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Ben Stein's Diary
Fathers and Sons and a Birthday
“Tommy & Me” takes on new meaning.
Friday
It is my birthday. I am 67 years
old. That is too damned old. I don’t like it. No, sir, I don’t like
it. Obviously, the alternatives are also bad.
I awakened way too tired. Our son, Tommy, his staggeringly beautiful wife, Kitty, their lovely five month old daughter, Cora, and their Cocker Spaniel, Buglette, showed up at our house here in Rancho Mirage at about ten p.m. last night. I brought them to our condo at a nearby country club that we keep for guests. I think it’s a great condo but Tommy didn’t like it. He thought it had some kind of evil energy. Plus there was a large black van parked nearby that made him nervous.
So, at about midnight, I got him and his family a room at a nearby Marriott, went over with them to check in, and then headed home.
I felt put upon, but I swam under a perfectly clear sky with bright constellations everywhere and then I felt better, and then great.
This morning, I went over to my 12-step meeting. It was a reassuring meeting. This program, basically of turning my life over to God and surrendering my will to him, has saved my life over and over again. Now, my wife is in the program. It has saved my wife’s life and basically given her back to me after her soul was being stolen by an illness. I am so grateful I cannot even express it. This program is a miracle of God. After the meeting, I had leftover turkey from yesterday’s Thanksgiving dinner here at Morningside Country Club. It was fantastically tasty. Canned Ocean Spray cranberry sauce adds to the delight.
Then, a long nap. I awakened to put some thoughts together about a lawsuit that is being threatened against me by a disgruntled family friend and helper in my career. It is an amazing story and I might tell it in detail some day. For now, let’s just say it would make Kim Philby envious for its stunning betrayal of trust.
As I was noodling about this fantastic fantasy issue, I got a call from a relative. I won’t dwell on it except to say it was extremely depressing.
Then, my son, his wife, daughter and their dog showed up for birthday dinner at a casual restaurant. I was dreading it, mostly because I was in such a down mood after my conversation with my relative.
And, bang, miracle! As our salads arrived, my son and his wife recalled various incidents in recent years that were and are extremely — and I mean extremely — helpful to my truthful side of my issue with the woman I mentioned a moment ago (a woman my wife and I used to love and adore).
I thanked him and his wife and they fixed me with the most serious look I have ever seen them wear. “We will do anything to make sure the truth gets across in this thing,” my daughter-in-law said.
“Anything to make sure that people know the truth,” my son said. “I will stop anything I am doing, and so will Kitty, to make sure the truth is known.”
I was overwhelmed. The devotion of my wife, son, and daughter-in-law really just bowled me over. I was just floored. I knew they were committed to the truth but I had no idea of the depth of their feeling. I have never seen anything like this from my son before. He was intense.
Many years ago, my father was working at the White House as Chairman of the Council of Economic Advisers. I was a speechwriter for Mr. Nixon. I asked my father for help with a statistic. I said, “Please only do it if you don’t have anything more important to do.”
He looked at me in amazement in his office on the third floor of the Old EOB. He put his Kent cigarette in the brown smoked glass ashtray and exhaled. “What do you think I have to do that’s more important than helping my only son?” he asked me.
I will be thinking about that moment until I die. I will remember tonight until I die. My son. My ally in life’s struggles. How sweet it is.
Take that, trial lawyers who love publicity. You have given me my son. This was the best birthday dinner of my life.
About the Author
Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes “Ben Stein’s Diary” for every issue of The American Spectator.
Letter to the Editor View all comments (21) | Leave a comment
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Timothy L. Pennell| 11.28.11 @ 7:23AM
I was gonna right something sarcastic. But I absolutely LOVED what Ben Stein wrote.
I will remember that one line, at the end, hopefully, for the rest of my life, as I have 2 Young Sons.
What do I have to do that's more important than Helping my 2 Sons?
I can't think of anything. Thank You, Ben.
angela| 11.28.11 @ 4:39PM
More histrionics from the vulgar Ben Stein.
What an ego! What an ass!
Herb| 11.28.11 @ 7:42AM
Whenever Ben talks about being loyal and devoted and true to the loved ones in one's life as the highest duty in this life, he is on rock-solid ground.
annie| 11.29.11 @ 4:44PM
totally agree.....it's so wonderful to have children you love and that will stand by you.....
Dave| 11.28.11 @ 9:15AM
Sounds like Ben is firing a preemptive strike against his accuser, who I gather is a female.
Should be interesting.
beebop2| 11.28.11 @ 5:50PM
Bingo, Davey boychick ....
gearjammer| 11.28.11 @ 9:51AM
Only we silly fools who chose not to have our money pissed away by higher taxes will give you the benefit of doubt Ben. We are able to withstand mawkish, emotional ploys that are manipulative and lead us to see a " victim" , and punish the " rich" man. Hope you have some tea party people on the jury Ben.
jane | 11.28.11 @ 10:02AM
I'm glad you found truth and comfort on your sixty~seventh birthday!
Denver Todd| 11.28.11 @ 10:03AM
So, your only son thinks the condo has evil energy? Where is Kim Kardashian when you need her?
E. D. NELSON| 11.28.11 @ 10:07AM
I know a lot of people make snide and nasty comments concerning the messages you write, but I love the things you write. You are so much like so many of us and I love the humanity you bring to your writings and your many references to God. I would like you for a neighbor!
Blessings on your birthday! Be well.
Anthony| 11.28.11 @ 10:13AM
Hey Ben, since your son found your second luxury condo unsuitable and uninhabitable, why don't you invite your many friends here at TAS to use your second condo for a Ben Stein fantasy sleep over?
Then, they can take a tour of Rancho Mirage, assuming the hoi polli are allowed past the gate.
Good luck with the lawsuit, but remember, a person who represents himself has a fool for a client. Leave your defense to a pro, an expensive pro, afterall, you might not be as lucky as your soul mate, DSK.
Brian K. | 11.28.11 @ 10:21AM
Loved the book Tommy and Me. Love you, Ben. God bless you and your family.
Cabermon| 11.28.11 @ 11:05AM
Love the name of your Granddoggie, but is it pronounced like a tiny brass trumpet (BYEWG-let) or a tiny insect (BUG-let)?
Wonderful positive end to the essay. best of luck with the legal kerfuffel.
Kingofthenet| 11.28.11 @ 1:57PM
Sounds like the Stein family is a bunch of Neuritic Jews, Evil Energy from a CC Condo? Black Vans making someone nervous? Lawsuits from 'friends', yeah everyone is just out to get the Stein Family...
TiminAL| 11.28.11 @ 2:44PM
Mr. Stein,
I am happy that you are celbrating your Birthday with those nearest and dearest to you. I don't often comment as I usually don't have anything worth adding. However, in the instant I am compelled to do so for two reasons:
First, I am appalled at the vitriol expressed in some of these comments. While I don't necessarily find you continual references to your wealth or multiple trips and residences particularly meaningful, I nevertheless don't begrudge your ability to attain and enjoy them. Also, when we choose to criticize someone's faith, we only exhibit our lack of intelligence and faithlessness.
Second, being a fellow traveler along your steps, i would only remind you to review the 12th tradition, and leave it at that.
Many Blessings to you and yours,
Tim
cicero| 11.28.11 @ 3:32PM
Ben, why didn't your only son choose to stay in your house with you? Try it sometime. A houseful of young folks and little kids is more fun than a tub of ducks.
bsg| 12.1.11 @ 4:01PM
I can't imagine sending my son off to stay at another condo or a hotel (a Marriott no less). Make them up a room, enjoy the grandchild. At 67 who knows how many more years you might have with them.
Jack in Wi| 11.29.11 @ 1:42AM
The son doesn't like the condo that was bought mainly for him, so he goes to a hotel? What a family. Ben you eat out too much for your own good. We in the plebian classes usually have our relatives sleeping on the floor and on the counches. Most of us don't have the money to put our kids and grandkids up in hotels or buy extra condos for them.
threeleafclover| 11.29.11 @ 2:50PM
Ah, how sweet it is - the amnesia of old age! My stark recollection is of the ungrateful Tommy who said his life's ambition was to put as much geography between him and Ben as humanly possible and never set eyes on him again.
beebop2| 11.29.11 @ 7:09PM
Except that Tom Stein has no skills requisite to support himself and couldn't survive without his father's money.
career soldier| 11.30.11 @ 7:39AM
Hurah, Hurah, Hurah! What I wouldn't give to experience such a straight up moment with one of my own sons. You are a blessed man, Ben!