting some more $$$, right? He even gave his unqualified daughter a job running a fund (into the ground).
dbdenny| 4.16.12 @ 10:26PM
Enjoy your writing. Speaking of financial health...Have you any insights about this? i.e.,
Kevin Freeman, at the Heritage Foundation:
'Secret Weapon: How Economic Terrorism Brought Down the U.S. Stock Market and Why It Can Happen Again'
link.brightcove.com
Who’s really to blame for America’s catastrophic financial meltdown and devastating national recession? Contrary to what the “Occupy Movement” might tell you, it’s not greedy Wall Street executives.
Crassus| 4.17.12 @ 12:37AM
That old routine "Flying Southern Comfort" by Rodney Dangerfield keeps popping into my head.
We're gonna have to bypass LaGuardia.
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Subotai| 4.19.12 @ 12:23AM
Not sure what that was about. Fear of death, flying, or -- in his last thoughts before firy death, how much he loved his financial servants.
BTW, how delightful could any lady who watches Fox be? Maybe it's just me, but I don't actually like dumb and screwed up ladies that much.
DidITweetThat| 8.4.12 @ 3:53PM
Well I hope you got a chance to squeeze one out in the restroom (or can you just do that in your seat in first class) thinking about that Sara Bard while your saintly wife was nearby... I know I have, but it's OK, I had a sock to clean it up with...
Oh wait, what was my point? OH THAT'S RIGHT! it was the same as yours.... There was one?