ABC television has just announced that it will unveil a new
survivor reality series, “Occupy Whatever!” based on the popular
Occupy movement that has popped up in scores of cities across
America and is proving to have universal appeal — not just in the
U.S. but also London. (A new group calling itself Occupy Tahiti has
just emerged in Papeete, protesting a 2.3 decline in orchid
production. A further outrage is that a major Tahitian export,
vanilla, is owned by one percent of Tahitians.)
“We think this thing has real legs,” said Jarvis T.
Bimstein, vice president of reality programming at ABC-TV. “We even
test-marketed a couple of Occupy Whatever! shows in Duluth, Minn.,
and Vallejo, Calif., that had great numbers. It’s going to be the
next big thing on TV.”
The concept, as Bimstein explains it, would be to see
which protester ends up surviving the longest in all the
encampments around America (licensed by the network) that have
begun to attract diverse demonstrators — freelance homeless
people, colorful drug addicts, gifted sidewalk performers,
unemployed sign-painters, radical college professors, and random
loonies.
The movement has engaged the public and fascinated the
press, whose non-stop coverage of the Occupy movement first
suggested to Bimstein that there just might be a TV series in the
phenomenon. “We decided to strike now while the country’s attention
is still riveted on the actual Occupiers,” he said.
The cast of the pilot show, comprised of protesters drawn
at random from actual encampments, will set up their tents and
attempt to out-last each other while fending off mock police raids
that want to shut them down, adding to the dramatic
impact.
Those demonstrators voted off the park or plaza will be
forced to leaver the encampment, but not before delivering a snarky
comment or two about their fellow survivor hopefuls. On the
test-marketed Duluth show, semi-finalist Dotty Cranshaw, 34,
endured a brutal early-winter snowstorm, a robbery, several sexual
predators and a rabid pit bull in the adjoining tent. Cranshaw
lasted six weeks with only a small he plate, a few blankets, and a
well-thumbed copy of People magazine.
When her plight was featured on YouTube, Cranshaw was
contacted by ABC-TV and asked if she would be willing to appear on
“Occupy Whatever!” As Bimstein recalled, “She told me, ‘Hey, dude,
why not? It’s a pay day.’” After signing a routine release form,
Cranshaw was flown to Hollywood to appear on the debut “Occupy
Whatever!” show that begins Dec. 15 at 9 pm/8 Central.
Cranshaw will be stationed on a traffic island in West Los
Angeles competing against retired sidewalk mime Fred Flanders,
street people Jack R. (Big Mac) McDingle and Ella Grady. English
teacher Joel. C. Ashberg and a prominent guest protester to be
named later — possibly Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan fulfilling a
community service gig picking up on-site trash.
Viewers will watch protesters interacting in various
realistic situations before deciding which participants should be
voted off the traffic island. In the Vallejo, Calif., test run,
when a small fire broke out in one of the tents near city hall,
inhabitants of the camp were forced to react. Fran Ranter, a
student protester who slept through the fire, was asked to leave
the encampment, but not before she explained her actions to the
camera. In a trembling voice, Ranter said:
“I’ve done nothing to warrant being voted off. It’s just
so darn unfair! Anyone could fall asleep in this weather. It’s
freezing out here.” Ranter vowed to return in another “Occupy
Whatever!” protest site in Burbank.
She claimed other female protesters were jealous of her
good looks, but a woman in a nearby tent said, “She’s just a bitch
and nobody out here liked her. You call what she did — holding an
upside-down sign — protesting? She was an embarrassment to the
entire camp from the moment she showed up with her stupid
cat.”
Bimstein noted that Occupiers will need to be ready to
react to any and all challenges to determine which protesters will
be eligible for the final showdown, to be telecast from the
Hollywood Bowl before several thousand fans cheering on their
favorite finalists.
A few of the difficult situations contestants will be
forced to deal with in coming weeks include a simulated 5.7
earthquake and tsunami, speeches by local politicians trying to
grab some TV face time, confused pizza delivery boys and a
dangerous outbreak of folksingers. Protesters who fail to make the
final cut will still be eligible to participate in out-of-town
road-show encampments.
Bimstein said that several sponsors for the series have
been lined up — the Coleman lantern company, Eddie Bauer, a trail
mix distributor and two porta-potty companies. Bimstein points out
that not only will the new show draw a cross-section of viewers but
will also provide part-time employment for many out of work
protesters. “We feel we’re giving something back to the country,”
the ABC executive remarked.
