The American Spectator : Sean Penn and Me

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Sean Penn and Me

By H. W. Crocker, III on 2.20.12 @ 6:07AM

Guess which one doesn't know much about history.

I know I shouldn't, but I always feel a sense of personal responsibility when Sean Penn says something stupid. You see, it was my father who taught him history -- or at least sort of. For some, Sean Penn's most famous role -- something he might regret -- is as the pothead surfer dude Jeff Spicoli in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. His strict, disciplinarian U.S. history teacher in that film, Mr. Hand, was my dad. I don't mean the actor who portrayed Mr. Hand, Roy Walston. I mean the real U.S. history teacher at Clairemont (Ridgemont) High on whom Mr. Hand was based.

If you haven't seen Fast Times at Ridgemont High, don't. But whenever I hear Sean Penn spouting off in Hollywood leftist style, I can't help but think that Mr. Hand should have had some more time with Jeff Spicoli.

Penn's latest inanity is to have called the Falkland Islands "the Malvinas Islands of Argentina" and to say that "the world today is not going to tolerate any ludicrous and archaic commitment to colonialist ideology" -- this in reference to Britain's defense of the people of the Falkland Islands, most of whom (about 70 percent) are of British descent (most of the rest are Scandinavian), and who have been ruled by Britain since 1833 (the British originally claimed the islands in 1765) and don't want to be conquered by the Argentines.

In the British press, Penn has already been urged to take his anti-colonialist ideology to its logical end and give his Malibu estate to the Mexicans who are presumed to work on it. One could go further of course. Perhaps he could call for California's return to Mexico -- it has been part of the United States for a shorter period of time than the Falklands have been British. Or perhaps he should go further still and demand that Argentina be returned to the Indians. Argentina, after all, was made by Spanish colonialism, and more than four-fifths of Argentines are of European stock. Argentina's president, Cristina Fernández de Kirchner, with whom Penn visited, is herself of Spanish and German heritage. And Sean Penn would not be living in California were it not for an even earlier act of colonialism -- that of Britain seeding the United States with colonies in the first place and British traditions that make for a prosperous economy and freedom of speech, the sort of things that allow Sean Penn to be Sean Penn.

Insofar as we see free speech, a free economy, representative government, and an independent judiciary as global standards, norms, or aspirations -- and given Penn's penchant for admiring leftist dictators like Hugo Chavez, he might not -- we really have to tip our hat to the British Empire. In fact, we should give three cheers for British colonialism. It is the British who established these rights and institutions at home and spread them abroad from Hong Kong and Australia to Canada and Barbados. In the twentieth century's darkest hours -- when they were most threatened -- it was someone with an "archaic commitment to colonialist ideology," Winston Churchill, who led the British Empire, and the West, into hot war against the National Socialism of Adolf Hitler, a revolutionary who might have succeeded, and cold war against Soviet Communism, which Churchill knew was ultimately doomed to fail of its own contradictions. (Though of course Penn might not appreciate that last fact either.)

Like Jeff Spicoli, I went to Clairemont (Ridgemont) High. I didn't take my dad's history course, but I still managed to learn a fair bit. And as I recall the surfer dudes in my class were smarter than the average student. I can't imagine any of them thinking or talking like Sean Penn. When the Falklands War erupted (while I was in college), the surfers I knew thought Britain's imperial response -- the Royal Marines, the Harrier jump jets, Prince Andrew in his Sea King helicopter -- was "totally bitchin'." I'm with them.

About the Author

H. W. Crocker, III is a bestselling author. His most recent book is The Politically Incorrect Guide to the British Empire.

Letter to the Editor View all comments (74) | Leave a comment

MarkR| 2.20.12 @ 7:22AM

Who in their right mind has ever thought Sean Penn had even three brain cells?

Dennis| 2.20.12 @ 12:38PM

At one time I was sure he had at least four. Clearly, I was mistaken.

Gr0w1er601| 2.20.12 @ 1:12PM

Planeria (common pond water flat worms) are smarter than Mr. Penn.

Charles Meek| 2.20.12 @ 7:53AM

Incisive column, sir! Minor quibble: the actor's name is Ray Walston, also memorable in "Damn Yankees," "Paint Your Wagon," and "My Favorite Martian."

albert constantine jr.| 2.20.12 @ 8:23AM

and who could forget "The Sting"?

Seek| 2.20.12 @ 5:13PM

And as a bad guy in "Silver Streak."

Drek| 2.20.12 @ 5:27PM

He was also in South Pacific, where he was a flat-out riot.

albert constantine jr| 2.20.12 @ 6:05PM

There ain't nothing like a dame.

Manya Shochet| 2.21.12 @ 2:00AM

Get a load of Honeybun tonight.

Die Fledermaus| 2.22.12 @ 1:02AM

Probably a typo he, and the editors, missed.

PattyMor| 2.20.12 @ 7:58AM

If Mr. penn loved socialism/communism/marxism so much, he should be willing to donate his considerable forturne to the government, so it can continue its social service business. He's selfish, just plain selfish. And his wealth should be pried out of cold
heartless hands.

Anthony| 2.20.12 @ 9:56AM

That's the rub, isn't it, about these Hollywood hyprocrites?
Penn, like the rest of the dim bulbs that comprise Glittertown, is a complete and total FRAUD.
These Rolex revolutionaries love to talk the talk, stroll down to OWS, shake a few hands, get their pictures taken, then are whisked off by limo to their 4 star hotel to wash the rabble off their pansy- assed hides.
I especially love how these clowns demonstrate their bravado against folks who will never retaliate. Bush was a favorite target for these phony heros to talk tough, knowing Bush's new tone was in full effect.
I especially remember dim bulb Tim Robbins, who made a speech one day about some innocous thing Bush did that Robbins thought was the beginning of lefty roundup. Robbins called it a "Chill Wind".
Of course Dictator Obozo has run roughshod over the Constitution, has governed against the will of the people, attempted to shut down media outlets, but not a peep out of Robbins.
Apparently, there is never a chill wind where lefties are concerned.
Penn, Robbins, Sarandon, and the rest of these phony a- holes, make as much sense as Jeff Spicoli, which is why Hollywood is as broke as the NY Times.

SHERMAN RIDES AGAIN| 2.20.12 @ 12:58PM

Great post. Penn is an idiot with a lot of cash. Typical of Hollywood.

Tex Expatriate| 2.20.12 @ 2:05PM

I second what you have written, I but want to veer away from that a ways. Before I started college I hung around Chicago a year or so, where I met several fellows who went to Hollywood later on and became big names. Most of them were as ignorant as posts. One I recall, was not. He wore coke bottle glasses, stalked the north side of Chicago with pockets filled with books, and wore dirty clothes and foul-smelling sneakers. He became a regular in Hollywood and was a genuine intellectual, but his name will be forever unknown.

The only really smart guy I knew then who went to Hollywood and made a fortune without making a marquee name for himself made it in advertising. I met him in college, where he excelled in many things and was well-read in several fields.
My experience among American actors was that the dumb handsome ones became stars and the average-looking intelligent ones made money and were basically unknown.

Die Fledermaus| 2.22.12 @ 1:03AM

At least the South Park guys gave it to them good in "Team America"!

Pecos Pete| 2.20.12 @ 8:05AM

Sean Penn? Who is he?

PaulyD| 2.20.12 @ 9:28AM

He's a high school dropout.

I don't suppose it was much of a stretch as an actor for him to play the role of Jeff Spicoli.

albert constantine jr.| 2.20.12 @ 8:22AM

Sean Penn's view of history? Totally bogus, dude.

W| 2.20.12 @ 8:30AM

My favorite Sean Penn movie scene is in Carlito's Way with Al Pacino. Penn plays a sleazy coked-up lawyer who gets shot and killed in a New York hospital by a mafioso. Pacino had removed the bullets from Penn's gun and Penn had the terrified look on his face when he tried to fire the gun.

albert constantine jr| 2.20.12 @ 10:25AM

I think that was the same look on his face in 2005 in New Orleans when he arrived post-Katrina to help, shotgun in hand, and his boat started to sink.

On the topic of Sean Penn, though, I always found it curious that the State of California issued him a concealed carry firearms permit after he served jail time for violating probation for assaulting a photographer. While misdemeanor assault convictions don't have the effect of eternally prohibiting someone from possessing firearms in every jurisdiction (unless, under Lautenberg, the misdemeanor is for domestic violence, which Mr. Penn might have, as well), I would think that it a state like California where they deny so many permits, such a criminal history might make it a little more difficult to attain.

Bob Grant| 2.20.12 @ 11:34AM

People on 'ludes should not own firearms permits!

Seek| 2.20.12 @ 5:16PM

Oh, Pacino was great in that. So was Penn. Sorry for bucking the orthodoxy, but Penn's best roles for me were in Clint Eastwood's "Mystic River" (2003) and Woody Allen's "Sweet and Lowdown" (1999). Neither had anything to do with politics, one reason among several why I liked those movies so much.

W| 2.20.12 @ 7:05PM

I agree that "Mystic River" was excellent. Wasn't Penn's father one of the so called blacklisted Hollywood commie writers in the 50's?

albert constantine jr| 2.20.12 @ 8:05PM

I believe it was Arthur Penn, who I think was one of the communists identified and blacklisted, so Sean likely does come by it through heredity.

Occam's Tool| 2.21.12 @ 3:03PM

Pearls before Swine, Mr. Crocker.

cowgirl| 2.20.12 @ 8:35AM

Sean Penn at one time, I am not sure that he still does, lived in Marin County, California. About 10 years ago Sean Penn, who is one of the very few people living in Marin Country who possess a concealed weapon permit, decided to have lunch in downtown Berzkeley. He had a limited edition Buick Grand Nataional worth a lot of money that he drove to Berzkeley. He parked his car on the street nearby the cafe and stupidly left his 9mm glock and smith & wesson 38 weapons in the car. First mistake. The car, sticking out like a sore thumb, was stolen with the weapons in the trunk. About a year later, one of the weapons was found linked to a murder in Richmond, California. The other was found in the possession of a 16 year African American boy who was arrested in one of the East Bay Regional Parks.

Sean Penn is mentally ill. Like most liberals.

SUBVET| 2.20.12 @ 12:08PM

Quote from movie......THE RUM DIARY "a liberal is a comunist with a mind of a negro".

Gr0w1er601| 2.20.12 @ 1:15PM

On that quote alone makes "The Rum Diary" worth a look!

Drunken Sailor| 2.20.12 @ 4:32PM

I really want to see that movie now. Even better if Johnny Depp had to say that line. It would make him grind his teeth.

SUBVET| 2.20.12 @ 7:44PM

Mr. Zimberger said that line......this movie is about the writer Paul Kemp. Depp isn't my favorite actor but in this movie I have to give him a 4-5 star performance. In fact the more I think about the movie I will have to see it again.

SUBVET| 2.20.12 @ 7:53PM

Mr. Zimberger: She's a sweet little beauty.
Paul Kemp (Depp): I was...looking at his boat.
Mrs. Zimberger: We've all been been down on her, it's a wonderful experience.

Cromulent| 2.20.12 @ 8:48AM

I've never been able to make my mind up about Sean Penn. Is he a bad guy because he slapped around his wife? Or is he a good guy because he hit Madonna?

Gr0w1er601| 2.20.12 @ 1:21PM

Say, that IS a conundrum!?!

Gary B| 2.20.12 @ 1:40PM

Very funny...

Occam's Tool| 2.21.12 @ 3:05PM

Bad guy. He didn't hit Madonna because she was a Leftist (she, by the way, like a broken clock, is good on two issues near to my heart--Israel and Foreign adoptions).

TinaB| 2.20.12 @ 9:02AM

And treated like royalty wherever he goes. Talk about mentally ill, what's up America?

Janis| 2.20.12 @ 9:11AM

I agree with PattyMor but then he should move to North Korea, Cuba or Venezula and live like a normal citizen.

Von Mises Jr.| 2.20.12 @ 9:20AM

The Bristish Empire was made possible by the Roman Empire laws and infrastructure. The Roman Empire was part and parcel a product of the Greeks.

So let's be clear. The liberals aim at erasing almost every aspect of society and culture that has thrived for three-thousand years. Good luck with that?

Nemo| 2.20.12 @ 9:30AM

"The Bristish Empire was made possible by the Roman Empire laws and infrastructure. The Roman Empire was part and parcel a product of the Greeks." Actually it was largely based on Saxon laws, codified by precedent under Alfred the Great.

And it was Neville Chamberlain, not Churchill, who declared war on Hitler.

These are minor quibbles. The general thrust of the article is correct.

Ken in People's Republic of MD| 2.20.12 @ 9:33AM

I will not deny that Sean Penn is freaking insane. His political views often border on the absurd. However, that doesn't mean "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" should be avoided. In fact, it is one of the quintessential 8O's high school movies, others being "The Breakfast Club" and "Teachers".

Who can forget Phoebe Cates in a bikini, or Spicoli having pizza delivered to the classroom? As a high school teacher, I see characters like this everyday. No, it doesn't present an image of high school we would like to see, but, not everything is so cut and dried. Kids are kids, they do stupid things, and like it or not, their minds are not always on school work. Can anyone out there honestly say that you spent all of your time in high school worrying about grades? There are so many new stimuli for high school students, the opposite sex, cars, work, the whole growing up thing. Many kids make the most of their time in high school but there are some for whom a classroom is wasted. That's the way it is.

For those who have never seen Fast Times, see it. And, while you're at it, see "The Breakfast Club" and "Teachers". Three great movies about the high school years, all from a different perspective and all still relevant today.

Anthony| 2.20.12 @ 10:14AM

I agree Ken, the movie is indeed quintessential California '80s, and should be watched for Ms. Cates alone.
However, Jeff Spicoli is quintessential Hollywood; whenever we see these perpetual adolescent preening peacocks on TV, attempting to act intelligent and worldly, championing their pet cause du jour, we should all picture Jeff Spicoli slapping his head with his sneaker, and laugh out loud.
Where's my brain, dude?

albert constantine jr| 2.20.12 @ 10:30AM

I concur that Fast Times is a fine movie for the reasons you state. I would just quibble around the margins that is was the image of Phoebe Cates minus parts of the bikini, and what followed, that remains seared, seared (as John Kerry might say) on the minds of so many.

"Doesn't anybody f'--in knock anymore?"

fungoking| 2.20.12 @ 10:56AM

Teachers sucked...every, I mean every liberal education cliche is there. Burned out teacher's noble act for which he almost looses his job..taking an underage girl to get an abortion with out her parents knowing about it.

KyMouse| 2.20.12 @ 12:01PM

I hope you're being sarcastic. Are you saying that a teacher's taking a girl to abort her baby is a noble act?

What's noble about killing a helpless baby? Why does the baby deserve the death penalty?

"My parents will kill me" is the constant refrain of teenagers, yet what they mean is "My parents will be disappointed in me, and I'll be ashamed and embarrassed."

Yes, that is likely, but the parents deserve the opportunity, and have the right, to know what problems their daughter is facing. News flash -- they may step up to the plate and help her do what is best for herself AND for her baby (their grandchild)! They may love her far more than she, or that teacher, can imagine.

And they just might want to see that the baby's father takes responsibility for HIS relationship with their daughter. The teacher won't, will he?

And if the abortion does more than kill her baby -- it may hurt or kill the mother as well -- her parents, not the teacher, will be the ones who have the responsibility to care for her.

The baby should be nurtured until he or she can be delivered and given to adoptive parents, if the mother and her family aren't going to raise him or her.

Is there any baby who doesn't deserve that chance?

fungoking| 2.20.12 @ 6:38PM

Yes, you need to get your sarcasism detector fixed.

Ken in People's Republic of MD| 2.20.12 @ 6:06PM

No, "Teachers" didn't suck. Sure, you had the liberal teacher crusader, but ya know what? You still have liberal teacher crusaders, and you had them 30 years before "Teachers". Remember Glenn Ford in "Blackboard Jungle"?

"Teachers" was made in 1984, and so many years later, many of the same situations occur on an almost daily basis. And even if you hate "Teachers", it has one line in one scene that is the reason education, then and now, is in such dire straights.

There's a scene where Ralph Macchio's mother is in Nick Nolte's office discussing her husband, Ralph's father, not being allowed to contact Ralph. After much back and forth, as the woman is leaving, Nolte bolts up and in an exasperated voice, yells, "Don't you care about your son's education?" And the mother turns to him and says in an almost bemused tone, "Isn't that your job, Mr. Jerel."

Like it or hate it, "Teachers" hit the nail right on the head. Great movie.

And yeah, Albert, you are right, the missing part of Phoebe's bikini certainly made the movie. But, truth be told, Phoebe in a bikini, period, is almost too much to bear. And she's still a babe, saw her recently, she's married to Kevin Kline. Kevin Kline!?!? Ugh!

Die Fledermaus| 2.22.12 @ 1:08AM

I loved Fast Times. It's about Cates taking OFF her bikini top that is unforgettable! lol

The Breakfast Club, to me, just sucked beyond belief. I truly hate forced "quirky" characters and exploring their poor psychic problems. They are teens for goodness sakes.

Melvin| 2.20.12 @ 9:38AM

The solution is simple with Sean Penn. Insert a small nuclear device in his nether region, unknowingly to him, send him over to Iran and have a photo op with the Weird Beards, viola Iran problem solved over a really bad case of constipation. And not to mention of solving our Hollywood village idiot problem.

Elias| 2.20.12 @ 2:28PM

Where's the "Like" button when you actually need it?

Seek| 2.20.12 @ 5:17PM

I'd love to apply that idea to Rick Santorum and other cheerleaders for war with Iran.

Elias| 2.21.12 @ 1:33AM

Doesn't all that sand getting in your mouth, ears and nose bother you?

Occam's Tool| 2.21.12 @ 3:07PM

What's wrong with nuking Iran?

Kevin W Compton| 2.20.12 @ 9:40AM

Using the same (il)logic of people like Sean Penn, the US should lay claim to Bermuda.

Doctor Right| 2.20.12 @ 9:49AM

A-hole, wife-beater, over-opinionated and under-educated ignoramus...

Yup. That's Sean Penn.

Dennis| 2.20.12 @ 12:43PM

C'mon, man. How do you really feel about him?

Will| 2.20.12 @ 10:22AM

I'm guessing his "work" is finished in Haiti, where I'm told, they are still sleeping on the ground, the fire truck is still not working, and Duvalier is back. Oh, and the money is all gone. Bet he's got an "important" film in the can, about the project.

TomRath| 2.20.12 @ 10:28AM

Sean Penn is a talented actor, which means he's accomplished at pretending to be people he's not.

He thinks this gives him the right to tell us how to live.

It does not.

I have one question for Sean: what's the last book you read which had a point of view other than your own?

tsd| 2.20.12 @ 11:13AM

Read??? I think you are expecting way to much out of this moron!!!

Gr0w1er601| 2.20.12 @ 10:32AM

Spicoli's talking out his pot-head ass again. Should've kept smacking his head more with his vans® shoe. Maybe he would've realized what he was saying is total horse shit. Nahh...

Louis Jenkins| 2.20.12 @ 11:37AM

Dear Mr. Cocker:

I guess someone had to dig thru the trash pile to come up with the lastest antics of Penn. That person is the lowest of low, the crapiest of the cess pool, the highest among the thieves. Next time, try to come up with something more interesting. He's a dirt heap.

Jim Woodward| 2.20.12 @ 11:39AM

Actors should act, singers should sing. Like all of us, they do have opinions; not so much grounded in fact, though, for so many of them.

As this Falklands thing brews up, some of you might enjoy:

One Hundred Days: The Memoirs of the Falklands Battle Group Commander by Admiral Sandy Woodward with Patrick Robinson. Foreward by The Rt. Hon. Margeret Thatcher. Harper Collins,1992

Warning to Sean, there are big words.

kenn paul| 2.20.12 @ 12:15PM

Good post. Too bad Mr. Penn won't be able to read it (too many two or more syllable words). Sadly, he is not alone in his ignorance of history.

Mike 3/505| 2.20.12 @ 1:58PM

What is so sad...is that even our most (for me) revered institutions buy into his crap. I watched the Joint Task Force Commander, a 3-Star general, put Penn at his right hand during the daily ops brief during Haiti relif operations. He actually asked his opinion on how to go about some of the things were trying to get done. I wanted to barf my recently consumed MRE all over the ops tent.

Regards,

Mike

albert constantine jr| 2.20.12 @ 3:09PM

Sounds like someone wants a technical adviser gig when they make the movie following his military career.

Melvin| 2.20.12 @ 3:28PM

Maybe I am overlooking something, but who is funding the village idiot's political junkets?
I'm quite sure Einstein's opposite isn't about to spend his own money. Liberals love to spout anti-capitalism as long as someone else is footing the bill.

albert constantine jr| 2.20.12 @ 4:52PM

It wouldn’t surprise me if he wasn’t sheltering his earnings in a “foundation” like Michael Moore, or writing off his expenses as his next “film development project”. Lefties seem to want all of the other rich to pay more taxes, but when it comes their own money, I can’t imagine that there is any deduction that goes unclaimed.

hardcard| 2.20.12 @ 6:36PM

who's paying for the junket ? The US of A he's on the payroll of o-turd and the ambasador to Haiti. He's getting closer to chavez.

POST American| 2.20.12 @ 10:43PM

Penn is NOT a great actor.

We get NO sense of the inward ground
in his performances --riveting though they
are.

Penn ---IS--- however, a superb impressionist
who can carry on a sustained impersonation
with spot on credibility.

There'a a big difference.

Another BIG difference with our current
crop of 'Great's is the confusion between
'acting' and 'acting out'.

DeNiro is amazing at acting out
---NOT acting.

He has gripped, riveted and seared us
--but NEVER ---no NEVER moved us.

albert constantine jr.| 2.20.12 @ 11:53PM

Post, I wasn't aware you were branching out into entertainment.Insightful (and don't forget my offer for the musical).

Juan Jose Morales-Castillo| 2.21.12 @ 12:25AM

The only way the British can keep the MALVINAS forever is if they uproot it and plant it in the center of England. As long as the MALVINAS are within swimming distance of Argentina the latter will not forsake its claim, just as Ireland will not forsake its claim to N Ireland, Spain to Gibraltar, Guatemala to the south of Belize, and Venezuela and Suriname to parts of Guyana.
Juan Jose Morales-Castillo, a Latin American who is highly outraged at how the US betrays its own Monroe Doctrine by allowing its Sassenach cronies to keep colonies in post-colonial America.

nister| 2.21.12 @ 4:43AM

Argentina should overrun the Malvinas, then retreat home just as the Brits arrive, at great expense, to retake. Then Britain can either bleed treasure by remaining in force, or face the certainty of Argentina repeating the scenario as often, and as casually, as it pleases.

POST American| 2.21.12 @ 11:29PM

-----And everyone paying attention
to the latest phase of bottom blowing?

AS we move from DENIAL of the CFR
RED China handover and TREASON OP
---to broad daylight consolidation

------AND as Rockefeller EUGENIST Bill
Gates is moving forward with softkill population
extermination ---even as he buys off the media
across the world ------NO public MORAL
INDIGNATION whatsoever from the
'caring' of Hollywood.

------------------NOT A PEEP.

Just a little REALITY BYTE as Hollywood
continues to BURY 6 decades of Anniversaries
for the brutally relevant, EUGENICS --'unfriendly'

--------------------KOREAN WAR--------------------

Lee Zehrer| 2.22.12 @ 10:32AM

This is just business for Sean Penn and his handers, and they’re good at it as you can see the press he’s gotten. He really doesn’t care anymore about the Falklands than the people of Haiti…which as you can see he’s moved on from already.

StanO| 2.22.12 @ 8:02PM

He is an example of being just slightly more intelligent than your peers, unfortunately he peers are very unimpressive. But it apparently gives him the feeling of superiority he desires.

Re: The British colonialism, as a Sociology student in the early 80's post-colonial revisionism was in full swing. But being a geography nut, I couldn't help but notice that being a part of the British Empire left relative properity in it's wake.