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Ben Stein's Diary
A Perfect Sunday
In Washington, D.C., the way it should be.
It is Sunday. April Fool’s Day. I awakened in my apartment at the Watergate and looked out the window. Overcast and gloomy. Back to sleep. When I awakened again, sunlight was pouring in.
I got up, got dressed, met my pal Bob Noah, and was off to greet a perfect Spring Day.
First stop was the Freer Gallery. This is a spectacular jewel of Asian Art and the works of the greatest 19th century American artist, Whistler. Its design alone, airy, brilliantly roomy, immense windows, inspiring courtyard, would make it great. But the collections from China, Japan, Indochina, and Korea — not to mention India, are spectacular.
It is attached to another great gallery, the Sackler, which has more Japanese art and a fine gift shop. I bought gifts for my wife, my daughter-in-law, some of the fine women who work for us, and then Bob and I sat outside and basked in the sun and breezes.
There was a soccer game going on in the Mall. School groups from all over came by. People were dazed with happiness from the sunshine. Dogwoods, redbuds, tulips, azaleas, everything was in bloom.
Then a lightning trip to the National Gallery to see the new exhibit of Japanese paintings of birds and fishes from centuries ago. Magnificent. All of this is free, by the way. It does not cost a penny to bathe in such genius.
A long trip to the gift shop for more gifts for my wife and our daughter-in-law. Then a conversation with a young woman conservative from Grove City College in Michigan. She was stunningly beautiful and extremely polite.
Bob drove me over to Georgetown. Families were parading back and forth on M Street, looking like the happiest families you ever wanted to see. So many happy kids with their happy parents. Again, all free, except for the food. Better than any amusement park. The real stuff. Not papier mache.
Then, pizza on M Street. I knew almost everyone in the dining room of the pizzeria. One family was headed by a man who used to work with my father at Slate. He was a blessed man, with his staggeringly good-looking daughter and son and his very handsome and chipper mother and father. Three generations, apparently all doing well, all enjoying pizza on a sunny Georgetown day.
Another family at the restaurant lived near us in North Idaho. Yet another family also lived near us in North Idaho. Another lived near us in California. Another had parents near us in Rancho Mirage.
A school group from Kentucky wanted their photos with me at the pizzeria. Happy kids, happy parents, happy teachers.
Everyone was talking and everyone was friendly and excited. On the street, everyone was laughing and smiling and wanted their photos with me. Is it OK? That’s what I live for.
Then, a drive to the Georgetown Safeway. I met a tall, animal-loving model named Maureen, several doctors, a fellow grad of Yale Law School, graduating a mere 40 years after I did. I bought immense amounts of shrimp, shook hands with half of the people in the store, then Bob and I went back to his car.
I am not sure I have ever seen so many happy-looking young people in one day. And so many beautiful girls. Not PC to mention it, I know, even though it is most human beings’ obsession — to be beautiful or to be near beauty. And not one person was bragging about money. Not one person was making cutting comments about my politics. No one was trying to make anyone else feel bad.
I usually shop for food in Beverly Hills at a Pavilions (basically a Safeway) where people do not smile back at you even if you are right next to them in line and you grin at them. Beverly Hills has the absolutely least friendly people in this country. I am not sure why.
Then, back to the Watergate. I make shrimp, baked potatoes, green beans, and salmon for my wife and me. It is supposed to rain heavily tonight and tomorrow.
It was a perfect day in Washington, D.C. Just absolutely perfect. Now I am back in my apartment waiting for rain. I don’t care. It was a great day.
About the Author
Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes “Ben Stein’s Diary” for every issue of The American Spectator.
Letter to the Editor View all comments (37) | Leave a comment
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Jack in Wi.| 4.2.12 @ 7:58AM
Boy what a vapid life. Traveling from fancy home to fancy home and stuffing your face every day. Can't Mr. Ben find something else to write about.
Homeboy| 4.2.12 @ 8:12AM
Ben: You're awesome....How many Hollywood Jews are pro-life Republicans? You are a 1% er.
We love you.
Frank Drackman| 4.2.12 @ 8:24AM
@ Homo Jack:
like your life, traveling from rest stop to rest stop, stuffing your (redacted) every day is any better...
and your reply, unless its the cure for cancer, a one sentence explanation on how a curve ball curves, or the solution to Fermats hypothesis just proves your Homo-er than a football bat.
Frankie "The Nose" Drackman
Jack in Wi.| 4.2.12 @ 8:34AM
Homo: Frank is that the kind of talk for an adult. Can't you think up a more original insult. I was a big fan of Benny's writing for many years. It seems to me he is a very depressed indivigual who needs to get his act together.
Frank Drackman| 4.2.12 @ 9:17AM
Insult?
Your the one calling someone who spends more on toiletries than your whole net worth, wait, thats not fair.
Someone who spends more on toilet paper than your trailer was worth new.
If Ben Stein's life is "Vapid" book me 2 tickets to Vapid-Town.
And before trying to diagnose someone you've never met, much less examined, with a medical illness, might wanta learn how to spell "Individual"
Now get back to your Shine Box, Glans-Breath.
Frank
Jack in Wi.| 4.2.12 @ 9:22AM
You just proved my point. Who are you some 12 year old at some yeshiva on the West bank? Go beat up some poor old Palistinian lady. That is your speed.
Con Chef (NB) | 4.2.12 @ 9:49AM
Don't you have a Torah to burn, douchebag?
Frank Drackman| 4.2.12 @ 12:36PM
Dont dish it out if you cant take the heat, Smegma Breath...
Jeamar| 4.2.12 @ 10:42PM
What is it with you guys? Thank heaven you are all anonymous; I would hate to think I have ever met any of you. No man I have ever heard talks like you when you get on a roll; can't you take it someplace else? You really are very tiresome to everyone else.
Con Chef (NB) | 4.3.12 @ 12:17PM
You must not know any military guys or people who've worked in professional kitchens. My father was a Picasso of Profanity.
If our harsh denegration of the resident Jew hater, Jack, bothers you so much, I invite you to leave & find another site. Or don't read our comments. Now dab your eyes & cowbow the hell up.
Con Chef (NB) | 4.2.12 @ 9:46AM
What a dull existence Jack must lead. Unable to appreciate someone writing about a nice spring day in DC. Which happens to be one of the NICEST things about the whole place. Jack is jealous of the success of Mr. Stein. No doubt this also has a little to do with Mr. Stein's last name/religion. Jack also seems jealous of how Mr. Stein chooses to eat & where. This is, no doubt, due to the fact that Jack thinks that Vienna Sausages & E-Z Cheese are gourmet dining.
It must suck to be such a rube like Jack.
Homeboy| 4.2.12 @ 6:40PM
Jack thinks that Vienna Sausages & E-Z Cheese are gourmet dining.
That's a good one....Reminds me of the one that our locals don't know the difference between filet mignon and a beef burrito.
Occam's Tool| 4.2.12 @ 11:47AM
Better than yours, Jack. People want to be seen with him. And you know I bear no brief for Mr. Stein. But, at least he is a himan being, which is more than you are.
Alan Brooks| 4.2.12 @ 7:56PM
"Boy what a vapid life. Traveling from fancy home to fancy home and stuffing your face every day. Can't Mr. Ben find something else to write about"
Stein makes you realize where anti-semitism comes from. When Hitler wrote "fission fungi", he had the Steins of the world in mind.
Alan Brooks| 4.2.12 @ 8:00PM
... well, we shouldn't tqake him seriously, he is merely a journalist as in keeping a journal; he is travelogue-ist. Forget him, Jack- he isn't worth it.
KyMouse| 4.2.12 @ 8:47AM
"Then a lightning trip to the National Gallery to see the new exhibit of Japanese paintings of birds and fishes from centuries ago. Magnificent. All of this is free, by the way. It does not cost a penny to bathe in such genius."
The gallery's web site says that it is "sustained through a combination of federal and private donations."
The "federal" part sounds like taxpayer dollars, since the only money the government has is what it collects from us.
gearjammer| 4.2.12 @ 9:00AM
Nothing is free, not in the greed capital of the world=dc. sorry Ben but we are cynical, Ben is done being sued, scammed like he is(i believe him) truly must suck.
WillianInWien| 4.2.12 @ 9:17AM
Can't say that Mr. Stein is not on point, Spring time in DC is truly great! After a museum or two, a trip to the waterfront for fresh fish and then back to our car to find a parking ticket! Check out the signs again, what did we do wrong, as well as the long line of other ticket vehicles? Faced with the DC parking bureacracy, you just mail a check!
Frank Drackman| 4.2.12 @ 9:44AM
Ben,please never change,
Just Win Baby,
we might not share the same interests, I'd rather hit the Drive Through at Krystal and watch a little Wrestlemania XXVIII instead of Shellfish and pretentious Oriental drawings, but we share one interest..
Our friends staggering-ly good-looking daughters...
Just this weekend I had 8 of my friends staggering-ly good-looking daughters in my house, in my pook, IN MY BEDROOM!!!!!
Nuthin carnal, somebody got a splinter, and that was the easiest place to whip it out,
I mean pull it out,
I MEAN EXTRACT THE SPLINTER...
and hate to disagree, but Georgetown isn't the REAL America,
REAL America is the Sub-urbs, Germantown Maryland, Marietta Georgia, Babylon Long Island.
"Families Parading back and forth"??
I bet nobody was wearing a "The Rock" T-shirt...
Frank
Con Chef (NB) | 4.2.12 @ 9:48AM
One thing, Mr. Stein:
PLEASE tell us the name of the pizzaria! And try Ezme, if you haven't. One of the best Turkish meals I've ever had!
R Martin| 4.2.12 @ 9:51AM
A minor point: Grove City College is indeed a fine conservative school, but it is in western Pennsylvania. Hillsdale College, another fine conservative school, is in Michigan.
cvrgrl| 4.2.12 @ 11:37AM
well, it finally happened, jack (the liberal in pretend big boy moderate/independent panties) finally said something i can agree with:
"Boy what a vapid life. Traveling from fancy home to fancy home and stuffing your face every day. Can't Mr. Ben find something else to write about."
amer spec needs to lose stein, he's become a empty
shill for progressives
what he once had (at rare times), namely, a caustic wit, is now long gone, replaced by wimpering
there is a comic, richie rich, the poor little rich boy, who is now more cutting edge
jack in Wi, you are now 1 for 1,230,198,879, yay!
Les| 4.2.12 @ 12:53PM
I remember going on a class trip to DC back in 1971. Got our picture taken with Strom Thurmond! He was very nice to us,considering we were from chicago,Il and not his constituents.
Petronius| 4.2.12 @ 1:21PM
Ben
Order another pizza before Moochelle turns the place into a jr. high caf staffed by nutrition monitors. This week I'll have my annual Good Friday special: pineapple and shrimp.
Cheers
Patriot Gal NC| 4.2.12 @ 1:27PM
Lovely story Ben. It made me smile and feel good, amid the rather "dark" news and events these days. Thank you.
scotchieguy| 4.2.12 @ 1:43PM
This dude just cracks me up. Sometimes I think it is satire. I have never seen more name dropping or fancy places he knows or goes to in a one page article in my life. I have to admire his zest for life. He really seems happy. But come on. No one is this happy. With everything so serious and depressing in the news, his takes are a breath of fresh air.
SUBVET| 4.2.12 @ 1:54PM
Come on Ben......you ask why no one is friendly in Beverly Hills......one of the most liberal states in the union. CA is run just like this country by the same "do nothings". The state is broke, you have governor jerry who is intent on taxing his way out of debt and a mayor of LA who will try to fill jerry's spot.
CA people deserve everything they get for electing the same theives over and over. The last time CA was on track was when Ronald R. was governor.......
First time CA was in the black budget wise......oh yes wasen't he the last President to balance the budget......4 - 4 years. (thanks Newt)
MJ| 4.2.12 @ 3:08PM
People not smiling in BH due to alll the Plastic Surgery.
afvallenineenweek | 4.2.12 @ 3:59PM
Great article Ben , keep up the good work.
JP| 4.2.12 @ 4:59PM
I must admit that I do envy Ben Stein just a tad- a home in Malibu, an apartment at the Watergate, a vacation home in Idaho.
JohnD| 4.2.12 @ 6:32PM
JP, just remember that Ben having houses in DC, Mailbu, and Idaho, does not prevent YOU from having houses in DC, Malibu and Idaho. If you want houses in DC, Malibu and Idaho like Ben, then go buy houses in DC, Malibu and Idaho.
Just sayin'
e track from saq| 4.2.12 @ 8:03PM
Thanks for the words of encouragement.I too must travel to the seat of the beast next month.And hope to find myself as centered as you after a trip to see Eastern Core kitch.In all this world of space and time
Why must the devil be here be now attempting his crimes.
Let me,oh lord,walk in the DC that use to be.
A lone warrior like a blossom upon a lone cherry tree.
Tiddly| 4.2.12 @ 8:06PM
Why is it now "Asian" instead of Oriental art? What's wrong with the word "Oriental?"
A friend of mine wrote his WWII memoirs (Above the Thunder, R. Kerns), and they were published by an academic press (Kent State U.). He had written about the "conical Oriental hats" that he saw everywhere in the Philippines, and several other references to Oriental this or Oriental that.
The KSU Press editors changed every "Oriental" in his book to "Asian." "Asian" hats, "Asian clothing," "Asian facial features", etc.
When he asked why (since nobody referred to Asian anything in the 1940s), the editors told him that "Oriental" now applies only to rugs, and nothing else (do they now have an Asian Express?)" He was not allowed to use the word "Oriental" anywhere (and the word "native" was also forbidden).
So now Oriental is some sort of derogatory term, it seems. So, if so, why is that? How did Oriental become non-PC?
Bob K.| 4.3.12 @ 12:42AM
A man goes to war to help save freedom and with it the 1st Amendment and writes his memoirs about it and an academic publisher who benefited from the victory and who should know better censors his words simply because they are not politically correct!
One can't help but wonder if the entire 2nd World War was worth the effort!
Mike H| 4.2.12 @ 9:24PM
Washington is a great place to work. I can recall walking through area with the smell of grass and spring on the Mall, and an occasional whiff of hot dogs boiling in a street vendor's cart. Good smells. Tourists trying to find something and being able to tell them where they should go or park. I am the person that sees a family with a member taking a picture an unable to be in the shot - I offer to take their family shot. There is nothing worse that not being in the shot as I have lived much of my family life looking through the viewfinder.
Historical buildings with elaborate carvings that no one appreciates anymore, thinking of what happened there decades - maybe hundreds of years ago.
You are right and we are fortunate. What a day to be alive.
Jack L in Phoenix| 4.4.12 @ 2:51PM
I love Ben Stein. He is such a sweet, generous guy. He has made peace with his notoriety and familiarity by surrendering to each and every person who stops him and wants a minute or two. If I were as familiar as Ben is, I hope I would be as accommodating as he is