Friday
It is my birthday. I am 67 years
old. That is too damned old. I don’t like it. No, sir, I don’t like
it. Obviously, the alternatives are also bad.
I awakened way too tired. Our son, Tommy, his staggeringly
beautiful wife, Kitty, their lovely five month old daughter, Cora,
and their Cocker Spaniel, Buglette, showed up at our house here in
Rancho Mirage at about ten p.m. last night. I brought them to our
condo at a nearby country club that we keep for guests. I think
it’s a great condo but Tommy didn’t like it. He thought it had some
kind of evil energy. Plus there was a large black van parked nearby
that made him nervous.
So, at about midnight, I got him and his family a room at
a nearby Marriott, went over with them to check in, and then headed
home.
I felt put upon, but I swam under a perfectly clear sky
with bright constellations everywhere and then I felt better, and
then great.
This morning, I went over to my 12-step meeting. It was a
reassuring meeting. This program, basically of turning my life over
to God and surrendering my will to him, has saved my life over and
over again. Now, my wife is in the program. It has saved my wife’s
life and basically given her back to me after her soul was being
stolen by an illness. I am so grateful I cannot even express it.
This program is a miracle of God. After the meeting, I had leftover
turkey from yesterday’s Thanksgiving dinner here at Morningside
Country Club. It was fantastically tasty. Canned Ocean Spray
cranberry sauce adds to the delight.
Then, a long nap. I awakened to put some thoughts together
about a lawsuit that is being threatened against me by a
disgruntled family friend and helper in my career. It is an amazing
story and I might tell it in detail some day. For now, let’s just
say it would make Kim Philby envious for its stunning betrayal of
trust.
As I was noodling about this fantastic fantasy issue, I
got a call from a relative. I won’t dwell on it except to say it
was extremely depressing.
Then, my son, his wife, daughter and their dog showed up
for birthday dinner at a casual restaurant. I was dreading it,
mostly because I was in such a down mood after my conversation with
my relative.
And, bang, miracle! As our salads arrived, my son and his
wife recalled various incidents in recent years that were and are
extremely — and I mean extremely — helpful to my truthful side of
my issue with the woman I mentioned a moment ago (a woman my wife
and I used to love and adore).
I thanked him and his wife and they fixed me with the most
serious look I have ever seen them wear. “We will do anything to
make sure the truth gets across in this thing,” my daughter-in-law
said.
“Anything to make sure that people know the truth,” my son
said. “I will stop anything I am doing, and so will Kitty, to make
sure the truth is known.”
I was overwhelmed. The devotion of my wife, son, and
daughter-in-law really just bowled me over. I was just floored. I
knew they were committed to the truth but I had no idea of the
depth of their feeling. I have never seen anything like this from
my son before. He was intense.
Many years ago, my father was working at the White House
as Chairman of the Council of Economic Advisers. I was a
speechwriter for Mr. Nixon. I asked my father for help with a
statistic. I said, “Please only do it if you don’t have anything
more important to do.”
He looked at me in amazement in his office on the third
floor of the Old EOB. He put his Kent cigarette in the brown smoked
glass ashtray and exhaled. “What do you think I have to do that’s
more important than helping my only son?” he asked me.
I will be thinking about that moment until I die. I will
remember tonight until I die. My son. My ally in life’s struggles.
How sweet it is.
Take that, trial lawyers who love publicity. You have
given me my son. This was the best birthday dinner of my
life.
Timothy L. Pennell| 11.28.11 @ 7:23AM
I was gonna right something sarcastic. But I absolutely LOVED what Ben Stein wrote.
I will remember that one line, at the end, hopefully, for the rest of my life, as I have 2 Young Sons.
What do I have to do that's more important than Helping my 2 Sons?
I can't think of anything. Thank You, Ben.
angela| 11.28.11 @ 4:39PM
More histrionics from the vulgar Ben Stein.
What an ego! What an ass!
Herb| 11.28.11 @ 7:42AM
Whenever Ben talks about being loyal and devoted and true to the loved ones in one's life as the highest duty in this life, he is on rock-solid ground.
annie| 11.29.11 @ 4:44PM
totally agree.....it's so wonderful to have children you love and that will stand by you.....
Dave| 11.28.11 @ 9:15AM
Sounds like Ben is firing a preemptive strike against his accuser, who I gather is a female.
Should be interesting.
beebop2| 11.28.11 @ 5:50PM
Bingo, Davey boychick ....
gearjammer| 11.28.11 @ 9:51AM
Only we silly fools who chose not to have our money pissed away by higher taxes will give you the benefit of doubt Ben. We are able to withstand mawkish, emotional ploys that are manipulative and lead us to see a " victim" , and punish the " rich" man. Hope you have some tea party people on the jury Ben.
jane | 11.28.11 @ 10:02AM
I'm glad you found truth and comfort on your sixty~seventh birthday!
Denver Todd| 11.28.11 @ 10:03AM
So, your only son thinks the condo has evil energy? Where is Kim Kardashian when you need her?
E. D. NELSON| 11.28.11 @ 10:07AM
I know a lot of people make snide and nasty comments concerning the messages you write, but I love the things you write. You are so much like so many of us and I love the humanity you bring to your writings and your many references to God. I would like you for a neighbor!
Blessings on your birthday! Be well.
Anthony| 11.28.11 @ 10:13AM
Hey Ben, since your son found your second luxury condo unsuitable and uninhabitable, why don't you invite your many friends here at TAS to use your second condo for a Ben Stein fantasy sleep over?
Then, they can take a tour of Rancho Mirage, assuming the hoi polli are allowed past the gate.
Good luck with the lawsuit, but remember, a person who represents himself has a fool for a client. Leave your defense to a pro, an expensive pro, afterall, you might not be as lucky as your soul mate, DSK.
Brian K. | 11.28.11 @ 10:21AM
Loved the book Tommy and Me. Love you, Ben. God bless you and your family.
Cabermon| 11.28.11 @ 11:05AM
Love the name of your Granddoggie, but is it pronounced like a tiny brass trumpet (BYEWG-let) or a tiny insect (BUG-let)?
Wonderful positive end to the essay. best of luck with the legal kerfuffel.
Kingofthenet| 11.28.11 @ 1:57PM
Sounds like the Stein family is a bunch of Neuritic Jews, Evil Energy from a CC Condo? Black Vans making someone nervous? Lawsuits from 'friends', yeah everyone is just out to get the Stein Family...
TiminAL| 11.28.11 @ 2:44PM
Mr. Stein,
I am happy that you are celbrating your Birthday with those nearest and dearest to you. I don't often comment as I usually don't have anything worth adding. However, in the instant I am compelled to do so for two reasons:
First, I am appalled at the vitriol expressed in some of these comments. While I don't necessarily find you continual references to your wealth or multiple trips and residences particularly meaningful, I nevertheless don't begrudge your ability to attain and enjoy them. Also, when we choose to criticize someone's faith, we only exhibit our lack of intelligence and faithlessness.
Second, being a fellow traveler along your steps, i would only remind you to review the 12th tradition, and leave it at that.
Many Blessings to you and yours,
Tim
cicero| 11.28.11 @ 3:32PM
Ben, why didn't your only son choose to stay in your house with you? Try it sometime. A houseful of young folks and little kids is more fun than a tub of ducks.
bsg| 12.1.11 @ 4:01PM
I can't imagine sending my son off to stay at another condo or a hotel (a Marriott no less). Make them up a room, enjoy the grandchild. At 67 who knows how many more years you might have with them.
Jack in Wi| 11.29.11 @ 1:42AM
The son doesn't like the condo that was bought mainly for him, so he goes to a hotel? What a family. Ben you eat out too much for your own good. We in the plebian classes usually have our relatives sleeping on the floor and on the counches. Most of us don't have the money to put our kids and grandkids up in hotels or buy extra condos for them.
threeleafclover| 11.29.11 @ 2:50PM
Ah, how sweet it is - the amnesia of old age! My stark recollection is of the ungrateful Tommy who said his life's ambition was to put as much geography between him and Ben as humanly possible and never set eyes on him again.
beebop2| 11.29.11 @ 7:09PM
Except that Tom Stein has no skills requisite to support himself and couldn't survive without his father's money.
career soldier| 11.30.11 @ 7:39AM
Hurah, Hurah, Hurah! What I wouldn't give to experience such a straight up moment with one of my own sons. You are a blessed man, Ben!